quote:

Its highly likely that he is a member here, as you stated that he has a chat room here on collarme. Also its very highly likely that he is watching this thread, for he only has to look at your profile and look under the forums posted too.

_____________________________

i won't say that i will, i won't say that i won't, i will only tell you that i am not immoral.... only natural

quote:

I'm a little confused at what it is you've changed in your profile. Obviously I'm not gonna remember all that I read there a few weeks ago but the "barrier" I referred to is still there. Indeed, considering it's supposed to be YOUR profile, that barrier is *all* that's there....

If you go back to page one of this thread and re-read my first post, you'll see my reference and what I think of being directed through a third party dom in order to contact a sub.... In short, I just wouldn't waste my time with such nonsense and I'd find someone else to write to....

As to what to make of his actions, there's a little formula for helping solve mysteries. I'm not sure of the spelling (neither is the Net) or the exact wording but Okham's Razor more or less states that "all things being equal, the simplest, most obvious explanation will be the solution".

And I'd say the most obvious explanation is that he's using the guise of "protector" not to shield you from the obnoxious etc but to shield you from every other dom except himself. In other words, it's for *his* benefit and not yours! And he's now pissed because you've been talking to "outsiders", thus threatening his exclusivity. This is no more the actions of one who genuinely cares for you than having a stalker say the same thing - it's NOT healthy, especially for YOU! And considering he's not pushing to meet, I'd also theorise that he's married or at least committed and he uses you as his fantasy outlet. And since you're not catering to HIS needs as he'd like, that's more reason for him to be pissed. Your relationship with him is solely about his needs and he doesn't need r/l. Mind you, I'd wager if you pushed it, I'm sure he could arrange a quiet day or weekend but don't expect a proper relationship - he already has that!

Revisit your own profile and get rid of the barrier. I'm sure I'm not the only Dom who rolls his eyes and exits anytime a sub is directing me to a "protector" first. Your profile should be mostly about *YOU*! If you're not sure what to say, spend some time looking at other fem/sub profiles here and you'll soon get enough ideas to write something that suits *you*. And you'll also discover there are many subs twice your age who have little D/s experience like yourself, but are worldly enough to deal with geeks without the dubious need for a "protector"! A genuine protector will encourage you with others, not get pissed because you're talking to them.... You're better off without him!

Good luck.

Focus.

quote:

maybe your right. or he has someone in mind and he's just not saying it because he has a girl i found out under his ummmm what do you call it? there is protection and then there is training... and this girl lives only a couple of miles from him. i got to thinking maybe with him getting pissed at me so much he is hoping i just up and disappear or something????

quote:

ORIGINAL: arithea

Focus,

i am sorry it took so long to reply just have been busy lately and having some family issues. well now time to pick up where we left off in talking.

i guess in a way i didn't understand and i guess now i understand what you meant back in that first post. lol sorry i have been kind of in and out of it lately.

"all things being equal, the simplest, most obvious explanation will be the solution".
never heard that before.

maybe your right. or he has someone in mind and he's just not saying it because he has a girl i found out under his ummmm what do you call it? there is protection and then there is training... and this girl lives only a couple of miles from him. i got to thinking maybe with him getting pissed at me so much he is hoping i just up and disappear or something????

thanks Focus your seem to help me out a lot. the more you write about things i start to think a lot and begin to look deep down inside me like i have never really done before.
maybe i'm growing up more then i think. but i could be changing inside and i thnk i kind of it to everyone who has given me advice. THANKS. hope to hear from you again soon.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he does have someone else "under training" because that's just another bullshit wannabe fallacy! This guy is a walking red flag and I'd seriously advise you to get him tha hell outa your life. And being wayyyy over here in Australia, you know I'm not telling you this because I have designs or motives of my own toward you, k? And there's a thread called "Training" by wetsub000 in this Forum that's fairly current; you might wanna take a peek.

You're very young and very new to the lifestyle and you've got decades ahead to look forward to so don't be in such a rush to believe any online dom who knows how to tell you what you wanna hear. And believe me, there are many who can talk a good game to the inexperienced newbie sub, especially one who's not had a lot of life experiences as an adult outside of BDSM, too!

Nothing beats real life experience but you can still learn a lot just from these boards right here. And anyone genuinely interested in you will want more than online contact. But it mostly starts online if there's no community where you live, so start with *YOUR* profile - make it about YOU! And do get rid of that reference to him - no adult truly needs an online protector. If someone sends you a nasty letter, and plenty will, just block and delete them! Or even give them a spray yourself....

And if some Dom writes to you and you think you need another Dom's advice or perspective, you're most welcome to drop me a line, k?

Take care and good luck arithea.

Focus.

quote:

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he does have someone else "under training" because that's just another bullshit wannabe fallacy! This guy is a walking red flag and I'd seriously advise you to get him tha hell outa your life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

New name arithea?