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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 6:42:42 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy.
Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives.

Would you do it?

You're joking. We're on the message boards of a D/s site and you're asking why a sub would hypothetically wish to please her Master??

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan
Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else.

Even if we were to take this strawman at face value, you say it with some sort of derision that would seem unused to that type of mentality from TPE Doms and sub/slaves who could be content doing that. Just because you do not find such a dynamic to your taste...


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Profile   Post #: 181
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 6:45:23 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunnyfeyJump on some carnival/circus/sideshow forums, I've met alot of girls who fit that particular discription. Please this is an actual serious post, I'd be willing to even pass some links on the other side over to you......


*perk* please?

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 6:49:39 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else.

Correct me if I got my facts wrong. The OP seems to have changed his profile.

And who do you know that has higher standards??




Well the subs looking for "goddess" dommes....(no offence to one who calls themselves such) being god like is a pretty hard standard to live up to.

Whats wrong with BDSM without love? Trust always....but we dont have to LOVE our D/s partners. I've heard of a few Doms who think love is a weakness in D/s relationships. So if theres a girl looking to be used the way the OP discribes, but who is ok with the whole no emotional attachment (love anyway) then why not? And yes Ive been in a D/s relationship where I dident love my Dom and he dident love me, we just did what we did. Yeah I used him (even as a submissive...I used him to dom me because thats what i wanted) and He used me in return. No need for love in the relationship if everyone is forewarned and happy with it. (and before its asked, I left the old dom for the simple fact I stopped enjoying his type of play after a bit...he was very stagnent it his play...same thing over and over)

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Profile   Post #: 183
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 7:46:50 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth


quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Okay it might have been better to read the profile lol.



I get the impression from these two posts the idea that my desires, kinks and goals are the problem, and that if that's what I want then I deserve to have a hard time? Am I completely off-base with that sense?



No...where you are off-base is expecting the dedication and commitment of a long-term submissive/slave without being willing in return to give them anything but play...in YOUR way.  You state right out that you are not interested in a "deep" relationship so then seriously...what makes you think anyone should commit an excess of their time, their motivation, their behavior, their desire to being "just" a plaything?  You have to give at least as much as you want to get.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 8:04:55 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else.

Correct me if I got my facts wrong. The OP seems to have changed his profile.

And who do you know that has higher standards??




Well the subs looking for "goddess" dommes....(no offence to one who calls themselves such) being god like is a pretty hard standard to live up to.

Whats wrong with BDSM without love? Trust always....but we dont have to LOVE our D/s partners. I've heard of a few Doms who think love is a weakness in D/s relationships. So if theres a girl looking to be used the way the OP discribes, but who is ok with the whole no emotional attachment (love anyway) then why not? And yes Ive been in a D/s relationship where I dident love my Dom and he dident love me, we just did what we did. Yeah I used him (even as a submissive...I used him to dom me because thats what i wanted) and He used me in return. No need for love in the relationship if everyone is forewarned and happy with it. (and before its asked, I left the old dom for the simple fact I stopped enjoying his type of play after a bit...he was very stagnent it his play...same thing over and over)

Hey, I am just stating what he wants. I did not say there was anything fundamentally wrong with what he wanted. Just trying to put it in clearer terms. *Shrugs*
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan
Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else.

Even if we were to take this strawman at face value, you say it with some sort of derision that would seem unused to that type of mentality from TPE Doms and sub/slaves who could be content doing that. Just because you do not find such a dynamic to your taste...



Well, I apologise for that. But I was only trying to make clear what he wants, and what he wants is quite difficult to understand. And its definitely not just an open mind.


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Profile   Post #: 185
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 9:39:45 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up.

when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here.

now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you?

They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 10:01:53 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		It's a number game really much like anything else. The number of women that look like what you require or want to look like that are  a certain number. Now take from that number the amount of women who are able or interested in your kink and you have fewer in your pool. Now take away the number that are willing to be with an average looking guy like yourself and you have fewer still. One more take away. Take away the ones that are willing to be owned and committed to one that doesn't offer commitment in return.

Each time you add a must have to your list you limit your chances

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 10:26:04 AM   
kidwithknife


Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline 		OP, to take a slightly different tack on this, how active are you in creating art at present?

I can tell from your profile that creativity/art is very important to you.  It actually strikes me as something you need to do in order to feel fufilled.

And I'm very aware that having an idea for a future artistic work that isn't currently practical can very easily lead to the trap of spending all your type talking about that, as opposed to getting on with the nuts and bolts of creation in the present term.  (I've been there myself.  About two years of doing nothing because of a vague plan to open an art studio some point in the future).

In particular, I think it might be worth looking at the more obviously performance based art forms.  (You mention both loving and being terrified of performing on stage in your profile).  Other people have touched on this, but I do get the impression that part of you very much wants adulation and applause.  Which there isn't necessarily anything wrong with.  But I think you'd be better going for it now, as opposed to hoping for a relationship that will fufil that part of you.  Apart from anything else, really throwing yourself into performance is likely to increase both your happiness and self-confidence.  Which will in turn, make it easier for you to get what you're wanting in terms of a relationship in the future.

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 10:29:55 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
Im a size 0 contortionist....but i cant run in heels. o.0


Would you like to? ;)

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 10:35:52 AM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline 		Lowered Expectations.. a whole LOT of examples!

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 11:11:16 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liljoy

It's a number game really much like anything else. The number of women that look like what you require or want to look like that are  a certain number. Now take from that number the amount of women who are able or interested in your kink and you have fewer in your pool. Now take away the number that are willing to be with an average looking guy like yourself and you have fewer still. One more take away. Take away the ones that are willing to be owned and committed to one that doesn't offer commitment in return.

Each time you add a must have to your list you limit your chances


Your absolutely right. I'm personally fully aware of where i stand in that numbers game.. As far as I'm concerned it's all worth the wait to get what I desire.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 11:12:39 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		I will agree - it is absolutely worth the wait.

Of course, if I can figure out anything that will shorten that wait, that is far preferrable. :)

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 192
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 11:27:11 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

I will agree - it is absolutely worth the wait.

Of course, if I can figure out anything that will shorten that wait, that is far preferrable. :)



I do that as well. I am proactive when it comes to looking and trying to help it along. I will not however compromise myself by taking something less than what will fulfill me in a female.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 193
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 1:26:23 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
Im a size 0 contortionist....but i cant run in heels. o.0


Would you like to? ;)




lol side note I've been wanting to add a ballet boots burlesque act to the show....so maybe

_____________________________

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(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 194
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 1:39:50 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up.

when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here.

now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you?

They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol.


Denial is the first step.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 195
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 1:41:58 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up.

when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here.

now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you?

They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol.


Denial is the first step.





_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 196
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 2:02:33 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 3:10:53 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up.

when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here.

now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you?

They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol.



I for one am extremely happy she joined the discussion; she was a most need perspective.  I have never doubted the existence of such 'loveless' D/s arraignments, but the thought occurs to me now that maybe, just maybe the needed hubris & some level of give-and-take might come in the toes-to-nose body form the the 'right' partner.

edited to add----> yeah for synergy! 


< Message edited by LadyLupineNYC -- 9/23/2008 3:13:30 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 3:17:58 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity.


No, it is well worth the wait to find what makes you happy, I (and some others) feel that some 'you time' would be just the thing to 'shorten' that wait and, yes maybe...just maybe 'expand'.  My boy, whom is so wonderful and loving is NOT a member of the FDNY...and yet, I forgive him and accepted him anyway .  You most certainly (far as I can see from posts) don't need therapy (unless you feel you do have some other issues which might benefit from some talking with an impartial person).  This issues is not even close to crazy....


_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 199
RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 3:23:14 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity.




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 200
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