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RE: No You Can't - 9/11/2008 10:22:41 PM

tia111

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I find if he pays attention to me, then he'll know when I'm approaching all systems go, liftoff. At that point a wooden spoon applied to the inner thigh will bring me back. But too hard and too many causes tears from pain, and sometimes tears from frustration. At that point it isn't going to happen at all that night and I can't handle any more touching.

Truthfully, if he doesn't want me to, then he needs to pay attention to how close I am, and stop applying stimulation of any kind. If he doesn't want to take the time to learn me that well, then I'm likely not to want to be with him again. It's like stomping on the gas pedal and then blaming the car for not braking itself.

Haha exactly what it is like DesFIP thank you for understanding.

quote:

Instead of making it a hard limit I'd simply just decline all dominants who're into orgasm control and denial, and go for the ones who's focus would be to make you orgasm.

It certaintly makes more sense, why entertain a realtionship with someone who you wouldn't normally click with just cause this is going to be a kinky relationship.

Thank you YourhandMyAss for your input though what if in every other way we are compatible? I suppose if it comes down to it being that important to him, then he would not hang around.

quote:

You cum when you want! True it is a mind over matter thing and that in time you can will yourself or unwill yourself. But it seems to me (and I could be wrong) that you (personally) have a more pleasuarble experience when you do. In the D/s relationship there still has to be balance. We get too caught up in the I am the D and you are the s. In the end we both need to be fulfilled.

haha. I must admit that is indeed much more pleasurable when i can. Perhaps eventually i will find someone who will enjoy it equally. Thank you for your comment.

< Message edited by tia111 -- 9/11/2008 10:23:19 PM >

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 10:38:45 AM

YourhandMyAss

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Then you'll have to decide, if all else you're compatible in over rides the few things you're not compatible in. If you honestly think you won't be able to be sucessful at orgasm denial and control, or have no desire to be successful in it, Then you decide are you willing to put aside your beliefs on this and do what he wants. And then if you do decide that make sure you pick someone who's patient and understanding about how O's and women work. Make sure he's not a brute that'd spank ya for "failing him" or some other punitive behavior.

And trust me, I've been there and done that, in regards to but we click on sooooooooooo much, what does it matter we don't click on x y and z, and usualy against my better judgement, and it hasn't worked out too well. So think about it carefully. I'm sure you would anyway though:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tia111

quote:

Instead of making it a hard limit I'd simply just decline all dominants who're into orgasm control and denial, and go for the ones who's focus would be to make you orgasm.

It certaintly makes more sense, why entertain a realtionship with someone who you wouldn't normally click with just cause this is going to be a kinky relationship.

Thank you YourhandMyAss for your input though what if in every other way we are compatible? I suppose if it comes down to it being that important to him, then he would not hang around.

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 1:16:26 PM

SlaveIndigochild

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Oh this is such a fun topic....
my first experience of absolurtely wanting to 'cum' and not being able to was during childbirth (don't laygh it's true1).
giving birth to me has always been a ruly orgasmic process....lots of pain, what's more lots of involuntary, unwamted, deep and viscious pain lol. and then this sudden internal release drop feeling and wow....someone saying; push, push and it was just the most amazing, exciting, ecstatic feeling....bigger and =better than the first time i remmebr having an orgasm.
of course it's not sexual pers se. but in terms of being at a pure sensation level it is an enormous turn on that final moment of giving birth.
Now it has been my experience during alll three babies that at some point there has been someone managing it; namely the midwife 9or midwives depending upon tyhe length of the delivery process). and inevitable, since it was for me, the only times i have ever totally experienced my body doing something over which i had absolutely no control....the midwife's role is to control the situation by careful observation, usually saying pant, pant, breath, don't push, don;t push and then waiting until she judges the baby's head to be in such a position that a voluntary push will finally get the baby out. it really does mean feeling and practising absolute restraint....everything is wanting to explode is the sensation, nd yet to do so would be dangerous for both mother and baby. SO; focus entriely on your breathing. Ki breating (for those who knwo about Aikido this is how to breathe)....long long slow breathing in through the nose only, until the turning point, which involves holding the intake of air for as long as is comfortable, and then breathing out through the mouth. it helped to stop the child birth process until told...and guess what> it works well for me to stop the explosiveness of orgasm.
Such breathing also comes in useful when being in training fgor asphysiation (oh can never ever spell that word)....and holding the breath deeply in the body during breath control also helps to stop the orgasm and start it again btw when told.
i just think focussing on the breath is amn all round fantastic process...the basis of all of the meditation practices that i know about, although there are probably others and many nore that focus on mantra that will achieve the same result.
i also think it's cool if males focus on holding back orgasm in these ways and learn the beauty of protracted and multiples.
Whew..all hot, bothered and distracted from my accounts now....
indigo

< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 9/14/2008 1:17:31 PM >

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 2:01:16 PM

Onionlake

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Doesn't the Kama Sutra ( or some other eastern type literature) address delaying or stretching out the orgasm and the benefits that can be derived from it? Rechanneling the energy elsewhere (painting the kitchen)?
My experience with orgasm denial is that it can keep the sub buzz going for days and days (glorious). The end result has touched both ends of the orgasm spectrum. Y'know where there's colours and borderline overwhelming physical and emotional sensations, blackouts to . The other thing I've experienced is where the orgasm is (sorry for the pun) anti-climactic. Like, ''eh, I waited two weeks for that?"
People in general are too goal oriented anyways. The journey's the reward.

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 3:01:03 PM

awakenednj

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Master has been working with me on orgasm control. One of the things that has helped me is the practicing by myself. Kinda like when I first learned way back how to get myself there in the first place, by myself... now its the other side of that coin. Clentching a certain way helps (a little like trying to stop peeing) and forcing myself to change my thoughts immediately. Removing all contact and physically changing position to one that is uncomfortable.. When he is with me trying to stop is still damn near impossible (because of, ya know... the omg He's RIGHT THERE thoughts) but he says he is sure I can learn and is very patient and never acts dissapointed if I fail. He said for some this takes years to really learn completely.

But I want to for him... want to be able to cum at just his command to... so we will keep working on it

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 6:04:24 PM

silkncarol

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It really depends on where my head and body are in the process.....i can try to hold off if that's what He wants...and sometimes it's just ooooooooooops...too late!

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Post #: 66

RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 6:31:36 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

tia.. personally, I'd make it a hard limit.. I'm like you.. once it starts..it's not gonna stop until I'm done. And if pulled back from the edge, it aint gonna happen at all.

Yea, I am the same way. I got lucky with my Mistress though. I think she just instinctively knew when I was ready and always "ordered" me to come right about the same time I would have anyway.

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RE: No You Can't - 9/14/2008 6:39:49 PM

BKSir

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Joined: 4/8/2008
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I do love to torment my pet like that... get him riiiiiiiiiight at the brink, and hold him there for a while, teetering on the edge before doing something that sends him flying off at intense velocity. Difference is, he likes it. And I sure do enjoy standing there, looking at him with his eyes rolled back in his head, shivvering and nearly unconscious for a few minutes afterward. ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onionlake

Doesn't the Kama Sutra ( or some other eastern type literature) address delaying or stretching out the orgasm and the benefits that can be derived from it? Rechanneling the energy elsewhere (painting the kitchen)?
My experience with orgasm denial is that it can keep the sub buzz going for days and days (glorious). The end result has touched both ends of the orgasm spectrum. Y'know where there's colours and borderline overwhelming physical and emotional sensations, blackouts to . The other thing I've experienced is where the orgasm is (sorry for the pun) anti-climactic. Like, ''eh, I waited two weeks for that?"
People in general are too goal oriented anyways. The journey's the reward.

Seriously man, I'm digging your posts on the forums. And yes, I couldn't agree more about the journey.

< Message edited by BKSir -- 9/14/2008 6:41:50 PM >

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RE: No You Can't - 9/15/2008 6:54:36 AM

Deliena

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Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

tia.. personally, I'd make it a hard limit.. I'm like you.. once it starts..it's not gonna stop until I'm done. And if pulled back from the edge, it aint gonna happen at all.

Yea, I am the same way. I got lucky with my Mistress though. I think she just instinctively knew when I was ready and always "ordered" me to come right about the same time I would have anyway.

*snort atta thishereboi* Master and I handle it that way as well, I'm like GT once I've started wild horses couldn't pull me back from the brink and frankly if they could I'd cry.

I understand the hotness of orgasm control (and have experienced someone who could verbally cue an orgasm - although he'd never tried to stop / control one whilst in bed, it was a "fun thing to do whilst you're in public sweetie" thing for him) but not too bothered it doesn't form part of my life. (Of course, if He expresses an interest I may develop a deeper liking LOL)

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RE: No You Can't - 9/15/2008 7:48:28 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
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quote:

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

O Gawd. Left alone, and unable to cum.

Well, apart from suing him (tongue in cheek there), I'd suggest going back to when you first learned how...what worked for you then? Try and retrain our body so it's responsive to your touch again.

Such carelessness with a former slave...shame on him.

candystripper

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RE: No You Can't - 9/15/2008 7:57:26 AM

GreedyTop

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~FR~
Regarding 'the journey'...

I don't look for an orgasm each time I have sex.. if I HAVE one - great!! but I'm more about the trip..LOL

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