Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Real"?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Real"?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Real"?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Real&qu... - 11/29/2005 1:30:56 PM

LadySonelle

Posts: 280
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline

Well, I got it again in IM. I talked to a prospective sub, told him to read My free online lessons, see My website, view My lifestyle as I put it out there, I invited him to come and do a session with Me. Free of charge. I play for the sheer love of it. Then he asked Me "What type of slaves are you searching for?" and I replied "I need a driver, a maid and I am also looking for financial slaves." to which he responded "Then you aren't real! Bye!"

So is that the riff? (% % free and 5% pay makes Me a fake? After 25 years it's a bit of a shock. he was getting EVERYTHING free! Everything. I hadn't even ASKED him to be a financial slave! But the instant I mentioned that I am seeking SOME financial slaves, he fled!

OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!! Whipe their backs, kick their genitalia, squeeze their nipples, even do WAS and scat and they lap it up. Mention that you do also sometimes play with financial and suddenly I'm a TROLLOP?!

Will somebody please fill Me IN on this? The bottom line is this: I am losing my eyesight as I have mentioned. That measnt that another line of work is being closed to Me. Sooner or later I will have ONLY one marketable ability and that ia BDSM. I had one slave tell Me he was "Dead broke, Ma'am, I only make 70K a year and I'm starving on it."

I'm damned lucky if I clear !@ K a year! But I manage! What is it? Is cash so sacred that Women nmust starve instead of dare to be branded with all those labels if they mention money? Only males can have it and only whores and sluts dare ask for it? Frankly I'm furious! I will NOT be able to live on disability and if there are no other jobs in this shrinking economy, then financial slaves would make a LOT of difference! The ones who claim to BE financial slaves say "I want to make a Lady's life easier" but when they get a cHANCE to help a blind woman, they run like rabbits! Make <y life eASIER?! Try making My life POSSIBLE at all!

Thanks for listening to My rant. Back to silent and genteel poverty.

Lady Sonelle
Who is NOT a pro!!

_____________________________

Come to My domain and read My Lessons online! http://www.LadySonelle.com then place yourself beneath My loving Hand!

Post #: 1

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 1:47:20 PM

EmoDragon

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

Hey i dont see nothing wrong with financial slaves ignore him he must have been an idiot a Domme who's paid for her services isnt a trollop she's just doing a job that happens to be somthing she likes to do.

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 2

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 1:50:36 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

i do not know about the rest of the world........

i can but only speak for ME.

and as a 24/7 live in domestics......

i hand over all of my account to Mistress.

maybe? the issue? is...these guys MAY be thinking..ok--pay for play..PRO....
but even so.....they SHOULD realize if You say FINANCIAL it oughta give em a clue......?????

do not know really.

i am sorry You are being treated so unfairly.....

my best wishes

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 3

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 1:55:32 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

You say you dont care about what people look like yet they have to do pay a tribute or present. Perhaps you could change your profile to..

I am a professional ( as I charge money or presents ) and you must give them to me otherwise it will be no play.

Stops confusion.

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 4

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 1:57:15 PM

EmoDragon

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

but what if she wants to be a pro with some subs
and not with others others that she has personal feelings for, for example?

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 5

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:00:40 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Perhaps you could change your profile to..

Perhaps people should just be more tolerant...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 6

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:02:08 PM

EmoDragon

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Perhaps you could change your profile to..

Perhaps people should just be more tolerant...

- LA

I agree

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 7

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:18:39 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle

Well, I got it again in IM. I talked to a prospective sub, told him to read My free online lessons, see My website, view My lifestyle as I put it out there, I invited him to come and do a session with Me. Free of charge. I play for the sheer love of it. Then he asked Me "What type of slaves are you searching for?" and I replied "I need a driver, a maid and I am also looking for financial slaves." to which he responded "Then you aren't real! Bye!"

So is that the riff? (% % free and 5% pay makes Me a fake? After 25 years it's a bit of a shock. he was getting EVERYTHING free! Everything. I hadn't even ASKED him to be a financial slave! But the instant I mentioned that I am seeking SOME financial slaves, he fled!

OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!! Whipe their backs, kick their genitalia, squeeze their nipples, even do WAS and scat and they lap it up. Mention that you do also sometimes play with financial and suddenly I'm a TROLLOP?!

From *my* perspective, the minute you charge someone for something it becomes a financial transaction where the payee has the power and control, not the person dependent on recieving the money. So for some people that could conflict with their perception of dominance. And quite frankly if someone is looking for a relationship, the outright requests for gifts and such may turn people off.

Its a function of personal preferences, I probably wouldn't date someone who was a pro top, it doesn't mean that I think pro tops are bad people, thats just not what I would look for.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 8

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:28:34 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle

Well, I got it again in IM. I talked to a prospective sub, told him to read My free online lessons, see My website, view My lifestyle as I put it out there, I invited him to come and do a session with Me. Free of charge. I play for the sheer love of it. Then he asked Me "What type of slaves are you searching for?" and I replied "I need a driver, a maid and I am also looking for financial slaves." to which he responded "Then you aren't real! Bye!"

So is that the riff? (% % free and 5% pay makes Me a fake? After 25 years it's a bit of a shock. he was getting EVERYTHING free! Everything. I hadn't even ASKED him to be a financial slave! But the instant I mentioned that I am seeking SOME financial slaves, he fled!

OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!! Whipe their backs, kick their genitalia, squeeze their nipples, even do WAS and scat and they lap it up. Mention that you do also sometimes play with financial and suddenly I'm a TROLLOP?!

From *my* perspective, the minute you charge someone for something it becomes a financial transaction where the payee has the power and control, not the person dependent on recieving the money. So for some people that could conflict with their perception of dominance. And quite frankly if someone is looking for a relationship, the outright requests for gifts and such may turn people off.

Its a function of personal preferences, I probably wouldn't date someone who was a pro top, it doesn't mean that I think pro tops are bad people, thats just not what I would look for.

C~

Just because someone gave me money doesn't mean he gets to tell me what to do to him. If both people establish that there is compatibility up front and then money exchanges hands based on the discussed parameters (including the femdom BEING in control), then the femdom isn't following his script. She can always give his money back and tell him to find someone else.

(I am not a professional dominatrix but have done pay for play phone sessions in the past and sometimes online domination for fee, but it's an insignificant amount of my income).

The ironic thing about gifts/tributes is how many men (vanila included) probably PREFER to be told when/what/how to send a tribute/gift, even in a personal relationship. Most men don't know how to send "gifts of affection" -- pure and simple. They either do it INAPPROPRIATELY or they fail to do it at all.

Men LOVE IT when women say "you need to buy me a gift and this is what I want" (when the feelings are mutual) rather than have to "guess" when the "appropriate" time is to send a gift (of what value? what is appropriate?). Why are men IN HELL around Valentine's Day?

Submissive men sometimes are dating/romance-challenged. Some are downright AWFUL at it. If they were not TOLD to bring a few flowers, an inexpensive bath set, a romantic CD on a third date by the woman he was courting he wouldn't DO it. A lot of sub men would prefer that the dominant women also told him which restaurant to take her to, what time to pick her up and told him what to wear.

I am speaking in terms of NON professional relationships where a dominant woman is requesting that a submissive suitor show sincerity in his affection by bringing a token or being cognizant of her tastes.

Guess what guys? A classy vanilla gentleman does this stuff automatically; it's what keeps the women swooning. It's not the cash, it's the attention to detail.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 9

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:28:58 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

From *my* perspective, the minute you charge someone for something it becomes a financial transaction where the payee has the power and control, not the person dependent on recieving the money. So for some people that could conflict with their perception of dominance. And quite frankly if someone is looking for a relationship, the outright requests for gifts and such may turn people off.

I feel the same way. If I am paying for something I become the customer and I believe in service first. It is something entirely different when I am paying my fair share of our household where we both live. Than just paying for services rendered.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 10

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:38:22 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

i wouldn't give it much though myself. Just be glad you found out he was an idiot before you invested a lot of time into him. i see nothing wrong with pro dommes charging by the hour or a domme requesting their slave to give up part or all of their paychecks. There is a femme domme in our area that i would love to serve and if she asked for my paycheck, i would have no problems with that. She would be the one in charge and if she wanted that to include finances, that would be her decision. It has nothing to do with whether or not your "real"

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 11

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 2:54:19 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Guess what guys? A classy vanilla gentleman does this stuff automatically; it's what keeps the women swooning. It's not the cash, it's the attention to detail.

I agree and this needs to be repeated until it sinks into people's heads!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 12

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 3:18:29 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!!

I'm shocked that you re just now encountering this phenomenon.

When I first announced to the online world that I was in the process of becoming a domina, I got bombarded with attention from men... Mostly married men, but regardless of married or not, they showed little interest in knowing this lady or courting her, they simply wanted to have me do things with/to them... For free of course, because otherwise it's prostitution, dontcha know, and no self respecting man would pay for sex (I'm told). I wonder what that says for the lady who will allow herself used for his pleasure if she is not vested in any type of relationship with him?

I soon came to learn the inordinate amount of bullshit and lies surrounding people's perception of what a domina is/should be... I felt as if admitting to enjoying domination/kink was in many people's minds, admitting to being an easy/cheap trick, and while I have nothing against easy/cheap tricks, I ain't one.
I've said it before, and will again... It is in my humble opinion, far easier to find a man who will ingest your feces, or permit castration, than it is a man who will discuss control of his wallet. I personally don't need to control anyone else's S***, but will dispose of someone whom I feel treats me like cheap play date, instead of someone he thinks about and is considerate of outside of play.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 13

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 4:06:06 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

You said it perfectly, M! What ever happened to the fine art of sucking up? We female dominants are supposedly so terribly in demand, why is it that we are so poorly courted?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 14

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 4:45:40 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle
OK, What the H IS it with males and their sacred WALLETS?!! Whipe their backs, kick their genitalia, squeeze their nipples, even do WAS and scat and they lap it up.

My guess is that these guys are so afraid of rejection or not being loved that they interpret any mention of money as an insult on their self-worth. Its a fearful and hostile feeling of "You don't want me, you just want my money."

I think this insecurity ties into Aakasha's point that many subs are dating/romance-challenged. They lack social/emotional skills which would make them more able to connect with the woman they are trying to bond with. The result is a somewhat clueless and insecure guy who not only lacks the ability to win over a woman, but who also doubts his ability to be wanted in his own right.

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 15

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 5:09:08 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well, I could advance an argument...which I will directly, that many a professional domme, escort, whore, faker, wannabe or whatever words are used in these venues, could be compared in some circles of thought, to professional politicians; that is; they may be percieved by some factions as lacking a jenais sais quois.......(but of course I cannot spell it, I am no frenchman.)

Please note the use of the word many and not all, please send hate mail to my personal post box. Not here, no sense ruining a good thread.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 16

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 5:11:31 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Just because someone gave me money doesn't mean he gets to tell me what to do to him. If both people establish that there is compatibility up front and then money exchanges hands based on the discussed parameters (including the femdom BEING in control), then the femdom isn't following his script. She can always give his money back and tell him to find someone else.

From my perspective, a client does call the shots since they are paying for the service. Thats how the saying "the customer is always right" comes from. Thats why I can't consider a professional top a dominant. They are providing a service for a fee, which to me isn't dominance. Again that doesn't mean that the person is bad or that pro topping is wrong, I just feel that it is often times confused for dominance.

quote:

Submissive men sometimes are dating/romance-challenged. Some are downright AWFUL at it. If they were not TOLD to bring a few flowers, an inexpensive bath set, a romantic CD on a third date by the woman he was courting he wouldn't DO it. A lot of sub men would prefer that the dominant women also told him which restaurant to take her to, what time to pick her up and told him what to wear.

I am speaking in terms of NON professional relationships where a dominant woman is requesting that a submissive suitor show sincerity in his affection by bringing a token or being cognizant of her tastes.

Guess what guys? A classy vanilla gentleman does this stuff automatically; it's what keeps the women swooning. It's not the cash, it's the attention to detail.

Maybe its because I'm not a man, but I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me that I need to buy their affections or attention on the third date. It would turn me off and wonder what they were really interested in.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 17

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 5:14:19 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You said it perfectly, M! What ever happened to the fine art of sucking up? We female dominants are supposedly so terribly in demand, why is it that we are so poorly courted?

Because a sub man who will submit to *anyone* thinks that a dominant woman will dominate *anyone*.

Because most sub men don't know how to even talk to a woman let alone court her.

Because a lot of submissive men are attracted to dominant women because they believe it relieves them of the responsibility of courting, pursuing, romancing and impressing a lady. They believe the submissive quality they need to have is "being available for use."

Because a lot of submissive men are attracted to submission because they are lazy and/or cheap.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 5:31:46 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Because a sub man who will submit to *anyone* thinks that a dominant woman will dominate *anyone*.

Because most sub men don't know how to even talk to a woman let alone court her.

Because a lot of submissive men are attracted to dominant women because they believe it relieves them of the responsibility of courting, pursuing, romancing and impressing a lady. They believe the submissive quality they need to have is "being available for use."

Because a lot of submissive men are attracted to submission because they are lazy and/or cheap.

Well, that lays it out fairly plain.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 19

RE: Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Rea... - 11/29/2005 5:34:05 PM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
You said it perfectly, M! What ever happened to the fine art of sucking up? We female dominants are supposedly so terribly in demand, why is it that we are so poorly courted?

Aim at your taget audience -

The advertisement has to be in a venue where it is accepted and in demand.

In this venue, you have possibly a guestimated Maximum 20% market share maximum (male submissives)- and, many of them are not interested in a professional relationship (although they may not discount one entirely either)...

So -
No matter what the venue- there will be those detractors that play down (talk down) the advertiser, because of their personal prejudices....

Have a standard retort - that is firm yet fair for those who decide they are "against" such endeavors... allow them their say, and reply.

If they desire to be asses about the situation (gotta love the "you have to..." people) - - - No issue... use your own advice, ladies - - and block the idiots.

I dont see this as a major issue.... as we definitively get what we pay for.. ;)

~J

PS - I am sorry - no courting from this corner either....

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why Does Money Make a Lifestyle Domme "Not Real"?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094