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ORIGINAL: Quivver

I believe with all my heart that each individual relationship is unique, and will on it's own show and sometimes share the rolls of dominance and submission.  I dont believe this makes us all switches either, cause to choose requires intent, where as when left
to it's own course there will be a leader and there will be a follower or there wont be much of a relationship. 

For myself it depends on what role and place in life is offered up at the moment. 
At work many times my dominant side is what is sought out and my strength allows me to meet the demand. 
Other times that shoe changes requiring me to step back and follow. 

What separates this for me is the interpersonal relationship that contains sex.  I prefer to be submissive. 
So at this time what I am is a choice that I get to make, one that offers me what I need and want. 

So in my humble opinion Yes you can be both. 

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ORIGINAL: azropedntied

scarlet > for some this is not  a  lifestyle , not a choice to make , Sure there can be choices made through the journey , and knowing yourself better through  the  path your on  helps , but  some people are what they are .Does the leaf in the  river make  its choice on where it travels ?
On the other hand for some it is very much a  lifestyle  and they can do and pick and choose what they want , take off  and put on  as they wish , it can be left for years and picked up again .so Sure  discover yourself  and you shall  better answer that question for yourself .
best wishes .

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ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

I started off calling myself submissive because that it always what I had been expected to be (that and a bottom - but way back when I started online/in the scene, I wasn't familiar with that term).  I'm growing into my self more, getting more comfortable with the fact that I have a sadistic streak, learning how to enjoy that, being terrified of that side of me, generally learning it's okay to be and not be things according to what I want as opposed to what's expected of me.  Labels change as we grow, I guess, and we can redefine exactly what they mean to us, too.

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

My situation may be becoming more unique, since the way people come into BDSM has changed even since I started getting involved with the community 25 years ago (I've only been actively participating myself for 10 years, but I've provided pastoral care to the community for over 25). Not that either way is better or worse, but I know that this particular experience was valuable to me in many ways, and there aren't as many opportunities to -have- the experience these days, since it has sort of fallen 'out of favor'.

When I came in, everyone who came into our House came in the same way -- male, female, top, bottom, dominant, submissive... everyone came in through the 'service and experience' door. I was not the world's best servant -- I was willful, stubborn, occasionally argumentative... I did, however, take a damned good beating and -loved- vampire glove and needle play like you wouldn't believe. Not unusual in someone who has looked -forward- to watching techs draw blood or give an injection since I was little, and who loves being pierced and tattooed. We discovered that, while I was capable of service if I felt called for my own reasons, I was simply -not- good at it when ordered to it. Frankly, I wasn't all that keen on being ordered to -anything-... my whole life's history has been one of bucking the system and figuring out how to get around things I'd been commanded to do. *lol* However, I -did- value the people that I was dealing with, which is why I accepted the requirement when I entered the House... and to be honest, I did my best. It wasn't good, but it -was- the best I could manage.

I think everyone but me knew that I was getting my crop and manumission before I did. I'd almost become resigned to service. I'd made a promise, and it just isn't in me to break my word once someone has gotten me to actually commit and -give- it (I even had an 'escape' clause in my marriage vows... they were written "for as long as love may last", instead of "until death does you part", because I refused to promise something that I couldn't guarantee for the rest of my life.) But I -did- promise to serve the House faithfully until the point where I had been deemed suited to carry the crop of a Keeper -- something entirely at the discretion of the ones who were -my- Keepers during my "apprenticeship".

I learned some truly valuable lessons about myself and about the choices I was making even when it seemed that there was no choice to make. I think these choices were so apparent to me because there was such a distinct line between what I -wanted- most days, and what I had sworn an oath to do. I learned that, no matter how much you want something, having it can sometimes be a huge burden, and that accepting the burden makes the bounty that much more sweet.

Once I'd been raised up and had accepted my crop, I found that the experiences had real benefits when dealing with servants as a domina in the household. I also realized that I am -not- a happy camper when life becomes too complacent and quiet. I am an intensity hound and chaos magnet -- and it works for me. Spending time in that apprenticeship stripped away many of the lies I told myself over the years. For that reason, I think I will always appreciate the opportunity to travel that very steep, rocky, painful road.

Calla Firestorm

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ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild

In the past when i have been burned i have found that dominant aspect on the rise. Being dominant is something i use to great effect in my professional life but my core self is submissive....yet i am an alpha female slave and could only ever dominate another woman never a man. i have tried it and it did not bring me any satisfaction. i tried it because i loved the man and that is why.
i'm just me....therefore i can switch if told to......does that answer the question?

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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you feel “being in charge” of domestic responsibilities is affecting your submissive relationship perspectives, there is an awesome book about this topic called The Surrendered Wife.  It has workshop style exercises to remind you of your submissive role while maintaining “control” of the house and/or kids.  It may help you find balance and give you the tools to maintain it.