RE: Masters who wont cum (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 6:59:32 PM)

Have you seen him masturbate and reach orgasm?  If you've not witnessed it you can't be sure it is happening.  Perhaps there are physical barriers to his ability to reach orgasm?



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:02:19 PM)

Well he has recently given me hints on how to get him off. So today, he says a blowjob while using my hands. But when I ask if I can he says no. Or he stops me in the middle of it. I said, "DAddy, how am I going to use my hands if they are always shackled behind me? He just smiled and said,"yes, I am aware of this"



OsideGirl -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:03:16 PM)

Part of me is wondering if it's "won't" or "can't". I undertsand that he does from masturbation, but so do women that have problems orgasming.



KatyLied -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:04:09 PM)

Is he able to maintain an erection?  I was thinking along the lines of ED and him not wanting/not ready to discuss it.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:04:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Have you seen him masturbate and reach orgasm?  If you've not witnessed it you can't be sure it is happening.  Perhaps there are physical barriers to his ability to reach orgasm?


No I have not seen him do this. I do know that the barriers are not impotence. Jes wonderful in that regard.



DomDolf -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:06:15 PM)

I am much like your Master in that I cannot really get involved sexually unless there is an emotional connection too. I am left unsatisfied psychologically if there is not that connection. So I mean a person where there are emotional ties. anyone else would be lucky to get near me let alone me penetrate them. The exception is where there are threesomes. I only need be emotionally involved with one person of the two. Yeah, yeah... strange.

Edited to complete the answer... As I said there are many factors that come into play. What I consider greedy is something personal to me and can only be defined by me. I am hesitant in saying anything about what I consider being greedy because you need to ask your Master about it. My definition may worry you. Maybe it won't, but it's not my place and I don't feel comfortable taking that chance. Ask your Master whether he is like what I have described and whether he feels you seem greedy or anything that would prevent him from wanting to or being able to cum.

Dolf



KatyLied -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:06:40 PM)

Well then I've no clue as to what he's doing.  Maybe it's some sort of denial/mind fuck scenario.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:06:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Is he able to maintain an erection?  I was thinking along the lines of ED and him not wanting/not ready to discuss it.


Again no. We have had plenty of penetrative sex and foreplay and he is far from having a dysfunction in that regard.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:11:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Well then I've no clue as to what he's doing.  Maybe it's some sort of denial/mind fuck scenario.


I think you may be on to something. i think hes possibly having fun with it at this point. Especially cause i want it. I did let being upset about it go. he certainly is happy. he also has me right where he wants me.



DomDolf -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:15:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I think you may be on to something. i think hes possibly having fun with it at this point. Especially cause i want it. I did let being upset about it go. he certainly is happy. he also has me right where he wants me.


I want to meet him. He may be a long lost twin... lol



CruelDesires -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:39:40 PM)

Delicious control. Control of your orgasms. Control of his. Control of your desires. Control of when and where he will allow you to pleasure him. Control of where and when he gets release.

As long as there is excellent communication between the two of you and you are in a happy and healthy relationship, sit back and let it happen. Quit second guessing him and enjoy the ride. [:)]

C-D



bamabbwsub -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:44:36 PM)

Ahhhhh, the mind fuck is the most beautiful fuck of all. 

It sounds like he's got it down to a science.  I personally think he's a bit devious and knows exactly what he's doing and how it's affecting you.  Lucky girl.  [:)] 



GrizzlyBear -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 7:51:34 PM)

For some, BDSM is mostly about sex, and their talk is filled with tales of fucking and cumming.  For some, its about other things first.  It would seem that for him it's about other things.  What is important for you to realize as owned property (if that is what you really want to be) is that in a power exchange relationship, its mostly about what he wants.  It sounds like he is in the process of teaching you that lesson.

If you expect to get out of it what you want, on your terms, you are likely to be disappointed.  If you can learn to find your joy by serving him and giving him what he wants, you are more likely to find satisfaction, and are also more likely to be rewarded for your good service.

If you can't find satisfaction that way, then you might be better off with a different partner who places greater emphasis on sexual pleasure.

Perseverance furthers.  I wish you well.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 8:27:46 PM)

-fr-
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
…..Is this common for a Master to equate cumming with losing control?

I don’t know if it is common but I equate giving a women control of my pleasure and orgasm as “giving control”.  

I used to think sex was more important than power until a very intelligent slave taught me otherwise through her wonderfully submissive and wily slave-like ways.  She asked me which I would choose if on a first date I had a choice to make my partner cum or orgasm myself instead?  I told her I would the make my partner cum.  She asked why.  I told her it was because it would give me sexual control.  At that moment I learned that control was more important than my own sexual gratification.

I desire to give a women the power to please me and make me cum but it takes several days of intense bonding.  Usually it takes a 4 day fuck-fest before we are close enough for me to cum for her.  The funny thing is that 4 individual dates or days does not do it.  I dated someone sporadically for several months before schedules allowed a 4 day consecutive time period.  In all the months prior she came more times than I can recall without her ever giving me an orgasm by her own efforts.  Then, finally I got my 4 days and we began a mutually rewarding relationship and she spent much of her time there after happily showered or soaking in my sperm… without a 4 day session required as a precursor.  Once bonded in the 4 day session, she retained the ability to make me cum. 

I have no idea about your guy’s sexual and emotional make up but like me, there may be a boundary you need to cross before he feels free to pass you that control and cum for you.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 8:35:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Yes, but what does a Masters cum or forfeture of it mean to him? Shouldnt he be wanting me to wear it or drink it or something?

Why do you presume what he should want to do with you?  Again, if you were a male sub and saying this, you wouldn't even get your foot in the door with almost any female dom. 

I understand wanting to know why- we can toss out a hundred reasons here and never really get to the point.  But the issue is more you choosing to be frustrated because you have some EXPECTATION of what he SHOULD do.  Not only what he should do, but what he should do to/for/with you.



tazzygirl -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 8:52:31 PM)

all i can say is... if he makes you sexually happy, dont worry about it.. he surely isnt.

seems a minf duck may be in play with your comment about your hands shackled behind your back... perhaps he is waiting on something from you first?

i had a lover once who would never have intercourse with me.... said it was too personal.. same reason he gave for not kissing me. it went on for some time with only blow jobs (thankfully, i cum on command).  it took many years before he finally started to see to my needs first.  once he did, it was mindblowing.. and.. yet... we never had intercourse.

why did i stay with him?  ah... love.. such a tricky beast, perhaps the greatest mindfuck of all!

sex isnt always all about the cumming..



hisgirl2011 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 9:09:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So i have been with my master for a short time. 2 and a half months. Its really a wonderful relationship. We are very much in love. We had along courtship where he did not penetrate me for quite a number of weeks. Intimacy and love goes together for him. He wanted to show me how special i was. I dont doubt his feelings. I know he cums when he masterbates. But so far he has never cum for me. he gives me many orgasms. I think he equates it with being in control. He says its not that big a deal and he eventually will. It is a big deal to me. I want his cum.

Is this common for a Master to equate cumming with losing control?


Is he emotionally involved with another person in any capacity, i.e. is an orgasm to intimate for him?



daddysliloneds -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 9:49:10 PM)

maybe he has some disease he's not telling you about; you know, the contagious kind. or maybe you're 'the other woman' or maybe he has desensitized himself by jacking off too much?  or maybe, just maybe, he's blowing an invisible wad?



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 10:15:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

maybe he has some disease he's not telling you about; you know, the contagious kind. or maybe you're 'the other woman' or maybe he has desensitized himself by jacking off too much?  or maybe, just maybe, he's blowing an invisible wad?


Rediclous. I speak with him nightly and have been to his house. So no, I am not the other woman. Unless of course you count his female samoyan puppy.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Masters who wont cum (9/21/2008 10:31:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Yes, but what does a Masters cum or forfeture of it mean to him? Shouldnt he be wanting me to wear it or drink it or something?

Why do you presume what he should want to do with you?  Again, if you were a male sub and saying this, you wouldn't even get your foot in the door with almost any female dom. 

I understand wanting to know why- we can toss out a hundred reasons here and never really get to the point.  But the issue is more you choosing to be frustrated because you have some EXPECTATION of what he SHOULD do.  Not only what he should do, but what he should do to/for/with you.


I never said i was frustrated. i said I was initially but let that go. I posted after seeing a thread about a sub who couldnt cum after being denied. So i decided to post out of curiosity of why a dom would not want to cum.

I dont presume anything. You presume much. Like me being frustrated. As for not getting a foot in the door as a male sub, I am a girlfriend and partner too. In a great relationship. I am also not demanding to cum myself, nor am I doing anything but asking questions(which is what I am supposed to do). I am not in control here and I am right where I want to be.



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