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RE: Mentoring... - 8/28/2008 6:26:54 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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I'm not seeing that as any different Alumbrado. How can a CEO teach me to be a secretary, when he's never been one, doesn't know the ins and outs of being one, etc.

I still say that flailing someone's ass is not TEACHING them, it's flailing their ass, it's playing with them, whatever. Now stand a sub next to me who tells me to relax, kick my ass back, feel the flail thud my skin as tips sting a bit, feel the sensation wash over me... that's TEACHING, because that sub has been there, she knows the sensations, etc. YMMV.

Cali

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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Post #: 61

RE: Mentoring... - 8/28/2008 6:57:44 AM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Pers, I know full well Im accountable for my actions, and that making a bad decision like mentorship with a user, is my choice, but they are also in the wrong for starting with people who arent quite so sure about grasping concepts.

i equate it to someone just moving to a country and not knowing the language, They are in no way stupid, or anything else but they do need some help, I commend the person down the street offering directions to a hotel or such other wise helping them transition. I score the one that says you must do x for me, Its the "such and such" way, and thats how I see mentorship with men who dont want a commitment, but stimply to play and call it mentorship.

Sure Its not like learnign a new language in most cases, but i remember when i first started out legally, and could go to the toy store, and I could finally play, It was so exciting and rushful and I wanted everything at once, I learned restraint quickly, but some take more time, they need to make the mistakes yes, and its their choice yes. But in many cases they are swayed and lured by pretty and shiney, and get hurt.

Would I mock someone going poor me I was in a mentorship and he used me and now I have "xyz" most probably would, but still even though they messed up doesnt mean the mentor didnt either.

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" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

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Post #: 62

RE: Mentoring... - 8/28/2008 7:19:57 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

See CD? It's not just me. LOL!

Cali
(who has had that "discussion" of terminology with more than one person in the past)

Yes, I see...and you will note that tis not just me who sees those as "trainers/play partners", not "mentors".

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Post #: 63

RE: Mentoring... - 8/28/2008 7:34:13 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I'm not seeing that as any different Alumbrado. How can a CEO teach me to be a secretary, when he's never been one, doesn't know the ins and outs of being one, etc.

I still say that flailing someone's ass is not TEACHING them, it's flailing their ass, it's playing with them, whatever. Now stand a sub next to me who tells me to relax, kick my ass back, feel the flail thud my skin as tips sting a bit, feel the sensation wash over me... that's TEACHING, because that sub has been there, she knows the sensations, etc. YMMV.

Cali

As noted in my previous post, my thoughts exactly.

I checked my Webster's yesterday and my Oxford...they defined "mentor" simply: "a wise and faithful adviser". Not even a mention of teaching though I suppose advice can be construed as instruction. But let's have a show of hands for anyone who feels that an advisor on submission...or even on play...has to touch to teach?

I have no problem with soul2soul or anyone else playing with someone and learning from them...after all, don't the rest of us dominants talk about teaching our submissives? And it seems that soul is quite aware of...and welcomes...the play. What I have a problem with is the use of the word "mentor" vs. playpartner/trainer. In all actuality, I am not all that wild about the word trainer as it is my opinion...and as a disclaimer, MY opinion...that you cannot "train" someone in how it is going to feel the next time a differing dominant brings the flogger down. And I have a problem with the idea that some dominant is going to teach a submissive how to be a "better" submissive for the next dominant she serves. In reality, I would be willing to bet that most dominants on here have submissive partners who have been with other dominants prior to the one they are with now. I'd also be willing to bet that most of those submissives would state that, while their prior experience has been helpful in helping them to accomodate to this dominant's ways quicker, there have certainly been changes and corrections made to their behavior in order to make them more pleasing to the dominant they had now. And that in the long run, all they would have needed to have been taught was "It depends on the dominant. They will each teach you THEIR way. Learn what it is that YOU want from the relationship and be able to state that."

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Post #: 64

RE: Mentoring... - 8/28/2008 10:47:30 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

That being said, when can we talk more about your knife/needle/tattooing activities? Inquiring minds want to know....*grins*

Completely OT... I hope that I'll have some new pictures this weekend, from a small cutting and cautery branding seminar. *grins*

CFB

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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Post #: 65