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RE: Body Maintenance - 11/25/2005 11:01:38 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

lord i feel like i could be attacked for posting on here... but again... here's another ones opinion....

anyone that looks at my pic can tell i have weight issues. i'm no cindy crawford, but i'm no devine (god bless her soul ) either.

i too ran wild and very active.. hell drove and unloaded big rigs for years. been all across the great USA.. met some people i will always remember.. and some i forgot as soon as we parted. and in saying so on that..i bet i couldn't tell you what most of them looked like exactly.. i just remember i met this one and liked them forwhatever reason.. disliked for this reason.

my life made that drastic turn to disability in the summer of 2000. after having my back operated on because of DDD (Deginative Disc Disease).... the main nerve in my spine was being smashed between vertebrates.. though paralizing... it was painful. the doctors told me straight up.. it needs to be moved.. or it will be servered and i'll never walk again.. or feel anything again.

well you bet your sweet dollar.. i'll take all the weight i have...if it means.. being able to feel! and though i take methadone daily to control my pain... my pain means i can stiil feel.. and still alive.

so though i'm not what some are looking for in the looks department... i am in others. because i have more to offer than looks...would i like to be a 2 or 4?... hell no.. i would be happy as a 14.. but with time...i might see that again... but i'm not going to make myself unhappy so that i'm not offensive for someones eyes either...

jessica

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 41

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/25/2005 11:58:34 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
...when we engage in physical activities with others, it is only with those who also care about fitness...this makes finding the right people somewhat more challenging, but he believes that it says a lot about a person when they simply choose to let themselves go...and he'd rather not associate with those who have such a mentality.

What's your master's IQ? What's yours?

Do you find those questions at least mildly annoying? If so, why?

What if I suggested that body condition is less important than what's going on in people's brains? Has anyone every suggested to you that the biggest sex organ in the human body is the brain itself? What is "sexy"? Only thinking it sexy makes it so, there is no objective criteria.

I don't personally enjoy the company if unintelligent people. I have a certain lower intelligence threshold in other people beyond which I find conversation or friendship difficult. That's cool. Everyone has stuff that floats their boat. What I don't do is show up on a public forum somewhere and say...

"Seriously, I'm really curious why it seems that a lot of people let themselves go mentally. A Dom should be intelligent, and a sub should have something to really offer her Dom in terms of intellectual stimulation. That's just how it is. I might not be the smartest person in the world, but I improve upon my mental acuity EVERY day at least a little. No one has to be that extreme, but they shouldn't just not give a shit."

why is it often assumed that if a person has certain physical preferences/standards in those they seek to associate with in some way, that they must not care about anything else?? obviously, personality and character are most important to my Master when interacting with/befriending others in the lifestyle...but it's also important to him that a person has self-respect and a concern for their own physical well-being, even if it's only for the benefit of a potential Dominant (as in the case with a submissive). is the physical self more important than the mental? of course not...no one has suggested that. but does that make the physical completely irrelevant...and have you ever considered that often one is directly related to the other??

btw, to answer your question, both my Master and i have IQs that are well above average.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 42

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/25/2005 1:05:07 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

why is it often assumed that if a person has certain physical preferences/standards in those they seek to associate with in some way, that they must not care about anything else?? obviously, personality and character are most important to my Master when interacting with/befriending others in the lifestyle...but it's also important to him that a person has self-respect and a concern for their own physical well-being, even if it's only for the benefit of a potential Dominant (as in the case with a submissive). is the physical self more important than the mental? of course not...no one has suggested that. but does that make the physical completely irrelevant...and have you ever considered that often one is directly related to the other??

btw, to answer your question, both my Master and i have IQs that are well above average.

daddysprop247

i think we can all identify "must haves" such as integrity, but the bottom line is chemistry cannot be manufactured and it is essential to a love relationship...whether in or out of BDSM. Some men will never be attractive to me, and i simply say "No TY". Or if they wish to chat, then it's time to send me a pic. And visa versa.

candystripper

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 43

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/25/2005 4:26:34 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
...but it's also important to him that a person has self-respect and a concern for their own physical well-being, even if it's only for the benefit of a potential Dominant (as in the case with a submissive).

Are self-respect and body type now related issues somehow?

That's crap. Some people have ACTUAL physical problems that make increased weight a very likely outcome given their problems. Half this thread is people naming off those issues. It has nothing to do with self-respect. As a matter of fact, it's entirely possible that some people prefer to be heavier for all kinds of reasons - including those based on purely aesthetic choices.

Personally, I like women around sizes 9-16 or so. Women of those basic shapes have been the beauty ideal for centuries. Your Kate Moss types have only been appealing - and then only to some - for around 30 years or so. Even the Flappers of the 20s didn't actually look like Erte drawings, they looked like regularly sized gals wearing their Flapper gear.

Further, I don't like women that look particularly athletic. Y'all need to expand your horizons. Try:

"Zaftig: The Case for Curves"
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1883211174/104-9890914-3734353?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
is the physical self more important than the mental? of course not...no one has suggested that. but does that make the physical completely irrelevant...and have you ever considered that often one is directly related to the other??

I have considered it, and I am not convinced that they are related but in extreme cases.

Can't you admit that these issues are largely subjective?

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
btw, to answer your question, both my Master and i have IQs that are well above average.

It's hard to tell given the absence of anything like correct grammatical form. The absence of anything like evidence to back up these bald assertions would be a related matter in my view.

I am not arguing with what you two prefer in others, I am arguing against the view that these issues are objective or that one body type is in any way superior to another.

What "Daddy" likes is what Daddy likes. But no one gives a fuck but him. I sure don't give a fuck about his opinions or yours on these matters - I have my own preferences.

WTF?

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 44

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 12:43:09 PM

KurtGranz

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I'm not trying to judge people that are older than me in that sense. I've recently (2 years ago) started working out alot and eatting better because my FATHER is diabetic. So I'm concerned about my health in the long run. But all I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why someone that's heavier than I am, and I weigh 250 because I lift and I'm six foot four, would think I'd be remotely interested. They could be the most interesting person that I've ever met, but if they can't interest me sexually, I'd never be more than a friend. I'm not trying to say that I'm the greatest looking guy in the world, but I do my best. I just can't understand how people that ARE physically able to be in shape don't put in at least SOME effort. Working and time constrants are of course an issue as you take on more responsibilities, but if you don't TRY and be healthy.. it'll never happen.

And for everyone that is older than me and complaining about what I said... Why don't YOU 'STFU!' I wouldn't scream at someone in a wheelchair to run a hundred yard dash with me. I just think that everyone has had a point in their life where they WERE in shape. If you let go of that before you hit 40, there should be a reason for it. My Dad is 67 and just last year got his first problems. He's been diabetic for about 13 years, and has had it in his family for generations. I'm not looking forward to making even the mistakes he did, so I'm trying to stay healthy NOW.

Self-respect and body image are related, yes. I know that I feel better about getting in to shape, but I'm also not vaine enough to not be happy with myself regardless. Bottom line, I say that everyone should have their own health at least generally in mind. If not for your own sake, than for those you care about.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 45

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 12:46:09 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtGranz

I'm not trying to judge people that are older than me in that sense. I've recently (2 years ago) started working out alot and eatting better because my FATHER is diabetic. So I'm concerned about my health in the long run. But all I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why someone that's heavier than I am, and I weigh 250 because I lift and I'm six foot four, would think I'd be remotely interested. They could be the most interesting person that I've ever met, but if they can't interest me sexually, I'd never be more than a friend. I'm not trying to say that I'm the greatest looking guy in the world, but I do my best. I just can't understand how people that ARE physically able to be in shape don't put in at least SOME effort. Working and time constrants are of course an issue as you take on more responsibilities, but if you don't TRY and be healthy.. it'll never happen.

And for everyone that is older than me and complaining about what I said... Why don't YOU 'STFU!' I wouldn't scream at someone in a wheelchair to run a hundred yard dash with me. I just think that everyone has had a point in their life where they WERE in shape. If you let go of that before you hit 40, there should be a reason for it. My Dad is 67 and just last year got his first problems. He's been diabetic for about 13 years, and has had it in his family for generations. I'm not looking forward to making even the mistakes he did, so I'm trying to stay healthy NOW.

Self-respect and body image are related, yes. I know that I feel better about getting in to shape, but I'm also not vaine enough to not be happy with myself regardless. Bottom line, I say that everyone should have their own health at least generally in mind. If not for your own sake, than for those you care about.

well put.

(in reply to KurtGranz)

Post #: 46

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 1:15:28 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

I have just learned that body image and self-respect are not necessarily linked. Learned it the hard way which, while painful, is very effective. For the last 10 years, I have, thanks to diet and exercise, been in very good shape. For me, the fitness thing was part of a total makover...psychological, spiritual, and physical...that I really needed. Since my program of discipline worked SO well for me, I figured it would work well for others. I figured a lot of people needed it and that those I came in contact with would be SO grateful to me for passing on this new way of life. It never occurred to me how arrogant that attitude was. I didn't know because it never came up as an issue in a relationship. Well....long story short...now it has, and I have lost someone who is really incredible because of it. So now I know: My way is not for everyone. Furthermore, my arrogance can really hurt someone and destroy what might otherwise have been a perfect relationship. I lost a really good friend and have no one to blame but myself. Now, one good thing I can say about myself is that I learn from my mistakes. I don't just learn the words; I make the changes necessary to prevent the same fuckups from recurring. Still, this learning process has cost me a good friend. Mostly, it's not about me. It's about the pain I caused her. I definitely did not see myself as the kind of guy who could do such a thing. But that is the nature of learning, isn't it? Sucks.

My experience may not precisely correspond to the OP's view, but I think it is relevant and worth noting.

Thanks for listening.

Bob

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 47

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 1:21:16 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtGranz
And for everyone that is older than me and complaining about what I said... Why don't YOU 'STFU!'

My viseral reaction to being told to shut up (let along to "shut the fuck up") is to suspect the speaker is suffering from a severe attack of rectal crainal inversion.

Given that, at 19, there are few on here who are more immature than the OP, it seems to fit here.

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 11/27/2005 1:24:40 PM >

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to KurtGranz)

Post #: 48

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 1:44:01 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Everyone had a time when they *were* in shape?

Look around the mall and the playground. Think about those high school hallways that are not so long in your past. All those folks were Bally models, eh? Only on the O.C., pal.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 49

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 1:54:57 PM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

KurtGranz here we go-

quote:

But all I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why someone that's heavier than I am, and I weigh 250 because I lift and I'm six foot four, would think I'd be remotely interested.

Maybe because there are plenty of people more worried about a woman's mind? That like a girl that look like that? No everyone is a super model. Not everyone likes the super model look. Someone doesn't look like a super model and that isn't good enough for you fine, but you what the hell is the point in starting a thread asking why the hell cant people stay in shape.

quote:

I just can't understand how people that ARE physically able to be in shape don't put in at least SOME effort. Working and time constrants are of course an issue as you take on more responsibilities, but if you don't TRY and be healthy. it'll never happen.

Because not everyone thinks like you? Not everyone holes the same ideals as you? Not everyone feels they need to be a certain shape in order to be happy and fulfilled. You do? More power to you. But again why create a hostile thread to ask what is really an obvious question.

quote:

And for everyone that is older than me and complaining about what I said... Why don't YOU 'STFU!'

They aren't the ones that started a thread like this.

quote:

Self-respect and body image are related, yes.

If you feel that to respect yourself you need to be a certain way physically, I feel sorry for you. Self-respect has nothing to do with how your body looks, it has to do with self-respect. You can respect yourself at 200 pounds as easily as you can at 150.

quote:

I know that I feel better about getting in to shape

Good. You work out and keep yourself in good shape. But not everyone needs to be in great shape to feel good about themselves regardless if they have a disability or not.

In short, no one is saying being in shape is a bad thing. But not working out doesn't mean you don't give a shit or have less to offer. And if big chicks arn't your flavor then hey you have the right to like who you want. But putting down people because they don't meet your standards on looks saying they should be this or that...well you have a lot of growing up to do and relize the world isn't populated with super models but people, and people are skinny fat short tall and anything else you can think of.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 50

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 2:24:01 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KurtGranz

But all I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why someone that's heavier than I am, and I weigh 250 because I lift and I'm six foot four, would think I'd be remotely interested.

Is *that* what this is about? Disbelief (insulted?) that someone "like that" would think she has a shot with you? Chalk it up to wishful thinking, say "good luck in your search," and move on.

Taking care of yourself if a good thing. Encouraging others to do the same is a good thing. Making blanket personal comments about others and their bodies is not.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to KurtGranz)

Post #: 51

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 5:41:53 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Given that, at 19, there are few on here who are more immature than the OP, it seems to fit here.

I don't consider you that immature, John - take it easy. I just think of you as a blowhard sometimes.

It's cool.

Make all the vacuous statements you like.

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 52

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 6:46:21 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Again, I see lots of people giving reasons why they are out of shape. I just wonder why do we feel we (the general nonspecific we as a society) need to justify or explain our weight or fitness at all? Few of us give rationales for other physical traits. My natural hair color is a mousy brown and looks much better when I highlight it or color it. Often I do. When I do not, I don't go around apologizing for my hair or promising I will be more disciplined and highlight it more frequently in the future or justify not coloring it by explaining I couldn't afford it that month.

My theory is being overweight is still viewed as somehow being "bad." Bad behavior led to this. And when we are bad, we have some explaining to do.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 53

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 6:50:46 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

This whole matter is far too complicated to have any one answer.

Yes, some people do have conditions that make them overweight ... then again, if they have a condition that makes them that way, are they really overweight at that point?

Some people have some extra pounds and are fine with it. Who's to say they are overweight?

Some people have weight because they have issues, and some people have issues because they have weight. Who really knows whats up with all that ... probably unique to each person, one would imagine.

I used to be about 45 pounds overweight, and had a ton of issues. I lost the weight ... all of it. I was very proud to loose all that weight. That lasted about a month ... then all the issues showed up again. So now, instead of an overweight, insecure person that drinks too much, I'm a slender, much better looking, insecure person that drinks even more.

Even dating better looking guys sort of hits the wall, once you realize that a very high percentage of good looking guys are also good at being total tools.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 54

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:03:49 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Again, I see lots of people giving reasons why they are out of shape. I just wonder why do we feel we (the general nonspecific we as a society) need to justify or explain our weight or fitness at all? Few of us give rationales for other physical traits.

Hello there beautiful Sensualips,
That is exactly how I feel on the matter!
I don't have to explain a goddamn thing to anyone, even if he were buying my food, my clothes, or paying for my housing. If you look my way, and don't like what you see, simply look elsewhere. No one has a right to tell me how to feel because he disapproves, and anyone who does, will get it back, because one of the things I do in honoring myself, is only care for and love those who care for and love me back, and do my best not to give a flying phuck about all the negative jerkoffs in the world who feel it's their place to tell everyone else how they should look, and how they should feel about selves. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 55

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:12:00 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Are self-respect and body type now related issues somehow?

NO, they definitely are not, because I know plenty of younger, thinner, surgically enhanced people who have terrible self esteem and self worth.

quote:

Personally, I like women around sizes 9-16 or so. Women of those basic shapes have been the beauty ideal for centuries. Your Kate Moss types have only been appealing - and then only to some - for around 30 years or so
Beautiful people come in all shapes and sizes.

I just wanted to say Hot Damn when I read your post Chaingang; I think you are absolutely right. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 11/27/2005 7:13:10 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 56

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:21:48 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

Are self-respect and body type now related issues somehow?
NO, they definitely are not, because I know plenty of younger, thinner, surgically enhanced people who have terrible self esteem and self worth.[/size]

You have that right. Back when I worked on Madison Avenue, I had contact with a lot of models. Some were even quite smart but they were so terribly insecure about their looks that they frankly weren't any fun to be with. Once invited one to a RenFair up the Hudson, after a few minutes she retreated to the limo and got blasted on the bar to the amusement of the driver because she thought she heard a mosquito. "I might get a big ugly bite".

Don't even ask about their eating habits. Either they were no fun because they didn't eat or had another approach to dieting and at that time I did not have a cleaning lady for the guest bath the next morning.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 57

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:27:23 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ah......'the good old days....'

Vomitoriums,
another reason to keep it in the present tense, if possible...

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 58

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:29:32 PM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

quote:

NO, they definitely are not, because I know plenty of younger, thinner, surgically enhanced people who have terrible self esteem and self worth

Exactly!

If the only way you can feel good about yourself is creating the "perfect" body (which really isn't perfect at all) then to me that speaks of low self esteem not better. Would I like to be a few pounds lighter? Sure. But I am what I am and anyone who does like it can kiss my hairy ass, and yes it is a mighty hairy one and Im ok with that too

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 59

RE: Body Maintenance - 11/27/2005 7:48:04 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

What is the ideal? I don't know, but I know that Arnold Schwartzenegger was not satisfied with his body all his life, and spent his life working on it, and now, has the job of goverenor of californian, a wife that looks alot like teddy and a bad heart. Tell me that's as good as it gets.......

We can desire perfection, tolerate flaws, and just in general be humans.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 60

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