RE: Communication vs. being right.

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RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 5:59:16 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Hello Missokyst:

I know you're responding to Icarys, but since your question exactly fits me, I thought I'd make a stab at it.

Why would I bother with a kinky tag if I'm already in the socially acceptable "vanilla" position?

A few reasons that I can think of.

How about, the grass is always greener for starters? You know, being fundamentally boring my whole life, maybe it's kind of cool to experiment with being not boring?

More importantly though, was that it took me a long time (yeah, ok, so much for me being smart) to get it. BDSM is kink. It wasn't immediately clear to me that the entire community was only distantly related to this wierd new thing that I was doing. There seemed to be a lot of similarities. My wife kneels to me. She obeys... much moreso than I'd expect from a "traditional wife". etc. etc. It wasn't an unreasonable thing to go with the M/s nomenclature before I realized that they were inextricably tied up in sexual activities.

So, I looked around, tried to understand what tags might help me to navigate while I was still dazed and confused, and applied them. Only in the last week did I figure out I was swimming in entirely the wrong pond. Despite my "grass is greener" thing, this confusion was the predominant reason why I chose a "kinky" tag for a vanilla thing.

Those, at least, are the two reasons that I personally ended up with misleading tags. It's all fixed now though. In public she's my wife now which I suspect communicates better. In private, we still use master/slave because... well... I like 'em probably for some sort of romantic fantasy reasons. And, given I'm HE WHO MUST BE OBEYED *laughs*... well... we use em.

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RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 6:23:37 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
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quote:

I have always been a nomad, a renegade, and more recently a
Non-sheeple.

actually you have those labels..so as much as one might want to "get away from it" you need it to explain yourself. Otherwise how else would you make a description.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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Post #: 42

RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 6:26:03 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I wonder.. do nilla people feel the need to label themselves? If they do, what sort of labels would they wear? Never having been nilla, I have no clue. Never having fit in, nomad, renegade, loner, ect.. was a label put on me by others, and it stuck.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

I have always been a nomad, a renegade, and more recently a
Non-sheeple.

actually you have those labels..so as much as one might want to "get away from it" you need it to explain yourself. Otherwise how else would you make a description.

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Post #: 43

RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 6:26:23 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Outstanding post stella.

the.dark.

I agree with you on this one, the.dark.
stella is on point.
It can be a cold, cold world inside and outside of our
little "community",
stella, have we told you lately you rock?

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Namaste'
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"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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Post #: 44

RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 6:28:24 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
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quote:

It wasn't an unreasonable thing to go with the M/s nomenclature before I realized that they were inextricably tied up in sexual activities.

This is a side note but did you just say they were tied up in sexual activities? Are you saying M/s is just sexual?

If so where did you get that from or how did you come to that conclusion?

That's of course if your talking to me or haven't got me on hide lol.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
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RE: Communication vs. being right. - 9/2/2008 6:37:12 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
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If they were placed on you then you have kept it going..you sited them to me.

Even the so called i don't fit category fits somewhere..we all do..I'm a nomad as well..all those things you spoke of and more. I'm sure you are more complicated than just 3 or 4 labels you used just now. as a person that identifies with those you stated i can understand the desire to place them down..but unfortunately you can't..you might think you can but you can't. Everyone fits in some box..even the ones who like to think and live outside of it.

Yes nilla's have them as well lol

< Message edited by Icarys -- 9/2/2008 6:39:37 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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Post #: 46