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master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:03:20 PM   
forhim


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		my master just announced his taking of me on his profile but has not answered my emails, seen me or spoken to me all weekend

hes not interested right?

why bother to change the profile then?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:13:50 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		One weekend???

Honey, maybe he's simply busy.




(in reply to forhim)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:19:42 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		and maybe he should not have 'claimed' a long distance sub and immedeatly gotten 'busy' without an explanaiton.
When a guy takes you out and does not call you all the next week, do you say, 'well, maybe he's busy?'
If you are interested in starting a relationship, you put energy into the front end, where you are getting to know each other.
If he is too busy for you while you are his new toy, that does not bode well for the future.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:20:21 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		While it would have been perhaps a good idea for him to communicate the fact he was or was going to be busy or unavailable, I would stop reading all sorts of evil messages into his not contacting you. We're not even to SUNDAY yet!

Life happens, sweetie, even to D-types and they're not always going to be available 24 hours a day. Relax and keep yourself busy doing your own stuff.

And I highly doubt he would have announced your collaring to the world if he wasn't interested.

Be sure to COMMUNICATE with your Master that you'd like him to keep you updated. Even with a short line like, "got your email but I'm swamped".


_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:25:05 PM   
erebus


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline 		I agree.  A couple of days isn't long.  However, the anticipation you are probably feeling can make you quite anxious.  If he doesn't contact you in a day or so, why not contact him and ask what is going on?

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 9:25:57 PM   
greyjay


Posts: 72
Joined: 2/7/2008
From: South Korea
Status: offline 		If he's interested, he'll be in touch.  Is he local or long distance?  give us a bit of background, how long have you both been talking?...that sort of thing.

_____________________________

So this guy walks into a bar, and says, "Ouch!"

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 10:31:54 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Uhhh... yeah... "all weekend"???  So basically, less than 24 hours.  I would suggest a discussion of how often you will be communicating, because if you're in a panic after less than 24 hours, things are not looking too good for you for the future.  Not because of him, but because of your reactions.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to greyjay)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 10:48:24 PM   
faithbunny


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: forhim

my master just announced his taking of me on his profile but has not answered my emails, seen me or spoken to me all weekend

hes not interested right?

why bother to change the profile then?


Sweetie, take it down a notch. Clingy is not a good look. You had a life before you met him; go have a life. He'll be in touch, and it'll probably go a lot better if you say, oh, I missed you, what have you been up to, instead of, OMGwherehaveyoubeendon'tyouwantmeanymore????  

I've been there--I've got some killer abandonment issues--but once I found out the hard way that I really am capable of living without my beloved if I have to, I got a lot less needy, and now that we're back together I think it's easier on both of us that I don't need so much attention and reassurance to get through the day. He loved me before, but I think he likes me better now. ; )

~faith

(in reply to forhim)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 10:53:45 PM   
JumpingJax


Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

You know it is possible that his internet went down. His computer fried. Bad storm knocked out the power.

Had an unexpected family member that needed help with something that dragged him away.

Had his boss call him in to work unexpected.

got drunk at a friends house last night and can't find his keys????



Well tons of possible reasons. Give it a week or so and see what happens....

(in reply to faithbunny)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 10:57:36 PM   
sistermargaret


Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline 		Humm, newly collared, huh? Don't some of the rules change with a collar? i mean, Y/you are at a different level now, so maybe the play will be different now too. Maybe He expects You to feel a bit more secure now, better able to endure faithfully in His absense. Maybe He's testing you. Maybe He got into a terrible accident and is lying in a ditch someplace moaning your name .... oops, soap opera, never mind ;)
i do understand how you feel. i've felt that same way too, and it is a feeling of utter panic. Relax, breath, and have faith that all is well. Give it three days before you send the cops out looking for him.
sm
 
All it takes is absolute surrender

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: master ignores after claiming - 10/4/2008 10:58:08 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I noticed you have yourself labeled as a dominant female  ...do you tell your subs where you are every minute of the day????

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to faithbunny)
Profile   Post #: 11
Cmon! - 10/5/2008 1:04:43 AM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		Let me clue you into something: many of us have other things in their lives other then BDSM. Things like jobs, children, spouses, family and friends, etc., etc.  Many times these real life activities take away from online activities..

Cut this Master some space!

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 4:31:04 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Cut this Master some space!


Or find one as needy as you are.

quote:

hes not interested right?


Perhaps not.  Maybe he got what he needed and he has moved on.  Maybe he's busy with life.  Maybe you should ask him.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to masterforRT)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 6:37:28 AM   
littlemisssnarf


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline 		i can understand where the OP is coming from - gosh i'm just as needy at times and especially as you are newly collared.... you need to speak to your Master about contact and consistency... tell him how this has made you feel.... Of course this could be part of his plan - to allow this sense of loss for a day or so might mean that you will be more grateful and happy to see him....

You haven't mentioned whether this is online or real life - either way like others have said just chill out a little.... Chocolate cake might help!


_____________________________

let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 6:40:37 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		But if you are newly collared, shouldn't that give you confidence in the relationship?  Instead of making you more insecure? 

The way around this, or what I would do, is give him the same amount of attention that he gives you.  Find something to do and get busy, don't be constantly available to him.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littlemisssnarf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 6:52:10 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ummm   ----   are we in high school here?  As big girls, we should be confident enough in ourselves and our charms to realise our worth to another.
The fact that he found enough time to change his profile should suggest that he is acknowledging the change in status, and that he is busy.  Is this an online only relationship? and if so, you need to realise that he has a life to live off the keyboard.

Give it a week before you take the collar off and realise that you need to throw your heart out there a little less speedily.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 6:52:17 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Did you discuss what the relationship would be like, including frequency of contact, before you took his collar?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 8:02:31 AM   
forhim


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all so much for the advice. This is rl not online and yes I am still confused/insecure.

Guess I'll just keep on living.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 8:07:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Are you forbidden from contacting him?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to forhim)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Cmon! - 10/5/2008 8:09:42 AM   
forhim


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		He hasnt said I was forbidden - no. But he has read and not responded to my emails

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 20
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