the unlikely domme... (Full Version)

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blueskyboy -> the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 7:57:01 AM)

wondering how many of you would fit this category...wild and strong like no one might suspect...privately creative and demanding and powerful....but publicly nerdy and socially awkward...slightly introverted...maybe a bit aloof...
do you feel funny wearing the domme costume?  are the boots and vinyl a  plagiarized male comic book fantasy in your mind...or a useful tool to transcend the nilla? 

be truthful and sincere...

is it about what it looks like - or what it is?   



LadyHibiscus -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 9:32:04 AM)

There's a dom COSTUME?  Shoot, sign me up!




chamberqueen -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 10:08:39 AM)

Doesn't fit me at all.  I am a leader in business, and for pleasure I don't do comic book costumes.  Sounds like you are describing a female Clark Kent.



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 10:15:39 AM)

I'm just as capable of dominating my boy in a tanktop and undies as I am in a catsuit, so why bother with the extra effort?  Unless I'm doing a stage performance or something, then it's a different matter.

I guess I'd be considered unlikely just because I don't think there's many Aspie Dommes out there.  I've been told in the past that being terrified of phone conversations and near inability to make eye contact is not very "dommelike" behavior.



stella41b -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 12:16:39 PM)

From what I can gather a woman being dominant is part of her inner nature, not a fashion statement.



JerryFrankster -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 12:30:12 PM)

Or it could just be a hobby.

It doesn't always have to be "SERIOUS BUSINESS".



Sylverdawn -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 12:45:13 PM)

Im betty homemaker.. I do like dressing up for a special occassion rarely. however generally Im a tee shirt and sneakers sorta good gurl, I am slightly introverted and I am socially shy until I know people. If some boy wants leather and chains he is living a fantasy that is only going to be met by paying someone to live it with him. I dont know a single lifestyle domme that wakes up Monday morning and slips into ballet boots and lace knickers and a corset.. D/s is about the little details of life, the cup of perfectly made coffee beside the bed so she wakes up pleased and relishing facing the day... the clothes laid out so that the days plans are taken into consideration.. and the pat on the ass that the sub gets for making things right for her.. it is so not about how made welts he has as a result of her desire to expend some loving attention on his ass the night previously.. and it is certainly not about what she is wearing whilst administering that attention.. she might do it naked, she might do it in flannel and she might given her desires and wishes do it in some fantasy costume to embellish the experience for herself and for him but mostly those costumes are uncomfortable, hot and decidedly her choice to endulge should she wish it.

Sd



lateralist1 -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 4:00:13 PM)

I'm very different depending who I'm with.
I'm a chameleon I suppose.
I like being naked as much as possible.
I like dressing up in different clothes.
But really for me it's just about being accepted for who I am at the time and being able to do what I want which is often a little bizarre for most people's tastes.
Human beings have such different notions of what is right and wrong. Morally and socially. I want someone who wants to please me and is prepared to learn how.
I don't think I'm that difficult to please but I have been told I am.



MzDeadlyRed -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/30/2008 7:28:55 PM)

I'm very much a nerd, a downright geek.  I also possess about as much grace as an elephant on roller skates.  I giggle and have 'duh' moments like you wouldn't believe.  Even if I could wear the stiletto high heel boots, I wouldn't be able to walk in them, much less take command of a 'scene' without falling flat on my face.  I am very much the unlikely Domme, if one were to gauge this by outer appearances!



blueskyboy -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 3:54:07 AM)

yep princess...there is a costume...believe me - almost a uniform....get one with no training too :) sometimes you need baby powder to get in it though...some great irony in that but i can't put it together [:)]

and jerry you are right...this can just be taken way too seriously...oh my you should see the threatening emails i am getting from the fetish wear industry...and their customers...mostly the customers ...some serious people read in this forum

and it was just the random musing of a nobody/dummy

somehow accidently plowed a little too close to the corn i think

thanks to all though...i am listening -

one can smile and listen...:)    



mllenoir -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 5:17:23 AM)

Hey there,

I joined CM last night.

I am that person you are talking about...I am naturally dominant. In a quiet way. I am kind and reserved, but I think that when everyone wants a piece of you...that reservation is powerful.

Elegance is refusal.



NumberSix -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 5:25:43 AM)

In the wistful sense I think ALL Dommes are unlikely as are all other D and s thingies, at least in popular imaginination.

In the workaday world, the ones that tell you to get something handled because they have this vision of the way things aught to be, and when you dont, and you know you are in for some pretty rude fuckin' consequences if you don't......

that is more of what occurs than the daily 3 hour dressing in 85 inch stilletto heels costuming pagent so that they may do the fandango on you as in, "She was the dancer, I was the stage..." sort of thing.




LadyJulieAnn -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 7:23:44 AM)

People can sense I am confident and can be assertive, but unless they know this side of me, I doubt they would expect me to be a Domme (or even know what a Domme is).  I love my fetish wear, and it does help me to get into my Domme mode at times.  At other times, I just do it.

LadyJulieAnn



blueskyboy -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 7:53:52 AM)

wow...the three responses above mllenoir (elegance is refusal) very nice ...numbersix, spot on and Lady Julieanne...well...that's one of the most sincere and real responses to anything i have read...

thanks   



AAkasha -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 8:32:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NumberSix

In the wistful sense I think ALL Dommes are unlikely as are all other D and s thingies, at least in popular imaginination.

In the workaday world, the ones that tell you to get something handled because they have this vision of the way things aught to be, and when you dont, and you know you are in for some pretty rude fuckin' consequences if you don't......

that is more of what occurs than the daily 3 hour dressing in 85 inch stilletto heels costuming pagent so that they may do the fandango on you as in, "She was the dancer, I was the stage..." sort of thing.




This is a very inaccurate stereotypte and a dangerous one to throw out to sub men who may be looking for hints in real life.  The reality is that there is ZERO relevance between a woman's outward bitchiness and bossiness to her bedroom or intimacy personality, or her ability to be a femdom.  If you don't believe me, ask the droves of submissive men than married a woman with this personality, hoping it transfered to the bedroom, only to find out she only wanted missionary position and refused to even talk about anything kinky.  Bitchiness and controlling behavior only indicates one thing - a probable inflexibility when it comes to sexual games.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard the story of a man who courted a lady with this personality because he thought for sure it means she'd be controlling in the bedroom or in a playful way, and these ladies are often the least interested in anything deviating from the norm.
Akasha



redgoddess2007 -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 8:39:03 AM)

Let us not forget that at times a womans assertive, bitchy, bossy, demanding (whatever label suits ya), is oft times a signifier of the opposite behind closed doors. Most would never guess that I am submissive....



LadyHibiscus -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 10:03:23 AM)

Believe me, the fetish wear industry, and several custom corsetmakers, made some house payments from my purchases!   I love to play dress up---but it's just dress up.  The clothes don't make the dominant, thank goodness.



Sylverdawn -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 10:38:29 AM)

I love my corsets as well.. but I do them for me not because that meets the ideal of a submissive.. thats my point. That dressing is something that is personal and if a side benefit is that the submissive I am with gets off on it and it heightens the experience for them so much the better but that plays no part in my decision to dress up or not.

SD



LadyHibiscus -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 10:41:12 AM)

A sub who sees me come into the room in one of my short nightgowns with nothing underneath is going to have a way better time than the one who sees me dressed to the nines in the Catherine Coatney gear.  Just sayin' [:)]



OriginalStuff -> RE: the unlikely domme... (8/31/2008 11:12:32 AM)

Damn and here that lady that sold Me the black "S&M" T-shirt said it was part of the uniform!  So if You find the uniform store, make sure You get in writing that it is inded the "real" uniform!

To answer the OP:

I am Me, at all times, in all of lifes uniforms, in all settings.  It isn't an outfit I put on and say "Look at Me, queen Dommes".  Umm no. Doesn't work that way.  The day someone see's Me in a "Mistress Mandy" costume, is the day pj will probably have the nice men in white coats on the way to the house. 

Not saying there is anything wrong with dressing as anyone wishes, but those that think it's a requirement can just continue to live in the comic book pages and leave Me alone.  Anyone that feels that a Dommes is only a Dominant when dressed in any fashion needs to look at their real reasons for being here. 

OS



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