RE: Submissive and Slave. (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 4:38:57 PM)

It was a thoughtful post..thank you for it.
So the deeper reason for you is that you have been at the receiving end of bad labeling in your life. If i read that correctly. The label is just a tool..the people who use it badly are one's to look at.



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 4:41:17 PM)

service oriented females are the usual type that i associate with slaves. and my favorites i might add.

Thank you for the post. 



oceanwynds -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 4:50:49 PM)

It isn't per say the good or bad circumstances surrounding any label that been put on me. Personally i have had great respect in regards to these labels. i just find that they tend to seperate people from seeing deeper in you. i thank you for asking me though. Also am trying hard to not come off real judgemental on this. i always want to soar and be free, which is a vision i have had all my life, and pretty much lived by.
i trying to watch my words well tonight, it has been emotionally exhausting few weeks with watching my mom's health failing along with her memory.
i am fine with people who want to be recognize by whatever label they wish. As far as traits i would probably have both submissive and slave within me.



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 5:29:43 PM)

I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

I think most people with a rational head on them know that the labels are just the beginning of the person. People do however have similar traits in common at times when they choose a certain label for themselves. They've usually heard what a certain thing means from somewhere else and take that as their own..some change it to suit them but it still began from similar roots. So they can be used to for good and bad. I look for those that associate with slave because i'm looking for a certain type of female..now not all females will have a definition of slavery that i will agree with but the field is narrowed a bit. yes i may miss the slave that has labeled herself as submissive.

I appreciate your comments.



catize -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 5:57:24 PM)

quote:

  This is going to be a simple post[:D]. Tell me why you identify as sub or slave. What made you pick either or in the profile?  


The simple answer is that the 2 main men in my life identify as dominant, not master, therefore I am submissive, not slave. 
R. and I tried an m/s dynamic for awile but eventually reverted to d/s. 



littlewonder -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 6:15:43 PM)

I  chose slave because that's what I am to Him....his slave...he is my Master. He says, I do. I obey..always..not just when I feel like it, not when I don't say a safeword, not only during sex...any and all times. There is no time out.



califsue -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 6:28:40 PM)

I think my profile identifies me as a submissive however in my current relationship I am Master's slave. I wasn't looking to be one just turned out that way.



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 7:06:55 PM)

I wanted to say, to all, that i appreciate the answers that were given. Thanks for taking the time.

I got exactly what i wanted out of it.



JewAndCelt -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/3/2008 7:09:09 PM)

My reply may be a bit confusing. My husband is the better word crafter in the family.

When I started actively seeking in this "lifestyle" (I hate that title too) I identified as submissive. I did this because my very limited knowledge led me to believe that a slave had no limits. Since I have very strong (non crossing, deal breaking, gonna have to have counseling afterward) limits, this title did not apply. I now believe that 'slave' or 'submissive' are just words one uses as they see fit. There are no rules and regulations for using these words.

After a while I shunned these titles except here on collarme because they don't have a title here to fit me. I shunned them because I felt that they limited me and placed me in a tiny little corner. I'm more than just one little word. Another reason is that I got really tired of having the word tossed at my face everytime I refused to submit to some wandering Dom on here. If I didn't reply to a message or agree to a first meet quickly enough for his taste I was deemed 'not submissive' and a fake.

Now the only title I care about are the ones he gives me. I'm his wife, his lover, his best friend and his submissive, his pet, his slut, his babygirl and his everything.

So at the end of the day I'm really okay without a title. Vanilla women walk around eveyday without a title and they do just fine. I couldn't even begin to give myself a title if I had to. All I can say is that I'm his and so very proud to be.

_Her



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 5:00:09 AM)

Everyone uses titles. I would think that's fairly clear based on how our societies as a world is setup. We need labels in order to make it easier for us to communicate and describe what it is we are talking about.

As a young person, I was very rebellious and wild. I hated titles as well and any word that tried to control me or fit me into a box.( Especially conform) As i got older, I realized that was immaturity to a degree and part was a spirit to be free. I think we as humans have it hardwired to push against things that restrain us.(Evolution if you believe in that..I know i do)..so what i was looking for was hint of this in some of the answers.

And the fact that i just wanted to know what some of the reason were..

Of course this was on a really small scale but i was curious. I actually picked up on a few things i think. You can't learn the whole person from a monitor but it can be a window into the person through their words.

Thank you all,
Icarys





oceanwynds -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 6:01:40 AM)

Thank you Icarys for your comment about my mom.
Yes, many of your comments make a lot of sense. Reality is that labels are us, but it is nice to mix and match our labels to see how they blend. True i would have more in common with people of similiar labels, however i try to not be blinded by them.

blessings
oceanwynds



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 6:09:00 AM)

I agree absolutely.



leadership527 -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 7:01:26 AM)

OK, 3 answers Icarys, although as always, I'm not sure that any answer of mine applies here.

Between us, I identify mine as "slave" for the simple reason that she has submitted without boundary. 
Publicly, she is "wife" because the bdsm label carries too many connotations beyond the simple aspect of the authority dynamic. 
In her own head, she is none of these things.  Internally, she's just a woman who loves her husband and is doing the best she can to please him.  I'm pretty sure that's more or less the beginning and end of it in her head.  She would be whatever pleased me... if I wanted a kinky, masochistic pain slut, that's what she'd be given a few months to grow into it.  I think that she could happily occupy pretty much any s-type role I've read on these boards so long as it included a strong dose of being loved somewhere in the relationship.

That, by the way, really really confused me when I first collared her.  I waffled back and forth in my own head between two thoughts... "She doesn't really want this, she's just doing it to please me."  and "This is the definition of submission, she will do whatever she can to please me."  *laughs*.



Icarys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 7:45:10 AM)

Sure your answers apply here. I started with two but welcome whatever input someone might add on any of the comments i've had.

Thanks for your post.

One of the points i was trying to get across was reiterated in a way by oceanwynds.
"Reality is that labels are us, but it is nice to mix and match our labels to see how they blend. True i would have more in common with people of similar labels, however i try to not be blinded by them."

I put just enough stock in them to respect that they are needed but not so much that i believe it encompasses all that a person is. They are all around whether a person accepts them as their own or not. For me..just a simple guide to get me going in a certain direction. Not in my mind to be turned away from.

I personally believe there are deeper reasons for everything we do. If a person makes a choice to accept or not to accept a label isn't really what i care most about..i want to know the reason behind the decisions. The real meaning. That tells me more about who the person really is, where they have come from and where they want to go.



monywildcat -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/4/2008 10:31:09 PM)

Here's my label:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

But, in all seriousness, while the OP can search and search some more and find a plethora of posts on this very subject, the OP would only get past responses.  Reposting a topic now and again would probably get some "fresh" input, that's my two cents anyways. 

So, as for what I chose and why?  Well, I identify as a submissive personality because that is what I do.  It's as naturally as breathing.  Ask Daddy, when he was in my home full-time he didn't have to lift a finger.  My thoughts before actions are done, words are spoken, are "would this make him happy/pleased/turned on/relaxed/whatever positive there is".  I strive to please in every aspect of everyday life.  I am not a slave, however, because I think of  "slave" as a horse of a different color.  Now, I haven't given the "slave" dynamic much thought, and I haven't been around too many of the horses of that different color, so I don't have much of a point of reference.  I just don't think that jibes with who I am. Now, if I am interacting with another woman, I tend to want to be the dominant, aggressive persona.  Figure that one out.   



MistressDollys -> RE: Submissive and Slave. (9/5/2008 6:46:58 PM)


I identify with the word slave but only in my relationship to my Mistress. At other times, like at work i am usually the one in charge. In this forum i am the slave because it best relates how i feel in relationship to my Mistress.

mule no.2




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