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RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/26/2008 5:26:50 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

"mmhmmm . oh you want more. good.. ill be serving you my man paste for breakfast lunch and dinner on a plate watching you lick it clean..hmmmm you think you're funny. you wont be laughing when i tie you up on your bed and serve you a restricted of my man flavored cocktail all weekend. do youunderstand slave?"

Is this even a request?

(Is still shuddering at the notion of "man paste". )



manpaste?    is that the stuff that accumulates under the foreskin if not cleaned regularly?     

yum  

(in reply to opposingtwilight)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/26/2008 5:29:18 PM   
wideeyedinnocent


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		ha. I got this EXACT same email. Pretty sure everyone has...so lame.

(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/26/2008 8:17:37 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I think I've shared this one before.  It was a looong fantasy and he repeatedly wrote that he would lick my "erroneous" zones.
I had fun imagining that:  "oops, not there!; nope, wrong again!  NO! but you''re getting close"  !!!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to wideeyedinnocent)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/26/2008 8:27:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittengirl8

It's not a relationship demand, but it was a message I just remembered (and went to find to see how long ago it as). I didn't respond, because I thought, well... you'll see:

Good evening hon I am adrienne a real slave who has served her Master 10 years now. I am just here for chat . WHy are you on collarme? If you seek real it wont happen on a website like this. If youd like some advice from a very experienced slave id be glad to help. I have messenger at <email removed cause I'm kind of nice...> Id love to help adrienne

As I was reading I was thinking. "Why are YOU on here? Also, Ms. Genius, I have this strange adoration of apostrophes. Use them."


She left out a couple of things. Like she's just here to chat to girls so she can get them to do a threesome with her Master. And that the way to find real is to be her Master's newest playmate. And the advice she would give would be to come service her Master. And she'd love to have you clean the bathroom instead of her. That kind of stuff. Glad I could fill it in! (No, I'm not cynical, much!)

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/26/2008 9:58:56 PM   
FaerieQueene


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

"mmhmmm . oh you want more. good.. ill be serving you my man paste for breakfast lunch and dinner on a plate watching you lick it clean..hmmmm you think you're funny. you wont be laughing when i tie you up on your bed and serve you a restricted of my man flavored cocktail all weekend. do youunderstand slave?"

Is this even a request?

(Is still shuddering at the notion of "man paste". )



manpaste?    is that the stuff that accumulates under the foreskin if not cleaned regularly?     

yum  



Smegma. Thank you to my ex-future-mother-in-law for that one. I had nightmares for a week.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 9:44:28 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		hehe - i would have loved to have been a fly on the walll for THAT conversation!

What could have possibly bought that up in a conversation?

(in reply to FaerieQueene)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 10:02:53 AM   
FaerieQueene


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		Ya know, little boys, circumcision, hygiene, my ex.... somehow they were all related. Bless her heart, there is no topic that is filtered for polite company with her. This was mild compared to some other things she brought up. :P

Another initial relationship demand.... or bribe really: being "c*nt f*cked until I bleed".....

I don't see the appeal, but maybe that's just me.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 10:05:41 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Umm    ...   me neither - that just sounds painful   ..  and not in a good way!  

(in reply to FaerieQueene)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 2:31:14 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Men's batteries, or so I hear, don't last as long as the ones in a vibrator, though... and won't fast charge, either

(in reply to lilmissdefiant)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 3:21:37 PM   
PrincessJ77


Posts: 372
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: point A
Status: offline 		I just received this one.  His profile reads like excerpts from Literotica. 

"THE MAIN THEME BEHIND ALL OF MY TRAINING IS TO MAKE A SUB UNINHIBTED IN ACTUALIZING HER SUBMISSIVE SELF...  I WANT HER TO BE ABLE TO FREELY MOAN AND WHINE AND WIMPER ,YELL,SCREAM, AND ORGASM, IN THE SAME WAY SHE WOULD WITH ME ALONE, EVEN IF 1000 PEOPLE WERE WATCHING..  I WANT YOU TO LOSE YOURSELF
WITH ME AND NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD... I WANT OUR TIME TOGETHER TO BE VIEWED AS AN ESCAPE.

IF YOU READ MY PROFILE, YOU SAW THAT I WANT A SUB  TO ORGASM MANY TIMES, AS SHE WOULD HAVE EARNED THEM... TO ME, THIS IS ANOTHER ESENCE OF TRAINING---TO EARN YOUR ORGASMS SO YOU CAN RELISH AND CHERISH THEM MORE... I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOUR SUBMISSIVENESS AND NOT FEEL GUILTY IN ANY WAY ABOUT IT..  ITS PART OF YOU AND NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF..

THERE REALLY IS SO MUCH TO EVERYTHING......."

The last line cracked me up.  Too bad he didn't feel the same way about spell check that he feels about ALL CAPS.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 5:28:07 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittengirl8

It's not a relationship demand, but it was a message I just remembered (and went to find to see how long ago it as). I didn't respond, because I thought, well... you'll see:

Good evening hon I am adrienne a real slave who has served her Master 10 years now. I am just here for chat . WHy are you on collarme? If you seek real it wont happen on a website like this. If youd like some advice from a very experienced slave id be glad to help. I have messenger at <email removed cause I'm kind of nice...> Id love to help adrienne

As I was reading I was thinking. "Why are YOU on here? Also, Ms. Genius, I have this strange adoration of apostrophes. Use them."


She left out a couple of things. Like she's just here to chat to girls so she can get them to do a threesome with her Master. And that the way to find real is to be her Master's newest playmate. And the advice she would give would be to come service her Master. And she'd love to have you clean the bathroom instead of her. That kind of stuff. Glad I could fill it in! (No, I'm not cynical, much!)


*smacks her forehead* Why didn't I think of that? Gosh, I'm so silly.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 5:52:39 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FaerieQueene

Ya know, little boys, circumcision, hygiene, my ex.... somehow they were all related. Bless her heart, there is no topic that is filtered for polite company with her. This was mild compared to some other things she brought up. :P

Another initial relationship demand.... or bribe really: being "c*nt f*cked until I bleed".....

I don't see the appeal, but maybe that's just me.



*snorts*  you hit most women on the right day, and you can be screwed till you bleed.  gimme a break.  the guy prolly has some little bitty winkie, and his last g/f started her monthly and gave him the big buildup "oh honey you did me so good you made me BLEED!!"

i had an absolute talent for starting the day Daddy was going to come visit me.  fortunately that sort of thing doesnt bother him in the least.

kitten

(in reply to FaerieQueene)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/27/2008 11:40:28 PM   
FaerieQueene


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, the "offer" was from a woman. *scratches head* 

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/29/2008 4:19:50 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

quote:

ORIGINAL: opposingtwilight

"mmhmmm . oh you want more. good.. ill be serving you my man paste for breakfast lunch and dinner on a plate watching you lick it clean..hmmmm you think you're funny. you wont be laughing when i tie you up on your bed and serve you a restricted of my man flavored cocktail all weekend. do youunderstand slave?"

Is this even a request?

(Is still shuddering at the notion of "man paste". )



manpaste? is that the stuff that accumulates under the foreskin if not cleaned regularly?

yum


No, that's apparently knob cheese.

_____________________________

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(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/29/2008 7:04:04 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Sounds like that guys was REALLY EXCITED to be on a BDSM WEBSITE and email a LIVE SUBMISSIVE.  Everytime I read a message in all caps, it reminds me of that line in MIB when the marine stands up and says they "WANT THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BEST, SIR,"and WIll smith remarks that the guy has no idea why they are all there.

(in reply to PrincessJ77)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/29/2008 7:24:16 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeIgnited

I had one just the other day who claimed to be a vampire prince who wanted to "eat" me.

And I'm still not entirely sure what he meant by "eat".



LOL! I'm so crushed now. I thought he wanted to eat me! I can say that was one of the weirder ones.

(in reply to BeIgnited)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/29/2008 7:49:20 PM   
FaerieQueene


Posts: 32
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Sounds like that guys was REALLY EXCITED to be on a BDSM WEBSITE and email a LIVE SUBMISSIVE.  Everytime I read a message in all caps, it reminds me of that line in MIB when the marine stands up and says they "WANT THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BEST, SIR,"and WIll smith remarks that the guy has no idea why they are all there.


I'm never going to be able to see all caps in messages without thinking of that scene... Funny thing is, I occasionally quote that line, and I just get funny looks. Good to know I'm not the only one who remembers it

(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/29/2008 7:54:33 PM   
HalfShyHalfWild


Posts: 150
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softhearted

No one else got the "Would you like to be my secretary?" one?


The guy from Boston I think, or somewhere up on the North East? Twice now!


(in reply to softhearted)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 9/30/2008 7:45:21 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixidustpet
*snorts*  you hit most women on the right day, and you can be screwed till you bleed.  gimme a break.  the guy prolly has some little bitty winkie, and his last g/f started her monthly and gave him the big buildup "oh honey you did me so good you made me BLEED!!"


Incidentally, with as much as most women claim to not be size-queens, comments like this always give me a bit of pause.

(in reply to pixidustpet)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received - 10/15/2008 4:27:16 AM   
velvetluxe


Posts: 22
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline 		I wish I'd kept this one...

A recent missive was sent from Hong Kong, horribly misspelled (which annoyed me straight off the bat) and in broken English told me that if I were 'accepted' as his slave that he would treat me like a "princess- no bills to worry" and I would be required to do "everyday yoga and pilates class to make extremely flexible. I like my woman to be like sex doll and me to move her into many position I want."

In shock, I deleted it. Now I wish I hadn't, for sh*ts and giggles.

_____________________________

I'm a Blue-Ribbon Girl
~I love the smell of brimstone in the mornings...

(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 240
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