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RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 3:32:11 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

and 20 years in some peoples lives is like 40 in others. Some people by the age of 20 have lost both their parents. Some have been being "adults" in the "real" world for more then 2 years some are out on the streets at 14..

Yes, there will always be extreme examples, and someone is always quick to point them out, even though it is usually prudent to set extreme examples aside when discussing what is typical in most topics.

I was trying to point out that the MAJORITY of people you run into have two years of adult experience by the time they are 20, and saying that someone "grew up in the lifestyle" doesn't negate that fact.

quote:

It depends on where you grow up, as well. People growing up in poverty in aferica have more life expereince at ten then someone growing up in america "usually". People who are put in foster care, more experience then people that dont, Rape victims more experience then those that arent, abuse surviors more experience then those that arent. someone whos been affected by murder in their lives...

Again, extreme examples and an invalid conclusion. Someone growing up in poverty in Africa doesn't have "more" life experience, they have DIFFERENT life experience. Same as for your other examples.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 41

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 3:43:38 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
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Yes, age matters to me.

(in reply to sirsblue)

Post #: 42

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 3:45:13 PM

hopelessfool

Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
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And Im saying you cant tell how much experince someone has simply because of their age. Differnet life experiences, lead to being in a differnet place at a particular age. Meaning they are more or less experience then someone with a different experience. I know 20 year old with more life experience then most 60 year olds and i know 40 year olds whove lived in a fucking bubble their entire life.

Equating someone young to being silly and stupid is simply bullshit. Ive never been silly, and i sure as hell wouldnt be living if i was stupid.

Extreme examples? Really more then 60% of kids have been affected by gun violence by the age of 20, rape as well as sexual assult is also on the rise in teenage children. Again foster children as well. Look in the last how many years, how many people have been affected by school shootings, bombings and other wise "differnet" life experiences.

So, How is it an Extreme if more people are experienceing it then those that arent.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 43

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:07:29 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
Equating someone young to being silly and stupid is simply bullshit. Ive never been silly, and i sure as hell wouldnt be living if i was stupid.

One person out of this whole thread, if I read correctly, said anything about "silly and stupid". There are plenty of stupid people alive, equating yourself to being alive and therefore not stupid is another invalid conclusion. That doesn't mean you are stupid, it means that one has nothing to do with the other.

But yes, I suppose you are correct. All the 20 year olds out there are so much more experienced than anyone older than them. After all, your statistics prove it.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 44

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:12:46 PM

hopelessfool

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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Actually Its not what im saying, im saying just because someones 20 doesnt mean they ARENT experienced, or as experienced as someone older. Some people never get experince, or put use to the experience they gain. Some people do.

People at 20 today, have more experience then those who were 20 50 years ago in my opinion, why? The world has changed for the worse.

Im not saying because im alive im not stupid. Im saying with my "different" life experiences, if I was stupid Id have been killed.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 45

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:14:49 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub
I'm 27. I've already run my own business, been a global ops manager for a multinational pharma company, lived in foreign countries all by myself, etc.

Okay. Now I really do think you're hot.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VivaciousSub)

Post #: 46

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:16:06 PM

MadRabbit

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I'm happy to read this thread.

When I get around 30, have finished the degree I want, changed professions into a new career, and am making better money with more leisure time, I will be waist deep in 20 year old pussy!

YEE-HAW!

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 47

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:23:23 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Actually Its not what im saying, im saying just because someones 20 doesnt mean they ARENT experienced, or as experienced as someone older. Some people never get experince, or put use to the experience they gain. Some people do.

Of course we all have different and varying experiences than one another, no matter our age. But someone who is 40 has more years of life under their belt (unless they spent it in solitary confinement) than someone who is 20. And usually that comes with more knowledge of people, more wisdom, more whatEVER. I would hate to think that I'm not going to know more and be wiser at 60 than I am at 43. And I'm wiser at 43 than I was at twenty. That's not to say that someone younger cant be mature and smart and wonderful. It just means that the more years we are here, the more experience at life in general we have.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 10/6/2008 4:24:02 PM >

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 48

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:35:41 PM

LadyLupineNYC

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Age matters to me in that I prefer younger. The two tours in Iraq my boy served is more than enough 'maturity' for me. Other then that, the appeal of the ‘young wounded bird’ is just too delish for me to pass up (another way of looking at it, paraphrasing Fight Club, is that I want to ‘destroy something beautiful’)...I also like helping younger guys who want those first experiences and excel at providing a very calm, non judgmental, and open environment where they can try new things while not having to worry about 'messing up'.

_____________________________

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"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 49

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 4:44:37 PM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I'm happy to read this thread.

When I get around 30, have finished the degree I want, changed professions into a new career, and am making better money with more leisure time, I will be waist deep in 20 year old pussy!

YEE-HAW!

Nah... by then the trend will have changed and they'll all want younger Dominants. ;)

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 50

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 5:06:49 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
When I get around 30, have finished the degree I want, changed professions into a new career, and am making better money with more leisure time, I will be waist deep in 20 year old pussy!

AngryBunny... if you can get waist-deep in a 20 year old pussy, then I'm thinking that kitty has seen wayyyyy more mileage than you want. Wayyyyyy more. Just sayin'.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 51

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 5:55:38 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Hi, all----
Yes, age does matter to me. I haven't ever been in a realtionship with someone younger than myself ever and while it's possible that what appeals to me may change across time (For heavens sake, shoot me if I ever become a 'cougar'; put me out of my misery, lol!), I can't say that it has across the span of my awareness of such things. Prior to meeting my ex- (We met when I was 15), I figured I had my lifecourse mapped out: Doctorate by 25, probably marry someone 15-20 years my senior shortly thereafter, perhaps breed once with relative promptness.
Interestingly, I grew to love someone slightly less than 2 years older than I and we were together for 17 years. That L word will get me everytime, lol!
I've always thought that, in general, men peak in their physical attractiveness in their 40's; time has begun to etch some distinction into faces while not marring what other beauty was there all along. In terms of personality, a particular maturity and settledness appears to accompany that decade oft times as well. These are appealing things.
Someone mentioned family of origin (winoverme, I think). I think that it's important to understand how your upbringing impacts your choices, whether the impacts are good, bad, or something different entirely. It is about knowing one's self.
Love (Ideally) and other emotions/appeals/attractions/whatever dictates far more than a number but, yes, age is important to me, and prefer men older than myself.
Davan

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 52

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 5:56:43 PM

justgemmie

Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

how do you know they didnt grow up in the lifestyle and have more experince than you and your friends combined?!!?

"age-appropriate/silly/stupid/young stuff " and whats shows more experince and wisdom than putting down a whole group of people just because of their age. funny how young = stupid and silly, because what it really looks like youre trying to say is old (age) = judgemental and bitter

personally i prefer my Dom/mes younger than me

quote:

ORIGINAL: justgemmie

greetings Master Stroke

with respect, i can understand that You believe it to be a preference issue. the couple of Friends i have that are in their 40s/50s and had younger girls (43/19 and 52/20) both disagree with me also. neither of them are with the young girls any longer.

but i believe that folks, both males and females, should experience some life first before they make commitments with ones so much older than they are. get some life behind them so-to-speak. do age-appropriate/silly/stupid/young stuff with folks that are around the same age. then, after having experienced being young adult, if they are interested in commitment with someone older, fine. they have at least been their age for a while and have had a chance to grow.

well wishes,
gemmie

greetings bebe

wow. who pissed in your wheaties today? i'm not judgmental and bitter at all. actually, i'm the happiest i've been in a long time.

i simply explained what i think. i never said they might not have grown up in "the lifestyle," didn't say they might not know more than me in that respect, in no way did i "put down a whole group of people" .... what's wrong with believing it's ok to BE the age you are and live THAT age? and actually - i wasnt really referencing bdsm at all. i was speaking simply of LIFE experience.

well wishes to you,
gemmie

_____________________________

"Being a Master to somebody or a slave to somebody is a relationship bound status. Without the relationship the status does not exist and all that is there is the potential or the natural inclination to fulfill such a status in the future." ~ ishyB

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 53

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 6:05:53 PM

justgemmie

Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

And Im saying you cant tell how much experince someone has simply because of their age. Differnet life experiences, lead to being in a differnet place at a particular age. Meaning they are more or less experience then someone with a different experience. I know 20 year old with more life experience then most 60 year olds and i know 40 year olds whove lived in a fucking bubble their entire life.

Equating someone young to being silly and stupid is simply bullshit. Ive never been silly, and i sure as hell wouldnt be living if i was stupid.

Extreme examples? Really more then 60% of kids have been affected by gun violence by the age of 20, rape as well as sexual assult is also on the rise in teenage children. Again foster children as well. Look in the last how many years, how many people have been affected by school shootings, bombings and other wise "differnet" life experiences.

So, How is it an Extreme if more people are experienceing it then those that arent.

greetings hopeless and everyone else

was my post so hard to understand??? i said i think younger folks should have the chance to be young and enjoy all those things most all of us did when we were younger. i never said a whole group of people were silly and stupid. read what the hell i wrote, not what you THINK i wrote because y'all have problems with being young.

and btw? no matter how much life experience you have at 20 ,,,, both folks dead, you lost your dog and your life is a country song, you're still 20 and have a limited number of years of LIFE experience compared to those that are older. that's simply a fact.

well wishes,
gemmie

_____________________________

"Being a Master to somebody or a slave to somebody is a relationship bound status. Without the relationship the status does not exist and all that is there is the potential or the natural inclination to fulfill such a status in the future." ~ ishyB

(in reply to hopelessfool)

Post #: 54

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 6:10:19 PM

justgemmie

Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Actually Its not what im saying, im saying just because someones 20 doesnt mean they ARENT experienced, or as experienced as someone older. Some people never get experince, or put use to the experience they gain. Some people do.

Of course we all have different and varying experiences than one another, no matter our age. But someone who is 40 has more years of life under their belt (unless they spent it in solitary confinement) than someone who is 20. And usually that comes with more knowledge of people, more wisdom, more whatEVER. I would hate to think that I'm not going to know more and be wiser at 60 than I am at 43. And I'm wiser at 43 than I was at twenty. That's not to say that someone younger cant be mature and smart and wonderful. It just means that the more years we are here, the more experience at life in general we have.

thank you marie - you and Califchick seem to be the only 2 that paid attention to what i actually wrote.

well wishes,
gemmie

_____________________________

"Being a Master to somebody or a slave to somebody is a relationship bound status. Without the relationship the status does not exist and all that is there is the potential or the natural inclination to fulfill such a status in the future." ~ ishyB

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 55

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 6:43:51 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I'm happy to read this thread.

When I get around 30, have finished the degree I want, changed professions into a new career, and am making better money with more leisure time, I will be waist deep in 20 year old pussy!

YEE-HAW!

Nah... by then the trend will have changed and they'll all want younger Dominants. ;)

John

Probably. I used up all my luck when the economy took a dump before I reached the point where I was ready to start making serious investments.

(Good to see you posting here again)

((Focus50 told me to tell you that he missed you. Seriously))

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/6/2008 6:44:45 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 56

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 6:51:34 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The same problems that occur in vanilla relationships will occur here. Assuming you are a couple as well as in a d/s relationship. If it's d/s only, show up for the weekend, serve and then go home - no problem.

But if you're a couple and planning long term commitment then come all the problems. In his mid40's he's probably already a father and not wanting to go there again. But what if being a parent is really important to you.

Plus let's move ahead 20 years. He'll be ready to retire and travel and you'll be in your prime career earning years. How do you work that out?

20 years after that you're ready to retire and enjoy it and he's elderly and in need of a lot of care. How do you work that out?

Not to mention you being accepted by his grown children who are your age, him being accepted by your parents who are his age, etc. Lots to consider.

Other problems, he has nothing in common with your friends and you have nothing in common with his. So how do you socialize? Music, this one nobody thinks of but people get really resentful at never being able to listen to the music they like, go to concerts they like, have to listen to music they dislike etc. How will you work that out?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 57

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 6:59:53 PM

LATEXBABY64

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this thread has been redone and over done so i am just gonna say this i am gonna let life teach you like it did everyone else do the right thing not the easy thing but you will figrue out just not going to waste my time rasing someone

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 58

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 7:14:30 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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Hi, DesFIP----
Obviously, every relationship is different but it seems as if you are choosing to focus on the negatives of someone having a partner that is older than themselves. Sure, a couple of decades alters the context (And, I can not speak from experience on this as that's a greater timespan than I have encountered relationally) but doesn't have to be all bad. I also think you're indulging some potential stereotypes about age differences and, I feel like I, as someone who was married for a long time at what most consider to be a very young age, simply have to say that taking care of a life partner (As a potential at any age) is, imo, a part of the bargain. Age doesn't always dictate the need for caretaking; if you're only in it for the pretty stuff, being in it for the long haul isn't going to be the thing for you. Very un-pretty things happen in long-term relationships (And in life) regardless of age and very beautiful things happen; it's about love and commitment and, if we're really, really lucky, walking our paths together. :>
Davan

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 59

RE: does age matter? - 10/6/2008 8:00:54 PM

sravaka

Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
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Interesting life experience (includes internal as well as external life) and maturity are what matter to me... and while clearly those are easier to find among men who are older than me, it's not a hard and fast rule.

I'm remembering a first meet with a dominant who was around 17 yrs my senior. It was quite a while ago; i was 32 or 33 and he was 50 ish. We'd gotten along smashingly online, but in person, he kept coming up with things out of <cough> ancient pop culture of which I had little knowledge. "Do you remember this or that tv show?" (no) "I have a sideline selling this [random old stuff] on ebay... remember that?" (no.) After about the 3rd time he said, "You need to find a dom closer to your own age!" I thought (but didn't say, and kick myself), "No, you need a sub closer to *your* own age."   Prior to that, I'd no problem whatsoever engaging with men 10-15 years older than me, but realized at that point that it came down to prioritizing *now* and topics of general interest over shared upbringing. It was understood that there was a certain kind of cross-cultural interaction going on, and to be with someone whose age is vastly different from yours, that's something you need to find enjoyable, imho.

A response to Hopeless Fool...   I was one of those who was 40 when I was 20... but now that I am really 40, I realize that what I had in certain kinds of experience/acuity at that time did not really make up for other kinds that only come with accumulation of years. Among other things, you emote differently and process things differently when you're 40 vs. 20 (can't tell you where the line is, so please don't ask!)   But, clearly, there is no general rule, esp. when you are interested in relationships whose primary feature is power disparity.

sravaka   (40... in fact, 2 hours from 41... but still 12 in certain ways.)

_____________________________

Miseries hold me fixed, and I would gladly cut these roots to become a floating plant. I would yield myself up utterly, if the inviting stream could be relied upon. --Ono no Komachi

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 60

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