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Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 11:50:45 AM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Just recently i found out that a friend of mine has met someone that is most likely into a lttle more than just vanilla with sprinkles. Not only am i very excited for Her that She may have someone to play with, but it excites me too because there isn't anyone [that i know of] that is local enough for me to start a friendship with. Since getting into WIITWD i have found that sub friends seem to be hard to come by. So my question to many of you subs and slaves is: Do you have several sub and/or slave friends that you visit with and have a good friendships with? , Just one good sub/slave friend? or have you had a hard time finding a close friend like me?

Post #: 1

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:02:59 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Your profile says you're in the Riverside, CA area. Perhaps you might want to contact the Paddler's Munch or Rose Garden Munch, both located in Riverside, CA.

http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/bdsm/

http://www.therosegarden.org/

That might be a start to networking and finding other groups near to you, and in turn making some local slave/submissive friends.

John

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 2

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:03:53 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Hmm, I have several, but only one that I would call very close. We see each other almost every other day, and I will admit, that without her being here, I would be much more lost than I already am :)

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 3

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:04:21 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

oops, i think i posted this in the wrong category

well, hope all sees it.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 4

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:10:26 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Hmm, I have several, but only one that I would call very close. We see each other almost every other day, and I will admit, that without her being here, I would be much more lost than I already am :)

i can imagine how nice it must be to have someone who shares the same interests.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Your profile says you're in the Riverside, CA area. Perhaps you might want to contact the Paddler's Munch or Rose Garden Munch, both located in Riverside, CA.

http://www.angelfire.com/falcon/bdsm/

http://www.therosegarden.org/

That might be a start to networking and finding other groups near to you, and in turn making some local slave/submissive friends.

John

The only problem is that i am not able to attend munches or groups because of Master's work schedual. She would want to attend with me. but i will check into both of those groups to gather some info for Master. Thanks

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 5

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:15:40 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Master and i live in an area where there is little to no chance of having any lifestyle friends. Its probably the reason i post to these boards and chat on the internet.
Before Master came to Australia, He was stil active within the scene, he was used to going to bdsm clubs and play parties etc, it was one thing that worried me, wondering if the adjustment to no scene contact would work for him. i dont think he misses it, he really isnt that social of a person due to his deafness limiting communication. i used to go to clubs about 10 years ago..cant say i miss it..maybe im just getting old *grin*...i'd like some lifestyle friends, people we can relax with and be ourselves...but there are lots of things in life we would like but just arent going to get due to the circumstancs of our lives.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 6

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:23:43 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

i have won -- and lost -- more than a few subbies or slaves as friends. i find they are completely insecure about their Master or Dominnant and run off at the first sign (to them) that i've had any contact...one even organized a 3way YIM and then ran off because she felt was i said (asking His advice) was too forward.

Since i have been on the boards i have made new subbie and slave girlfriends, but only time will tell whether they are going to stay put.

it's exactly the opposite in my vanilla world; i have a best friend and other girlfriends i have had for many years and we've most all been through more than one man since we met; it never crossed my mind that any of them would betray me and run after my Man and it never happened.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/27/2005 12:24:46 PM >

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 7

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:29:38 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Lately i've been very blessed to have found 2 ladies on CM that are fast becoming goodf friends. i haven't often had someone i can talk to about WIITWD, and i consider them very special gifts...

~~huggles~~

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 8

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:32:27 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

Hey CandyStripper!
I've got to ask. You say you've "been through more than one man"..........

Did you wear them out or run them off?

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 9

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:35:29 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Oscar...with all due respect to our lawyer Doms here....i dated lawyers and found them to be selfish, sissy, stupid Men. i burned up the sheets and still they neglected me or cheated on me. So, my motto was of course "don't let the door hit you on the way out".

candystripper

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Post #: 10

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:43:29 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

my Master is my only friend. because he restricts my contact/communication with the outside world, having a "vanilla" friend would be next to impossible as i do not go anywhere without him to meet such people. it's very important to him that any potential friend i have be accepting of our ways and lifestyle, and that is hard to find even within the D/s community since we are a bit on what some would call the "extreme" side of things. it would be nice to have a nice slave friend, close by, that i could see on occasion, have tea and cookies with and just girltalk or something, but the chances of that happening are just not that great. too many things would have to fall into place....meeting someone with ways/beliefs similar to ours, in the area, who i also clicked with on even a casual level. but who knows, maybe one day.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 11

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 12:51:52 PM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

i have many friends i see all the time in the lifestyle. It makes it fun

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 12

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:01:50 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

my Master is my only friend. because he restricts my contact/communication with the outside world.

daddysprop247

JMO..but i find this a red flag, not to mention detrimental to your general well-being.

candystripper

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 13

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:04:37 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

my Master is my only friend. because he restricts my contact/communication with the outside world.

daddysprop247

JMO..but i find this a red flag, not to mention detrimental to your general well-being.

candystripper

and perhaps for you this would be so. but these are his ways, that i knew, understood and accepted before becoming his. also i am a slave not a free submissive, so he is not obligated to look out for my "general well-being".

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 14

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:24:04 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

my Master is my only friend. because he restricts my contact/communication with the outside world.

daddysprop247

JMO..but i find this a red flag, not to mention detrimental to your general well-being.

candystripper

and perhaps for you this would be so. but these are his ways, that i knew, understood and accepted before becoming his. also i am a slave not a free submissive, so he is not obligated to look out for my "general well-being".

not obligated?
what sort of care does he take for his vehicle? better than of you?
you'd get breast cancer and he'd throw you out if his neglect led to a mastectomy?
now this is what gets me into a pissy mood when other subs tell me "i dont want to be treated like shitty property."

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 15

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:33:57 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

and perhaps for you this would be so. but these are his ways, that i knew, understood and accepted before becoming his. also i am a slave not a free submissive, so he is not obligated to look out for my "general well-being".

daddysprop247

Sorry, but with that factoid i feel you standing on the tracks with the train rumbling your way and you saying "but i'm just a lowley slave". if you have abdcated all control to Him, and He in turn feels no obligation to look out for your well-being...well...what is the conclusion except your well-being is not part of your relationship in any form.

candystripper

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 16

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:37:30 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Sorry, but I agree totally with CandyStripper here.

My first Dom encouraged outside friendships, both in and out of the lifestyle. Isolation leads to depression all too often.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 17

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:52:35 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Don't assume all that is possible, is probable, just because someone says it is so.

John

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 18

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 1:55:02 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I would not presume to make a judgment on Daddysprop's situation, but I would agree that generally living in an isolated environment can contribute to an array of issued such as lonliness, boredom, lack of support, situational depression, over-dependence, etc etc.

Daddysprop, you say it would be nice to have a friend accepting of your lifestyle for "girl talk" and so forth. Is your Master aware of this desire to be slightly less isolated? Although you may both feel he has no OBLIGATION to look out for your general well being, he would not be able to consider his OPTION to allow you to attempt to develop friendships if he is unaware you might wish to do this.

If having a real-life gal pal is not a possibility for a variety of reasons, maybe consider the other ways you could develop and maintain online friendships with slaves in similar circumstances. Clearly you are permitted to read and post on this site, so that is one avenue. There are also tons of groups/list servs already existing, or you could create your own small, initimate mailing list. (The best kind sometimes!) Perhaps your Master would determine when and if he needed to read your mail if he feels the need to monitor your outside contact.

Also, you did not mention family. Do you have family you are close with or is your Master your only close connection at all?

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 19

RE: Lack of sub/slave friends - 11/27/2005 2:31:28 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have realtime sub friends. my closet friends i met on aol and we have spend alot of time together. We've done thanksgivings together, Xmas eve. Gone away on weekends. Familys all know each other the kids get along.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 20

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