quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench
There's nothing wrong with that, pushing yourself to achieve perfection or to be pleasing, but who is the dominant in that situation?  The submissive who has the need to be obedient, is constantly the one punishing themselves, pushing themselves and striving to be such, or the person who simply gave a directive expecting it to be obeyed?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Generally, I find people who need to make sure there partner is "dominant" and need to make sure they are "not dropping the ball" by testing them are people who need to grow up, but of course, there might be some greater reason that I am missing to wrecking the enjoyable fabric of the relationship with a power struggle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
My dominance is something that "is" and girls either hear the music or they don't. The sheer fact that they are willing to please me and do what I want and the fact that I bring out that internal driving force in them is empirical evidence enough of that.

And if you were to test me, should I dominate you in your way in response? Administer the proper punishment for your disobedience that meets your criteria? Will you give me the "Dominant Stamp of Approval" or give me an "F" for not taking the proper "dominant" action? Bend me over your knee and give me a spanking for not properly expressing my dominance?

My usual response when I find someone purposefully playing these games, is to do the exact opposite of the response they are anticipating or looking for by attempting to manipulate me into "being dominant".

quote:

My usual response when I find someone purposefully playing these games, is to do the exact opposite of the response they are anticipating or looking for by attempting to manipulate me into "being dominant".

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Generally, I find people who need to make sure there partner is "dominant" and need to make sure they are "not dropping the ball" by testing them are people who need to grow up, but of course, there might be some greater reason that I am missing to wrecking the enjoyable fabric of the relationship with a power struggle.

Hmmm...

If I understand correctly a 'struggle' is like a game of rope pull. What you describe in your post isn't indicative of a 'struggle' though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench
Now the dynamic that I saw was submissives stating that they didn't need their dominant to show any form of dominance in order to know they were dominant.  I "just know" that my Dom/me is dominant, it's an aura about them, an energy, they inspire me, support me, motivate me... no they have never had to punish me, I would never do anything to make them want to punish me, I would feel too guilty or upset at myself for disappointing them... isn't that self regulation? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleWench

I hijacked my own "Being Bratty" thread with the following statement after seeing what I felt was an interesting dynamic appear...

How do you know if a Dom/me is actually capable of being dominant without having that reinforced?  Sure you meet, you are compatible, he tells you to do something, you do it.  That's compatability, not dominance and submission.  You're told to do something, and you do it, because you want to, because it's mutually beneficial to do so.

That paragraph caused that thread to become muddied and confused, however I feel it is a topic worthy of further discussion. 

Naturally I received comments like "Do you test your bank by bouncing checks, just make sure they hit you with that $35 overdraft fee?" but that is completely different, has nothing to do with personal interactions between two unknown entities or exploring the potential dynamic between two people that could eventually form a relationship.  A bank is a large body corporate with no personality that has rules in place that cannot be shifted by one individual, and if you break those rules (overdraft your account) then naturally you will face the consequences.  A person is changeable, shifting, moody, non-constant and entirely capable of changing their mind according to any given situation.

Now the dynamic that I saw was submissives stating that they didn't need their dominant to show any form of dominance in order to know they were dominant.  I "just know" that my Dom/me is dominant, it's an aura about them, an energy, they inspire me, support me, motivate me... no they have never had to punish me, I would never do anything to make them want to punish me, I would feel too guilty or upset at myself for disappointing them... isn't that self regulation?  Isn't that pushing yourself to be pleasing and obedient, rather than your dominant?  There's nothing wrong with that, pushing yourself to achieve perfection or to be pleasing, but who is the dominant in that situation?  The submissive who has the need to be obedient, is constantly the one punishing themselves, pushing themselves and striving to be such, or the person who simply gave a directive expecting it to be obeyed?

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
My dominance is something that "is" and girls either hear the music or they don't. The sheer fact that they are willing to please me and do what I want and the fact that I bring out that internal driving force in them is empirical evidence enough of that.

And if you were to test me, should I dominate you in your way in response? Administer the proper punishment for your disobedience that meets your criteria? Will you give me the "Dominant Stamp of Approval" or give me an "F" for not taking the proper "dominant" action? Bend me over your knee and give me a spanking for not properly expressing my dominance?

My usual response when I find someone purposefully playing these games, is to do the exact opposite of the response they are anticipating or looking for by attempting to manipulate me into "being dominant".

.  Once again, your wisdom shines through, MR.  Great points!
luci