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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/28/2005 8:51:42 AM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

I notice she skipped over the rational common sence advice and thanked the -Go for it replys.
crap like this really bothers me for one so young-confused

I noticed that too. She took the ones she wanted to hear. Oh well, we were all young once too. Which is why we were able to give common sense advice, lol.

chymes

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 2:11:15 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

I notice she skipped over the rational common sence advice and thanked the -Go for it replys.
crap like this really bothers me for one so young-confused

I noticed that too. She took the ones she wanted to hear. Oh well, we were all young once too. Which is why we were able to give common sense advice, lol.

chymes

To be fair to arithea, they were also the first 2 replies....

Maybe she just hasn't gotten round to responding to those who came after. Just hope it's not because she's been packing suitcases....

Focus.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 3:29:44 AM

swtnsparkling

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quote:

To be fair to arithea, they were also the first 2 replies....

quote:

Maybe she just hasn't gotten round to responding to those who came after.

You are right.... Bad me.. i need to remember some may not read the boards as often as i do. sorry A

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 4:28:06 AM

lovingmaster45

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quote:

You say he's an "older Master". There's a big chance that he's already married with a family and this is just what he does for fun and he'll break your heart before he'll break up his family, trust me on that.

Do you know his real full name, address, home phone number? Have you talked on the phone, freely, at whatever time is convenient for you, or are you limited to certain times, or his work number only. Big red flag that he's got a "real" life at home.

My thoughts exactly windchymes.

The "age" issue is a non issue. If he is the one, he is the one.

I was approached by one who is close to your age (22) and was a virgin. I insisted she have dinner with me and my wife; visit us in our home; go with me to visit my other sub; attend a bdsm event with me and meet my friends, and be involved in our bdsm group. Only after all this did I consent to be her Master.

She is a pure joy and adds a lot to our lives. She and my wife are great friends and she and my sub love to play with each other. Life is good, if you are prepared and your eyes are wide open.

I also do not see how this "dom" can offer "protection" if he is a state away.

Sounds more like an internet control freak to me.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 2:22:16 PM

Dracironsgirl

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hello ....i have been in your shoes and i decided to move 3 states to be with Master because i fell in love with Him. i am not one who just up and moves either. it has been a year since the move and Mast and i are doing great..it was well worth it.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:19:50 PM

arithea

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Greetings Focus and thank You

well everyone says i have a lot to learn about life but life keeps going until the day we die. sexuality i know i need to learn a lot on because i don't know a whole lot on it and i am not affraid to say it either. relationships? well i don't really know but i will take your word for it Focus...

you know i haven't ever looked into BDSM much and i think i should it might help a lot.

what do you think i should do? because he's been a friend for awhile and if i take his name off my profile like someone who did he will get mad and ignore and won't ever speak to me again. i know i shouldn't let it bother me but it does and i can't always control my emotions.

well i go through my own mail, but he says if i find anyone interesting then to speak to him and show him and he will state whether i can write them back or not. personally at first it didn't bother me because most who e-mailed me were not what i was interested in because they talk too much or too little about what they want or need. they don't talk about themselves much. i really want to find that right now, but i know i have lots to think about and to learn about before i take that step.

plus with the Master who i have been placed under a so called protection of, well lately he's seems distant and hasn't really talked to me much and tonight i just logged off chat and turned on msn and he wrote me on msn and got mad that i left the way i did. honestly today i have been busy trying to get ready for christmas and all. i see where you coming from Focus and i really respect your advice and ever since i read what you wrote i haven't stopped thinking about it. i was going to write you back the same day i wrote the other two but i got busy and had to close it out until i could return to finish.

i really think you are right Focus, i should diverse my input, too.

so it is wayyyyyyyy too fast and wayyyyyy too soon? okay i shall back off a bit.

yes i will fix it and reconcider it. thank you so much Focus

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:34:57 PM

arithea

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slavejali

he's in his 30's. i have always loved older guys.

he likes the same music i do. he has 2 kids who live in my state with their mother
he is divorced.

i like the closer age too because then you can explore more together.

quote:

Let your head rule over your heart in the beginning, be logical, sensible and know that any partner you introduce into your life is going to effect it so many ways. Do the maths before your emotions start to get entangled.

true i should.

sometimes they still don't understand though and sometimes maybe that tells you it was never meant to be. like i told Focus lately after this was posted he has been distant with me and hardly talking to me. i am really starting to re-think my feelings.

i agree with the e-mail thing too now.

thanks for your 2cents worth. lol

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:37:14 PM

arithea

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K

i see what you mean and you are right how can he really protect me if he is in another state? i guess i wasn't really thinking that way and now that you mention it, it comes to question and comes to my mind.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:42:22 PM

arithea

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greetings james

quote:

rule is: the closer you live, by actual physical ;measurable distance;the more likely you are ,to fall, for, that person,so if the," other woman " moves, in next door ,or is more convenient ,or even lives closer ,than you do....you're, not ,as close -no matter how you look ,at it...,

okay i understand what you mean and i agree, i wasn't thinking. was just thinking about right now online and i am starting to realize there is more to this then just a feeling of connection online. there has to be physical emotional attraction and so forth.

i see that what if i moved there and nothing clicked then i am stuck out there helplessly and no where's to go or no work or anything. i wasn't thinking anything like this and i am glad i opened this because it's opening my eyes more to whats to be concidered.

thank you i love the picture too...

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:47:10 PM

arithea

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quote:

Okay. It sounds like you really want to try this so why don't you TRY it. Make an arrangement with him and move in with him for a set specified amount of time; say 60 days. (DON'T vacate your present home. This is temporary.) If that works then try a longer period up to one year. By that time you should be able to make a good judgement decision based on facts and real-time knowledge. If it doesn't work out you have just taken a long vacation. If it does then you've had the time to be sure. Simple.

Oscar,

i was thinking i wanted to try it, but now that i got to thinking after reading some of the posts that i have so far replied to i realize there is a lot more to concider and a lot more i need to figure out and know about this Master.
ya but i also have to think money wise too because what if i only have enough money to get out there i know he won't help me get back to my home state because we have talked a little about me visiting him out there to clear my mind and try and see if we connect. he was talking about coming down here and visiting in march but now he's telling me he doesn't think he will be able to and i think he is just saying that because he is starting to distance himself from me. he was going to come down in March and visit his ex wife with his two kids and his mother as well as visit me. but i think i need time to rethink what i was thinking because there is a lot to concider and think.

thank you for your advice.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 6:57:53 PM

arithea

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quote:

nods to Oscar, was thinking the same, perhaps less say a weekend. Go home, keep talking and in about a week to two, try for a week and go from there.

Delvin,

i agree that many should do that to see how things go and if they click or not. if they don't then they will feel better and not lose a thing. now if they click then they take it from there.

thank You D. everyone's avice is being taken into and i am really reconcidering my thoughts.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 7:02:37 PM

arithea

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Wolf,

quote:

While it is good to have someone looking out for you to chase off the weirdos who wont give up, you should be handeling your own mail and know how to tell the idiots no thanks.

well i do tell the idiots no thanks or i just delet the mail and eventually know that they will get the hint that they didn't interest me.

quote:

Also you know what and who you like. If all mail to you must go through him how do you know people you would potentialy like arn't being pushed aside or not forewarded to you, least I am asuming the situation is he forewards mail to you given it goes through him.

you i didn't think that way. maybe some have sent him mail about me and he has not sent them forwarded to me. because he hasnt forward anything to me or said anything. it could be a good possbility. wow this just blows my mind.

okay so update my profile again and have more into it. it's hard to write more into it when i don't know a whole lot of what i like and don't like.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 7:11:22 PM

arithea

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gina,

well i have been into the Gorean lifestyle since i was 14yrs old.

i agree that i should be able to have some control in this so that way i know i feel safe and that he's not just someone who has played me for over a year. like i said i am glad i opened this up because now i am getting lots of input and things that i never thought about. he's in the AF and he was going to come down in march when he visits his kids he said he was going to visit with me as well while he was in town, but he has been distant and last night he said he doesn't think he will be able to come down in march and i don't know if he is just saying that or if it's really true or not.

your right he could be interested in only cyber control and i haven't really thought this through and i am greatful for everyones advice because it's really starting to help me out a lot.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 7:27:59 PM

arithea

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chymes

quote:

Sorry to be the one who pees on the parade, but.....

This has all the potential of becoming the next "Why would a so-called-Master just disappear...." thread!

i don't think so.

you know your right i should find out what he thinks of me before i start giving into my emotions about this Master. i don't think he will disappear i think he will just completely start to ignore me or tell me to bug off and ban me out of his room on CM.
well i disappeared for a few months and came back right before my mother had passed away.

well i know he is divorced and has two kids a boy and girl.
i know his phone number to his house and his cell phone number.
i have talked freely but i do still know my place. well i have called him at any hour i have thought was a good time for me to call him.

thank you i will keep that in mind and remember it and keep my guard up.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 7:35:46 PM

arithea

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Mylee

this Master knows me from inside out better then i know myself at times.
he knows when i am upset and i dont' have to say anything or hint to it. he just knows and it's kind of nice that he knows that. ya but how can a Master in another state online give me what i need? i am starting to look at the big picture.

well ya true. ya but i don't think i should tell this Master yet until i think more on this.

thank you lee.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 7:57:28 PM

arithea

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candy

you know i just don't know what changed it.

i live with my stepfather, one of my sisters her fiance and her two little kids. that i don't have is a good paying job because i dropped out of school and can only work certain places. i have my nephews and nieces and siblings to concider. thou i am the youngest but before my mother passed away i promised to keep my family together and watch after my nephews and nieces... he's in the AF and he refuses to move back here.

i agree candy. i so much agree.

thank you candy you have great advice and i am really thinking a lot now.
thank you to everyone.

he has told me what it would be like if and when i come there and it scares me a little.

ten years? i haven't thought that far ahead. or even 20.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 8:04:24 PM

mnottertail

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Ja, there is a good chance you could live this 10 to 20 years, anywhere. anytime, anyway...............

Most of us older folk, call it life.........what's carved on your gravestone?

Ron
P.S. We were young; once, and pretty..........

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 8:21:30 PM

arithea

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swtnsparkling

yes Focus gave good advice.
yes i have read it more then once. infact it is burned into my head.

quote:

move in with him for a set specified amount of time; say 60 days.

yes i agree i am only 18 and thats just too much for a first step process.

okay yes i am only 18, i am very confused because i started this when i was 14.
i had my very first Master when i was 14 and he started teaching me the Gorean ways and after a year he set me Free and told me that i had to look and learn on my own. yes though this Master was an online Master i was loyal to him to the T and i told him everything and anything.

thank you, i am really taking not only Focus words but everyone elses too.

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arithea

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 8:24:31 PM

arithea

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Mastrer Robert

quote:

You might be surprised: the truth works wonders.

true, but sometimes the truth can hurt someone.

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RE: i need advice about a Master - 11/29/2005 8:44:32 PM

arithea

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sorry it took so long to reply to everyone's posts.

lovingmaster45

yes if their the one their the one, but a lot has to be concidered like everyone says.
i thought about that too, after realizing he can't protect me if he is in another state.

i am happy for you, your wife, and your two girls. they must be truly special. *smiles*

--------------------------------

Dracironsgirl

so you know what i am going through? but i do believe i have a lot to think about and a lot to learn before i do anything. i shouldn't fall for just someone over the internet. i am glad things went well with you when you met your Master. but i do believe that i should think a lot more on this and give it more thought you know? but i am a confused young girl.

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mnottertail

well to think about it, i see myself maybe one day kneeling at a Masters feet, but not until i learn more about myself of what i need, want, desire and what is best for me.

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arithea

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