RE: S&M is now PC?? (Full Version)

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subsnow -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 12:48:34 PM)

I think it's interesting that we, as humans, feel the need to question everything. I am guilty of being insatiably curious myself though so I shouldn't say anything.

I agree that this lifestyle used to be viewed as dark and mysterious. I definately think that it's gotten fluffier over time. It's probably because those who were into the darker side of things didn't care about societies views so they didn't hide anything. Little did anyone know, the fluffy people were doing these same activities in the quiet privacy of their homes and didn't talk about it. It wasn't as accepted by society back in the day. Then the internet came about and those fluffy people found that there were other fluffy people interested in the same thing. Now the community is filled with all of those people who had been hiding.

Does that make any sense?



blacksword404 -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 1:25:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?



In my opinion, it's not just BDSM - it's our whole damn culture. Squeamishness, hypersensitivity and exaggerated risk-aversion seem to be everywhere. Sometimes the sweetness and light can be just unbearable.



Well you have to make sure you don't hurt anybodies feeling. Don't want anybody uncomfortable. Ooh that's scary, your going to have to lighten the dungeon up. Put some pink and blue wallpaper on the wall.Ahh now thats soothing. Crossroads of stay the same dark culture or bubble gum it and bring in more people?



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 1:31:30 PM)

you mean it was more fun lol



WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 1:57:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

And it has altered how?
 
the.dark.

 
I'm sitting here wondering the same exact thing right now??



WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 2:03:20 PM)

When you are talking about S&M, are you speaking of it in the purest sense, or are you mixing D/s relationship considerations into the picture here.

I can see PC issues coming into play with D/s relationships and their Dynamics, but not with S&M.

What specific PC issues are you talking about, I seem to be missing the Morning Memo's on my Desk on this one?  (puzzled look)...

Using my best Richard Dean Anderson SG-1 tone of voice.."And this has changed how?"



Evility -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 2:38:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?


Because the internet became popular and readily accessible to the rank and file, many of whom discovered their dominance or submission just after their internet access went live.



colouredin -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 2:40:30 PM)

yup none opf us people who have been involved since the birth of the internet are real true Doms or subs, in fact withing the next 50 years most real true Doms and subs will no longer exsist, you my dear gentleman are a dying breed



missturbation -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 2:46:12 PM)

quote:

Back in the day ( when the earth was flat and dinosaurs roamed the land...lol) S&M was pretty straight forward...... one person wanted their ass beaten, one person wanted to beat their ass. The dominant partner was in charge of the play, actions, and safety of the submissive and the submissive partner submitted their body, mind and soul to the dominant.

I see nothing you have said for 'back in the day' that is any different now.
 
quote:

S&M at one time was dark, full of loud screams, dark corners, sweat, tears... strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules.

Still is for me.
 
quote:

Now it seems to be lighter..... fluffy....... almost sweet.

For some maybe.
If their kink is to be light and fluffy what the hell is wrong with that?
Or is your kink ok but theirs is not?
 





RCdc -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 3:18:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

And it has altered how?
 
the.dark.

 
I'm sitting here wondering the same exact thing right now??


Guess we aren't getting an answer any time soon.
Maybe we aren't .dark. or shadowy enough?[;)]
 
the.dark.



RCdc -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 3:22:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

so what has changed, for good or bad, within the S&M world as you see it?  Since you have discovered it, what has grown, died, fallen by the way side?


Nothing?  Are you trying to suggest that the whole concept has altered in some way?  Watered down?  Fluffy?  I would disagree.
 
the.dark.



IvyMorgan -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:01:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

so what has changed, for good or bad, within the S&M world as you see it?  Since you have discovered it, what has grown, died, fallen by the way side?
For me, the big change has been safety.

When I was first out, if you met a dominant in a club, (or in my case were given/loaned to one) you *knew* they knew how to use whatever it was they happened to have in their hand.  The very secretive, closeted world, did mean that people were serious, and were shown the ropes, and knew them, before they got near the little subbie girls.  At least, that was my experience.

Now, I've met many, many a "dominant" who didn't know one end of a flogger from the other, who tied me up only as long as I stayed really still and didn't slide the ropes off, who couldn't then untie me afterwards... in short, it's not as safe as it used to be.  I've also seen people play in clubs who didn't know how to do what it is that they were trying to do, again, not as safe as it used to be.

Here endeth my "the internet has a lot to answer for" moan.

Side note:  I agree with the "there were lots of people doing it at home, who found the net and found more people who were doing it at home, and so the scene changed" line.  Which I know contradicts what I said.  I should imagine the reality is somewhere in the middle of the two.



seababy -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:10:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct? 

When swingers with whips started waving SSC banners claiming to be lions not gazelles. 


There is a lot of anthropomorphism in your Posts RS.
Your not a closet furry are you?

To the Op -

I think part of BDSM is exploring what society deems as our "darker" side.
Inflicting pain, enjoying receiving pain and experiencing fear, dominating others, taking control, following a TPE relationship, allowing what our culture commonly perceives as negative traits to power our sexuality and as tool to explore our own minds and that of our partners.

I think advances in technology can create cultural change.
Readily available information on the internet gives people the opportunity to explore.
Our fast food culture encourages the 5 minute experts. (I googled this subject for 5 minutes now I'm an expert)
I think this gives people the illusion that they truly grasp the complexities of a subject when all they have a a very shallow understanding.

So some new people who have done their googling get involved and want to explore but they squick out when confronted by exploring the "darker" side in context with their sexuality.
They don't want to identify what society considers unacceptable within themselves (like sadism). So they try and clean it up so they feel comfortable. (apply fluffy bunnies and unicorns as needed).
Then some people are just fluffy, and that's ok too as long as they don't insist that others play their way .

Those who have accumulated extensive hard won knowledge over many years of experience (like RS who I just had a sly dig at) will more than likely shrug and keep going on with what they do.


Ok I suspect I've created a pointless ramble but I've had to fire this thought off before running off to work.
Ignore if it makes no sense. Ill reread it later.









Paulnz -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:22:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

Why and when did S&M / BDSM become so politically correct?
Back in the day ( when the earth was flat and dinosaurs roamed the land...lol) S&M was pretty straight forward...... one person wanted their ass beaten, one person wanted to beat their ass. The dominant partner was in charge of the play, actions, and safety of the submissive and the submissive partner submitted their body, mind and soul to the dominant.
I would love to see a few other people's opinions of how S&M has developed over the years, for good or bad.




It started to become politically correct from the time BDSM became the term. Before then we talked about B&D, S&M etc. Back then, women looked for someone at a party. They'd come up and say obvious things like she'd been naughty and needed a spanking. I remember one such episode where I replied affirmatively, but then proceeded to ignore her the whole time ( not intended, just the way it happened ). She then set about finding out who I was, and where I lived. A couple of days later she arrived at my place unannounced and ready for her spanking. Now that breaks all the protocols you read about here does it not ? People just did stuff. What has happened is that facets of B&D/S&M have become mainstream, and the same rules society puts on things have been attached to it. So no infidelity, no violence, rules rules rules, democracy. How can you be a fascist these days and enjoy it? It's all gone to pot.



Paulnz -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:28:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Ah yes, the good ol' days when women glowed and men thundered... oh wait, that was only in Australia and they have vegamite there (*shudders*)


Vegemite 



ravenslaveheart -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:29:07 PM)

i knew S&M was on its way to the mainstream when i first started seeing "bondage pants" at Hot Topic *eeks*

a few years after that, i've seen teens in the mall/downtown/around the neighborhoods, walking each other on leashes; or forcing a girl's arms behind her back as they walk, whispering who-knows-what in her ear as both their faces turn bright red. so if that's what you're talking about ... i wouldn't call it PC at all, but S&M has definitely made its way into the mainstream.



yourMissTress -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:49:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

...... S&M at one time was dark, full of loud screams, dark corners, sweat, tears... strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules.


Ok, I know it's been 4 days since I had a session, but it's not been so long ago that it could be categorized as "at one time".   [:D]
 
Seriously, all people play at their own level of intensity.  If you are not playing at your desired level of intensity, then step it up.  If you are talking about others who don't play at the level of intensity that you think they should be, maybe you should examine why you care.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 4:59:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina
I guess the best way I can explain what I mean by PC, I call the disneyland effect...... S&M at one time was dark, full of loud screams, dark corners, sweat, tears... strong leather covered dominants, who played by their own rules. Now it seems to be lighter..... fluffy....... almost sweet. Does that make any sence?

I'll just say there are many nights that my partner and I are laughing too much to make it through a scene, or barely get to the sex part.

For some, lightness is too intense to handle.  For me, it's just right.

And I'm quite thrilled about that.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 5:16:36 PM)

~fast reply~

Like everything else, SM today is exactly what the participants make of it. It is, in and of itself, neither light nor dark, neither bitter nor sweet -- it is -exactly- what it has always been... what the participants have created it to be.

If there -is- a difference from the "good old days", it is in the realization that the scope of SM is so much more broad than we could ever conceive of, and is far from being restricted to the shadows and corners. To my mind, this is a positive change.

CFB



RedMagic1 -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 5:23:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
Like everything else, SM today is exactly what the participants make of it. It is, in and of itself, neither light nor dark, neither bitter nor sweet -- it is -exactly- what it has always been... what the participants have created it to be.

Which is why I much prefer WIITWD/"What it is that we do" over BDSM.  I use BDSM sometimes when I post here, because I don't want to make my writing murky for the sake of some philosophical point, but the reality is that "BDSM" isn't even a "term" because it doesn't "mean" much of anything.  It's a placeholder in a conversation so we don't have to have a theoretical debate every time we want to talk about what parts of the body it is safe/dangerous to whack.



Lynnxz -> RE: S&M is now PC?? (8/27/2008 5:34:04 PM)

What confuses me is the type that wants bdsm to be a ridiculously scary, dark, perverted horrible thing in the eyes of society. Call me a gazelle/guppy/fluffball, but I don't get it.

Thankfully, I'm seeing less and less of that attitude in the younger crowd- hopefully it will die down in a few years.



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