RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (Full Version)

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Llyren -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/19/2009 10:16:18 PM)

Did you tell him where he could shove it?



Aanakaris -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 9:58:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I think I've shared this one before.  It was a looong fantasy and he repeatedly wrote that he would lick my "erroneous" zones.
I had fun imagining that:  "oops, not there!; nope, wrong again!  NO! but you''re getting close"  !!!


I laughed so hard I knocked the keyboard off the desk with this one.





Fluke -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 2:10:58 PM)

I got a mail recently from a guy who said he'd find out where I worked and lived, that he'd take my collarme.com picture and pass it around my workplace, then he'd email me daily about he would rape and beat me, then he would come to my house and fist me hard in the ass and make me lick it clean.
First of all, I'm glad he lives in a country an ocean away, and secondly.. WTF?!?



LaTigresse -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 2:13:52 PM)

I don't suppose he was a 'pilot' or 'aviation expert'........I had one of those I tangled with once.



rockspider -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 2:54:45 PM)

I have always dreamed of going to see Canada. One thing, and i know it is possible, would be to be flown by amphibian plane somewhere deep in the woods, to some log cabin and living of the land, with a fishing rod and a gun. I think i just found the ideel woman to bring along[:D]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nightbird02
What exactly am I going to be cleaning in the wilderness, the pine trees?? [8|]


You will have to clean the fish and game he kills and drags back, of course.





Llyren -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 3:24:16 PM)


Honestly, I would like to learn to be self-sufficient on a little farm.  Raise goats and herbs, spin and weave cloth, make my own herbal soaps and cosmetics, sell them online with my own T3....

But honestly, there was nothing about scraping mud off a bearhide in that idea. 



Rhodes85 -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/20/2009 11:53:31 PM)

'I have always dreamed of going to see Canada. One thing, and i know it is possible, would be to be flown by amphibian plane somewhere deep in the woods, to some log cabin and living of the land, with a fishing rod and a gun.'

Heh that sounds alot like my neighbor

'I got a mail recently from a guy who said he'd find out where I worked and lived, that he'd take my collarme.com picture and pass it around my workplace, then he'd email me daily about he would rape and beat me, then he would come to my house and fist me hard in the ass and make me lick it clean.
First of all, I'm glad he lives in a country an ocean away, and secondly.. WTF?!? '

Damn! Thats creepy.... Though I have to admit I got something like that from a pissed off abusive ex of someone I was dating. I found it amusing until he acually showed up at my friends house, while I was there, with a knife. Needless to say that did not go over well. Fortunately he was smart enough to leave without incident when the guy that owned the house came out wearing an angels patch. I still wonder just how he knew where I was. On the upside he stopped harassing me and the woman I was dating at the time. At least he learned his lesson.

The lesson here is not to send message like that to people you don't know. You never know who they may be.



rockspider -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 2:19:52 AM)

I have done it quite a few times in southern africa. Inland you live of roots and berries. More often than not you can pot a small antilope or a rabbit and the guineafowls is also nice. On the coast you get oysters of the rocks, snorkel for lobster, prawn and abalone and fish for various types of gamefish. Often did a spot spearfishing as well. Sure way to get a nice dinner there.
In Swedish forest you find lots of mushrooms, some berries and the rivers often plenty of fresh trout. If you have a hunting permit lots of rabbits and various birds. Besides nobody said you couldn't bring some canned stuff for an emergency. Beer is an absolute must. No evening campfire without a fistfull off lukewarm beers and watching the stars under the african nightsky. Then you know why it is called the milkyway.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rhodes85

'I have always dreamed of going to see Canada. One thing, and i know it is possible, would be to be flown by amphibian plane somewhere deep in the woods, to some log cabin and living of the land, with a fishing rod and a gun.'

Heh that sounds alot like my neighbor

'I got a mail recently from a guy who said he'd find out where I worked and lived, that he'd take my collarme.com picture and pass it around my workplace, then he'd email me daily about he would rape and beat me, then he would come to my house and fist me hard in the ass and make me lick it clean.
First of all, I'm glad he lives in a country an ocean away, and secondly.. WTF?!? '

Damn! Thats creepy.... Though I have to admit I got something like that from a pissed off abusive ex of someone I was dating. I found it amusing until he acually showed up at my friends house, while I was there, with a knife. Needless to say that did not go over well. Fortunately he was smart enough to leave without incident when the guy that owned the house came out wearing an angels patch. I still wonder just how he knew where I was. On the upside he stopped harassing me and the woman I was dating at the time. At least he learned his lesson.

The lesson here is not to send message like that to people you don't know. You never know who they may be.




newbex -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 6:00:42 AM)

quote:


But my all time favorite is still the guy who wants you to stick a marble egg up your hooha, then lay it like a chicken.  Lots of the ladies heard from him.


Hey i heard from him too lol.

Other than that it's just the usual....
- Can i make you pregnant? I will take care of you and the child.
- Im going to kidnap you and rape you
- Im going to drag you off the street and rape you

Most of mine are about rape. Why does everyone want to rape me? lol



JBGolden -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 8:04:58 AM)

Man. I'd say this thread is a good place to find out what not to say but it's already so *far* removed from what *I'd* say I don't have to. [:D]

The only strange thing I got was from a woman across the country who wanted to suck on my socks.



Llyren -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 12:48:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JBGolden

The only strange thing I got was from a woman across the country who wanted to suck on my socks.



I can think of more interesting things to suck, but if you let her, tell her she has to return them clean and sparkling white!



DomMeinCT -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 4:16:20 PM)

One of my most memorable is the "doctor" who contacted me demanding that I immediately make a gynecology appointment with him, as I was months past due to have him examine me.

I wrote him back and told him that it wasn't possible, as he didn't accept my health insurance.  [8|]



Rhodes85 -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 6:09:16 PM)

'The only strange thing I got was from a woman across the country who wanted to suck on my socks.'

I've had a few messages like that.

'I wrote him back and told him that it wasn't possible, as he didn't accept my health insurance. '

LOL! Now theres a good reply [:D]



redwoodgirl -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/21/2009 6:22:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I think I've shared this one before.  It was a looong fantasy and he repeatedly wrote that he would lick my "erroneous" zones.
I had fun imagining that:  "oops, not there!; nope, wrong again!  NO! but you''re getting close"  !!!


I laughed so hard I knocked the keyboard off the desk with this one.







[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=line.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]



Lizbetbathory -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/23/2009 1:21:11 AM)

I got one the other day that demanded i take timestamped pics of my earlobes and give the guy my number so he can whack off to my voice.. and im not a sub!



Llyren -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/23/2009 2:19:28 AM)


I keep getting demands to let them submit to me.  Honestly, I receive more mail from submissive men than any other group.  Today's gem was a guy who wanted me to permit him to suck off my Dom. 



petmonkey -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/23/2009 3:51:16 AM)

i'll quote one,
"cam? ears? bovine? smoke my asswhole."
. . . .
. . .
...
Bovine?!


(Personally, i kind of liked the ambiguity of the last phrase. )

ETA: the whole ass, in a meat smoker? Body part or donkey? smoke the asshole as in use it in some intense manner?  smoke a cigarette in some strange way?  i will never ask.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/23/2009 5:31:05 AM)

I feel so totally left out.  I never get any weirdos... Now when I was in Korea, I did talk to a few guys, and EVERY ONE OF THEM had some kind of outlandish thing - you will crawl in the room, give blow jobs to all my firend and THEN meet me.  Right.

You will be my dog and have sex with my animals and do what I tell them to do.  MM hmmm.

You will be my slave and have sex with your students (my students are adults, and he knew that).  But still not something I do... *till after they are my students.  wink*

You will stand naked on the street corner and offer to have sex with every man who walks by.  *Yeah, I'm gonna do that in a foreign country.  sure.



CaringandReal -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (11/23/2009 5:44:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey

i'll quote one,
"cam? ears? bovine? smoke my asswhole."
. . . .
. . .
...
Bovine?!


(Personally, i kind of liked the ambiguity of the last phrase. )

ETA: the whole ass, in a meat smoker? Body part or donkey? smoke the asshole as in use it in some intense manner?  smoke a cigarette in some strange way?  i will never ask.




I am clearly not getting any good email. I tend to get this really deadeningly serious boring pedantic "I am this. I am that. I am the other thing." sorts of email that goes on and on and on for for screens, never saying anything interesting and leaving you feeling drained, bored, and thoroguhly disgusted with humanity's narrowness and small-mindedness when you finish. It often feels like the people who write these things were totally on automatic--no higher brain functions needed--when they wrote it.

But "smoke an asswhole?" That is wonderful! :D A old dom friend of mine uses the euphemism, "smoke a bone" to refer to the act of fellatio, and that at least makes some visual sense, but smoke an asswhole is like something out of another universe--it twists your mind to imagine it, given how hard it is to smoke something that's concave rather than convex. Perhaps he was referring to some obscure form of enema? "Now Hickory Smoked--For Better Flavor!"



starletprincess -> RE: Strangest initial relationship demand you received (12/2/2009 10:32:29 AM)

So I have laughed and laughed reading all these, but I just got my own and about fell out of my chair...

"hi can u put my number in a bathroom? "

Wtf? [sm=biggrin.gif]



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