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Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 3:11:40 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
Are you at all interesting in men who are not submissive at all, but are bottoms? Have you had experience with bottoms who were better at pleasing you, compared to a submissive that bottomed to you?


What about switches who were not submissive, but liked to be on the other end of the whip, or bondage play or sensation play?

I have never received an email on collarme from a man who identified as a bottom. Then again, I don't think I have ever received an introduction from a male bottom anywhere.   Where are they?

Akasha



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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 3:34:04 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		From what I'm seeing here on CM, I suspect a decent number are hiding their true stripes and posing as submissives/slaves because many feel that's a better angle to play to get a dominant female to fulfill their fantasies... I could be mistaken however... 

Edit for grammar...

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"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 3:42:08 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, I thought this was going to be about discreetly looking at a guy's ass when he walks by...............Nevver mind!

Edited to add that I have never been contacted by anyone identifyiing himself as a top.

< Message edited by catize -- 9/27/2008 3:44:39 PM >

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 4:29:24 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		AAkasha > I really do not feel or see myself as a singular role IE bottom  though i bottom quite often ,Switch does seem to work best  as a box checked"lol most boxes are checked"  as most people can in some way relate to its  basic definition .Also as far as not getting mail from this type of male , well i can only speak for myself .I do not mail people in general often , and i do not  troll mail the Female persuasion I prefer mutal attractions VS mass marketing  .Again just me speaking i tend not to be the order off the Top Domme menu type , i prefer an exchange and hope she does too .One of the worst things is just to be that hanging form of meat to  whip flog and tie , then see ya buubye .If i do not please Her and She is not  enjoying herself pre , during, and post exchanges and non BDSM activites  then why are we doing this .
my 2 cents , keep the change

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 4:46:23 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I would be enchanted if the many, many bottom players out there would just come out and say what they want and who they are.  It would save a lot of time and disappointment on both sides.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 4:56:47 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Lady Hibiscus > what about just getting to know a bottom and having that bottom say here and present  themselves to you .Not so much i want you to be a " service Top " for me and do X Y Z  and many other  letters in the alphabet , but rather  the two of you  enjoy your common bdsm ? Perhaps i am in agreement with your statement but with added words , i dunno . 

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 5:13:35 PM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Damn! I was lured in here under a misunderstanding, I like Brad Pitt's bottom.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 8:15:55 PM   
HandSolo


Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


I have never received an email on collarme from a man who identified as a bottom. Then again, I don't think I have ever received an introduction from a male bottom anywhere.   Where are they?

Akasha




Well, from perusing the fora here, I have gathered that bottoms are viewed in a dim light. Not twue submissives, just looking for kink, that sort of thing comes up pretty regularly. I think of myself as more of a (potential) bottom than a submissive, but, of course, CM doesn't list "bottom" as a role, so I'm a sub here.


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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 8:30:30 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		mals a sub male ...and yes im a bottom for my mistress  love strapon play and being fisted anally by her  geez how many times have i said that before ??  when she fucks me with the strapons gawd i love that being fisted if you love strapon play as much as we do ..have her try fisting you sometime ..i think its a amazing feeling once she slides in you women love anal sex but still cant believe why more guys dont come out and say hey it does feel good too ..oh well ..letting a woman have her turn with your ass is amazing ..cant believe how much i love it as much as i do  gotta have it at least once a week if not twice  wonder what it would be like to be in a 24/7 thing where she can take you 4 or 5 times a week ?? where do i sign up  have fun and enjoy ..mal

< Message edited by malloves69 -- 9/27/2008 8:31:59 PM >

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/27/2008 11:22:55 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


I have never received an email on collarme from a man who identified as a bottom. Then again, I don't think I have ever received an introduction from a male bottom anywhere.   Where are they?

Akasha




Well, from perusing the fora here, I have gathered that bottoms are viewed in a dim light. Not twue submissives, just looking for kink, that sort of thing comes up pretty regularly. I think of myself as more of a (potential) bottom than a submissive, but, of course, CM doesn't list "bottom" as a role, so I'm a sub here.



It's unfortunate that male bottoms are viewed in a dim light.  I am starting to wonder if I should "re-classify" myself as a female top in search of a bottom - more specifically, a bondage bottom, really.  It takes a great amount of skill to be a good bottom.  A bottom with a solid background and a sense of understanding femdom motivation is very, very attractive to me -- and in some ways, more appealing than a submissive - at least for what I seek in this point of my life. 

I guess because I'm already married, already have someone to 'serve' me. I don't want someone to follow orders massage my feet, kiss my ass; I want a physical partner who can endure bondage and other games and do it in a way to push my buttons.  I don't want a 'yes man' or a doormat or someone who is looking to be controlled in a deep level.  I realized that granted, a "submissive" is less likely to have an agenda - and if he just wants to please me, then surely, the motivation of power exchange is a good one.  And I can be quite commanding, demanding, authoritative, all that.  But really, what if I just want a hot bondage bottom who knows how to get into the head of a femdom? 

Bottoming does require skill.  It requires an ability to understand the energy between top and bottom and reading the top and understanding her needs and urges.  I would be fascinating to hear how pro submissives who work in a dungeon get a read on that and how they process what they do. It requires a skillset, indeed.

The nice thing about submissives is that if they are being honest, they do want to adopt to please their partner; but a good bottom also wants to be a pleasing partner, right?

Akasha


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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 12:23:43 AM   
HandSolo


Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The nice thing about submissives is that if they are being honest, they do want to adopt to please their partner; but a good bottom also wants to be a pleasing partner, right?

Akasha



Indeed, or at least, in my case. Of course, I have as a personal trait an undue degree of altruism in my personal life, which has led to being walked on more than once. It certainly wouldn't be distasteful for me to submit, although I am too independent/introverted by nature to be one o fthose who turns over their life to another person. I'd lean more towards setting "dates" for service.

I wonder, which is more fun, a sub that resigns to bottom solely for the pleasure of the top, or a bottom who submits to earn play time?


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I plan on leaving this world the way I came in: naked, screaming and by accident.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 4:24:56 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		agree too ...love pleasing my mistress  love the sparkle in her eyes ...the smile on her face ...her hugs and kisses too  after she has had her way with me  love pleasing her orally too ..when she wraps her sexy legs around me while im licking and sucking on her pussy and clit ...love when she cums too  when she squirts that truly is special ..its like getting a pat on the back for doing a job well done boy i crave being with her more then once or twice a week ..the lady is amazing i must say  seeing her on tuesday ...cant wait have fun and enjoy ..mal

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 7:11:25 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		Mistress appreciates my bottom.    In fact, I think she may be obsessed with it.  Everytime I'm within arm's reach of her, her hand seems to be drawn to it.  As a result, I am constantly fondlecated, groped, poked, prodded, molestified, and squeezed like I'm just a toy for her amusement! 
 
Seriously though, Mistress told me from the very beginning that she didn't want a bottom or just play partner.  She wanted a slave, someone she could mold and shape to fit her wants and needs best.

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Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 7:39:56 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've played with male bottoms: they are called my "friends with play benefits" and they have always been a very, very small group.

In general we use each other to learn a skill (knife play was my greatest top-bottom focus) and just have some fun for an hour or so a week. No sex, not emotional expectations beyond being friends.

This was great when I was starting out because it gave me, a new top, good practice.



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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 8:58:59 AM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Although I identify as a submissive, anymore I find myself falling into the role of bottom more and more.   As a Masochist and a submissive I can submit...or I can bottom with equal ease, but there is always a bit of both when I do.   I cant claim to be a pure bottom because I always want to please any Lady that I play with, and I never top from the bottom. 

For the last year I have been playing with a wonderful Lady who is local to me.  She is a novice and we became friends at our local munch.  After a year of getting to know her, she and I agreed to start playing with me bottoming to her in a mentor type role so she could literally "learn the ropes".  I make a good crash test dummy.   She can come to me and say...I would like to learn to do this...and I can give her pointers on how to go about doing something...saftey issues..etc..then let her go at it.  Once she is done she asks for feedback and any suggestions to help her perfect whatever she was trying out.  I am always honest and respectful when I give her that information.   I get the joy of helping someone learn about the lifestyle that I consider a close friend, and I get to play..but there is no power exchange except during play time. 

As others have already said...a good bottom has to have skill sets in order to do what they do.   As Akasha said...someone who can read a Tops needs..and understand their mindset and what it is they are seekeing from a situation.   I think any experianced bottom/submissive is capable of doing that..but can they "ham it up a bit"?  I will admit that you have to be able to ooh and ahh..and twitch and moan and gasp and cry sometimes at just the right times when you might not normally do so to feed the Tops energy and ego.  You have to be able to get your bottom space so they can actually take you to the places they want.    Bottoming is actually much more demanding of me than just submitting is.   I am not the sterotypical cold hard masochist..but bottoming is certainly less emotionally involved.   My Lady friend and I have genuine affection and concern for each other..but it isnt a Mistress/submissive bond.  I also would like to hear from anyone who is a professional bottom to compare experiances.  I am sure there is a major differance since I have only ever just bottomed to people I know and consider to be friends except for a couple of times.

In the end though...its still a service.  I still feel I am serving someone when I bottom to them because it helps them and gives them what they want.  So if that takes me out of the bottom classification and leaves me in the submissive one...I wont pout.

Regards to all,
Dils

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 9:07:12 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Lady Hibiscus > what about just getting to know a bottom and having that bottom say here and present  themselves to you .Not so much i want you to be a " service Top " for me and do X Y Z  and many other  letters in the alphabet , but rather  the two of you  enjoy your common bdsm ? Perhaps i am in agreement with your statement but with added words , i dunno . 


Sorry, I must not be speaking clearly anymore...  I would LOVE to meet a bottom player that actually came out and said, I just want to bottom, none of that "serving" stuff!  (and I have met a few! )  I think people who love to PLAY are great, and I wish that people didn't feel this need to fit into a dom or sub box.  What I meant by disappointment is those who present as submissive then turn out to be anything but.   After trying to pull off a deception, they come off as selfish, rather than confused, and mess up their future chances.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 9:16:16 AM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Are you at all interesting in men who are not submissive at all, but are bottoms? Have you had experience with bottoms who were better at pleasing you, compared to a submissive that bottomed to you?


What about switches who were not submissive, but liked to be on the other end of the whip, or bondage play or sensation play?

I have never received an email on collarme from a man who identified as a bottom. Then again, I don't think I have ever received an introduction from a male bottom anywhere.   Where are they?

Akasha



One is like taking am aimless, Sunday drive in the country..the other is actually getting to a destination.  It all depends on how you wish to spend your time.

< Message edited by MistresseLotus -- 9/28/2008 9:22:38 AM >

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I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 9:40:30 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I have met males at public events who identified as bottoms.  They made no bones about the fact that they were not a submissive, but strictly a bottom.  While I am in no way, shape, or form seeking a bottom for a long-term relationship, I have played with bottoms at public events.  Most of them seemed to lack the service orientation I have noticed with submissives, but some of them were fun to play with.  I did appreciate their honesty about who they were instead of them pretending to be something they were not.
 
I am not partcularly interested in males who are bottoms.  They sought me out, I didn't seek them out.  If I am at a public event, in the mood to play, and am approached politely by a bottom, I might take him up on his offer.  For anything serious, I would look elsewhere as they could not provide what I need mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
 
Lady Topaz

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 1:54:06 PM   
ArizonaProDomme


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		For the most part I dont think many of them get what a bottom is. I personally struggled off an on for a year and a half with My most favorite bottom...the struggle was based on O/our belief that he was a submissive, now that W/we get that he is a bottom it really wiped out the struggle. He is very skilled at playing to My reactions and I actually think thats what tricked Me if you will into seeing what he gave Me as submission...he was so good & fun. When I told him look this is how things are you are a bottom, he was like what does that mean and when I explained it, it made as much sense to him as it does Me and its greatly improved "us".

I think the long journey to accepting one's submissive or bottom desires tends to make them cling to being labeled submissive. I cant agree more that I really wish more recognized within themselves their bottomness lol and just said so.

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RE: Appreciating male bottoms - 9/28/2008 1:56:53 PM   
butchlynn1


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline 		i had a male sub once he was good 

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Profile   Post #: 20
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