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RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:22:52 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

yes... I am very much aware that there are different dynamics.... but that doesn't mean that we can't learn from them just the same.


Enlighten me please, what would a submissive know of being a slave???

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:58:57 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		Okay, I gave some people a little time to get their responses in, but alas I think we should bring this back to the land of the OP. My original Post was:


First, thanks to everyone who has posted thus far and her is the original OP:

quote:

I have a question for you all. If you have a collared slave, but she is not living with you, but is fully committed to you, how long would you go without intentionally communicating with her? In example, phone, email, text, or visiting. Also what would be the purpose of not communicating with her? Would it serve an educational or punishment purpose?

While I make it a point to "touch" my property everyday, I have come to understand that this might be more normal than I would have believed so I am trying to get my head around its use as a tool to train a slave.


Keep in mind, I geared this question for those that are slaves. I understand that submissive may wish to interject, but I was really looking at from the standpoint of a slave.

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 8:59:37 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

yes... I am very much aware that there are different dynamics.... but that doesn't mean that we can't learn from them just the same.


Enlighten me please, what would a submissive know of being a slave???


Earlier you said you were speaking from a slaves perspective. What could a Master know of being a slave? And are you saying that slaves arent submissives?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:02:31 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

Okay, I gave some people a little time to get their responses in, but alas I think we should bring this back to the land of the OP. My original Post was:


First, thanks to everyone who has posted thus far and her is the original OP:

quote:

I have a question for you all. If you have a collared slave, but she is not living with you, but is fully committed to you, how long would you go without intentionally communicating with her? In example, phone, email, text, or visiting. Also what would be the purpose of not communicating with her? Would it serve an educational or punishment purpose?

While I make it a point to "touch" my property everyday, I have come to understand that this might be more normal than I would have believed so I am trying to get my head around its use as a tool to train a slave.


Keep in mind, I geared this question for those that are slaves. I understand that submissive may wish to interject, but I was really looking at from the standpoint of a slave.



You didnt give us anything here. You are not our Master. You cant control us or the way the thread weaves itself. sorry.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:09:49 PM   
MizzPainAndJoy


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		All I can say is, ummm, wow.  Firstly This thread was written to Master's inquiring on using non-communication as a punishment, without first even saying "Slave I am punishing you by not talking." and then it got hijacked and so very off track.

I want to say sorry to the OP whom it seems had a well intentioned question; and a few comments whose controversial/offensive nature could be argued for millenia but appear to have been harmless mishaps on his part; or misinterpretations on the parts of the reader.

IF you are being punished by the lack of communication then that needs imho, to be explained before the punishment is begun. The slave/sub should know the reason that she/he is being punished and that in fact the Dominant's intent is to show disapproval, disappoint, and or to correct some undesirable behavior. Or maybe it is the Doms purpose to calm down about the issue and reconvene with his/her slave/sub when they are better able to handle their own emotions and thus not go over board on a physical form of punishment and cause unintentional harm.

I would say that such a form of punishment would not be viable or valid used frequently or used for longer than at most two weeks, depending on the nature of the "crime" and the nature of the relationship. IF we were talking every day and seeing each other frequently a two week period would be a harsher and harder punishment, and maybe as a sub/slave it would be more time away than I could deal with. If we were seeing each other maybe every weekend or every other weekend and had a mostly LDR then it would be a little lighter and maybe easier to deal with, again imho.

Just up and going away, not taking the time to write or text or say a short sentence of I need some time, or I am very upset about "X" and think a week should be spent out of contact with each other to reflect, or similar; would not be punishment it would be extreme torture; again depending on the depth and nature of the relationship just how much so, and it would constitute abandonment in my book.

I recently had a guy do this to me, while I was neither a slave to him, or really committed as his at all. It still hurt because I had *Stupidly* and *sillily* ( Yes I know it's not a word, and I don't care!) layed my heart on the line... a mistake that I'd like to think I have learned from. He did it I believe to avoid having to "break-up" and out of cowardice. I know it wasn't punishment because there were no rules, etc, as we were really barely dating. . .I can't imagine though letting someone back into my heart or life who just left for two weeks or longer let alone months, with no explanation or warning of it being punishment. 

I don't know if that helps or not, but it is my thoughts on the subject you asked.

lemmebe.



(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:14:27 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Thats weird. Your profile says you are a dominant but you are speaking on behalf of slaves and again, not what the OP asked for. I doubt he will take your opinion as it doesnt fit in to his criteria.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MizzPainAndJoy)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:19:57 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

You didnt give us anything here. You are not our Master. You cant control us or the way the thread weaves itself. sorry.


For a woman who has close to 3500 threads, I cant believe you haven't heard of thread high jacking. This conversation is so far off the OP it's silly and yes there is that word again.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:20:48 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

I would love to hear the difference between acceptance and surrender in your words.


Mad,

I think I might have blown by your post initially, my apologies.

I provided that already in one of the responses to KnightofMists but here it is in brief format and I will try to expand upon it:

quote:

At that very moment she believes in this man and places her trust in him, she accepts by agreeing to obey him.

This is typically at the beginning of M/s relationship. Actually probably any D/s relationship, She has enough information to understand that she wishes to give herself to this man as she has gotten to know him over time, but the reality is she is still holding herself in slavery. She could easily leave at any moment and walk out the door.

quote:

It is over this time that she will become internally enslaved


This is where the slave has released herself completely to her Master, and her slavery is now held by the Master. Even if she wanted to leave for whatever reason in time, the hold on her that the Master has is so great she cant. In the right hands this is a beautiful accomplishment, but there is a discussion over on the Gorean boards right now that is talking about abuses that can occur at this level.

Even if she is able to walk out, the chains that held her are so tight that it may take years for her to feel fully released and become functional again.

I hope this answers your question.

Aramis


So where does an M/S relationship based off service and ultimate authority with no focus on an emotional bond fit in this "two dynamics for all M/S" deal?

quote:


quote:

I had no idea that the emotional state that drives slaves in their own relationships could be so easily quantified into Bucket A "Acceptance" and Bucket B "Surrender".


Mad, there isn't a fine line when the transference occurs. It happens gradually. I would be curious to know what your experience has been?


Your talking about two different states in one type of dynamic. Previously, you were talking about two different dynamics that all M/S relationships fall into.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:22:06 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

yes... I am very much aware that there are different dynamics.... but that doesn't mean that we can't learn from them just the same.


Enlighten me please, what would a submissive know of being a slave???


Now that one was funny.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:22:09 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

And are you saying that slaves arent submissives?


No you silly pot stirring woman I am saying submissive aren't slaves and wouldn't know the first thing about being a slave now would they?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:23:16 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

Okay, I gave some people a little time to get their responses in, but alas I think we should bring this back to the land of the OP. My original Post was:


Aww, geez. I missed the time limit. Does that count against my final score?


_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:23:42 PM   
MizzPainAndJoy


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I missed this entire page which is too bad, here I thought Aramis, not my Master, and therefore not getting titled such, was a well-intentioned guy.. I think I'd like to post saying...whooops my bad.

What would a submissive Know about being a slave? Firstly half or more of us when we discovered the lifestyle had to figure out where the HELL We put our check marks, were we in the Slave box or the submissive box. Imagine not only having to decide if you Topped or Bottom, but just how far bottoming you were willing or interested in going. I am not easily offended, well... most of the time anyway.

But I Take much offense in being dismissed as knowing nothing of being a slave.  Travel my road, lest you judge just where my road may or May not have taken me.
Most of us "submissives" have either been treated as slaves and found it distasteful, or deeply researched the difference between being a submissive and being a slave, so that we knew how to properly Identify ourselves.  IS not a box still a rectangle? IN SUCH Can not both (Should geometric shapes have thoughts and feelings) KNOW and intuitively guess, JUST how the other might feel (ON SOME THINGS) Oohhh, I Do believe they can.

AGAIN I apologize for trying to stand up for the bad-guy here. Yes ARAMIS, I do mean you. (again, Not my Master *Thank God <if there even is one>*)

lemmebe.



(in reply to MizzPainAndJoy)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:24:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

You didnt give us anything here. You are not our Master. You cant control us or the way the thread weaves itself. sorry.


For a woman who has close to 3500 threads, I cant believe you haven't heard of thread high jacking. This conversation is so far off the OP it's silly and yes there is that word again.



Its your thread its going in the direction of your answers. We are responding to what your comments are. As an expert at EVERYTHING I would expect you to know that.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:25:18 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

And are you saying that slaves arent submissives?


No you silly pot stirring woman I am saying submissive aren't slaves and wouldn't know the first thing about being a slave now would they?


Aww, things are so simple at your desk on the Internet.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:26:30 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

So where does an M/S relationship based off service and ultimate authority with no focus on an emotional bond fit in this "two dynamics for all M/S" deal?


Acceptance

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:28:09 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

And are you saying that slaves arent submissives?


No you silly pot stirring woman I am saying submissive aren't slaves and wouldn't know the first thing about being a slave now would they?


Wow for a non-judgemental guy you are name calling quite a bit, arent you? I dont mind. Those who know me here nI am am not silly and its not your position to label me even if you think you control it all!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:28:11 PM   
MizzPainAndJoy


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		LOL::: F*** I did a Boo-boo. Here check lemmebeYourMine out... I thought i could switch screens and avoid this, but obviously not.

I agree with you though luciouslips; He won't take me or anyone else who isn't Slave or Master seriously... we just don't know how anyone else could think or feel; though somehow we should believe he knows what a Slave feels and thinks like.

I dont even think it would matter if I had posted under my submissive profile.



(in reply to MizzPainAndJoy)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:28:53 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

yes... I am very much aware that there are different dynamics.... but that doesn't mean that we can't learn from them just the same.


Enlighten me please, what would a submissive know of being a slave???


Maybe I can help.  I was a slave for four years  Now I am unowned, and consider myself a submissive, until such time I might have a Master again.  Therefore, I could tell you a lot about being a slave, even though I currently am not a slave.

Getting to your OP, however, I can share my perspective, which may be very different from other slaves' perspectives.  I have experienced extended time without contact from my Master.  I did not run amok, nor did I feel abandoned because of it.  The reasons for my feeling abandoned had to do with the fact that I was emotionally starving and no longer thriving.  The result of this was to cause me to begin to whither and become very depressed.  I did not and I still do not find this to be "silly."  I find it to be a human emotional response to feeling ignored and uncared about.  Whether or not my feelings were tied to truth did not change what my emotional response was.  Just as I have a responsibility for the care and feeding of my owned cat, I strongly believe an owner of any pet - human or otherwise - has a responsibility for its care and feeding, in this case, emotional.  Unexplained lack of communication or contact does not contribute to such care and feeding; it deters from it.

Now that I am an "unowned slave" (for lack of a better term), I am not running amok or feeling helpless or lost and confused.  I miss my former Master like crazy, but I am utilizing the skills he and I both taught me and relying on my own wisdom, intelligence and strength to move forward with my life. 

Oh, and for what it's worth, it was that extended time away which ultimately destroyed our relationship, leaving me to question my own fortitude, loyalty and sense of commitment.  But if your pet starves it suffers and eventually meets its demise.  What might cause one slave to emotionally starve might be different than another.  But eventually, if a person is not fed, the person ceases to thrive. 

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:33:43 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

So where does an M/S relationship based off service and ultimate authority with no focus on an emotional bond fit in this "two dynamics for all M/S" deal?


Acceptance


And that's an incredinly narrow-minded way of looking at it. Your basically attempting to shove all different kinds of relationships with their own unique motivations, intentions, and purposes under these two labels you have created for the One True Way of an M/S relationship which is either the abscense of co-dependance or it's prescense. What your missing is that these two stages you have created don't fit the bill or do justice in communication because co-dependance isn't always the goal of the M/S or D/S relationship.
 
Not to mention, your description of "Internal Enslavement" belongs in fantasy land.



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 9:33:59 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

But eventually, if a person is not fed, the person ceases to thrive.


Well thank you and I am sorry you had to go through this. This is exactly the thing I wanted to get to. Recently I have known several Master's who have tried, to utilize this tactic as a form of control or punishment and I believe it has the adverse effect.

Thanks for sharing this.

Aramis

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 100
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