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RE: sub protcal - 12/2/2005 4:20:50 PM

arson982

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I am new at this and She is new at it to and she told me that she would make some mastakes

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RE: sub protcal - 12/2/2005 4:26:31 PM

IrishMist

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Wellllllll

I apologize, but I am trying real hard to swallow the, well, the sarcasm that is lodged in my throat right now.

Since you are BOTH NEW...there are to be expected mistakes on BOTH sides. YOU, as in just YOU...need to sit down and figure out EXACTLY what you want from this relationship...WRITE IT DOWN, in detail.

Then, you need to have HER let YOU know exactly what SHE expects from this relationship. HAVE HER WRITE IT DOWN, in detail.

There is no disrespect in wanting to know what the other expects, needs and wants. If she can not answer these for you, then all I can say is run...and run very fast.

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RE: sub protcal - 12/2/2005 4:33:23 PM

arson982

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Ok I will write her tonight and in a nice way to make things clear to me

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 4:58:31 PM

JohnWarren

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

How do I resond in a way the show her that I want to be her slave. To respect her. She did tell me that she is new at this.

To be quite honest, I'm not sure how someone could respond to a person who seems to combine ignorance and an unshakable belief that there is only one true way.

Now if I were talking to her, I'd point out when someone is new she should walk lightly and to try to see her slave's point of view. Unfortunately, I suspect that all I'd get would be one big explosion.

I'm not being sarcastic, but just why do you want to be her slave?

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 5:15:34 PM

shylittleheart

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I must agree with John Sir here, for i have a feeling there is no talking to her and she is perhaps just one who is her way or the highway. Perhaps Arson Id spend more time learning and researching on your own and find the one who not only completes your life but you complete theirs. Its a hard choice but to be honest id run fast and hard from someone who could not give me guidelines from the first. I maybe slave to my Master but He would never punish me for something I did not know or was never told. Not everything is self learned, they are to be our guides and teachers as well as a person we can look up to and respect and trust with our life. Can you honestly say you would trust your life to her so soon...........
shy

< Message edited by shylittleheart -- 12/2/2005 5:16:52 PM >

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 5:18:47 PM

arson982

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I have read alot and did a little research and I enjoy pleasing a woman. Also co you point to a web site that would have information new slaves and if this does not work out a website that I could find the right Mistress. I live in the Upstate of South Carolina

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 5:23:58 PM

shylittleheart

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arson you are in one of the best sites around for there are alot of experienced people here to help you. All you have to do is ask.

shy

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 5:29:33 PM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I have read alot and did a little research and I enjoy pleasing a woman. Also co you point to a web site that would have information new slaves and if this does not work out a website that I could find the right Mistress. I live in the Upstate of South Carolina

I don't think any website could help you because she seems to have rules she's made up herself. If she's not willing to give them to you, you don't have much of a chance

I'm not big on meeting people online. I'm not sure what you mean by "upstate" but there are a lot of groups in South Carolina. Just check the list on http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html.

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 5:38:09 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
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Arson, I feel like you're being set up to fail.

You're given a vauge list of rules to follow and told that for breaking one you can't contact her to ask for clarification of those rules.

I think one of the -first- things that one should do BEFORE agreeing to belon to someone is ask for a -clear- list of expectations. That is, before you agree to give yourself to someone get them to lay out what they want you to do for them, and how they will expect you to behave.

I don't mean you should get a be-all, end-all list. RElationships change. But she -should- be able to provide you with her expectations of you. Either that or you should sit down and hash them out together.

I am firmly of the belief that it is important to know what you're getting into. I think her asking you to "proove' you can be her slave without giving you time to have an open discussion with her is not a good idea. I believe you should sit down and -talk-. Have back and forth about both your expecations. If they match, -then- I belive there's a place to start. While we offer ourselves to serve, we are offering ourselves into relationships that will be mutually fufilling. How can you know if you will be fufilled if you haven't talked about what the relationship will be like?

Also, don't rely on webpages for information. They can offer you lists of "slave rules" and countless erotic encounters written out. They -cannot- offer you what -your- partner wants of you, nor help you communicate with her.

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RE: sub protcal - 12/2/2005 7:21:13 PM

BlueAngelSub

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Hello Arson,

If you did not spend enough time to know this woman you will never please her. If she did not instruct you in her protocol and what's expected of you then you should think will it be worth it to pursue her?

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RE: sub protcal - 12/2/2005 8:14:08 PM

perfection20005

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If she did not give you any protocols before you met, then, in my opinion, you couldn't have done anything wrong. Unless it was something that you wouldn't do to any person you first meet. She is the one who has to tell you what she wants and doesn't want. I would certainly question this woman and if she really is a good Mistress for you. Good luck.

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 9:15:24 PM

Misstoyou

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You are new, and she is new. Actually, that is often something I recommend for newbie male submissives, since it's difficult to find a Domme when you have no experience whatsoever. Learning together need not be a bad thing. And you've found someone real time. You can ask lots of male subs how difficult that is. lol

You might ask her to recommend a site she wants you to study. It might be a shortcut to see if you both are on the same page.

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RE: sub protocol - 12/2/2005 9:20:45 PM

arson982

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That is what I have done also would it be right for me to give Mistress what I think she is looking for. Also and this might have been the mistake that i made was telling her how hard I was while we where talking

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RE: sub protcal - 12/3/2005 6:10:24 AM

BlueAngelSub

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GMTA, Perfection2005

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 6:39:32 AM

arson982

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I tried your web site that you gave me but it would not pull up can you give me any more help. I am looking for a Mistress if this one does not work out

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 10:40:19 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I tried your web site that you gave me but it would not pull up can you give me any more help. I am looking for a Mistress if this one does not work out

Try the base address http://www.lovingdominant.org/ and then work your way to the essays. It works fine for me and there are no popups or other things that should cause trouble

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 11:14:59 AM

Archer

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Just another take on this after eading through it

quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

... what she said...

You are not to use friendly gestures to me in public unless - you have permisson to do so-

- Also you are not to talk about your erections and episodes of cumming unless you have been giving premission to do so -

- I t is an issue of protocal -

Speaking to someone about erections or climaxes unless you have known them for awhile or they have broached the subject first is stepping over the line of basic manners.
This may be what she was getting at.

Same can be said for touching, blowing kisses, attempting to take someone's hand and any number of other " Freindly gestures".

There are some basic manners things that I expect a person to know when they meet me, I'm not sure I would punish them for breaking the social rules I feel are pretty universal but I might insist they read a bit more on the subject before I continued to meet with them as well.
(ie if they can't speak to me on appropriate subject matter ir they cannot control their hands in a socially acceptable manner, I might not want to allow them more chances to develop/ continue bad habits aound me.)

Just another perspective on what possibly could be, as Paul Harvey would say, " the rest of the story."

In Leather

Archer

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 12:58:45 PM

arson982

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Then could you give me a place to go where I will beable to learn this.

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 1:07:27 PM

shylittleheart

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arson the site John Warren posted is probaly one of the better sites to read through. It is fact based and that is what you need. It is nothing one can learn over nite so relax and slow down. Sometimes one wants something to badly and we tend to make mistakes that can be avoided just by slowing down. Look into your area for groups to go to when they have a munch, and i believe that link to locate them was also given to you. It all takes time and you can not build a bridge over nite, it takes one piece at a time.

shy

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RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 2:09:46 PM

arson982

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I have found out that I have did something wrong and Mistress has email me in things to buy. So it is nice to know that she wants me to be hers. Also I would love to know why I am feeling so hipe up. I t was hard for me to sleep last night and I fell funy on the inside.

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