Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: sub protocol


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: sub protocol Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 2:37:45 PM   
ginawithaB


Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

Her what she said and I know that she is new at this to and can you share with me how I should write back to her
do need to discuss some issues that bothered me after our meeting-- i would like you to read more on protocol about Mistress /s relationships- You are not to use friendly gestures to me in public unless - you have permisson to do so-- Also you are not to talk about your erections and episodes of cumming unless you have been giving premission to do so -- I t is an issue of protocal - If you wish to be my slave - i must insist that you adhere to this-- while i know you are very new to the lifestyle - i feel it necessary to tell you-- when you don't comply - i am not able to help or direct you in the appriopate manner-- this is a must for me-- if you change your mind - i will understand- as your punishment for these infractions- you are NOT to call me this weekend-- i feel you you need to do this research in order to comply with our relationship-- If you want it to progress-- you can e-mail- if you wish to continue- but i will not be available to speak with you- this weekend


Hello Arson,

I'm really hearing your having a hard time with this, but I'm really confused about something and I mean you no disrepect, but how long have you two been together? I ask because I tend to think you'd have to be kinda familiar with someone to be talking to them about erections and orgasms in public...

Is it possible this is not so much an M/s protocol issue, but rather a "there are just some things we don't talk about in public, especially around the vanillas" thing? And what "friendly gestures" is she opposed to in public? And was she really clear about it from the start? Is she really clear about what she wants from you?

There are many blanks that need to be filled in here, at least for me, in order to understand what's going on in your situation and to be able to offer help. Take it easy.

gina



Sorry, didn't realize this thread was 3 pgs long...backtracked and got some of the answers to my questions.....

Archer expressed basically what i was thinking...and re: the website Johnwarren posted, you have to cut and paste it from here into your browser and delete the period...or click on it, it'll pop up wrong, then delete the period in the browser. It should get you there.

< Message edited by ginawithaB -- 12/3/2005 2:45:30 PM >

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 2:43:58 PM   
arson982


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline 		That is what happen I said something that should have not said when we first meet.

(in reply to ginawithaB)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 2:56:51 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I have found out that I have did something wrong and Mistress has email me in things to buy. So it is nice to know that she wants me to be hers. Also I would love to know why I am feeling so hipe up. I t was hard for me to sleep last night and I fell funy on the inside.


arson,
I was shocked just now when I read your age on your profile. I fully expected to see that you were 18 and barely 18 at that. You are a 47 year old man and although you may be new to this lifestyle, surely you are not new to life. "felt funny on the inside" what does this mean? Mistress has emailed you on things to buy? What does this mean? Is this part of your punishment for doing something that you didnt know was wrong? Are you now expected to buy her things to make up for your "wrong" doing? You sound positively helpless in your search for knowledge. Even if you are brand new to this type of lifestyle, surely you haven't lived 47 years under a rock. I dont know whether to chastise you for being so naive or to commend you for making it this far in life without being killed. Good luck to you either way.

_____________________________





(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 2:57:19 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		What was it?

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 3:10:25 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982
I have found out that I have did something wrong and Mistress has email me in things to buy. So it is nice to know that she wants me to be hers. Also I would love to know why I am feeling so hipe up. I t was hard for me to sleep last night and I fell funy on the inside.

arson,
I was shocked just now when I read your age on your profile. I fully expected to see that you were 18 and barely 18 at that. You are a 47 year old man and although you may be new to this lifestyle, surely you are not new to life. "felt funny on the inside" what does this mean? Mistress has emailed you on things to buy? What does this mean? Is this part of your punishment for doing something that you didnt know was wrong? Are you now expected to buy her things to make up for your "wrong" doing? You sound positively helpless in your search for knowledge. Even if you are brand new to this type of lifestyle, surely you haven't lived 47 years under a rock. I dont know whether to chastise you for being so naive or to commend you for making it this far in life without being killed. Good luck to you either way.

i thought the same as you on the buying things, but when i read it again, i took it to mean possibly buying certain books to read up on things. who knows? i do think along with others who have brought it up, that there are certain things and gestures that aren't appropriate no matter the dynamics.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 3:25:19 PM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I am quite curious as to what she has told you to buy? Move slowly arson, you may just be wanting it to badly. Also what were your other relationships like with other females?
Just wondering,
shy

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: sub protocol - 12/3/2005 6:44:07 PM   
arson982


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline 		As far as what Mistress wants me to buy a butt plug, a purple bag, and womans underwear. She want me to have the butt plug in me twice a day for 15min

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: sub protcal - 12/4/2005 6:44:31 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		it is easy for a new sub to get set up to fail by a Dom/me,who is just a player.
may i suggest that you RUN..........
keep your sanity intact,
and learn something from this w/out being too hard on yourself.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 6:29:37 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline 		If I'm reading this correctly, your Mistress is punishing you for breaking protocol that the two of you never discussed? She's new, maybe she is under the incorrect assumption that there are universal BDSM rules that everyone knows about.

The rules are different for everyone. Some dominants require every submissive to address them with Sir or Ma'am, others believe that only an owned sub should do so. Fangs could care less what I call him as long as it's not late for dinner.

Has your Mistress's main source of D/s interaction been the internet? If that's so, you may want to mention (respectfully of course) that the online world of BDSM has many more rules than typical real time. Just something I observed over the years.

Being punished for something you didn't know was wrong is, in my opinion, a mistake on her part. The better thing to do would have been telling you SPECIFICALLY what you had done wrong with the promise of punishment if you ever do it again. Bieng punished for things that you don't know are wrong is only going to lead to you being a very confused and feeling like you'll never please her which will probably just make you frustrated and eventually you'll just stop trying.

It sounds like you and your mistress need to sit down and establish the rules. As she thinks of new things she would like implemented, she should make sure you are aware. If she can't/won't do this, I would suggest moving on. Communication must be a part of any relationship, especially a D/s based one.

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 6:45:59 PM   
arson982


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline 		I found out what I did and I understand what i did was wrong. What I did and I know that if I was my fiirst date with any other woman I would have not told them that I had a hard on. I was being a Gentleman. We have meet and we have talk. It is like this I am a part of her with her or away from her. So I learn that I need to be a gentleman at all times.

(in reply to liltxsubby)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 6:56:59 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Aw, for fuck's sake.....

I am being punished myself. I have been denied blowjobs. Are any of you willing to walk me through this?

Sorry for your unjustifiable circumstance, arsonist.

LOL
Ron...

It is fun tho, eh?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 7:10:13 PM   
arson982


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline 		I was wondering what you did

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 7:20:39 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline
quote:

I am being punished myself. I have been denied blowjobs. Are any of you willing to walk me through this?


Well, look at how much worse it could be. You aren't having to masturbate with sanpaper lik some other poor sub on the site. YIKES

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: sub protcal - 12/8/2005 10:01:27 PM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		Just another question arson in how many more rules are going to come out of the wood work you know nothing about and then receive punishment for doing wrong and then posting again confused and left wondering about.
Either run like hell and learn more or as you are both learning then best to make a list you think of and the Dom do the same and discuss them all so each understands things more.
May be she should do some posting here to get a few answers also to help her along the journey and for help in it all as well.

_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to liltxsubby)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: sub protcal - 12/9/2005 1:42:03 AM   
Onknees5858


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		I heard the word sandpaper ?

A little cross posting...I finally used the sandpaper and even came with it...with some scratches, now my skin is dry and rough...

Arson982 you cant be guilty if you dont know the rules. So email your new mistress asking for exact rules and promising you will obey her better next time if you know what you expect from her.

(in reply to liltxsubby)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: sub protcal - 12/9/2005 4:30:33 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I found out what I did and I understand what i did was wrong. What I did and I know that if I was my fiirst date with any other woman I would have not told them that I had a hard on.


You told her you had a hard on... 'shakes head'. No wonder she was offended. Most girls would be...

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: sub protcal - 12/9/2005 7:08:08 AM   
Onknees5858


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I would have not told them that I had a hard on.


So now you have to propose her to buy a chastity cage and give her the keys No hardons anymore

(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: sub protocol - 12/9/2005 8:19:51 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		If you really want to continue the relationship then write to her and ask her to be more defined in her expectations. You cannot read minds so it is up to her to inform you of her expectations. You might mention that you consulted the boards of CM and sought advice on how to handle it...might prompt her to do sme self education.

Best of luck

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to arson982)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: sub protcal - 12/9/2005 9:49:53 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

quote:

ORIGINAL: arson982

I found out what I did and I understand what i did was wrong. What I did and I know that if I was my fiirst date with any other woman I would have not told them that I had a hard on.


You told her you had a hard on... 'shakes head'. No wonder she was offended. Most girls would be...


Most girls would be, but how about a Mistress? I ALWAYS want to know how My submissive is feeling, what he is thinking about and such, because it helps Me to get to know him better. This wasn't a "first date" IMO, it was him meeting his po-Mistress, and IMO vanilla rules do not apply here. There are many times a po-submissive has told Me that they are excited or that they have a hard-on, do I get offended? No. It should go without saying that of course he is going to be excited, he is new and meeting what could be his fantasy come true. I would be worried if he weren't excited. Should he have told her how he was feeling, which he obviously did? Yes. IMO he did the right thing. Could he have worded it differently? Probably, but the end result is the same. He had a hard on. OMG stop the freaking presses. Big deal. Should he be punished for saying so? IMO no. In her opinion, yes he should, and she did what she felt was best for HER and for THEM. I guess I dont fall into the "most girls" catagory, because I would feel pleased that My submissive felt comfortable enough with Me to communicate how he felt, good or bad.

_____________________________





(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: sub protocol - 12/9/2005 11:46:53 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I'll stick to the "you can't obey rules you don't know about." During my 41 years in the scene, I've been to lots of parties and gatherings with all kinds of different rules. There is nothing absolute in the scene. Anyone needs to be informed about any special rules in place.

Oh, and word is protocol.

JohnWarren


i wondered whether anyone would get fed up with the misspelling, LOL. My opinion is that this is a very manipulative woman, who may be restricting your contact due to circumstances (such as married) that you have not been told about. i'd bet $5 she had decided to punish you before you met in real life.

i know the search is lonely and hard and we sometimes are tempted to forego a core value or two just to be in a relationship -- any relationship. i know well the physical and emotional hunger. However, i am old enough to know that being in a bad relationship sucks much more than being alone.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/9/2005 11:47:31 AM >

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: sub protocol Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094