quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
You don't get rid of responsibilities. You trade for new ones.

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
It is possible to be both, you know. 

Just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I'm weak or trying to escape decision-making.  I'm perfectly capable of being responsible for myself and being a leader.  I'm actually a pretty darn good leader, too.

However, just because I'm capable doesn't mean it's my preference.  I'm perfectly happy being led, sheltered and protected by Firm and he gains the benefit of my "capable" skills, however he wants to use them.

*snip*

*snip*

Now I am free.  I can use my talents and capabilities to complete the tasks He assigns.  The weight of total responsbility is gone.  I am responsible only to complete my assignments to the best of my ability.  Slavery is freedom for me.  I was never meant to be a leader, I was never happy being in charge, I was never fulfilled by being the boss.  Obviously I don't need to be sheltered, protected or provided for, but it feels wonderful to know that I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calla Firestorm

Treasure, that makes -perfect- sense. With you having said that, there is this image that just flashed in my head that wonders how many s-types who -are- in that 'need' category are holding themselves together with bubble-gum and Scotch tape, hanging on by their fingernails, living their lives and hoping that someone, somewhere will 'step up'... and even more, for the ones who have let down their guards and been let down in return... and then have to figure out how to haul themselves back up by their bootlaces and try to survive, wondering why, in a world where people are told "just be yourself", that sentiment just doesn't extend to them.

Calla Firestorm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Not sure why they aren't responding. I would have a hard time believing not a single female enjoyed this from their male submissive counterpart as well.

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
wondering why, in a world where people are told "just be yourself", that sentiment just doesn't extend to them.

Calla Firestorm

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Not sure why they aren't responding. I would have a hard time believing not a single female enjoyed this from their male submissive counterpart as well.

Speaking as a submissive male, I found it harder to believe that the thread was started by a Woman. If you spend any time skimming profiles of straight Female Dominants, you'll see that the most common adjective used to describe the man they're looking for is "Strong", and "CEO" isn't that far behind. Dominant, submissive, or vanilla, the valuable and undesireable personality traits are pretty much the same.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
wondering why, in a world where people are told "just be yourself", that sentiment just doesn't extend to them.

Calla Firestorm

I was wondering- may I have permission to borrow this for a signature?

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
However, there is another type of servant out there -- the person who yields because xhe -doesn't- want to make decisions, and -doesn't- want to have to be strong or deal with crises or direct hir own life. Let's face it -- we're not all leaders.

To wit... my wife.  And no, I see nothing wrong with this.  She doesn't like to be in a position of making certain types of decisions (notably, the type that pit her desires against anothers).  She is both able and willing to make such decisions, but she'd prefer not to.  The only way I'd see this as a problem is that if it went so far that she could no longer function as an independent adult.  In that scenario, I'd have to start worrying about what would happen were I to suddenly die.

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

It seems a lot of dominants want a submissive to be capable of being a dominant, yet who chose to submit, instead.  Apples to oranges, indeed.

this does seem to be the case with many, and it's always been puzzling to me. so often you hear Dominants say how they want a "tamed lioness," or say with disdain and disgust of how no honorable or decent Dominant could possibly have any use for a "doormat." and of course they are defining doormat as someone who is submissive by nature, as a general personality trait, as supposed to submissive under conditions or only to the Great One. it can leave submissives like myself feeling very much misunderstood, unwanted and unneeded, within a lifestyle where one would think a submissive would find acceptance.

fortunately for me, my Master did not want a tamed lioness. He did not desire someone who could be the independent, go-getting, take charge and if necessary ball-busting domina at times, but then come home and bend to his will. the dichotomy there is odd and unnatural to him. instead he desired a submissive who was well...submissive. whose submission did not come with conditions or restrictions, who submitted as naturally as breathing because it is just who they are. who would be utterly dependent and need a firm but loving Master just to function well in life. that is what he found with me, and he values my particular type of submission very highly. yes, it takes a bit of work on his part. others can easily take advantage of me, so my life is very restricted and somewhat isolated. my first instinct has always been to submit..to obey...to serve others, even to my own detriment. left on my own to go to and from work everyday, i could easily become the sex slave of a male coworker and end up taking on everyone else's menial workload in addition to my own, simply because someone told me to.

but does my Master view this as a burden, or inconvenience? not at all. in fact from the very beginning he has only encouraged these qualities, and worked to nurture and enhance them for his own benefit. He hasn't taught me the skills or qualities needed for independence...money management, self-defense, bolstered self confidence, driving, a college degree, etc. if he ever had the notion to, he could kick me out onto the streets and he knows that i would have absolutely no means of making a way in the world. and to him, that's a good thing, because it is what makes me such a good slave for him.

but it is a sad thing that Dominants like my Master seem to be rare, and that so many have such a negative view on the more needy/dependent type submissives, and feel that we are something to be avoided and scorn, and of no possible use to anyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

{who would be utterly dependent and need a firm but loving Master just to function well in life. that is what he found with me, and he values my particular type of submission very highly. yes, it takes a bit of work on his part. others can easily take advantage of me, so my life is very restricted and somewhat isolated. my first instinct has always been to submit..to obey...to serve others, even to my own detriment. left on my own to go to and from work everyday, i could easily become the sex slave of a male coworker and end up taking on everyone else's menial workload in addition to my own, simply because someone told me to.
*snip*
He hasn't taught me the skills or qualities needed for independence...money management, self-defense, bolstered self confidence, driving, a college degree, etc. if he ever had the notion to, he could kick me out onto the streets and he knows that i would have absolutely no means of making a way in the world. and to him, that's a good thing, because it is what makes me such a good slave for him. }

 
I don't know whether to be very concerned for you, or doubt what you say is really the way you live.
 
Skipping over most of the things/thoughts/questions that your post brings to my mind...
 
I am wondering>  You have a CM acct, obviously.  How do you keep from succumbing to all the emails and mssgs that must come your way? He trusts you to come online, yet not step out the door.  He allows you access to a world of predators here, but confines you to his home and leaves you vulnerable there because he does not insist you have some sense of self to protect yourself when he is not around.  It seems illogical or naive on both your parts to think you can come "here" with all your lack of life-skills and not be taken advantage of.
 
how does that work ?
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247




fortunately for me, my Master did not want a tamed lioness He hasn't taught me the skills or qualities needed for independence...money management, self-defense, bolstered self confidence, driving, a college degree, etc. if he ever had the notion to, he could kick me out onto the streets and he knows that i would have absolutely no means of making a way in the world. and to him, that's a good thing, because it is what makes me such a good slave for him.

but it is a sad thing that Dominants like my Master seem to be rare, and that so many have such a negative view on the more needy/dependent type submissives, and feel that we are something to be avoided and scorn, and of no possible use to anyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I have yet to see a single one like you. Where the heck are they. Point for me.(Chuckles).

To some i'm sure a little of what you say seems a little far fetched. I understand it and can see that you don't mean you would be completely lost without Him or another. You would be possibly worse off than most because you are more dependent than the "usual" submissive.
Be proud of who you are.

Submission isn't meant to be a breeze but it isn't meant to be a battle either. When a female easily submits for me it makes my life less stressful. It is special to me because i don't have to worry about a daily power struggle i might encounter with a brat and the like.

I'm not sure the bold part of that is exactly good, i do think a female does need to have a few of those skills. A little self confidence isn't a bad thing as long as it doesn't get to the point it conflicts with a slaves ability to be humble.

quote:

OK - so you are happy and healthy, and loving life - as long as he supports you . What happens if he gets sick of you and kicks you out. You can't drive, apparently you have no education or training to speak of that could earn you a living, you need someone to tell you not to f**k the office boy just because he wants to.
What if he gets a disabling illness - you can't help him - you couldn't even get him to his doctors appointments - or for that matter, go see him in the hospital.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
I have yet to see a single one like you. Where the heck are they. Point for me.(Chuckles).

To some i'm sure a little of what you say seems a little far fetched. I understand it and can see that you don't mean you would be completely lost without Him or another. You would be possibly worse off than most because you are more dependent than the "usual" submissive.
Be proud of who you are.

Submission isn't meant to be a breeze but it isn't meant to be a battle either. When a female easily submits for me it makes my life less stressful. It is special to me because i don't have to worry about a daily power struggle i might encounter with a brat and the like.

I'm not sure the bold part of that is exactly good, i do think a female does need to have a few of those skills. A little self confidence isn't a bad thing as long as it doesn't get to the point it conflicts with a slaves ability to be humble.

it's true, over confidence can conflict with a slave's ability to be humble. just as independence (even if confined to particular areas) can conflict with a slave being completely vulnerable to her Master. these conflicts are why Daddy is the type of Master that he is, and why i live the type of life that i do. an independent, do-for-herself, confident woman just does not fit with his vision of the ideal submissive, and certainly not slave.

and btw, women like myself (in the sense of being submissive, completely dependent on a Mate, unable to care for self, etc.) seem to only be rare in the proper D/s world. it's a bit sad that i've found more acceptance and understanding among vanillas who believe in "old-fashioned" relationship ideals than among lifestylers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

{who would be utterly dependent and need a firm but loving Master just to function well in life. that is what he found with me, and he values my particular type of submission very highly. yes, it takes a bit of work on his part. others can easily take advantage of me, so my life is very restricted and somewhat isolated. my first instinct has always been to submit..to obey...to serve others, even to my own detriment. left on my own to go to and from work everyday, i could easily become the sex slave of a male coworker and end up taking on everyone else's menial workload in addition to my own, simply because someone told me to.
*snip*
He hasn't taught me the skills or qualities needed for independence...money management, self-defense, bolstered self confidence, driving, a college degree, etc. if he ever had the notion to, he could kick me out onto the streets and he knows that i would have absolutely no means of making a way in the world. and to him, that's a good thing, because it is what makes me such a good slave for him. }

 
I don't know whether to be very concerned for you, or doubt what you say is really the way you live.
 
Skipping over most of the things/thoughts/questions that your post brings to my mind...
 
I am wondering>  You have a CM acct, obviously.  How do you keep from succumbing to all the emails and mssgs that must come your way? He trusts you to come online, yet not step out the door.  He allows you access to a world of predators here, but confines you to his home and leaves you vulnerable there because he does not insist you have some sense of self to protect yourself when he is not around.  It seems illogical or naive on both your parts to think you can come "here" with all your lack of life-skills and not be taken advantage of.
 
how does that work ?
 
 

how on earth can one be taken advantage of online? unless one is very naive and none too bright, why would emails/IMs or any other online communciation from someone else be anything other than what they are...text on a screen? the internet for me is (primarily) a means of communicating and in a limited fashion interacting with the outside world. and this exchange is very valuable to me particularly because of the somewhat restricted life that i have. but that's as far as it goes. typed words from a stranger do not effect my world...why would they? or is the assumption that because i have a submissive nature i would obey a typed command from LordFuzzyBritches to run away from my Master and come to join him in the hills of kentucky? lol.

so no i am not vulnerable here at home, i am quite safe and protected. there is no need for concern. and actually the truth is that i rarely receive emails or PMs from strangers, just the occasional message from an online acquaintance, and when i do my Master reads them first and may or may not tell me about it before deleting them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

typed words from a stranger do not effect my world...why would they? or is the assumption that because i have a submissive nature i would obey a typed command from LordFuzzyBritches to run away from my Master and come to join him in the hills of kentucky?

Thanks Prop, for responding..
 
why? I don't know why...but many people are effected by it daily, and alot of them are not stupid or naive, but trusting, caring and hopeful.  You, yourself, told of how you are restricted to home because you would not disobey the advances of someone at work if they would command you to be their slave....would not be able to deny someone a request even to your own detriment. 
 
I suppose those words you typed made me think you feel easily persuaded and victimized....and so my question was born.
 
 Not everyone on the internet is a stranger according to your description and if typed words were truly meaningless, than you wouldnt bother to come and read CM and the words shared here by real people communicating with real people.  Friends happen.  Relationships bud.  You are vulnerable if you are here and are using your own common sense whether you realize it or not.  That same commonsense you have and would use errr  COULD use  if you worked in an office and someone was inappropriate with you.  You are being held in that house, not because YOU couldnt survive and exist, but because he more than likely doesnt want you to know you could. Theres a difference.
 
  You obviously have been doing this ( your relationship ) for quite a while and would be best to know if it strengthens you and makes you feel valued,  happy and fulfilled. 
 
IMO  submission is having the will and ability to choose, and choosing to surrender it. 

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

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ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

typed words from a stranger do not effect my world...why would they? or is the assumption that because i have a submissive nature i would obey a typed command from LordFuzzyBritches to run away from my Master and come to join him in the hills of kentucky?

Thanks Prop, for responding..
 
why? I don't know why...but many people are effected by it daily, and alot of them are not stupid or naive, but trusting, caring and hopeful.  You, yourself, told of how you are restricted to home because you would not disobey the advances of someone at work if they would command you to be their slave....would not be able to deny someone a request even to your own detriment. 
 
I suppose those words you typed made me think you feel easily persuaded and victimized....and so my question was born.
 
 Not everyone on the internet is a stranger according to your description and if typed words were truly meaningless, than you wouldnt bother to come and read CM and the words shared here by real people communicating with real people.  Friends happen.  Relationships bud.  You are vulnerable if you are here and are using your own common sense whether you realize it or not.  That same commonsense you have and would use errr  COULD use  if you worked in an office and someone was inappropriate with you.  You are being held in that house, not because YOU couldnt survive and exist, but because he more than likely doesnt want you to know you could. Theres a difference.
 
  You obviously have been doing this ( your relationship ) for quite a while and would be best to know if it strengthens you and makes you feel valued,  happy and fulfilled. 
 
IMO  submission is having the will and ability to choose, and choosing to surrender it. 

that is one idea of submission and perhaps a valid one, but it is not the only way. what of those who submit not out of choice but out of instinct, who naturally yield to the will of those around them? such submissives are no less valuable and have as much of a place in this lifestyle as any other, is really my point here.

now as far as the issue of vulnerability...personally i do not lack intelligence or common sense. i am not vulnerable in the outside world because i am too simple or naive to recognize when others wish to harm me or when i am in an unsafe situation. it is my submissive nature that makes me vulnerable, because despite my common sense, despite my intelligence and experience, when faced (literally faced...not words on a screen) with a situation where someone wishes to use me in some way or bend me to their will, i give in. obey. submit. that is just the way i have always been, and it led to a long hard road of pain and abuse for many years. fortunately i was still young when my Master found me..19..and he was without question my savior. without him coming along and taking over, there is no doubt i would not have made it much longer.

but again none of this has been a burden to my Master, being the particular sort of Dominant he is and needing the type of slave that he does. He is one of those who needs to be needed, not simply wanted. in fact he took many measures, both in the practicalities of daily living and in his training of me, to make me even more vulnerable in the outside world. for instance he instilled within me the lesson of "no resistance," which means that i am to be completely non-resistant to not only him but any Man, or any older person who wishes to make use of me in some way (again in the real-not cyber-world). situations where in the past, before being owned, i would have at least put up a semblance of resistance or would have just run away, by his orders i am to just submit. He understands the danger and risks inherent in this, and that is yet another reason why i live a fairly restricted life. rather than try to alter my personality and mold me into the type of submissive he finds unattractive and displeasing, he controls the small world in which i live instead.

kiwisub made the point that not many Dominants would wish to be responsible for the total well-being of their submissive or slave. and perhaps that is true, but there are more Dominants who desire such a submissive than most realize. but they are rarely heard from in venues such as this, because their views are unpopular and un-PC...and sadly some settle for something entirely different, believing that such a submissive just cannot be found anymore.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Treasure, that makes -perfect- sense. With you having said that, there is this image that just flashed in my head that wonders how many s-types who -are- in that 'need' category are holding themselves together with bubble-gum and Scotch tape, hanging on by their fingernails, living their lives and hoping that someone, somewhere will 'step up'... and even more, for the ones who have let down their guards and been let down in return... and then have to figure out how to haul themselves back up by their bootlaces and try to survive, wondering why, in a world where people are told "just be yourself", that sentiment just doesn't extend to them.

Calla Firestorm

*points @ self*
 
Your thread has echoed what I've been feeling for most of my life...that there is just no place for me in this world.   ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

OK - so you are happy and healthy, and loving life - as long as he supports you . What happens if he gets sick of you and kicks you out. You can't drive, apparently you have no education or training to speak of that could earn you a living, you need someone to tell you not to f**k the office boy just because he wants to.
What if he gets a disabling illness - you can't help him - you couldn't even get him to his doctors appointments - or for that matter, go see him in the hospital.

Why are you jumping to the conclusion that if someone is dependent on another like this that they are completely helpless?

quote:

Original: daddysprop247

He hasn't taught me the skills or qualities needed for independence...money management, self-defense, bolstered self confidence, driving, a college degree, etc. if he ever had the notion to, he could kick me out onto the streets and he knows that i would have absolutely no means of making a way in the world. and to him, that's a good thing, because it is what makes me such a good slave for him.