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RE: sharing of subs...what an ass. - 9/10/2008 7:36:07 AM

RealAddams

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline

My guess is that this person in question would not have the testicular fortitude to make that same argument and put so much of a fine point on your Masters fault from his point of view to the other mans face.

From my own point of view the thing that stands out to me about my own personality that would prevent me from ever considering the idea of sharing beyond a girl doing basic courtesy service for a guest.... making/serving drinks or food, is that I am inherently selfish and possessive. It is part of the whole dominant personality make up so to speak. The very notion of sharing a girl regardless of the kind of relationship be it vanilla or the numerous variations in this culture, seems to me to be clinically bloody insane. My girl.... my property.... full stop. You lay your hands on her then you and I have an appointment in a room with a drain.

So don't let this guy attempt to shift your position in the slightest. If he attempts to pursue the matter further I would recommend referring the issue to a higher authority i.e. your Master. Someone is criticizing him to his girl. Big infraction. Frankly to my mind you should have done this at the outset. Honesty and transparency being critical within your own relationship of course.

A

(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 41

RE: sharing of subs - 9/11/2008 2:26:23 PM

Worldly1

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcurious74

I had another dom tell my dom's not confident cause he isn't willing to send me out to another dom on my own.
He said,"part of the dom thing,, is to send u out to serve,, and report details". I'm looking to see what everyone feels and hoping I can rub it in his face as I do not agree most doms do that. From the conversations I've had. Please share your thoughts.

Some thoughts:
1. Why are you talking to other Doms and allowing them to pass judgment on yours?
2. Somewhere a village is missing its idiot. He found you and confused you.
3. No one...Dom or sub...has the right to tell you what's right or wrong in your relationship, or that their personal 'Rule Book' is the standard for everyone else's behavior.

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 42

RE: sharing of subs - 9/11/2008 5:23:35 PM

whis31

Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

my Master has talked about sharing with me others, but he when he was asked if i could be loaned out, he told the other Master that my training wasn't done and i wasn't up to being loaned yet!

(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 43

RE: sharing of subs - 9/12/2008 1:03:24 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Master does not share what belongs to him it's that simple. It is also a hard limit of mine not to be shared (been there done that with my late dom) I did it i hated it and never want to do it again.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to whis31)

Post #: 44

RE: sharing of subs - 9/12/2008 1:27:33 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cankles

quote:

Skully7000: what I don't Respect: someone who doesn't share because they are AFRAID of loosing their partner.

haha, really? You don't think that's a legitimate concern?

perfect

(in reply to cankles)

Post #: 45

RE: sharing of subs - 9/12/2008 2:18:36 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcurious74

I had another dom tell my dom's not confident cause he isn't willing to send me out to another dom on my own.
He said,"part of the dom thing,, is to send u out to serve,, and report details". I'm looking to see what everyone feels and hoping I can rub it in his face as I do not agree most doms do that. From the conversations I've had. Please share your thoughts.

curious, start rubbing!

C P

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 46

RE: sharing of subs - 9/13/2008 7:13:19 PM

JewAndCelt

Posts: 110
Joined: 8/23/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

Others can do what they will... share or don't. I've made it crystal clear that I won't be sharing or passing around anything belonging to me (read: my wife).

What tickles me is the wholesale douchebaggery and audacity of the so-called 'master' who decided to point out the 'flawed thinking' of the OP's master.

I know, several have questioned just why the OP was talking to this other 'master'...

I just chalk this whole thread up to a big steamy pile of attention-getting behaviour.

_____________________________

Maturity is patience. Mastery is nine times patience.

!!!!!!כי לא נולד הבן זונה שיעצור את ישראל

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 47

RE: sharing of subs - 9/16/2008 2:06:23 AM

scifi1133

Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: restlessdreamer

Psht. Silly girl.

Of course your Dom is insecure for not sharing! How else is he to know how good you are trained unless half the male population of CM can take you for a spin? He should feel utterly shamed for being so selfish!

And you... you are a bad, bad subbie coming to the forums to make such an all-knowing and wise Dom look bad. TsK!

TsK! I say!

(Sorry. The facetious, sarcastic side of me couldn't resist.)

_____________________________

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awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09

(in reply to restlessdreamer)

Post #: 48

RE: sharing of subs - 9/16/2008 3:04:18 AM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I don't share. If he thinks that makes me less confident or less a man ... he can say that to my face. To try and shame a sub by saying that ... he is a pussy. He is a disgrace. I will decide what I do or don't do. (Did I insult him enough? Nah, he hides behind subs, won't confront directly)

_____________________________

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(in reply to scifi1133)

Post #: 49

RE: sharing of subs - 9/16/2008 8:40:43 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcurious74

Please share your thoughts.

As a person that has shared his girls in the past and expect to do the same in the future......... I think this um person telling your Dom this um stuff is FULL OF SHIT!

It appears that this person is only attempting to up lift his own confidence at the expense of your Dom. It's been my experience that confident people do not have to put others down to uplift their own ego. I suggest that you ignore him and his insecurities.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 50

RE: sharing of subs - 9/16/2008 1:52:53 PM

Rawrandmeow

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline

Ive been accused by "Doms" (and I use that term lightly) that I am weak for not sharing my slave. I look at most of them and laugh. I feel no need to respond to this kind of bullshit. I am not afraid of losing my girl. Hell she would do anything I told her. But I dont get pleasure of knowing another man is using my slave. So therefore why would I do it? no these guys are pissed an jealous and want what you have or you if your the sub. Next time this happens tell them not to insult your Master and block them. nuff said.

(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 51

RE: sharing of subs - 9/17/2008 3:27:24 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcurious74

I had another dom tell my dom's not confident cause he isn't willing to send me out to another dom on my own.
He said,"part of the dom thing,, is to send u out to serve,, and report details". I'm looking to see what everyone feels and hoping I can rub it in his face as I do not agree most doms do that. From the conversations I've had. Please share your thoughts.

I don't think sharing is something Y/you're expected to indulge in, it's a personal choice made by the people in the relationship. As for the Dom saying your Dom wasn't confident because He wasn't willing to share you, I wouldn't be too surprised if He said it because He just wanted Him to share you and it was sour grapes.

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 52

RE: sharing of subs - 9/22/2008 3:39:09 PM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Would this dom who made this 'helpful' (as if it's anything to do with them) suggestion, by any chance be the one who wants to borrow you?
Tell them to get their own. You'r a woman, not a lawnmower.

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 53

RE: sharing of subs - 9/22/2008 3:53:49 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

~FR~

Some Doms enjoy sharing their subs with others under guidelines that they set down. Other Doms do not share their subs with anyone else. That is the nature of their relationship. To claim one or the other is weak is pure bullshit. The person who I call Sir may share me with another if he is present and I have no issues sharing him with another sub. We both are in agreement on this matter and it works for us...period.

_____________________________

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(in reply to tweedydaddy)

Post #: 54

RE: sharing of subs - 9/22/2008 4:21:05 PM

masterforRT

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline

I dunno..

I and mine usually get two different kinds of subs at Quiznos and share them together.. It works out fine.

OH..you're talking about submissives, not subs?

Okay..then why would your Dom want to share you with anyone? After all, you are HIS. not anyone elses! Besides, if you are so attached to him, why would you WANT to be shared?

(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 55

RE: sharing of subs - 9/22/2008 5:54:57 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Actually if he shared me, he would lose me.

Not to the other man, but to my loss of trust in him.

He couldn't guarantee that the other guy had been celibate for six months between std scans, he couldn't guarantee that he didn't have diseases that do transmit even with usage of condoms, he couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't have such severe panic and anxiety as a result that I wouldn't need immediate medical care if not hospitalization.

Just some of the reasons that he doesn't share.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to masterforRT)

Post #: 56

RE: sharing of subs - 9/30/2008 6:04:06 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: cankles

quote:

Skully7000: what I don't Respect: someone who doesn't share because they are AFRAID of loosing their partner.

haha, really? You don't think that's a legitimate concern?

perfect

I fully stand by my statement. though it does lose value when removed from the context of the full comment.

I believe Insecurity is a fault that should be worked on.

a leash is a great thing to have when your dog is going to run into traffic or try to attack the mailman. but I would much rather train my dog so that the second I say "____ come here" the dog stops anything else and runs towards me.

and as much as I love my pets my human partners would still rank significantly higher.

If I can't trust my partner D/s Or Vanilla or other, To honor our relationship at all times, Regardless of who s/he is with at the moment. then HOW can I trust sending them to the store? How can I let them Visit their familes? How can I send them to work?

But then again as I stated I'm openly Poly. and any partner I have must be as well. with that comes the re-assurance that the beginning of one relationship doesn't mean the end of the previous one.

So again I can only speak for myself and my views: If I'm going to have a partner I can either build a strong foundation where she won't leave me for another. or I can stifle her, but the last thing I would want is for them to leave because I didn't let them do something that wasn't going to damage our relationship.

So the bottom line is there are 100's of reasons not to let your partner play with someone else. but your own insecurity shouldn't be one of them. but that is just my opinion.

Cheers
Skully

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 57

RE: sharing of subs - 9/30/2008 6:36:55 PM

knockonmyduir

Posts: 264
Status: offline

sounds like he may have ordered from that catalogue that's been circulating.....

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(in reply to TwilightShadows)

Post #: 58

RE: sharing of subs - 9/30/2008 6:47:11 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

So the bottom line is there are 100's of reasons not to let your partner play with someone else. but your own insecurity shouldn't be one of them. but that is just my opinion.

Ahhh, with that clarification, I completely agree. One's own insecurities are never a good reason for a decision.

I do not share my wife because it would be bad for her (and me). I am not "afraid" that I would lose her. I know I would. But it wouldn't be "to another partner". I'd be losing her fair and square all on my own through demonstrated gross incompetence as her master. The idea that I would lose her to another man is laughable.

It's also important to remember that for my wife and I, there is no "play" and no "scenes". There is only "our marriage" and it is not something to be loaned out like, as another poster said, a lawnmower. If I were to share her (sexually), it would not be as a "play partner", but as a lover. There would be nothing causal about it. I am not completely adverse to that idea, but it would have to be a very, very unusual situation.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 59

RE: sharing of subs - 9/30/2008 8:24:17 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subcurious74

I had another dom tell my dom's not confident cause he isn't willing to send me out to another dom on my own.
He said,"part of the dom thing,, is to send u out to serve,, and report details". I'm looking to see what everyone feels and hoping I can rub it in his face as I do not agree most doms do that. From the conversations I've had. Please share your thoughts.

Hell it's worth a shot.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to subcurious74)

Post #: 60

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