Fair or Unfair

Fair or Unfair (Full Version)

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Gr33nT0p -> Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:05:17 PM)
Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended? example: If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes. Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction? Please answer, Would love to read the responses

Allondra -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:10:37 PM)
Why on earth should wiitwd be fair? And yes, I realize this is the "ask a submissive/slave" room, and I am not one of those.... But, why would it not be ok for the dominant person to behave the way you're asking about?

LaTigresse -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:12:08 PM)
From where I sit it is exceedingly fair....[:D]

marieToo -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:13:24 PM)
My guess is if she senses you are enjoying it (ie "fondling her") that it won't be a very effective punishment. But I guess everyone is different.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:15:22 PM)
quote: Is it fair that...Is it ok for... what is fair or unfair, ok or not ok are not determinations this slave makes. He makes the rules and enforces them however He sees fit.

colouredin -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:18:30 PM)
thats such an odd question and to me seems i dunno weird to ask it. Punishment is what the Dominant derives the simple fact that its punishment is what is painful

NuevaVida -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:35:32 PM)
Fair is often a perception. Sometimes life isn't fair. I have had punishments in the past that were grossly unfair. But they were his choice. I dealt with it and moved on, and didn't repeat the infraction that caused such punishment in the first place.

softpjOS -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:36:50 PM)
Personally, Mistress seperates play from punishment; however that does not mean that She is in any way limited in Her choice of punishment. She chooses the punishment and how it is to be carried out. And no, punishment isn't supposed to be fun or viewed as "play".. kinda defeats the purpose in my opinion. lol who said anything we do has to be "fair", and who says what is and isn't fair? Certainly not me in our relationship.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:40:09 PM)
fr Was thinking the same thing, what does fair have to do with it? Just because the s-type may not enjoy a certain activity, i don't think fair applies. Also is it supposed to be play punishment or real punishment? Because some use the word punishment when they might more accurately mean the word play. heartfelt

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:45:50 PM)
A friend of mine likes to say, "Life's not fair, sissy!" I would guess that if one is being played with during a supposed punishment it isn't really meant to be serious.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 12:52:57 PM)
One of the things I hate to hear, or say is "that's not fair." So, because I'm being deliberately obtuse, I'm going to switch out that word fair and replace it with one that doens't make me want to backhand someone. Is it wise or unwise, to be played with during punishment? Wow. There's a HUGE spectrum of possiblities here ranging from hell yeah to heck no, and numerous variations in between. Screwing up is painful. I usually do a lot more beating myself up over my screw ups than anyone else would ever dream of doing to me for punishment. I'm hard on myself like that. Having a Dominant/Top/Master (Pick one) lighten the mood of the punishment with personal interaction could help ease my mindset of self recrimination. On the other hand, playing during punishment can sometimes confuse the issue too.

leadership527 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 1:50:33 PM)
Define "fair" As soon as you say "fair" regarding a relationship, then you are implying that there are two parties with mutually conflicting goals which must be rationalized in some "fair" manner. I reject the entire concept. Mine and myself are not competing with each other. Because we are not, there is no way for one of us to "cheat" the other. If I had to punish mine, I would do so in the way which I best thought would modify her behavior. If that included messing with her during the punishment, then I would do so. What you're talking about sounds more like some sort of play masked as punishment. Assumign that that's true, then I'd have to go with "all's fair in love and war".

Wildfleurs -> ~ (8/27/2008 2:18:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended? example: If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes. Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction? Please answer, Would love to read the responses Good god thats not punishment, thats a scene! And it sounds like fun, so I don't understand the issue of fairness even playing into it. C~

IrishMist -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 2:18:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gr33nT0p Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended? example: If you (the sub) did something wrong and were to be punished by your Dom/Domme, let us say by holding a dime to the wall with your nose as you are squating for 15 minutes. Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction? Please answer, Would love to read the responses Is it fair? If they want to cane or flog me during something like that; that is their perogative. It's not my place to tell them they can or can not. [8\|] edited to add: as for being fair or not...it really does not matter what I think in that instance. All that matters is that he wanted to cane or flog me; so he does.

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 2:32:08 PM)
You betcha it's fair. We are talking about punishment afterall are we not?

missturbation -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 2:56:46 PM)
quote: Is it fair that during punishment you are teased or played with or even further punishment is extended? As others have said fair or unfair does not come into it. quote: Is it ok for your Dom/Domme to help you learn to concentrate by either fondling you, or taking the cane or flogger to your behind, or breasts or some other such distraction? It's fine. However it would for me personally not be constructive to do something i enjoy whilst punishing me. For example fondling or flogging i love so it would make the punishment less a punishment more a scene.

katie978 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 3:33:43 PM)
If I wanted my life to be fair, I'd've been a female dominant.

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 3:38:59 PM)
I'm having fantasies about how "Sharon Osbourne" or "The Fruit Cake Lady", if she were still alive, would respond to this post.

littlewonder -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 3:41:47 PM)
Who said anything is fair? It's not meant to be fair..at least not in my relationships...it's his choice..if he wishes to tease during punishment or do anything else to me, who am I to say it's unfair? I have a feeling it wouldn't get me very far.

chamberqueen -> RE: Fair or Unfair (8/27/2008 5:33:26 PM)
Fair or unfair, it is up to the Dom/me. The worse lesson I ever learned in school was in 8th grade. life is not always fair, little girl. Might as well learn it now. (From an extremely stressed teacher.)

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