RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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DiannaVesta -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 4:29:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold If you don't need or want the sevices of a Professional Domina, don't write to Me. If you don't want to be a slave in a TPE relationship, don't write to Me. But don't disrespect Me because I have a certain view of how I live in this lifestyle. I am not saying you are wrong to be soured or cynical about the possibility of being taken advantage of. If your experiences tell you to be careful, that is fine. That is great! But don't jump down the throats of any Domina who states that money is a part of a TPE. Or any Domina who offers Professional services. You are entitled to your opinion. You are not entitled to shove it down My throat. And you are most definitely not entitled to accuse Me of being a "hooker" or a "scam artist", or any of the other denigrating terms you boys are all so fond of throwing around. Please note I use the universal "you" here. This post is not specifically aimed toward any one poster. [:D] lol- tell 'em! Lets face it... someone will always complain or try and set a standard. It all boils down to the relationship and what each persons expectations are. I personally prefer controlling money. In fact I prefer controlling everything. I am a smart business woman. I pay my own bills and I make my own money. I don't accept gifts because I need them... hell I can buy them myself. I expect them because I can. This is a very complex dynamic that can easily be misunderstood especially by one who seeks gratification yet feels that their servitude should be enough. In over 15 years in this lifestyle I can honestly say that I can count on one hand the men that came to me that were 100% ready to go ; emotionally, spiritually and sexually gave what I required. This doesn’t mean that if he gives me gifts that I’ll teach him all he needs to know but making a point. Training is training and it takes a lot of time. A good domina can waste many hours with email, calls, etc. only to encounter dozens of wanna be’s. I’m sorry I don’t have that kind of time nor will I take that type of risk. So if he wants my attention he’ll need to work very hard to get it and even harder to keep it. If he already knows what to do, great! If he doesn’t and expects me to teach and train him then he’s paying me for my time. This can be in cash, gifts, and service, whatever. If that makes me a hooker.. oh damn well. I have nothing against prostitution anyhow.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 4:41:06 PM)
quote: You are absolutely correct, I could. And you are right again, she couldn't do anything about it legally (however her big brother is big...and I mean BIG! ). She has chosen to trust that I won't. Just as i have trusted her to not skim a few $100 every month into a different account I know nothing about. It is the trust we have in eachother that is the basis of the arrangement, without that trust it wouldn't have been entered into to begin with. quote: i would never submit to an open ended deal like that. This is entirely your right, and (and this is the key point to pretty much everything the Dommes you are arguing with have been saying) nobody is saying you have to, just that you have to if you want a relationship with them. Don't want money involved...find a Domme who isn't looking for that, MysticalPhoenix for example. Now I'm going to star whining Only Arpig understands!... Okay, that's not entirely true as I have chat with or known a few men who actually do understand... I'm just whining because the chemistry thing has been amiss in those cases, and so am hoping for many more who do since I'm still single. M

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 6:06:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta Realistically I am insulted if a sub comes to my door empty handed. I think it’s just rude. If I was to go visit someone at their home I would certainly bring a gift. I think there is a difference between a hostess gift and a tribute gift. If I am invited somewhere for dinner or a party, I'll bring a small token gift for the host/hostess that says, "thank you for inviting me to dinner/your party". A bottle of wine, some sort of gourmet treat, a sign I found at the hallowe'en store that is a giant fake wooden arrow with dungeon on it (it was that kind of party, okay), flowers...Toys, lingerie or money are not what I'd call a hostess gift. My boy showed up at my door with his hands empty and gave me the a gift. He didn't find it online, or at the mall. It didn't cost a cent. He didn't need cash, debit, paypal or credit. But what he gave me is something I treasure more than all my worldly goods put together. He gave me himself, body and mind, heart and soul. The gift of submission is the greatest gift anyone can give or receive. quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig Don't want money involved...find a Domme who isn't looking for that, MysticalPhoenix for example. If my mailbox starts to fill up, Arpig...I'm a'comin after ya. and then Veronica said... quote: HOT DAMN! i wish i had that easy life. i aint got a cent to my name. She got it all..just like my wives did. this is just like someone else on here said they only asked 10% from Her boy.. 10%? sheeeeet ....i give Her 100%...i aint spose to have nuffin to my name.. cant leave the property can't have no one in damn...must be nice...to be a REAL pet...having a fluffy life like that... Everyone's situation is different, Veronica. In addition to the fact that the only thing I want from my boy is his submission and his service, my boy has other responsibilities, including civic duties and family ones. He manages several rental properties. If he had to turn over everything he owned to me and wasn't allowed out, I'd have to run all the errands for my own household, and then go fix their plumbing, change their lightbulbs, etc. Between those responsibilities and taking care of my own home (once I'm relocated) he's not going to have a fluffy pet's life. Which is good, because around my house there is already a fluffy pet, the cat is the alpha Dominant. The world is his cat toy, people exist to serve his every need, and he's rather sadistic-he bites. Personally, I think it stinks that your wives took everything that was't nailed down and then pried up the nails, but I've been taken to the cleaners by men, so it's not just a woman thing. Phoenix

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 8:14:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig If the money/cash/gifts/tribute (a rose by any other name, and all that) is a prerequisite to the relationship, then the one requiring the money is either a hooker (short-term) or a gold-digger (long-term). This applies regardless of the gender of the people involved. This is not about paying for dinner, or gifts given voluntarily. This is not about those involved in a TPE where the domme has total control over all the sub's money. It is about some dommes openly offering their (admittedly sexual) services in exchange for money. Some are honest enough about it to set hourly rates, and specific charges for specific acts, and others dress it up as "tribute", but in the final analysis it is a financial transaction in which the sub purchases the dominant's services for his/her sexual gratification. To me, a submissive's submission is all the tribute I need. And as to who pays for dinner...who the hell cares, if we want dinner and I don't have the cash, then she better pay, its either that or open a can of soup and see what's on tv....pretty simple really. I'm sorry but,how is paying a Dom/me for services any different than paying for a massage.I perform a service I get paid. My mechanic fixes My car...I pay him. That is not even close to being a hooker john scenario...There is a prerequite that I'll have to pay him.And while is may not be a personal relationship,hes worked on My cars for a while. Did you know Not all Pro Dom/mes require anything more than Servitude. No string house cleaning does that fit the catagory of hooker and john? Do you go to your job for free?You provide a service they pay you at the end of the week...There is no difference. In My personal life with slave bishop,its whoever happens to be holding the money pays.

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 9:35:56 PM)
Personally, I think it stinks that your wives took everything that was't nailed down and then pried up the nails, but I've been taken to the cleaners by men, so it's not just a woman thing. Phoenix ------- yes'M i got 1 blanket, 1 pillow, for the car then i got 1 fork, 1 knife, 1 spoon, 1 cup, 1 glass, and a garbage bag of clothes out on the lawn, with the deputy standing there,...and the rental agreement was in MY name no less. go figure, huh? i AM sorry for You...truely. any who way ya'all heah have a good day, okay?

seaturtle50 -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/7/2006 9:57:17 PM)
quote: Don't want money involved...find a Domme who isn't looking for that, MysticalPhoenix for example. If my mailbox starts to fill up, Arpig...I'm a'comin after ya. With all respect MysticalPhoenix, if the subs were to flock to you ... it will not be entirely *his* fault! [;)]

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 4:35:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seaturtle50 With all respect MysticalPhoenix, if the subs were to flock to you ... it will not be entirely *his* fault! [;)] I suppose not, but they'd not get anywhere by doing so. I'm busily training my new boy, as well as being on the waiting list for Veronica to get that cloning machine perfected. Phoenix

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 10:02:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig If the money/cash/gifts/tribute (a rose by any other name, and all that) is a prerequisite to the relationship, then the one requiring the money is either a hooker (short-term) or a gold-digger (long-term). This applies regardless of the gender of the people involved. This is not about paying for dinner, or gifts given voluntarily. This is not about those involved in a TPE where the domme has total control over all the sub's money. It is about some dommes openly offering their (admittedly sexual) services in exchange for money. Some are honest enough about it to set hourly rates, and specific charges for specific acts, and others dress it up as "tribute", but in the final analysis it is a financial transaction in which the sub purchases the dominant's services for his/her sexual gratification. To me, a submissive's submission is all the tribute I need. And as to who pays for dinner...who the hell cares, if we want dinner and I don't have the cash, then she better pay, its either that or open a can of soup and see what's on tv....pretty simple really. I'm sorry but,how is paying a Dom/me for services any different than paying for a massage.I perform a service I get paid. My mechanic fixes My car...I pay him. That is not even close to being a hooker john scenario...There is a prerequite that I'll have to pay him.And while is may not be a personal relationship,hes worked on My cars for a while. Did you know Not all Pro Dom/mes require anything more than Servitude. No string house cleaning does that fit the catagory of hooker and john? Do you go to your job for free?You provide a service they pay you at the end of the week...There is no difference. In My personal life with slave bishop,its whoever happens to be holding the money pays. I have to also note that not all submissives are allowed release. I'm pretty its called Orgasm Denial..... If there not getting sexual gratification its definitely not prostitution.

DiannaVesta -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 10:14:56 AM)
[/quote] I have to also note that not all submissives are allowed release. I'm pretty its called Orgasm Denial..... If there not getting sexual gratification its definitely not prostitution. [/quote] I like that idea.. take his presents and $$$ and deny him orgasm. Perfect!

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 10:49:24 AM)
as well as being on the waiting list for Veronica to get that cloning machine perfected. Phoenix ========= ya'all best ask MY Ms for Her permission coz She is highly possessive and jealous... good luck asking Her..i doubt permission is soon forthcoming.... but uh (blush) thank You

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 11:58:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML ya'all best ask MY Ms for Her permission coz She is highly possessive and jealous... good luck asking Her..i doubt permission is soon forthcoming.... but uh (blush) thank You You are welcome :) I do love to make a boy blush <G> No reason for jealousy, your Ms keeps the original, and as many of the clones as she wants (she could always rent them out for spring cleaning, home improvement projects, and the like), I just want one clone. I'm not greedy. Phoenix

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 1:43:30 PM)
You are welcome :) I do love to make a boy blush <G> No reason for jealousy, your Ms keeps the original, and as many of the clones as she wants (she could always rent them out for spring cleaning, home improvement projects, and the like), I just want one clone. I'm not greedy. Phoenix =========== lol my 1st Ms said She was gonna rent me out at $7 an hour to any Domme needing work done. only happened once. and no "I" didnt see one cent.. no one wanted to pay for work...they all wanted free services..

Jasmyn -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/8/2006 5:56:41 PM)
Excellent post.

MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/9/2006 6:09:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML lol my 1st Ms said She was gonna rent me out at $7 an hour to any Domme needing work done. only happened once. and no "I" didnt see one cent.. no one wanted to pay for work...they all wanted free services.. I just wrote and offered to rent you out to make my house sparkle once the pre-listing work is done and it's ready to be shown. $7 an hour is cheaper than Merry Maids. Phoenix

veronicaofML -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/9/2006 9:30:15 AM)
I just wrote and offered to rent you out to make my house sparkle once the pre-listing work is done and it's ready to be shown. $7 an hour is cheaper than Merry Maids. Phoenix ============= ah yes. well? here in wisconsin with THIS Ms..i aint allowed oput of the driveway...off the property w/o permission AND a damned good reason. i am here 24/7--non stop. i can't leave and no one can come visit..even if i knew anyone in wisconsin. been here 6 months..aint left this house yet past 7 minutes..alone. take care m,'Lady

lechat -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/10/2006 12:11:31 AM)
maybe not a hooker, but definetly mercenary! if someone loves the lifestyle. money shouldn't come into the equasion.

Jasmyn -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/10/2006 1:48:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lechat maybe not a hooker, but definetly mercenary! if someone loves the lifestyle. money shouldn't come into the equasion. So no one should write a book? host a website? or do fetish art? or publish fetish magazines? or run fetish and play parties? Or make or manufacturer bdsm gear? Or run bed & breakfast accomodation and private dungeons and profit from it? BDSM is an industry. Like it or loathe it. Pro domination is one aspect of something larger than itself.

openmindedslave -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/10/2006 4:21:45 AM)
When I asked this question some 17 pages ago , I had no idea that it was such a personal and emotional issue with so many on here. The directions and off shoots this guestion has followed , I have seen go from humor filled responses to down right heated and angry battling. I gather the result comes down to what your comfort level is in your involment with others in this life style. But in all forms of relationship, we naturally give something of our selves over to a spouse, playpartner. Mistress, or Prodom. Whether its our trust or a bank account, whether its our experience to a novice, or our friendship in times of trouble, the fact is we all give or pay in someway for what we seek. In return, we hope that we get back what we put into it... Good luck everyone and thank you for responding through out all these weeks

Jasmyn -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/10/2006 5:27:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: openmindedslave When I asked this question some 17 pages ago , I had no idea that it was such a personal and emotional issue with so many on here. The directions and off shoots this guestion has followed , I have seen go from humor filled responses to down right heated and angry battling. I gather the result comes down to what your comfort level is in your involment with others in this life style. But in all forms of relationship, we naturally give something of our selves over to a spouse, playpartner. Mistress, or Prodom. Whether its our trust or a bank account, whether its our experience to a novice, or our friendship in times of trouble, the fact is we all give or pay in someway for what we seek. In return, we hope that we get back what we put into it... Good luck everyone and thank you for responding through out all these weeks It has indeed drawn a lot of comment ;)

GoddessEllen -> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? (2/10/2006 5:44:15 AM)
Hello all I was reading what everyone has written and decided to enter my two cents. You see I am a Pro Domme and no I am not a prositute. The defination of prositute is "pros·ti·tute ( P ) Pronunciation Key (prst-tt, -tyt)n. One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts. One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose. Now one has to consider what a sex act is. In my defination it is oral sex and intercourse be it anal or vaginal. If you wish to get techical how about that man in the adult store who sells you a dildo or the one who sold you the condoms? Isnt the end result of that purchase an orgasm? I know it is thinking way out of the box but read what you have written. To call all of us prositutes just for taking tribute is being narrowminded, isnt that what we fight daily in this lifestyle. To be accepted for who and what we are? What is the difference if you were to take me shopping, or clean my home isnt that bartering? Isnt that in a way payment for services rendered? My equipment costs alot and so do my outfits and yoys and the whole persona that they come to me looking for. You see the men wh use pros on a regular basis cant serve any other way. I for one will not have a married sub unless his wife knows about me. How many of you out there preach honesty then allow a married person to serve you without their mates approval? How many of you require sexual servitude as a requirement to serve you? Too many if you ask me. I have 22 years lifestyle experiance when they come to me they know they will get what they need and hey if it costs them a few bucks at least they know they will get what they need. And no one is talking topping from the bottom here. This is about taking cash for play. So tell me how many of you that think we are all hookers can honestly say they never gave a Dom/me cash, presents, made a car payment or totally support them? I can tell you one thing, men who come to see me for whatever reason leave with the feeling they came for. And believe it or not my clothes stay on...... I dont have to resort to taking my clothes off to distract them from my inability to give them what they NEED. Yes I said need the ones i see arent the lets go and wank this is costing me a bundle. I send them to eros.com LOL. I have pasted this article i have read about what we just spoke about in essence but with a different spin. Hope you enjoy it and hey its my two cents. And before you judge me look long and hard in the mirror.. Bright Blessings The Goddess Ellen Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone thats so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you. I know I'm beautiful, I don't have to look in the mirror to know this; I know this because inside I feel it. Though I have been told my exterior is beautiful as well it's the inside that counts the most to Me. I know who I am, what I'm capable of and what I want and I am confident in myself. But anyone can have this, all you have to do is look out in the web to see the sea of beautiful woman who carry themselves with confidence and grace, the masses of young Barbie girls who claim themselves to be beautiful. Beauty does not make one Dominant of course though it's nice to look at, but what is with in one's soul and even that does not make someone a Good Dominant. I look out in that sea at page after page of Dominant Woman, most who are confident young girls. But confident is also not what makes a GREAT Dominant Woman. It's something good to have surely but it knowledge and how to use that knowledge is what truly is the icing upon the cake when you seek a GREAT Dominant Woman. The last cherry on top of that delicious cake and icing would be Experience. Experience is not something you get by being exposed to BD/SM for a short period, or reading a book or doing modeling shoots, it is exactly what it says, experience in your field. Without it all you really have is a plain ole cake. But the cherry that really makes it something special. And so it is with my confidence in myself, my experience, and knowledge that I know what I can give someone who is seeking Domination over them, perhaps masochistic desires or some bizarre kink exactly what they need. Confidence in my skin will tell me if someone needs to look else where his or her needs can be better met. I am not the most knowledgeable, the most experienced and nor would I ever claim to be. As there is always something new to learn and experience. It is why I continue to educate myself and explore new things. Life is an ever-growing experience. But when your down on your knees and your eyes look up, you will know that I can see into your soul, I can cause your pulse to race and I bring you to beg for more. Experience and knowledge as well as intuition give me these tools and I will use them as carefully as a surgeon uses his scalpel in surgery. Anyone can handle a knife but do they know how to use it? Something to think about when looking for the person you want tying you up or even to serve.

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