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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained
a Master should treat all His slaves equally, one is NOT more important than the other.

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using a slave, taking all that is offered to that Master regardless of the circumstances involved in their relationship dynamics, and singling out one slave in favor of another when that Master wants a polyrelationship, what of the other slaves that come in the picture?

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they too will notice such differental treatment. just because one is a slave, doesn't mean that they aren't human and have feelings and emotions, and expecting someone to be cold and lifeless when a Master wants a slave to be more than just a slave, but a friend and lover as well, is contridictory.

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

if a proclaimed "Master" continually hurts and lies to his slave without care or remorse, that "Master" in my eyes has never respected, cared, loved his slave, only used her for His own gain. where is the honor, respect, trust and integrity in that???

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

a Master should treat all His slaves equally, one is NOT more important than the other. using a slave, taking all that is offered to that Master regardless of the circumstances involved in their relationship dynamics, and singling out one slave in favor of another when that Master wants a polyrelationship, what of the other slaves that come in the picture? they too will notice such differental treatment. just because one is a slave, doesn't mean that they aren't human and have feelings and emotions, and expecting someone to be cold and lifeless when a Master wants a slave to be more than just a slave, but a friend and lover as well, is contridictory.

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ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

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ORIGINAL: truesub4u

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

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talking about BDSM/Ds/Gor/MOUSE.

I hate going off topic, lol, but ....what is MOUSE? I have never heard that before.

LOL...... yep, like you. got no idea, and still waiting to find out myself.

For those of you who are old enough to remember the acronym, please sing along:

"Who's the leader of the band that's made for you and me?

M.I.C.K.E.Y - - - M.O.U.S.E.!"


This is my short-hand way of stating: "...and, all the other silly words and acronyms you might think of"
~J

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We claim that honor, respect, and trust are key components to a healthy bdsm M/s relationship

I get tired of hearing about these claims. These elements are important in any relationship, vanilla or bdsm. For some reason many think this lifestyle is special and blessed and highly populated with people full of honor, respect, trust, etc, blah blah. It's no more special than anything else.


edited for grammar

_____________________________

Look up, what do you see?
All of you and all of me
Fluorescent and starry
Some of them, they surprise

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ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

a Master should treat all His slaves equally, one is NOT more important than the other. using a slave, taking all that is offered to that Master regardless of the circumstances involved in their relationship dynamics, and singling out one slave in favor of another when that Master wants a polyrelationship, what of the other slaves that come in the picture? they too will notice such differental treatment. just because one is a slave, doesn't mean that they aren't human and have feelings and emotions, and expecting someone to be cold and lifeless when a Master wants a slave to be more than just a slave, but a friend and lover as well, is contridictory.

Please consider that not everyone is like you. People have different values and desires. A lot of vanilla people would call you sick or disturbed for wanting to be enslaved in any way. There are women and for all I know men also who devoutly desire the thing which you say is wrong. Will you accept that their needs and desires are as they are? Or will you call them sick, just as others would call you sick?

There is of course eventually a point where pretty much no one will dispute pathology, and many will want to help. For my part I don't personally believe that absolutely anything is okay between a given pair of people. But please be careful. Until you've met someone who embodies the thing you hate or fear or are disgusted by it is careless to condemn them or their desires or their way.

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

a Master should treat all His slaves equally, one is NOT more important than the other. using a slave, taking all that is offered to that Master regardless of the circumstances involved in their relationship dynamics, and singling out one slave in favor of another when that Master wants a polyrelationship, what of the other slaves that come in the picture? they too will notice such differental treatment. just because one is a slave, doesn't mean that they aren't human and have feelings and emotions, and expecting someone to be cold and lifeless when a Master wants a slave to be more than just a slave, but a friend and lover as well, is contridictory.

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ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

if a proclaimed "Master" continually hurts and lies to his slave without care or remorse, that "Master" in my eyes has never respected, cared, loved his slave, only used her for His own gain. where is the honor, respect, trust and integrity in that???

This is a rhetorical question, right?

Wonderingly:
~J

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It (Honour, Respect, Loyalty, Duty, Integrity, and Trust) is something which you have engraved on your heart and soul .. It is what you are.

I rest my case.

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained


what i am saying is to use a position such as that as a Master/slave to state that you want one thing "a true slave who knows her place" then state "that the slave serves not only as a slave, but as a friend and lover" is a mixed message.

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ORIGINAL: justheather

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained


what i am saying is to use a position such as that as a Master/slave to state that you want one thing "a true slave who knows her place" then state "that the slave serves not only as a slave, but as a friend and lover" is a mixed message.

I am reminded here of the story The Three Questions, by Tolstoy. Who is the most important one? When is the right time to act? What is the right thing to do? The statement you reference, in my eyes, is not contradictory at all. Sometimes my place is next to him, holding his hand. Sometimes my place is beneath him, offering what I have and trusting he will accept it. Sometimes my place is behind him, watching him and being reminded of the reasons I have made the choices I have made. Sometimes my place is in front of him, taking whatever hurt he wants to give me and saying Thank You. If a person finds herself unable to revel in any one of these places in any succession at any time, maybe she just picked the wrong guy.
There is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side.

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

if this was a vanilla situatiion it would be entirely different. but when there is Master/slave involved first and foremost a person is a slave to their Master, and that Master has the responsibility in making sure that all His slaves are loved, cared for, nurtured, and cherished all the same way. but when a Master uses the Master/slave relatiionship when he finds something that in His vanilla life He has been missing for his entire life, isn't He too suppose to separate the two as well? if one slave who has been established in their relationship sees and senses that the other slave who is new to the family is treated much more differently, more as a man/woman type of relationship first then as a Master/slave second, where exactly is that line of separation that the Master says must exist between all involved?

we are all human, we all have wants, needs, and desires that need to be filled and satisfied on a basic human level. how does one actually separate the two when that line becomes blurred and intertangled between a vanilla relationship and that of Master/slave? is it a do as i say and not as i do? what is good for one slave, should be good for another. in the vanilla world, this would be looked on totally different. in this kind of relationship, all the elements that i indicated should make the Master/slave relationship stronger more durable, not tear it apart.

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ORIGINAL: candystripper


Without Honor, Trust, Loyalty, Duty, Integrity, and Respect, no relationship -- not friendship, not anything -- holds any appeal for me.

candystripper[/font][/size][/color]

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained
a Master should treat all His slaves equally, one is NOT more important than the other.

It's impossible to treat people equally. It is possible to treat everyone with respect and honesty.

And for multi slave households, some slaves might be far more important for some things and other slaves might be far more important for other things.

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using a slave, taking all that is offered to that Master regardless of the circumstances involved in their relationship dynamics, and singling out one slave in favor of another when that Master wants a polyrelationship, what of the other slaves that come in the picture?

What of them? If they knew that was the situation before they got into it (which they should have) then there's no problem.

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they too will notice such differental treatment. just because one is a slave, doesn't mean that they aren't human and have feelings and emotions, and expecting someone to be cold and lifeless when a Master wants a slave to be more than just a slave, but a friend and lover as well, is contridictory.

Ah you assume masters WANT more than a slave.

Not all masters want friends and lovers in their slaves. Sometimes they just want slaves.

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ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

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ORIGINAL: slavetobetrained

if this was a vanilla situatiion it would be entirely different. but when there is Master/slave involved first and foremost a person is a slave to their Master, and that Master has the responsibility in making sure that all His slaves are loved, cared for, nurtured, and cherished all the same way. but when a Master uses the Master/slave relatiionship when he finds something that in His vanilla life He has been missing for his entire life, isn't He too suppose to separate the two as well? if one slave who has been established in their relationship sees and senses that the other slave who is new to the family is treated much more differently, more as a man/woman type of relationship first then as a Master/slave second, where exactly is that line of separation that the Master says must exist between all involved?

we are all human, we all have wants, needs, and desires that need to be filled and satisfied on a basic human level. how does one actually separate the two when that line becomes blurred and intertangled between a vanilla relationship and that of Master/slave? is it a do as i say and not as i do? what is good for one slave, should be good for another. in the vanilla world, this would be looked on totally different. in this kind of relationship, all the elements that i indicated should make the Master/slave relationship stronger more durable, not tear it apart.

Ok, I sense here that you are having problems with a change in your dynamic. The place to go for answers is to your Master. Nobody here who is not involved in your dynamic is going to be able to answer why your Master is handling things the way that he is.

That being said, we have a poly household here, and -none- of our servants/acolytes is treated the same. When they first come to us, we have no idea what the relationship will evolve into over time. We have certain basic standards that must be met, but there is no way to know which of our servants or acolytes we will come to be romantically interested in (if any) or which of the owners will have that romantic interest in which servants or acolytes (if any), how those romantic relationships (if they come into being) will change and shift over time, which servants/acolytes we will come to cherish in their service, which ones will become core family, and which ones will decide after a while to go a different way. All of those things will come with our YEARS of coming to know and cherish (or perhaps even love) one another -- love being something -entirely- separate from romance, and something that evolves over -time-!

We allow our relationship and feelings to evolve naturally, and with the goal of having all of us end up healthy and strong. If that means that a couple of us fall into romantic relationship, but another servant isn't part of that romance, we acknowledge up front that that -could- happen... that doesn't mean that even the ones who are romantically involved don't cherish the servants who aren't romantically entangled -- it just means that the -romance- part of the myriad relationship possibilities available to us isn't there. Since this dynamic isn't -about- romance for us, the romance is like whipped cream on hot cocoa... a nice bonus, but if it isn't there, the hot cocoa is still good... and if there isn't whipped cream, there may be something else... shaved chocolate, cinnamon sticks... The same in the relationship... there are a thousand permutations that all give luscious hot beverages... maybe no cocoa, but the spices and milk make luscious Chai.... it can be as different as our tastes, and the permutations of service and affection are endless. It also doesn't mean that just because someone chose cocoa today (was involved in a particular romantic relationship) that they would necessarily still want cocoa 3 months from now... perhaps tastes had changed and now -coffee- was the beverage of choice... or even iced tea... and maybe someone -else- in the household developed a taste for hot cocoa... There is no recrimination... only an ongoing sense of love and understanding for one another that means that when all of us are happy and healthy and care for one another, no matter what the permutations are that develop, we will all be fine.

Maybe that isn't what -you- are looking for, and that's fine... but it is impossible to judge or define another person's life or relationships by our own internal measuring stick if there is to be -any- hope of objectivity. If you feel that you are being cheated out of something in your relationship, for your own sake and the sake of the relationship, talk to the people who can -do- something about it...the people you are involved with. They don't have to be objective, and can address your own personal situation... but you cannot judge the validity of someone else's relationship, poly or monogamous, on your own hurt feelings and your perception of how those hurt feelings can be fixed -for you-. Nor is it a good idea to try to make other people feel guilty for not questioning what they have, because they are surviving and -thriving- in relationships that don't look right to you.

Lady Zephyr