RE: Submissive and Slave.

RE: Submissive and Slave. (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 9:05:12 AM)
I have enjoyed each of there posts in the last few years I've been here.[:D]

sublizzie -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 9:39:11 AM)
~FR~ I self-identify as a submissive. I can handle being in charge of a project but I'd rather be the behind-the-scenes worker who takes the goal and makes it happen. If someone else has a plan and the directions on how to make it work so much the better. I may tweak things so it works better for me, but that's okay. This is not to say that I'm incapable of making a plan with directions. I'm great at creating recipes and writing them out so they are easy for other people to replicate. But in the larger picture, I prefer to have a piece to work on rather than be in charge of the entire thing. For example, I'm creating a menu and will do the cooking and serving of it for a non-profit organization next month. There are people who will be helping me do the cooking, serving, and clean up. But I'm not in charge of the entire event, just the food part of it. It is a way I can use my kink of cooking in a submissive/serving way to benefit a large number of people. BTW, I like labels. They help me know the basics about something in a can, jar, packet, book, box, or person. If the label on the outside is interesting enough, I'll look at the insides to see what is there. I also understand why someone might enjoy confusing the labels just for fun, but that drives me batty.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 9:48:20 AM)
Out of curiosity. What makes you self identify with submissive instead of slave.

persephonee -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 9:56:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Yes all true. I tend to search slaves in my area when i'm looking for a relationship based on what my beliefs are as to what a slave is anyway.. Actually i even narrow it down more and look in the profiles for one's that are Gorean and follow those philo's.(Just for the sake of debate). Taking out the people are people because i think that's just common sense, might anyone else do that or do you have the search wide open? ohkay....there are several things i see in this thread. i must admit that i stopped reading after page one. i see an honest question asked and immediatly dismissed to the search function which is typical on this board. i was sent to the dreaded search feature my first days here too. Once i unbunched my big girl panties and read around a bit, i realized that there was a reason i got shut down. Its been done to death to the extent that any mention of the following words with a "vs." in the middle could easily get you gunned down in your car...sub vs. slave....dom vs. master...you see where im going with this. Its the way it is. Please go search. Read what is out there. Formulate a question based on something unanswered in that context and then come back to the board with it and create the worlds best thread ever. i identify here as bottom...yaddayaddayadda you can totally read my posts on that one...i bore myself. i know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that i would be such a supercool slave that Mercnbeth would want me to move in next door...i know this because i have learned just where my limits are and just what makes me happy. For the right Master i would gladly give myself completely. i had no idea that this was the case until i realized it and would have never guessed it to be the case...ever. But it is. Please dont limit your search to slaves in your area because a label is a dangerous thing. i identify as bottom...youd never give me a second glance. For whatever reason that would be a good or bad thing...but im just saying that the sammiest girl in the world could be your uberslave....she just doesnt know it and neither do you cuz you skipped right over her. Peace and Pleather perse

IrishMist -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:03:22 AM)
quote: For whatever reason that would be a good or bad thing...but im just saying that the sammiest girl in the world could be your uberslave....she just doesnt know it and neither do you cuz you skipped right over her. So very true.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:16:36 AM)
If i had wanted to go to the search then i would have..i know where it is. I choose not to. Yes i'm sure in one form or another everything we have talked about in the last day or so has been talked about for years and years..Yet i'm still going to do it..Why? Because I want to. Now to the rest of your post..I do agree with you to some extent on why it might not be the best idea to narrow the search to a select few..except for the fact that's all i want is a select few. You may be that perfect slave for me but if you identify with that term there are good reason's as to why i won't look that way. I'm not saying i wouldn't give a girl a chance but there are differences in attitudes between the "Labels" that i see..that doesn't hold true for every single one but i still see some patterns. The truth is, I've had a few that self-identified as brats that weren't to my liking and i see some of the same things in others that identify that way as well..Most of the things they see as spirited or just having fun isn't that to me... Despite what people may get from my postings.i can and do see the rational in both schools of thought. On one hand i see that to describe a person wholely..one label just will never do..but to disregard them all and say your nothing but me is just as bad in my eyes. I enjoy the labels for some of the same reasons i enjoy this lifestyle..A plce where others know their own place..the talk i'm hearing lately sonds to me like nobody wants to or doesn't know where they belong...There is structure or at least the possibility of it. In my world there is a certain way to act when dealing with the opposite side of the kneel as some have put it.(protocol)..there is so much more but those are two.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:18:21 AM)
To me that's like looking for the needle in the wrong haystack..it's bad enough i gotta find the damn needle in all of that hay.[:D]

cpK69 -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:31:36 AM)
I identify as a pet, for two reasons. First, I am determined not to let others define me by their ideas of what a sub or slave are; as these concepts tend to be based on past experiences. Second, while I am capable of following the structure set before me by another, if it is not balanced or based on truth, its not happening. No matter how much I admire, and or, appreciate that person. Kim

colouredin -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:34:11 AM)
FR Simple reason I cant stand the connotations with slave and submissive to me is more vague so thats why, its not hugely important to me because every relationship creates a differant dynamic and the labels become insignificant, what one person calls a slave another doesnt we pick the label tht we like for whatever reason but no two people see it as the same way, so my reasons though simplistic are fine because its just a word and who cares

IvyMorgan -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:40:58 AM)
I identify in my profile as a submissive. I could identify as a switch, but when I do I get hoards of submales memoing me calling me goddess and asking how they can serve me. So I stopped doing that. Also, I'm not sure "switch" is the right word for me, yes I top, yes I like beating people and hurting them, but, it's normally in more of a "service" capacity... I'm never in control, and I see switch as both sides of the power/authority exchange as opposed to both sides of the flogger. I could identify as a slave, but I don't because I dont like the label for me. It works well for other people and they feel happy wearing it, but I don't. So, I'm a submissive, there aren't any options left. Also, I submit, on occasion, as a thing that I do, as part of my sex life. On even rarer occasions I submit outside of my sex life. I tend to think of myself more as a bottom now, but it took me a while to be comfortable with that label, being in charge of me is a new idea/thing smiles If I'm really, really pushed for a label, I'll go with "bi, poly, switch" because that's vague enough to encompass all the parts of me that may manifest at any given time. I do tend to try and avoid the label thing though. Because it leads to people making assumptions which may not be true, like handouts in class, people think they know when they don't.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:45:08 AM)
Words are important..with out them we would loose a big part of our abilities to verbally communicate. Try communicating without them and see how easy that is. i grunt at times anyway..so maybe i'd be okay..i have been called an ape man before..i even have an occipital bun if any would like to see it.[:D]

hopelessfool -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 10:53:53 AM)
I put myself as a submissive, because somehow the oxymoron of consenual slave, just doesnt ring in my book. I dont believe "slavery" is consenual, and I dont think its fair to equate the joy and happiness I get out of serving to the suffering and torture of others. Some who know me would call me a slave, that is their choice, Some others will call me a bottom, Some will call me a brat, some will call me Ms Kitty/Kitten. I dont know why, but they are free to call me as they wish. The reason many are saying dont lable or worry about the label, Is one mans slave, is another mans sub, and one mans sub, is another mans Domme. I dont like the term slave, this is my personal choice. I also found out I get less spam mail from Idiots demanding me to be on my knees and serve them, because I identify as sub not slave. The Only thing I recommend to you, is to switch back and forth now and again, because Im sure Im not the only person in the world that finds less junk mail, because they are "labeled" as sub instead of slave.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 11:19:38 AM)
Good post I do read the submissive profiles from time to time. If there is one that strikes me as interesting, i'll send an email. I would give you the same advice..Just maybe one of those that send an email looking for a "slave" might just find you.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 11:21:22 AM)
Why choose one over the other. Why doesn't if fit you?

colouredin -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 12:17:36 PM)
all i mean is that words like that are so subjective they loose meanin g, what i see as being a slave others dont, its not the same as and and if and therefore submissive and slave are totally subjective everyone creates their own meaning, i have explained why i chose my label i was simply stating that the labels dont mean the same to everyone

NuevaVida -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 12:55:44 PM)
I used to identify as a slave. I am no longer owned, therefore without a Master, and therefore (by my own set of thoughts on the subject) not a slave. I am also in the process of redefining what labels mean to me. What I used to believe slavery is, is now under question with me. As a result, I don't find either label all that useful to me. I am me. Period. I am an adult woman who would like to submit to the right man in an awesome relationship. The problem I ran into with my former "slave" label (and it was of my own doing) is I created this definition in my mind of what a slave is, and then I tried to fit myself to that, rather than to simply be me, regardless of what I thought a certain label meant. As a result, I caused myself some prolonged and undue hardship. I have no intention of doing that again. The end result is on my CM profile I listed myself as a submissive. But the truth is, whatever I am referred to as - submissive or slave - isn't all that important to me. It's more important for me to consider myself "happy."

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 1:05:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin all i mean is that words like that are so subjective they loose meanin g, what i see as being a slave others dont, its not the same as and and if and therefore submissive and slave are totally subjective everyone creates their own meaning, i have explained why i chose my label i was simply stating that the labels dont mean the same to everyone I do agree with that. What i'm trying to get across is that labels are everywhere and are needed. No one person identifies specifically with slave or submissive or any other label but it is a good place to start. I try to keep things simple.

Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 1:18:04 PM)
Very good post. I prefer to be with a female that knows her place in life and community..she owns the position she is in with confidence, not just her place but everything that goes with it. I tend to see what some here say as not owning up to your position. being wishy washy and not taking a stand or just not taking it all seriously enough for my taste. So i usually stay away from those kind. There is no guarantee that the way i think is going to get me the slave i am looking for..of course. I'll either get her or i'll do without. I have for years until recently so i can go another 7 years if i have to. beth is someone who i see as taking it seriously. That type of female. Hats off to you Merc.(the lucky Bastard.)

sublizzie -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 1:21:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Out of curiosity. What makes you self identify with submissive instead of slave. By identifying as submissive I had fewer people expecting immediate subservience, though I got plenty of those too. When I first signed up here I wasn't sure exactly what I was. I know better now but submissive works. Besides, I did a search of the Dominants on this site in my area and it didn't matter if I used slave or submissive in the search parameters, I still got the same guys looking. In reality I am much more slave than submissive but I wasn't sure of that until I met Santa. I thought I might be but it's become very clear in my interactions with him. Does that help?

Lynnxz -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 1:23:08 PM)
I used to identify as a submissive, then decided to call myself a switch so no one could call me a fake. [:D]

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