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Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 9:35:13 AM   
tightropes


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Is it possible to be a Domme at 19 years of age?  I’m in no way trying to impose an age-based litmus test for being a dominant woman nor am I seeking to disrespect the younger generation.  (I’m sure many would consider me too old for a Ds relationship.)  But I’ve noticed that there is a plethora of very young dominant women among the most recently posted CollarMe dominant women profiles in California.  Many appear to be women looking for financial support but, either which way, I ask whether a 19 or even 22 year old has the maturity, life experience or emotional baggage to be venturing out in search of submissives.  I firmly believe that someone seeking a Ds relationship, particularly in the dominant role, needs first to mature and establish self discipline and self control in her (or his) own life before venturing forth in search of that relationship and I question whether a 19 year old has reached that level, even if she thinks she has.  What do you think?
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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 9:43:43 AM   
Lynnxz


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I think you should look at it on a case by case basis, rather than applying sweeping generalizations.

Keep in mind, a lot of the bikini clad, slightly out-of-focus young girls on the other side, have a tendency to be scammers/fake profiles.


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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 9:47:28 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tightropes
Many appear to be women looking for financial support


I think you answered your own question right there.


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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 10:34:26 AM   
DarkSteven


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"Wiadom comes with age.  Or age comes alone.  You never know." - Unknown

IMO most teenagers are not mature enought to be a Dom/me. But then again I know a 17 year old who has skipped two grades of school, is taking premed, is responsible for keeping her adopted family emotionally together, and whom I trust completely.  Depends on the individual, but for the most part I agree with you.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 11:13:33 AM   
aravain


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Like others have said... I know a Domme who is just now turning 21 in a month, but she's considered herself one since I met her back when we were both 18! She's very talented... and, quite honestly, an amazingly good one.

She actively practices (either on herself, or inanimate objects) the use of all of her toys (especially her whips) before she even thinks of using them on a human being and to keep her skills up. She's amazing in her technique (I know first-hand).

On the emotional aspects... well... lets just say she's even better.

I'd also hazard my own opinion forward... I don't think that maturity matters so much as dedication and self-control (and yes, there is a difference).

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 11:20:39 AM   
AAkasha


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At 19 I was a domina-machine, getting my clutches onto any male victim I could find.  It was a wonderful time period as I was learning the tools of seduction and how the male mind works. 

However, I was dominating men who were age-appropriate for me, very selective about partners (chemistry, mutual interests) and was not asking anyone for money. If you are sure the ladies are interested in you for who you are, then I think it's absolutely realistic to think that a woman at 19 can be a very effective dominant woman.

Remember, though, that a young femdom with experience relative to her age probably isn't equipped with a dungeon-full of gear and a variety of highly intense or sexualized acts under her belt; at 19 I was very, very good at bondage, roleplaying and teasing & denial. I was not that into pain yet, or more intense humiliation, and I was experimenting via roleplaying many of the intense and nasty acts I'd do a few years later.

Akasha


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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 11:21:47 AM   
AquaticSub


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~Fast Reply~

I'm with the "case-by-case" crowd. Some can, some can't.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 11:34:39 AM   
MysticsLily


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Good afternoon,
 
I think that times are a'changing since when I first entered the lifestyle.  I came into BDSM in 1994 at the age of 18.  I started out as one of five girls in a BDSM household as the low end new slave girl.  My first Master (an older man and a college professor, and who I see as the wisest man I've ever met) recognized in me some potential and taught me (very in depth) in all manners of domination from the psychological aspect of dominating someone to how to use a huge variety of impliments.  He taught me about honor, integrity, keeping one's word, and about the level of responsibility inherent in owning a slave.  I submitted as a slave during that first year, learning about everything from both aspects, as one who experiences the physical and emotional intensity of being in slavery as well as learning how to create those intensities for those who are slaves.  I mentored at his feet for a year.  For my 19th birthday I got my first male slave.  I was with Master D for another year (until the age of 20) when traumatic happenings (a death) caused me to leave my first BDSM home and move forward with life. 
 
I don't think that there is that level of mentoring anymore.  Not with the birth of the internet and the loss of instructions on honor, respect and integrity - its not being taught by parents and teachers and small communities the way it was when I was growing up.   Could I have found my inner Mistress on my own at 18?  Probably not as quickly. 
 
There are very few people left willing to mentor a new dominant person.  The is so much ovewhelming information on the internet that learning alone becomes a mass of digital blogs and hundreds of opinions not one of which are the same.  Practicing for hours with a flogger on a pillow helps improve aim, but doesn't give a person the feeling of impact on skin, the experience of using sounds from a submissive to determine how to vary strength of the hit . . . I could go on. 
 
Yes there are alot of young girls looking to be taken care of and they think WIIWD will provide that.  But there is alot of that in every catagory - I've met 50 year old submissives that want the same thing.  Look at maturity level and willingness to listen and learn.   Youth is simply inexperience seeking education. I personally feel that with that experience, I have a responsibility to do something to help meet that need and so I have taken on several "newbs" over the years and helped to teach them the "ropes" if you will. 
 
As far as people between 18-21 not having life experience . . . by the age of 21 I had survived 12 years of child abuse (growing up), lost my slave/lover to death, survived rape,  gave birth to my first child, and a few others things that most people are lucky enough not to experience by the time they are 50.  My grandmother once told me I've lived three times more life than she has.   Maturity and life experience is not counted by numbers.  Its in the soul.  Pass up a woman because she is 19, and perhaps you have passed up the person that could have taught you something.
 
peace and light
 
Miss Lily
 
 

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 11:49:15 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I think you should look at it on a case by case basis, rather than applying sweeping generalizations.

Keep in mind, a lot of the bikini clad, slightly out-of-focus young girls on the other side, have a tendency to be scammers/fake profiles.


I'm with Lynnxz on this one...........

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 12:14:13 PM   
DesFIP


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Can a teenager be a sub? Does a 19 year old have the required life experience to know what they're getting into?

Basically I think what happens is you have a person with yearnings towards this who is attempting to try it out.

Everyone has to start somewhere or do you propose that they cannot act on their desires until age 25 at which point they will have magically acquired all necessary skills and knowledge? Were you above 18 when such desires originally hit you?

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 12:22:32 PM   
Lynnxz


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What boggles me, is when a 60 year old sub gets upset that there's no chemistry between him, and the 21 year old domme. 

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 12:57:42 PM   
sillyslaveboy


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Mmm... from my case i can say that actual age isn't of importance, while the age on which one realizes his/her orientation and the need to crystallize it does.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

What boggles me, is when a 60 year old sub gets upset that there's no chemistry between him, and the 21 year old domme. 

Now, i tend to believe the younger Ladies are less experienced and less aware of all possible consequences of edge play - where the youth pushes it all often. But then again, i can really imagine the turn-on of an old man, giving himself into hands of a teenage Goddess :) acting like almost no-limit slave. i can also imagine the turn-off he would feel in case it wasn't actually what he expected.

< Message edited by sillyslaveboy -- 8/31/2008 12:58:03 PM >


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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 2:59:14 PM   
Usako


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tightropes
I firmly believe that someone seeking a Ds relationship, particularly in the dominant role, needs first to mature and establish self discipline and self control in her (or his) own life before venturing forth in search of that relationship


And someone can't have that at 19? Because from the messages I get, there are men in their 50's that STILL don't have that.

As said before, case by case. Generalizing statements don't help.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 8/31/2008 4:37:23 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

What do you think?

I think that if a 19 year old wants to declare themselves Dominant and go in search of submissives...who the fuck am I to tell them they can't?

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/1/2008 3:19:05 AM   
rc4otkVA


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At 19, I was a Domme with 3 years of very active experience in the lifestyle. I began as a sub. I was trained to become a top, then took some psychology in college. I got lots of compliments. I was fairly mature for my age, but it's not impossible for a young person to be a good dominant.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/1/2008 3:57:27 AM   
iwearpanties


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i dont think its a question of how good a young domme is but dosent the say with practice you get better and with age wisdom?  i have sub to a younger Lady she enjoyed being able too tell and contorlan  older male even thought it was only 2 to 5 yrs older . you could see if gave her a sense of power and made her more confidance.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/1/2008 4:56:23 AM   
malloves69


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personally i  like the older ladys as mistresses  more in common with age being closer i think which adds to the chemistry you develop with her over time  young women might make good eye candy but it suxs when the bottom is more experienced then the top ..ecspecially if you are paying her ...plus young women have more nos and dont dos where the older woman is past the bs and much more comfortable with her body and sexual well being  like everything else sure there is a good one out there but i think the experience comes with age ..just my opinion of course ..have fun mal

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/1/2008 9:07:14 AM   
Lynnxz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: malloves69

personally i  like the older ladys as mistresses  more in common with age being closer i think which adds to the chemistry you develop with her over time  young women might make good eye candy but it suxs when the bottom is more experienced then the top ..ecspecially if you are paying her ...plus young women have more nos and dont dos where the older woman is past the bs and much more comfortable with her body and sexual well being  like everything else sure there is a good one out there but i think the experience comes with age ..just my opinion of course ..have fun mal


That's not a bad thing mal.




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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/3/2008 11:53:04 AM   
sleuthingsub


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Wow, deja vu.  This type of post seems to come up about once a month, and I find the question increasingly silly.   Haven't we all learned to judge others by their own personal merits and qualities rather than our preconcieved and uninformed generalizations?  In a great example of irony, it would seem that the one asking such a biased question as the OP would be rather immature his/herself.

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RE: Teenage Dommes? - 9/3/2008 6:27:48 PM   
silkenfire


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Really, age has little to do with it rather than experience, and the experience of the submissive. My best experiences have been with young people. Why? Because I like to play in my age range. However, the best experiences I have had have been from teenagers. Yes, I was a teenager myself, and I hope that that changes with time, but definitely I would not write someone off solely because of being too young.    

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