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ORIGINAL: sujuguete

I'm not going to attempt to give you "the" definition of humiliation, because it may mean different things to different people.  All I can tell you is that my former Dom enjoyed using humiliation with me, and it manifested itself with him directing me to do things that would cause me embarrassment and emotional discomfort.

For him, the simple fact that I would go above and beyond my comfort level to please him was gratifying to him.

For me, humiliation meant that I was doing something that I felt would make others look down upon me for doing it.  Having struggled with self-esteem issues, it was a real battle to submit and put myself in a position where I felt I would be ridiculed.  What made it worthwhile to me was that no matter how degrading or uncomfortable an action he had me perform, he accepted me fully and did not look down upon me afterward.  He cherished that I was willing to degrade myself for his pleasure.

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He cherished that I was willing to degrade myself for his pleasure.

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ORIGINAL: tsatske

Here is my very personal definaiton of humilation:
for me, humilation is standing in front of the one who owns me, completely naked. Not talking about clothes here, they are irrelevent, although sometimes they are what is used. I am talking about being spiritually naked in front of him. Having him see all of me, my deepest, darkest, nastiest side, and say, 'Yes, I love you still'.
This is why for me, the epitome of humilation is the mildest thing: to lie in his arms and confess some of my deepest, darkest, truly nasty fantasies to him. To have him hear how dirty my fantasies get, and accpet me still.
Other things that do it for me do include the nudity that was described here. Now, I am very much a nudist, and very comfortable being nude. But only when the social situation makes being nude feel apporprate or empowering to me. Getting naked before anyone else does, - or opening the door to fully dressed guests while I'm nude - can be powerfully humilating to me. In fact, so can simply wearing clothes that seem to me to be 'inappoprate' to the given situation. For instance, I always keep light, floating, robelike clothes in the toy bag when we go somewhere to play, to put on after we play. 'Silks'. but suggest I wear them INTO the party or dungeon, and you will get a look of sheer horror from me.
Humilation - what humilates YOU, does not always make sense.

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Here is my very personal definaiton of humilation:
for me, humilation is standing in front of the one who owns me, completely naked. Not talking about clothes here, they are irrelevent, although sometimes they are what is used. I am talking about being spiritually naked in front of him. Having him see all of me, my deepest, darkest, nastiest side, and say, 'Yes, I love you still'.
This is why for me, the epitome of humilation is the mildest thing: to lie in his arms and confess some of my deepest, darkest, truly nasty fantasies to him. To have him hear how dirty my fantasies get, and accpet me still.
Other things that do it for me do include the nudity that was described here. Now, I am very much a nudist, and very comfortable being nude. But only when the social situation makes being nude feel apporprate or empowering to me. Getting naked before anyone else does, - or opening the door to fully dressed guests while I'm nude - can be powerfully humilating to me.

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ORIGINAL: tsatske

Here is my very personal definaiton of humilation:
for me, humilation is standing in front of the one who owns me, completely naked. Not talking about clothes here, they are irrelevent, although sometimes they are what is used. I am talking about being spiritually naked in front of him. Having him see all of me, my deepest, darkest, nastiest side, and say, 'Yes, I love you still'.
This is why for me, the epitome of humilation is the mildest thing: to lie in his arms and confess some of my deepest, darkest, truly nasty fantasies to him. To have him hear how dirty my fantasies get, and accpet me still.
Other things that do it for me do include the nudity that was described here. Now, I am very much a nudist, and very comfortable being nude. But only when the social situation makes being nude feel apporprate or empowering to me. Getting naked before anyone else does, - or opening the door to fully dressed guests while I'm nude - can be powerfully humilating to me. In fact, so can simply wearing clothes that seem to me to be 'inappoprate' to the given situation. For instance, I always keep light, floating, robelike clothes in the toy bag when we go somewhere to play, to put on after we play. 'Silks'. but suggest I wear them INTO the party or dungeon, and you will get a look of sheer horror from me.
Humilation - what humilates YOU, does not always make sense.

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ORIGINAL: lateralist1

As an expert on humiliating myself I have learned to humilate others if it's necessary.
It's a good way for a sadist to get a thrill without breaking the law or getting beaten up. It's also a good way to get rid of people.
The kind of relationship described above leaves me feeling sorry for the Domme.
In my eyes she is humiliating herself.
So can you see how difficult it is?
I occassionally humiliate myself on purpose to keep myself strong.
I have to put up with a lot of abuse in my life. I have to be strong enough to take it.
However we all have to be careful with our dealings with others.
People bring a lot of their baggage to this site.
Telling them they are a complete idiot isn't really going to help them.
But if you give helpful advice you know damn well they are not going to take it.
So it's a thin line between being honest and perhaps causing someone to break down or sweetening the pill.
If I'm unsure I say nothing.

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It's a good way for a sadist to get a thrill without breaking the law or getting beaten up. It's also a good way to get rid of people.
The kind of relationship described above leaves me feeling sorry for the Domme.
In my eyes she is humiliating herself.
So can you see how difficult it is?

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ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

May I please have a working definintion of humiliation and some concrete examples?

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ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

May I please have a working definintion of humiliation and some concrete examples?

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ORIGINAL: Jeptha

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ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

May I please have a working definintion of humiliation and some concrete examples?

To me, humiliation is humbling, but not really mortifying.

I'm not trying to make the person feel bad. I should probably qualify it by calling it "erotic humiliation", except that really sounds too whispy!
But, the feeling of humiliation never overwhelms the feeling of being loved and cared for, is my point.
This is just in my experience; other's may do it differently, and I'm curious to hear about that, as well.

Examples: An example that comes to mind involves objectification and exhibitionism. I took her to a porn arcade where other men could see her and I dis-sheveled, displaced, or removed her clothing , ordered her to crawl on the floor, exposed her to others (only those who sought to see, mind you), and would occasionally ask her rhetorically in that stern "super-ego" voice why I shouldn't unlock the door and make her suck off every cock in the place, let every man use her until he was done with her, because that's the kind of filthy little whore she was, etc.

In that example, I knew some of my partner's darker fantasies, and I kind of used them to create a sort of funhouse ride for us both. There's an irony involved in that I pretend to be the judgemental and stern one, like the voice of the puritan forefathers or something, but really I'm getting off on it. And she always knows this, even though the things I may say or do might seem or sound kind of severe, and that's what makes it work for her.

As I've experienced it, humiliation has to be tailored to the ego strength of your partner, how strongly she has faith in you, and, of course, whether she's at all interested in that kind of thing in the first place.

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To me, humiliation is humbling, but not really mortifying.

I'm not trying to make the person feel bad. I should probably qualify it by calling it "erotic humiliation", except that really sounds too whispy!
But, the feeling of humiliation never overwhelms the feeling of being loved and cared for, is my point.

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ORIGINAL: MrHarsh

Humiliation is a kind of degradation.  It is a way to make someone feel "less than", which is why, I think, that many subs like it.  Humiliation lowers a person's status, from equal to beneath.

This can take many forms. Having a person perform like an animal, by eating or drinking from a dog dish for example.  It can be verbal, by name calling say.  Masks can be humiliating, as they hide a person's humanity. Or it can be achieved by forcing "private" aspects into public ... forced nudity, or public urination.

Ultimately, of course, humiliation is personal.  What might make one person feel "less than" might mean nothing to someone else.

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Humiliation is a kind of degradation. It is a way to make someone feel "less than", which is why, I think, that many subs like it. Humiliation lowers a person's status, from equal to beneath.