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Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/3/2008 10:52:06 PM   
CountrySong


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I have a friend who I might eventually grow close enough to partner with. The problem is that she has two STD's HPV (genital warts) and HSV (herpies). I'm STD free but if we do partner I know I will eventually catch them.

I know a few people who have gotten STD's from partners and they where not happy about it. I know one person who willingly took on an STD and he is happy and they have a great relationship.

Has anyone ever loved someone enough to take on their STD and how did it work out?
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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 1:14:30 AM   
BiteGirl


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The genital warts should be gone within 18 months of its infection

and the herpese (sorry, spelling), can be controlled by medications.

Why dosn't she take the meds for it to keep it under control and stop it spreading to you and also wait until her outbreak of warts has fixed itself up?

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 2:14:53 AM   
camille65


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BiteGirl

The genital warts should be gone within 18 months of its infection

and the herpese (sorry, spelling), can be controlled by medications.

Why dosn't she take the meds for it to keep it under control and stop it spreading to you and also wait until her outbreak of warts has fixed itself up?



Yup the genital warts can be treated.
However herpes can be spread easily even when medicated and no symptoms are showing. That one is a risk but if you are careful it can be minimized. I was with a guy who had herpes and we simply took care to not be active during his flare ups. Between flare ups we still used condoms. I never caught the herpes but I knew it was a risk.

I see life as a risk in many ways. So I balanced in my mind, the worth of being with this person vs the chance of contracting herpes which is lifelong. I chose the relationship and I'm glad I did.

On the genital warts, I really really suggest she go get treated. Maybe you can go with her and discuss the risk of herpes with her doctor? Honestly I'd rather have the information from someone in the medical field over a bunch of forum people (despite how wonderful we all are )


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 3:16:22 AM   
lusciouslips19


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Among those ages 15-49, only one in four Americans HAS NOT had a genital HPV infection.

It's true that most often genital HPV produces no symptoms or illness, and so a person who has been infected may never know about it. Experts estimate that at any given time, only about 1% of all sexually active Americans have visible genital warts. There is no testing for men. Most likely you already have it. HSV1 and 2 are skin conditions. Many contract HSV1 during childhood. Did you ever think it was a big deal when one of your friends growing up had a cold sore? So why the stigma with HSV2? Know why? If you turn it into a big deal than drug companies can make their billions of dollars.

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 3:21:08 AM   
simpleplan2


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Camille and Bite Girl are spot on.  She needs to get treated for the warts and you both need to get as well informed as you can about herpes.  Only then can you make an informed decision.  Good luck

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 5:33:25 AM   
gypsygrl


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I don't understand your reasoning here.  What makes you think you are destined to get these conditions just 'cause your partner has them? 

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 6:17:12 AM   
GreedyTop


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My first thought was what if someone decided to not take the precautions, knowing their partner had an STD, contracted it, and then they broke up?

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 6:46:03 AM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CountrySong

I have a friend who I might eventually grow close enough to partner with. The problem is that she has two STD's HPV (genital warts) and HSV (herpies). I'm STD free but if we do partner I know I will eventually catch them.

I know a few people who have gotten STD's from partners and they where not happy about it. I know one person who willingly took on an STD and he is happy and they have a great relationship.

Has anyone ever loved someone enough to take on their STD and how did it work out?



Might I suggest you march yourself down to a health clinic and talk to a person who deals with STDs. It seems to me you appear to have a few misconceptions and by discussion with a health care worker they will clear these up. You''ll learn about genital warts (HPV) and HSV, their nature, severity of infectiousness and methods to keep yourself healthy and realtively STD free.


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 9:06:15 AM   
Missokyst


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1 in 4?  DAMN I am still a freak!


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Among those ages 15-49, only one in four Americans HAS NOT had a genital HPV infection.

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 9:30:23 AM   
GreedyTop


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but thats part of your charm , Kyst ;) 

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 10:04:06 AM   
variation30


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CountrySong

I have a friend who I might eventually grow close enough to partner with. The problem is that she has two STD's HPV (genital warts) and HSV (herpies). I'm STD free but if we do partner I know I will eventually catch them.

I know a few people who have gotten STD's from partners and they where not happy about it. I know one person who willingly took on an STD and he is happy and they have a great relationship.

Has anyone ever loved someone enough to take on their STD and how did it work out?



doesn't hpv eventually clear itself up?

but yeah, herpes would suck.

It's a bit of a leap of faith your making...I've never been in the situation of being with someone and knowing I was going to get an std but I have taken that risk (unprotected sex).

there are always going to be costs to a relationship...just hope your foresight is 20/20 on this one.


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 10:05:45 AM   
SweetDommes


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HPV is a virus just like herpes - it's the one that certain strains cause cervical cancer.  It can be treated, but about the only way to get rid of it is to remove sections of the infected area - and even that doesn't always work.

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 10:06:21 AM   
variation30


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

My first thought was what if someone decided to not take the precautions, knowing their partner had an STD, contracted it, and then they broke up?


the response would be something along these lines:

"whoops"


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 11:06:25 AM   
mistoferin


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As has been said, HPV is treatable and in most cases, depending on the strain, resolves itself. Actually, most people who have it don't even know they have it. I'm not aware of a test for this for men who have no symptoms and most strains produce no visible or palpable warts.

As for herpes, I know of a woman who is 70 years old who was diagnosed with genital herpes. She had never had a prior outbreak in her life and neither has her partner....or if she ever did have one it was not of enough significance to notice. The reason she experienced the outbreak now was that her overall health was compromised and that can trigger an outbreak. She was shocked and disbelieving...but her doctors assured her that the herpes virus can live dormant forever in your body without ever causing a symptom. Again, many people who have it have no idea. 

Would I allow an STD to interfere in a relationship that I thought would prove to be the love of my life? That would depend on the STD, it's treatability, it's preventability, the likelihood of transmission....and if all of those considerations proved to be insurmountable....whether or not I felt as though having that person in my life was worth considering alternate ways as a means of finding our sexual fulfillment together.




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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 11:06:57 AM   
LadyPact


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You're not destined to catch either of the above.  A lot of people think that's automatically the case when one partner in the relationship has something that the other person does not.  The smartest thing you can do is make a health care appointment to get the warts treated, have a script written for Valtrex, and then talk to the doctor about how you can prevent becoming infected yourself.  You'll be taking some precautions, but if this person cares about you in any way, they won't want to give up your health to be with them.

In the meantime, until the doctor's visit, do some research.  Google is your friend and there are plenty of resources out there for you to start learning about her condition.


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 11:32:39 AM   
IvyMorgan


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Exactly, use google, go to the Doctor, treat the genital warts/HPV if possible, use precautions with the HSV.  You're not destined to get them.

When you have more information, about how to conditions, should you catch them, will affect/might affect you, then you can make a reasoned decision about whether it's something you want to do.

(there's lots of HPV info in the proof of heath thread, btw)

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 12:47:41 PM   
CreativeDominant


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I contracted genital herpes from my first wife over 25 years ago.  She was screwing around with a guy behind my back and contracted it from him and passed it on to me.  Except for one outbreak which occurred...ironically...during the divorce when I was NOT being intimate with anyone (My M. D. said it was stress-related), I have not had any problem with it.  I have been diligent, though not obsessive, about cleanliness and have lived with it for almost 30 years now.  I know how I can pass it on, I make partners aware of it and I live. 

You have a choice to make but before you do, I would do as suggested...you and your friend both need to educate yourselves about what she has and the ways of guarding against spreading it and preventing it and the odds of contracting it and whether or not that rises and falls in varied situations.

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 2:02:41 PM   
variation30


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You're not destined to catch either of the above.  A lot of people think that's automatically the case when one partner in the relationship has something that the other person does not



If he's asking this question, I'm imagining the lifestyle led will be one that will involve a high chance of infection.

It's a simple matter of risk/benefit.


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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/4/2008 8:46:31 PM   
peppermint


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

HPV is a virus just like herpes - it's the one that certain strains cause cervical cancer.  It can be treated, but about the only way to get rid of it is to remove sections of the infected area - and even that doesn't always work.


I have to disagree that removing tissue surgically is the only way to removed HPV.  In cases where tissue removal is the best treatment, surgery is performed every 2-4 weeks for up to 8 months.  This is due to the fact that tissue that appears normal might still have the virus on it and the warts will reappear.

Aldara (Imiquimod) cream is what my partner is using.  His HPV infection is a side effect of the medications he takes for his lung transplant.  A normal person's immune system helps fight viruses such as HPV.  Transplant patients who have survived over 5 years are very susceptable to HPV as their immune system is supressed by their antirejection drugs.  His warts are in his anal area, making it impossible to remove them surgically as he might lose the elasticity of the tissue there and therefore need to have a colostomy.  Three highly recommended surgeons turned him down for surgery for this reason.  In desperation we went to a dermatologist who decided to try Aldara.  It has removed all of the external warts and all but 2 of the internal warts  (his 20-30 warts were huge, some being nearly an inch long).  We hope all will be gone very soon.  He is using the Aldera cream in supositories, made by a pharmacy to work on the internal ones.  Aldara is a cream that is used once a day and it works by increasing your own immune system wherever it is used.  It's powerful enough to even treat certain kinds of skin cancers. 

As to precautions so that I would not get HPV, every doctor has said that is is very unlikely that I will get them from him.  The only precautions we have used are to make sure he uses his own wash cloth and towels.  My last pap smear did not show any sign of HPV. 

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RE: Getting a VD/STD to be with a partner? - 9/5/2008 4:30:08 AM   
pompeii


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<nerd warning>

Herpes isn't really a "skin" virus as much as it's a "nerve" virus; that's why the human immune system can't rid you of it completely.

Two interesting factors, not yet discussed here, regarding all herpes viruses, are that they are transmitted membrane-to-membrane & they hide not in your skin per se, but, in your peripheral nervous system. Read on if you're interested, otherwise </nerd warning>.

The herpes virus' membrane-to-membrane transmission mode means it's not all that easy to get except with close contact with a shedding individual. What physically happens is that the virus buds off from an infected cell with a bubble of the host cell's cell membrane surrounding it like a balloon carrying an ant up into the blue yonder. This virus-in-a-membrane vesicle then butts up against the victim's squamous epithelial cell membrane, the two membranes fuse, and the now-naked virus slips into the cytoplasm of the victim's squamous epithelial cell. Soon, the virus butts up against the nuclear membrane, which allows it into the nucleus, which the Dominant viral DNA promptly coerces into being a reproductive submissive. The submissive nucleus is promptly coerced into creating millions of duplicate viral particles (see note). Soon the nucleus explodes, and these million of viral particles take a swath of cell membrane with them like the balloons at a Macy's parade heading off back into the blue yonder to start the cycle anew.

For about ten days, the herpes virus has a grand time infecting the victim, during which time, all these exploding cells die, thereby causing the lesions that you can see with your naked eye. But, like a lone plane flying into the world trade center, the host doesn't take the insult lightly. A sleeping giant of a xylophobic immune system is suddenly awakened to the threat, keying off the foreign glycoproteins of the invading infidels, and it gears up immediately for battle, summoning the reserves into action.

Prior to the call to arms by the immune system, for the first day or two, the impetuous virus is having a field day with your cells, but, soon, the carriers and aircraft of the awakened mighty immune system are roaring off in droves, attacking directly the viral particles by the millions, in one-on-one hand-to-hand combat. Death and destruction, common to all war, is the result. Both sides suffer, the wasteful exudate filling lesions to capacity until they burst asunder. This rather complex and fierce battle rages on for the next 2 to10 days without abatement, until finally, the tide is turned inevitably in favor of the host. The battle front is broken, scattered about, and the invading soldiers are bayonetted and destroyed, one by one, by the millions as a river of death forms from their remains.

While it might take up to 21 days for new skin to form to cover the lesions, the battle is won within that ten-day period. It's not a fair fight, and the millions of invaders are nearly wiped out by your now furious immune system, which mops up all the valient stragglers until none of the infidels are detectable. Your immune system remains on high alert for a period of time, and the reserves are forever on guard to be reactivated should the invader sally forth in numbers yet again.

However a few broken and demoralized stragglers, cowed into submission, crawled away from the fierce battle, up the crack of cutaneous nerve endings, ascending slowly, hidden from view of the battle below, up within the peripheral sensory nerves, until they reached the sanctuary of the spinal or trigeminal ganglia. Now reasonably safe from the immune system, it is here where they cower, entering a latent state, offering no threat, until such time as they perceive a weakness in the host, to sally forth and do battle yet anew!

Should these impudent craven stragglers, perhaps years later, perceive a weakness in the host, they will sally forth with a common battle cry, only to be again wiped out by a reawakened national guard, always vigilent, never forgetful, after that first terrible insult. Never again will the hosts' immune system be as slow to respond as the first time it was exposed to this insult. The virus will lose, every time. Yet, inevitably, a few craven attackers will dastardly remain, cowering in the nervous tissue, reasonable safe from the antibodies of the immune system such that you can never destroy them completely.

I just realized I've been writing this for a half hour, so, I break free of the tyranny and leave you with this to ponder - no other animal on earth by we humans is infected with genital herpes, so, rest assured, you're flock is safe when you have that special need! :)

Pompeii

Note: Viruses are particles; herpes is basically DNA surrounded by glycoproteins; they're not living organisms; they don't respire; they can't replicate on their own; they have no metabolism, etc. they aren't living; they're basically just intelligent chemicals which can last forever, as long as they don't dessicate or are otherwise denatured.

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