RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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Real0ne -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/5/2006 11:31:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Maybe you should have gotten married younger. Now you have to go around looking for some old broad that won't take your money. Sucks to be you. Akasha haha you are always good for a laugh! i was married made 75% of the money paid all the bills, bought the cars and everything else, she banked hers, when divorce time came around she cleaned out the bank accounts, like 95% of the money and left me with paying off the bills. secondly i am quite happy, in fact i would rather be happy and single than partnered and miserable. think about that. do tell me about trust LOLOLOL

AAkasha -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/5/2006 11:35:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Maybe you should have gotten married younger. Now you have to go around looking for some old broad that won't take your money. Sucks to be you. Akasha haha you are always good for a laugh! i was married made 75% of the money paid all the bills, bought the cars and everything else, she banked hers, when divorce time came around she cleaned out the bank accounts, like 95% of the money and left me with paying off the bills. secondly i am quite happy, in fact i would rather be happy and single than partnered and miserable. think about that. do tell me about trust LOLOLOL Well, at least that explains why you are bitter, terrified of losing your money and unable to trust women. Regardless, unless you change your attitude, you probably should get used to that "single and happy" lifestyle. Without a better attitude and willingness to trust, women won't be coming around. You'll be forced to rely on your sunny disposition. Akasha

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/5/2006 11:48:03 PM)
Well, at least that explains why you are bitter, terrified of losing your money and unable to trust women. Regardless, unless you change your attitude, you probably should get used to that "single and happy" lifestyle. Without a better attitude and willingness to trust, women won't be coming around. You'll be forced to rely on your sunny disposition. Akasha =============== and THAT applies to ME! it is WHY..."I" have stayed out of relationships since 2001. i can NOT trust any female. so far.........SO FAR............"I" have YET to find one with enough sense to trust. but then,..like YOU women.. ya say all the good men are taken. well all the good women are too. to find a single woman with common sense is trying to find a 10 lb gold nugget on 1st avenue. i only find intelligent women that are already married. so THAT is WHY my dear Woman...that "I" like being a mean grouchy bitter s.o.b.--- better to be alone and happy than to be with someone and be miserable. good day

Real0ne -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/5/2006 11:51:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Well, at least that explains why you are bitter, terrified of losing your money and unable to trust women. Regardless, unless you change your attitude, you probably should get used to that "single and happy" lifestyle. Without a better attitude and willingness to trust, women won't be coming around. You'll be forced to rely on your sunny disposition. Akasha nah nah........ you are so presumptuous. everything is black and white for you. like i always say, when you graduate from black and white you find grey, and when you are good you find life is quite colorful. If you want to know about me all you need do is ask. i will tell you. you really dont have to be presumptuous and level erroneous accusations against me you know. i have been in trusting relationships since my divorce and just because i am well educated in the ways of deceit and scam hardly means i am bitter. whats negative is that you always seem to think the worst of people telling me i am bitter and a haost of other things all of which were totally wrong, so i cant help but laugh frankly. oh yeh i have to add that is so tru veronica! i know a married domme that could own every inch of me. the key word here married. you are so right finding women who have their feet on the ground are exactly like finding a gold nugget on main street. and even more difficult if you are looking for a domme!

cloudboy -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 6:52:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML and THAT applies to ME! I don't know why its so controversial: men wanting to be in a relationship that's not contingent on syphoned income, money, tribute, or gifts.

Arpig -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 10:54:03 AM)
For a slightly different perspective....when my pet and I were discussing our living arrangements, it was decided (mutually) that as my submissive she would surrender control of her money to me. What I did with that control was to establish rules.... #1. She was to start saving...she is young and has many years ahead of her to save for her old age (unlike me). #2. her savings would be kept seperate from mine #3. She was to make sure that our bills and rent and so on was paid. #4. Whatever was left over was mine to do what I want with. I have had access to her bank account for a long time, and the only times I have ever accessed it was to check her balance when she wanted to know it, and once to accept a money transfer that was sent to her, but she was unable to get to a computer to do so herself. Why did she give me this access? Well I suspect that on at least one level she got some satisfaction as a submissive by doing so, but mainly she did so because she trusts me. Could I abuse it? Yes of course I could. But giving yourself over for control, allowing another to have the power to abuse you if they chose to is the essence of submission. And accepting that power and not abusing is the essence of responsible domination. I agree that TPE involves everything, money, possessions, transfer of title to real estate...everything...it is total power exchange. That being said, there is nothing wrong with wanting something other than that, and equally there is nothing wrong with wanting that. And as to if tribute makes one a hooker....its still as simple as it was when i posted the answer a long while back in this thread. I attach no opprobrium to the term hooker, it is simply a word that describes a certain method of making money. I have no moral issue with that method, but for the sake of those who do have an issue with that word (political correctness is invading CM....a sad day indeed) i will use the term "sex-trade worker" (shortened to STW because I am lazy). If you require money/gifts in exchange for giving somebody sexual pleasure then you are a STW, regardless of the services rendered, or the legal definition of prostitution in your jurisdiction (in Canada prostitution itself is legal, its discussing the price that isn't "Communicating for the purposes of prostitution"... Its legal to pay somebody for sex, just not to ask them how much or to offer it...yeah I know...we have some VERY weird laws here). If you aren't happy with that fact, tough, it is still a fact. I have no problem with anybody being a STW, nor would my opinion of a person change if they were hooking (sorry, meant "working in the sex-trade"), I just have an issue with people trying to justify it, or disguise it. quote: Please get your facts straight before you go about openly insulting women like myself who could tear you apart if need be. I do have my facts straight, and saying you are a STW is no more an insult than saying you are a person. It is simply a fact, and you choose to be insulted by it. I cannot control how you react to reality. And as to taking me apart....well dear girl, that really is no big accomplishment, I am pretty certain that the vast majority of people here on CM could do that, many with one or both hands tied behind their backs. I am glad for you that you live in a jurisdiction that allows you to do what you do legally, but just as what I do makes me a "help desk weenie", despite the fact that my title is actually "Advanced Technical Support Agent", what you call yourself in no way changes what you are. And again I emphasize, that to me there is no opprobrium attached to the term in my mind... what others read into it is beyond my control. Now lets all be happy...and those who get the tribute get to buy the next round...because as usual I am broke.

Real0ne -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 12:18:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig For a slightly different perspective....when my pet and I were discussing our living arrangements, it was decided (mutually) that as my submissive she would surrender control of her money to me. What I did with that control was to establish rules.... #1. She was to start saving...she is young and has many years ahead of her to save for her old age (unlike me). #2. her savings would be kept seperate from mine #3. She was to make sure that our bills and rent and so on was paid. #4. Whatever was left over was mine to do what I want with. I have had access to her bank account for a long time, and the only times I have ever accessed it was to check her balance when she wanted to know it, and once to accept a money transfer that was sent to her, but she was unable to get to a computer to do so herself. Sure thats a very good thing you are doing for her, especially if she had none before. On the other hand however, 5 years from now you could clean out the account and then dump her. i am not suggesting you would i am pointing out that you could, and legally she could do nothing about it. i would never submit to an open ended deal like that. i am not sure any more which post it was in but i am waiting for dusty gold to list her methods too, simply because most of the dommes i have seen that are not reasonably well off to start with tend to offer at best an inadequate plan to protect both the earnings and savings of the slave that almost always sounds great on paper until you dig into exactly how it is all used only to find there are little niches open for milking. on the other hand dommes that are more well off want tpe and you control your own account where she has no access to it and at most she acts as a monitor and limits your spending of the money and checks to insure the right amount is going in each week rather than overal control where she can also spend. and rent/utilities are shared. i was interviewing with a fem domme couple once and they wanted me to pay 1400 bucks a month. Hey great package insurance and everything! Only one small problem is that i can buy a house where they live pay taxes insurance and health insurance for that price and own it!!!! DUH What i have found is that as soon as a male sub signs on even if things are above board they often times dont stop at cost of living. they start looking around and oh this couch is really old and needs to be replaced does the domme pitch in? no. then when that is done oh and the bed, then draperies, new carpet, and does the domme pitch in? no. virtually nothing goes into the savings account of the slave because you are refurnishing the house for her. Of course those furnishings were good enough when she had to pay but now that she has her tpe slave sugah daddy he gets to buy it all new for her!! then as time goes on like most bdsm relationships unfortunately are short lived, out the door they go and of course she keeps all the new furniture and he gets what patti shot at. the sad fact is that many of these dommes out here are looking for a meal ticket in one way or another and like anyone who operates in those terms they know every way in the book to milk it out of you. There are just so many ways for someone milk or screw another and i wont have anything to do with them unless they are willing to fully protect me. period. if i do not feel protected and safe how could i possibly serve under thos conditions. There are many ways to take control away from someone financially without allowing a domme to have access to spending. Since this is the case any domme who requires the need to have spending immediately raises a big red flag! anyway i do love hearing peoples setups, i assume you would never do anything like that to you sub but be rest assured there are many out here who would!

MichMasochist -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 2:26:49 PM)
You know, once apon a time I too had the happily ever after fantasy. After learning the hard way my perspectives and dreams have significantly changed. No longer do I beleive such silly non-sense. Just enjoy the day tomarrow she will begone. Should I shack up with someone again, the costs are to be split fifty fifty on everything. She would have her money, her own accounts, and I would have my own. But then again I'm probably foulin' myself yet again.

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 3:07:02 PM)
You know, once apon a time I too had the happily ever after fantasy. After learning the hard way my perspectives and dreams have significantly changed. No longer do I beleive such silly non-sense. =============== whoops there it is!

Real0ne -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 5:12:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MichMasochist You know, once apon a time I too had the happily ever after fantasy. After learning the hard way my perspectives and dreams have significantly changed. No longer do I beleive such silly non-sense. Just enjoy the day tomarrow she will begone. Should I shack up with someone again, the costs are to be split fifty fifty on everything. She would have her money, her own accounts, and I would have my own. But then again I'm probably foulin' myself yet again. yes unless of course her assets are equal to yours and accounts are joined, that works too. you are right about the happily ever after fantasy. Most of the revolving door relationships i have seen are based on bdsm primarily, so of course if one person, especially the slave starts to feel caustraphobic and needs to take a breather, well to bad so sad, not in the contract, out the door they go. However relationships based on companionship and love tend to last much longer because in the end they have something more than a worthless peice of paper to fall back on.

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 5:19:55 PM)
However relationships based on companionship and love tend to last much longer because in the end they have something more than a worthless peice of paper to fall back on. ========= tell THAT to my 3 ex wives, will ya?

Real0ne -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 5:23:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML However relationships based on companionship and love tend to last much longer because in the end they have something more than a worthless peice of paper to fall back on. ========= tell THAT to my 3 ex wives, will ya? what was the longest and shortest veronica? (if i may be nosy) mine 1 was 9 years

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/6/2006 5:43:25 PM)
shortest 6 months longest 8 yrs

UtopianRanger -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 5:44:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Real0ne quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Maybe you should have gotten married younger. Now you have to go around looking for some old broad that won't take your money. Sucks to be you. Akasha haha you are always good for a laugh! i was married made 75% of the money paid all the bills, bought the cars and everything else, she banked hers, when divorce time came around she cleaned out the bank accounts, like 95% of the money and left me with paying off the bills. secondly i am quite happy, in fact i would rather be happy and single than partnered and miserable. think about that. do tell me about trust LOLOLOL Having friends who are paying exorbitant child support and having experienced a similar situation re : The sell-off/redistribution of assets, I have a tad bit of empathy for you... But on the other hand, why keep complaining about it? Why not go out and find a smart, educated, career-minded lady, who would never need your money in the first place... I PROMISE YOU... they are out there! Set it up so she does her thing with her cash and you do your thing with yours. And hell… times have changed, who needs to sign a piece of paper these days…isn’t that old fashioned? They're not going to just show up on your door step... and you'll probably have to go through a few in order find what you want... but the bottom line is that they are out there, and it just takes a little hard work and patience to find them... Change your thinking and stop focusing on all the trollops. Again, Good luck. - The Ranger

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 7:11:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold There are three different dynamics playing out here. 1. The Ladies who want money sent to Paypal before they will even talk to a submissive boy. 2. The Ladies who offer Pro Domination Services, and are paid for specific services rendered. 3. The Ladies who are Lifestyle Dominas seeking a TPE long term or lifetime relationship with a submissive boy who will become owned property and be Her slave. TPE includes control of the money. Let me add one more to that list, because none of the above fits me and my boy. 4. Ladies who are Lifestyle Dominas, seeking a TPE long-term or lifetime relationship with a submissive boy who will become owned property and be her slave. Lady will place boy (who has professsional skills of that nature) in charge of some, but not all of her money. Boy will be responsible for controlling his own money and the joint household account (which covers bills, groceries, etc.) -just not the Lady's personal discretionary spending account. Boy will provide Lady with a monthly report. This would be no different if I'd hired the services of a personal accountant. This is how it worked for 6 years with my former sub. And I see no reason to do so differently, when I have proven that this works for me. Although everyone has their own take on it, for me (which is really all that matters in my situation) I feel more powerful if I have someone who is responsible for managing the household money (and accountable to me for it), than if I have to do it myself. And his money, is his money, and remains so. I don't think my taking control over it, whether directly, or indirectly by expecting him to provide me with reports, would give me more power in our relationship. Phoenix

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 8:20:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MysticalPhoenix quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold There are three different dynamics playing out here. 1. The Ladies who want money sent to Paypal before they will even talk to a submissive boy. 2. The Ladies who offer Pro Domination Services, and are paid for specific services rendered. 3. The Ladies who are Lifestyle Dominas seeking a TPE long term or lifetime relationship with a submissive boy who will become owned property and be Her slave. TPE includes control of the money. Let me add one more to that list, because none of the above fits me and my boy. 4. Ladies who are Lifestyle Dominas, seeking a TPE long-term or lifetime relationship with a submissive boy who will become owned property and be her slave. Lady will place boy (who has professsional skills of that nature) in charge of some, but not all of her money. I absolutley agree with you. There as as many arrangements as their are relationships. The reason I brought up those three is because this thread concerns (or is supposed to concern) whether or not tribute equals being a hooker. Anytime this subject hits the boards (which is quite often), it morphs from the "tribute seekers ("send money to paypal, and I will open your email")to the horrors of Professional Dommes (nothing should ever be charged by any Domina for any BDSM play under any circumstances. There should be no Pros! It sullies the beauty of BDSM.) to any TPE which involves control of finances (all or part) in a long term or lifetime relationship (I want to serve you Ma'am, and I will come live with you, but I only want to pay My share of the rent.) The lines become so immediatley blurred that anything to do with money in any fashion immediately becomes a form of "tribute" to many boys, and then the objections begin to fly. As The Ranger pointed out, what is the purpose of continuing to beat this dead horse? I am not taking away any boy's right to seek a relationship that makes him comfortable. Why do the boys have a need to take away a Domina's right to seek the power exchange relationship that makes Her comfortable? So get out there and find the lady who is going to be compatible with you. It might not be easy, but anything worthwhile usually takes a bit of dedication. And it's much more constructive than throwing temper tantrums on the public forums. The only reason I can see for the continual harping on this subject is to affect some sort of official attitude change by all Dominas regarding anything to do with finances, thereby making the boys' search a snap and taking away any need for due diligence and personal responsibility. Specific note to RealOne: I am not going to address My contract on these boards. Each situation is completely individual. If what I have shared is not sufficient to make My point, I doubt anything further would be. I am always happy to speak in generalities, but I prefer not to lay My life out in the forums just to make a point. I wish you the best.

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 11:24:46 AM)
Let me add one more to that list, because none of the above fits me and my boy. 4. Ladies who are Lifestyle Dominas, seeking a TPE long-term or lifetime relationship with a submissive boy who will become owned property and be her slave. Lady will place boy (who has professsional skills of that nature) in charge of some, but not all of her money. Boy will be responsible for controlling his own money and the joint household account (which covers bills, groceries, etc.) -just not the Lady's personal discretionary spending account. Boy will provide Lady with a monthly report. This would be no different if I'd hired the services of a personal accountant. ========= HOT DAMN! i wish i had that easy life. i aint got a cent to my name. She got it all..just like my wives did. this is just like someone else on here said they only asked 10% from Her boy.. 10%? sheeeeet ....i give Her 100%...i aint spose to have nuffin to my name.. cant leave the property can't have no one in damn...must be nice...to be a REAL pet...having a fluffy life like that... whooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeee i'd be in hog heaven if i had more than 2 nickels to my name y'all take care, heah?

missnoir -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 11:47:03 AM)
I tried to go through this thread from the beginning and my mind is on overload! Obviously, this is not a black and white issue. So many heated posts and replies... Unfortunately, prodommes in general, have received a bad reputation from what appears to be a rampant part of our sector. There are many, many woman, young and old alike, that are indeed involved with this lifestyle for the financial benefits only. I would agree with every angry submissive on this forum in saying that people of this caliber are exploiting their clientele and tarnishing the art of feminine domination. However, there are still those of us who try to practice as purely as possible. I do receive tribute from some but not all of my submissives. Often times, a "client" who shares my company on business trips every other month, comes to form a bond with me and transitions into one of my personal slaves. I do not require those in my personal servitude to offer tribute and yet, many of them chose to do so regardless. however, I will be honest in saying that approximately half of the submissives who seek my guidance are not those that I would consider for extended service. These are the people who I would consider to be professional connections and nothing more. Although I may like their personality, their particular style of submission, or even their physical attributes, in whole, they are not the embodiment of what I desire. This sector of my following is informed of the above and continue sessions by their own chosing. In my opinion, these are the people that would otherwise not have their needs fulfilled or only have need for a professional arrangement. There is another sector of submissives, somewhat smaller in size, that does appeal to my long term desires. In many instances, these people seek me out for professional services and upon researching their backgrounds, etc., I am drawn to them. Often times, these very same potentials, attend one professional session and are immediately discovered and allowed to be a personal connection. I cannot stress enough that all those that obtain the services of a professional are doing so of their own free will. It works for them though it may not for you. Just because our society has decided that payment for services of this nature is unacceptable, does that mean we must accept that decision as fact? Why are such services prohibited? After all, a doctor gets paid to cure your ailments. A lawyer gets paid to plead your case. Need something a little closer to home? A liquor manufacturer gets paid to make you feel good. A personal trainer gets paid to make you look good. Why are we, as professional dommes, not able to do the same? Our government has yet to find a way to tax such services and maintain their moral forays. The answer is as simple as that. You may shake your head and plead foul but is it not true that alcohol prohibition was a part of our not to distant past? Taxation came about and surprise!, alcohol is suddenly legal. The same will eventually occur in the arenas of narcotics and yes, even prostitution and what some define as it's counterparts.

Arpig -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 11:47:47 AM)
quote: On the other hand however, 5 years from now you could clean out the account and then dump her. i am not suggesting you would i am pointing out that you could, and legally she could do nothing about it. You are absolutely correct, I could. And you are right again, she couldn't do anything about it legally (however her big brother is big...and I mean BIG![;)]). She has chosen to trust that I won't. Just as i have trusted her to not skim a few $100 every month into a different account I know nothing about. It is the trust we have in eachother that is the basis of the arrangement, without that trust it wouldn't have been entered into to begin with. quote: i would never submit to an open ended deal like that. This is entirely your right, and (and this is the key point to pretty much everything the Dommes you are arguing with have been saying) nobody is saying you have to, just that you have to if you want a relationship with them. Don't want money involved...find a Domme who isn't looking for that, MysticalPhoenix for example.

DiannaVesta -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 4:05:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WildSpirit2001 I would question the nature of the relationship. First let me say that IN MY OPINION SM equals transactional relationships and D/s equals emotional relationships. So is it an S/M or a D/s type relationship that you are seeking out a professional? Pay for SM is like paying for a massage, you are receiving the benefit of their expertise. Pay for D/s is a bit more complicated as you are attempting (IMO) to buy the emotional connection you would feel with a Dominant, or submissive, lets not forget about the pro subs out there. Final word, if it works for you who cares what others think? Trust and believe you are completely alone when the lights go out and you are made to answer to your soul for the mistakes of the day. Very good. I agree with this wholeheartedly. A professional session is just that- professional and as John stated it doesn’t require a commitment which is prefer by some. As for gifts and tributes… this debate is as old as time. Realistically I am insulted if a sub comes to my door empty handed. I think it’s just rude. If I was to go visit someone at their home I would certainly bring a gift. As a lifestyle dominant it’s part of my game. I enjoy being spoiled and pampered and this includes gifts. I don’t accept gifts in exchange for play. It isn’t tit for tat but what I expect from one who claims that they adore and worship me. Still there should be joy and sincerity in giving because he wants to. quote: ORIGINAL: Sensualips I recently met a gentleman for the typical looks-good-on-paper-but-lets-see dinner date. To my surprise, he brought a gift. I opened it to find a black leather studded bra and panty set. He described it as a tribute gift. I was taken aback and thanked him for the gesture but declined to accept it. It made me feel a little hooker-ish, considering no real relationship had been established. Of course, had it been in my appropriate size it may have been a harder decision... lol- that's funny! I would not decline or return a gift. If it didn't fit me I'd make him take it back and get the right size.

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