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RE: Born Or Created? - 2/26/2006 7:50:59 PM   
randsboy


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Olympia WA
Status: offline 		As to the original question of born or created- i believe that a true sub/slave is born a slave and looks for his Master once he is of age. i believe that i was born both gay and a slave in need of a loving Master. And BDSM is to be a part of that. All i know that i am not a leader, i am one who thrills at being totally naked, collar and order around by my Master.

Master and i have been together for 7+ years and i can not concieve of this ever changing.

_____________________________

randsboy

always home during the day and willing to play. I do not drive, but could host. color & ethnicity not a problem

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/26/2006 9:14:31 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MojoRisin


is a person born submissive? or is it a way of being that is created through experience?


I truly feel I am genetically programmed to be submissive, although, I don't believe it's a clearcut question of nature vs nurture but rather a complicated mix of both.

I see it in my sister and my father, who unknowingly have D/s relationships. (I assume they are unaware, but I may be wrong.)

I can look back to my earliest years and see evidence of my submissive nature. I also feel it took acknowledging and acting upon my submissive nature for me to truly become happy with who I am, and life in general. (Although I've always been a fairly content person.)

I assume, however, that this is true for me, but not necessarily for everyone.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/26/2006 11:33:45 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Like cinful, i am genetically predisposed. At least i am assuming that is the case, and my upbringing fostered it. i have two sisters - one who is submissive to her husband under the "guise" of the church, and my other sister it too busy fighting it to recognize it. One of my brothers also has a submissive nature about him as well. Two of my cousins are submissive also. we're just one big submissive family, lol.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 3:58:06 AM   
novacaine


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I'm quite sure that one is born with a natural tendency to be dominant or submissive, it definately needs to be nurtured out of someone in some cases. I'm fairly sure I was born with a dominant tendency, but people and experiences have certainly brought it out of me.

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 4:20:03 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not really sure, there are incidents in my childhood that I can point to and say, this is what turned me into a pain slut. But a few things actually occurred before the major incident that makes me suspect I was always of a submissive nature. My problem lies that in my vanilla life, I'm a take charge type of girl. The two aspects are fighting each other right now, leaving me one confused person. But maybe that's another thread.

(in reply to novacaine)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 5:18:05 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i was born this way, i just didn't know there was a name for it when growing up. :) Also it's the reason that i don't call this a 'lifestyle', for me it's a way of life.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 5:22:36 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj
My problem lies that in my vanilla life, I'm a take charge type of girl. The two aspects are fighting each other right now, leaving me one confused person. But maybe that's another thread.


Hmmmm Confident, out-going and in charge outside of the relationship, submissive within it... you could well have just described the young lady I am currently interested in. She doesn't seem to find it confusing and nor do I.

What is confusing you about it? I don't buy into the image that some seem to have that submissive=weak could the confusion be coming from you doing so to a certain degree?

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 7:11:06 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

My problem lies that in my vanilla life, I'm a take charge type of girl. The two aspects are fighting each other right now, leaving me one confused person. But maybe that's another thread.


i used to struggle with this too, until i learned to understand it. However, my strength for the rest of the world comes from my submission to him. It seems the deeper i go with him, the stronger i am. Those who know me in my "vanilla" life would be shocked at how submissive i am. Where i became weak is when i tried to be submissive to everything, thinking that was the right thing to do, and desperately needing a place to express that submission. i realized i needed ONE place to put all of it (god, and i mean all of it), and once that was established, my internal strength began to grow.

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 8:18:00 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		i think, for myself, it's both. Just as one of my unmentionables was born shy, i was born submissive in nature -- well, mostly..lol. It's only been as an adult that i came to understand that and seek ways to express it and to nurture it. Of course, i've also had to teach myself to be more assertive, to display what some "domme" tendencies even though i don't consider myself a domme.

We're all individuals, and i suspect that it's different within each of us..in all flavors.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 9:21:01 AM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		I was definitely born this way, some of my earliest memories are of submission, and I can remember quite a long way back.

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 12:02:47 PM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		The problem lies in the fact that my partner is not into the lifestyle. Now, I do my best to wait on him hand and foot, to serve him, but that's merely because that's the way I am. I was raised a man's home is his castle, and a woman's place is to cater to his needs. However, my spouse does not treat me as a slave at all, so these feelings and needs go unmet, except through internet play. My spouse simply expects me to take care of everything, and I do. My children expect me to take care of everything, and I do, in my professional life, others expect me to take care of everything and I do. If someone has a problem, they come to me to solve it. The only time I get to be submissive is online. The desire is growing to intense portions. Sooner or later, I'm gonna crack under the pressure.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 12:31:45 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveladyj

The problem lies in the fact that my partner is not into the lifestyle. Now, I do my best to wait on him hand and foot, to serve him, but that's merely because that's the way I am. I was raised a man's home is his castle, and a woman's place is to cater to his needs. However, my spouse does not treat me as a slave at all, so these feelings and needs go unmet, except through internet play. My spouse simply expects me to take care of everything, and I do. My children expect me to take care of everything, and I do, in my professional life, others expect me to take care of everything and I do. If someone has a problem, they come to me to solve it. The only time I get to be submissive is online. The desire is growing to intense portions. Sooner or later, I'm gonna crack under the pressure.


Ah OK that I can understand and sympathise with. Trying to deal with such feelings when there seems to be no way to realise them isn't an easy situation to be in.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 12:34:06 PM   
typesgirl


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		This is just my opinion...for me it was not innate. I was not born submissive nor was I raised in any way to be submissive. I think my life choices created a need for balance and submission fills that need. That being said, I don't think it would have ever been expressed if I hadn't met Master. He brings out the sub in me :)
typesgirl

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 12:34:06 PM   
talltxsub


Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		As with many things, it must be a combination. Take the situation (as mine) of a person with a strong personality, dominant in most areas of life, but with a burning desire/need to serve. Some of it comes from the complexities of life, but some comes from experiences as a child of being coerced/seduced into compromising and submissive positions and situations.

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Born Or Created? - 2/27/2006 12:35:19 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Very interesting post. i believe my submission is part of me, who i am, my personality, my desires, my drives. But over the years much of my need to express it became hidden by the demands of a world that promotes aggression, power and drive. Now, i seek to feel my submissiveness again, to see her and experience her and i look to my Master to touch her and grow her and train her in her completeness.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to randsboy)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Born Or Created? - 1/6/2008 2:25:45 AM   
cindyxdresser


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/8/2007
From: Tulsa ,Oklahoma
Status: offline 		I truelly believe we are born submissive,I have always wanted to serve ,and have tried being dominant ,but couldnt do it

_____________________________

Cindy Cole

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Born Or Created? - 1/6/2008 2:42:47 AM   
trainedobedients


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/30/2006
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I can only talk for myself but I was born submissive. It was over the years not always apparent and sometimes hidden deep, but looking back it was always there. And it is only when it let it blossom and dwelled in it that I finally felt home and good about myself. To me submissiveness reaches beyond the bedroom and to me is a 24/7 thing.

_____________________________

Play safe and sound,
trainedobedients
slave of Master JohnnyV

(in reply to MojoRisin)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Born Or Created? - 1/6/2008 9:41:24 AM   
kuuntuli


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not sure.I think I was born this way, I've desired to be submissive as long as I can remember, and desired to please people. But it could be that there's just been things in my life that have made me this way. But it doesn't really matter. This is how I'm happy.

(in reply to trainedobedients)
Profile   Post #: 58
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