RE: About To Be Punished

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GreedyTop -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 4:48:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida ~ Fast Reply ~ Eh. Sounds to me like she screwed up, she was going to be punished for it, and was nervous about it. Also sounds like she got her punishment and after it was doled out, forgiveness was granted and they moved on. Hopefully a lesson was learned and their bond was strengthened. If so, more power to you both! This was my take, as well.

sunshinemiss -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 4:54:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds quote: ORIGINAL: Arastella For those of you who are so eager for the update, yes I've been punished, and my ass hurts like a mofo. But everytime I sit down, I remember. Once He had me bent over I tried breathing techniques to keep me calm, my head clear, able to focus on the fact that He loves me enough to remedy the situation. And for anyone who had read the other post about breaking down barriers and such... I haven't cried in 10 years, till tonight, because I was so ashamed, felt so bad, and was so desperate to please Him and knew I hadn't. Apparently I wasn't all bad though, as He DID reward me with more orgasms than I've had in my lifetime after. All good now. Red bottomed, and the problem has been solved, is over and I am high as a kite on post-orgasm. He was being QUITE generous as He simply happened to be really horny and wanted me. Hey! I'm not complaining! Thanks to all who actually gave me good advice instead of shit and bitching. Very much appreciated. Humbly Hilly in my opinion, punishment followed by reward isn't punishment; it's role-play. poppy cock. Everybody gets a hug or something after punishment.... sounds like you did really well with following orders... *sorry i didn't have advice... I was not computer available, but I am glad you worked it all out. night

NuevaVida -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 5:19:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako It's like spanking your offspring for being bad then giving him a candy bar after it. Or...it's like spanking your offspring for being bad and then reassuring them that you still love them. I have had brutal punishments in my past, and afterwards was assured that it was now behind us and all was well, and that it was time to move forward. Sometimes the only way to move forward was to resume how things were before the offense, and sometimes that meant "playing," sex, or whatever.

Usako -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 6:10:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: Usako It's like spanking your offspring for being bad then giving him a candy bar after it. Or...it's like spanking your offspring for being bad and then reassuring them that you still love them. I have had brutal punishments in my past, and afterwards was assured that it was now behind us and all was well, and that it was time to move forward. Sometimes the only way to move forward was to resume how things were before the offense, and sometimes that meant "playing," sex, or whatever. Usually when a parent reassures their young they love them it's with a hug and/or a talk to explain things further. They don't give them candy and treats. Giving MIND BLOWING ORGASMS after "punishment" to me defeats the purpose. You can reasure someone of love without giving them pleasure/a reward of that nature. And, as was mentioned before, it doesn't seem she learned anything to come and fluant the MIND BLOWING ORGASMS after this whole post was whining about the punishment that was coming and, to me, negets all that fear/anxiety that whoever the man was wanted to put in her. (Or at least I assume he did.)

Arastella -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 6:36:46 PM)
Okay, to ease some confusion, my "reward" was not for taking it, or accepting, but for the other things I did during the day that I went above and beyond to please Him. He figured punish the mistakes, but don't forget to reward her for the good she did. That and He simply wanted me, lol. So at the same time He was pleasing Himself. I'm sorry for confusing people and making them believe the reward was simply for taking the punishment, it was for the things I did to please Him.

VivaciousSub -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 6:50:42 PM)
Arastella, It is important to praise your sub for what s/he did right as well as discipline for what s/he did incorrectly. I am glad your Master can see the importance of this. I only wish we had known beforehand that's what the motivation for the reward was! Not that I don't enjoy mind blowing orgasms, mind you [;)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/18/2008 8:23:17 PM)
My question is- how is waiting and paddling help you to fix the behaviors which caused the problems? For me paddling would be pointless of everyones time, but if that's his thing, then that's how it is. Why not spend this time being productive and practicing and making plans so you don't repeat your mistakes?

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 12:03:44 AM)
Damn girl, you probally already have had your ass wacked or something by now. I was going to tell you to warm up your ass a little and get prepared for it ahead of time. Perhaps down a few pain relievers or something ahead a time. This is when it helps to have unfinished prescriptions bottles of vicodin laying around. All I have to say, is just get prepared for what's coming to you. Don't fuck up tomorrow like you did today.

brokenmind -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 12:26:36 AM)
Your D needs to rub salt in your wounds and make you post pics of your tanned hiney.

GreedyTop -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 1:49:00 AM)
No, he doesn't

Lynnxz -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 2:18:08 AM)
That sounds suspiciously like rice-shoe guy

seababy -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 4:08:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako quote: ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub Not sure why the sex afterwards wasn't supposed to happen. Well, I'm no expert on punishment when it comes to BDSM, however, it seems counter productive to punish someone then reward them with orgasms. It's like spanking your offspring for being bad then giving him a candy bar after it. But that's just what I take from it. So , you doing something wrong..then get spanked hard and have wild monkey sex after wards as "punishment"? Heck what are the rewards like?

JewAndCelt -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 6:20:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: brokenmind Your D needs to rub salt in your wounds and make you post pics of your tanned hiney. Perhaps her D would not take kindly to trolls telling him what he needs to do with his submissive? _her

dreamerdreaming -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/19/2008 11:58:17 PM)
Apparently this "Master" uses "punishment" as foreplay. If "Master" desires a slave who shows a pattern of brattiness, disrespect and disobedience, this tactic will surely encourage that result, over time. But it would be a lot quicker and easier to just get a pain slut to begin with. Whatever floats y'alls boat is fine, but I'm with LuckyAlbatross: How does such a "punishment" ( i.e. foreplay) help someone learn why what they did was wrong, and how to avoid repeating the same mistakes? OP??? IMHO, in order to facilitate obedience, One must facilitate learning. Punitive action should not be necessary, provided the slave is willingly obedient in general. Everyone makes mistakes. A wise owner will afford the slave the opportunity to learn from them. To that end, any consequence should include some thought process that addresses the infraction, such as: why it happened, why it was wrong, and how to prevent its recurrence. The few times he's been disobedient, I've had my slave write me a paragraph or two detailing for example: why/ how he was disobedient, how it felt to be disobedient, and what he will do in the future to avoid a recurrence of the unwanted behavior. This facilitates learning, since he gets to think about his motivations, his patterns of thought and his actions, and he gets to run through alternate solutions in his mind. After that, we can do corrective training, in which he practices the desired behavior. The result: my willingly obedient and compliant slave is enabled to remain so, the great majority of the time. No punishment needed. I am very pleased. If I want to beat his ass and then fuck him silly immediately afterward, I may call the ass-beating "punishment" because it arouses us both to use that terminology. But we've discussed the fact that it really isn't punishment at all, since its done for our enjoyment. There was another thread recently on the subject I believe, in which this sort of thing was deemed "funishment". But I never got a chance to read it and I can't find the thread when I search the term. Not to jack the thread, but can someone please post the link? Thanks. Because that's our dynamic, I think. The ass beating is a reward really, its a part of our lovemaking, and we both understand it as such. OP, I hope I'm not too harsh, but invoking fear is not a good way to facilitate learning, IMHO. If that dynamic works for you and your owner, great. I wish you all the best.

Willowmoon -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 5:53:59 AM)
why does everyone assume that spanking = forplay? I know for me i hate pain and would not get turned on by it however if he desired to use me afterwards being of use would sure turn me on.

lizcgirl -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 6:25:32 AM)
Punishment and sex, even if they happen on the same day, are two seperate occassions. She didn't say that he beat her ass then immediately tossed her down on the ground and made her scream with pleasure. To me it just sounded like she took her punishment for whatever she did wrong and they moved on afterwards. I've done the exact same thing and that's because my Master believes that once you discuss the problem and recieve your punishment you don't dwell on it. He rather get back to being us than to sit around and keep making me feel miserable. I still learned my lessons and I never made the same mistake again, but just because He used me after a punishment doesn't mean it canceled that punishment out. She freaked out, she asked for help, she took her punishment, she knows what she did wrong and she's moving on. Great for her.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 9:36:36 AM)
I think it's mostly a combo of 1) miscommunication 2) not seriously enacting a punishment Let's face it, most subs do not publicly talk about being punished on their own without any provocation. They certainly wouldn't publicly proclaim that they are just sitting around doing nothing but hanging online while waiting for it. Not only does it tend to convey a sense of "not being that big of a deal" but it doesn't convey any sense of actual remorse or shame in conjunction with what could be perceived as "airing dirty laundry." And afterwards, her tone was very happy, very lackadaisical, and put a lot of focus on being given orgasms, in fact having a really awesome better than usual time. This again does not convey a sense of seriousness towards punishment or behavior training, does not convey a lesson learned, and mostly just sounds like a bored exhibitionist who doesn't understand some boundaries. But do I think our OP intended this? No. I think she made some mistakes, her dom told her there would be punishment later, she got in a tizzy and decided to waste time online about it, they did their little "punishment" and then they moved on to some fun stuff. While I don't think they really take the punishment behavioral dynamic as seriously as I do or as most here would, that doesn't mean it's not real or exactly what works for them. So read the posts from HER perspective rather than where you are coming from it and I think it makes more sense.

sujuguete -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 9:49:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I think it's mostly a combo of 1) miscommunication 2) not seriously enacting a punishment Let's face it, most subs do not publicly talk about being punished on their own without any provocation. They certainly wouldn't publicly proclaim that they are just sitting around doing nothing but hanging online while waiting for it. Not only does it tend to convey a sense of "not being that big of a deal" but it doesn't convey any sense of actual remorse or shame in conjunction with what could be perceived as "airing dirty laundry." And afterwards, her tone was very happy, very lackadaisical, and put a lot of focus on being given orgasms, in fact having a really awesome better than usual time. This again does not convey a sense of seriousness towards punishment or behavior training, does not convey a lesson learned, and mostly just sounds like a bored exhibitionist who doesn't understand some boundaries. But do I think our OP intended this? No. I think she made some mistakes, her dom told her there would be punishment later, she got in a tizzy and decided to waste time online about it, they did their little "punishment" and then they moved on to some fun stuff. While I don't think they really take the punishment behavioral dynamic as seriously as I do or as most here would, that doesn't mean it's not real or exactly what works for them. So read the posts from HER perspective rather than where you are coming from it and I think it makes more sense. I think you may have missed the post where the OP said her Dom told her to go online and write about her anxiety pre-punishmnet. As for her post-punishment tone, I didn't perceive it as lackadaisical at all, just relieved that it was over. And who wouldn't rather focus on the orgasms than the paddling? [;)]

DesFIP -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 2:30:11 PM)
Not to mention that if she frequently makes careless mistakes, that would be an indication of ADHD. He could paddle her raw daily and still not cure the problem. Sounds like funishment to me.

tychtyp -> RE: About To Be Punished (9/20/2008 5:53:21 PM)
BDSM is a sexual fetish--nothing more, nothing less. If this fake training and punishment pleases both parties, more power to them. In fact, I suspect it's the only healthy kind of BDSM, one restricted to the realm of roleplaying.

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