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Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 3:44:02 PM

Gorgias

Posts: 41
Joined: 10/31/2007
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I will be seeing my Master for a weekend coming up very soon (we don't get to see each other very often because of my schooling), and thankfully I'll be spending the entire time over at his house. While keeping up a huge amount of protocol for a long period of time might be very stressful or even impossible, for the span of a weekend, I'm eager to have my submission be reflected very strongly in protcol. So, what would you guys reccomend to express that? He's already decided that I'm not allowed to be on any of his furniture, with the exception of his bed when we go to sleep... I've been thinking of some more extreme stuff, maybe being on all fours the entirety of the weekend or being gagged the majority of the time. What do you guys think?

Post #: 1

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 3:53:05 PM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline

I would have thought that the dominant incorporates protocol into the relationship, since protocol tends to enhance D/s formality. I don't see how a submissive would work out creating his/her own protocols? I dunno, seems a bit.. strange to me. Particularly if I hadnt discussed what I planned on doing with my Master beforehand. If anything he'd interupt whatever I was doing so I could do what He wanted me to do >.>

I would just tell your man that you enjoy protocol. At least, that is what I did, and happy I did too.

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 2

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 4:00:49 PM

Gorgias

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Joined: 10/31/2007
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Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention that he's asked me to come up with some ideas for the weekend, and I thought 50,000 heads would be better than one =P

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 3

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 4:05:43 PM

caelestis

Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
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You can look into Gorean for some neat protocol influences, as there is a lot involved. Especially in serving. Theres something I enjoy (because I find it a very caring action) that they do in serving drinks, where the slave kisses the rim of the glass before handing it over. Its called sweetening, if I remember correctly.

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 4

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 4:20:38 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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What the fuck over. In the past 2 weeks I have seen more post than i care to count about, I'm going to see Blah.... and Blah said to look for way to make out time more enjoiable. Tell Blah to stop being so lazy get up off their fat ass... ya know put forth some effort into the relationship....

What irks me is that the mindless sub/slave whatever blah thinks to themselves "Well shit why should I put any thought into this <pretty much what the capped Blah thouight> I will just ask a bunch of strangers what they think I will enjoi doing"

Rent a billboard We are lazy ..Do our thinking for us oh and tell us what we enjoi.

Have a nice Day BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 5

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 4:28:39 PM

LadyLupineNYC

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I have to say that I agree with SailingBum; part of the enjoyment for me is developing something unique to the psychology of the other and the dynamic we share. Not to mention, if I gave my slave a task like this it would be foot worship, followed by boot licking, than boot polishing, than maybe some 6-inch heels kicking…you get the idea. While I am all for the s-type being involved, there are far better ways than a ‘task’ like this, it smacks of 'lazy'.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 6

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 4:54:39 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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Protocols can include everything from asking permission to enter a room to not speaking until given permission, to not being allowed to eat unless fed by the Keeper's hand -- basically, anything you can think of that would add formality to an event can be used as a protocol.

To be frank, only your Keeper will know what he -really- enjoys... so it seems sort of pointless to me to send a servant out willy-nilly to find "protocols". Most people find protocol to be very individualized to either the person or the household. A good example is the matter of 'sweetening the goblet' mentioned earlier from Gorean practice. Now when I was taught, it was not -kissing- the rim, but coating it in a woman's fluids from her arousal. We only had -one- Keeper in the household who liked it, and he came out of a meat-life Gorean group out west somewhere. The rest of them thought it was disgusting. It was taught to all the female servants on his account (as well as exactly -how- to do it so it didn't look clumsy), but the only time that old 'saw' was pulled out was when he was home, and it was -never- done when we had visiting 'outer ring' family members or guests who were friends or associates of the House.

On the other hand, we have a protocol in the House that my Darling must never have an empty beverage cup when she's at home... either tea or water (or wine if she asks for it) must be provided for her at the moment she arrives home, then her shoes are removed and she's provided with her current book (or the tv remotes), her cigarettes, and from that point on, her cup must never go dry unless she specifically says not to refill.

In order to be effective, you're going to have to either give him a whole lot of options, or see if you can get him to give you an idea of what -type- of protocols interest him.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/6/2008 4:55:49 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

Post #: 7

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 5:09:50 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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If you're looking for inspiration, pick up any BDSM oriented erotic fiction novel (not my cup of tea, but I like Laura Antoniou so I'll plug her). Maybe read it to each other to make it more interesting, and provide an opportunity to discuss what you find appealing.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 8

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 6:57:50 PM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

wow........... when did the slave's start getting to pick their own protacals, and when did dominants get so frikken lazy they could not think for themselves?

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 9

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 7:08:21 PM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Go to google and type in "protocols bdsm" and you will get back a ton of hits. Pick some out that you like and either print them out, or email them to your Sir. That way he can pick and choose among the ones that He likes and have you perform them for his pleasure.

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 10

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/6/2008 7:18:48 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Human knees are not designed to be knelt on 16 hours a day. Same problem with the gag rule. It simply will be physically very painful and not endurable.

Besides which, he hasn't seen you for weeks so he's decided that you're to be where he can't hold you nor can he talk to you? Hell, if that's what you want then why bother getting together?

Micromanagement might be easier. Ask permission to get a drink, read the paper with your morning coffee, do the laundry. Go out to dinner and have him order your food (make sure he knows if you can't eat something). Bathroom control if you like that. Permission to orgasm if you usually don't have to ask. If you're cooking, he makes the menu from the choices available.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 11

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 3:56:32 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gorgias

Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention that he's asked me to come up with some ideas for the weekend, and I thought 50,000 heads would be better than one =P

I quite like a woman coming up with her own ideas, which means I see only positives in you thinking/acting with effort and consideration; it's appealing to spend time with a woman who attempts to understand your position without expecting to be told: life's too busy to have to continuously spell out the way it is. Presumably he's capable of letting you know when the two of you aren't quite in tune, so I don't see why there's a problem with you developing protocol. Furthermore, I see nothing wrong with you asking others for ideas; I mean, we all learn from others in one form or another. I would recommend, though, that you take these ideas on-board with the ins and outs of your relationship in mind, and at least make an effort to come up with some of your own ideas.

At a restaurant, try only speaking when spoken to............at one end, pour his wine; at the other, be prepared to not eat. In his home, make youself comfortable only on his insistence. Try subtle rather than running 'round like a bull in a china shop: any woman can sit around with a gag in her mouth, but can you display sincere gratitude for being invited to his home? Mind you, not sitting on his furniture sounds like he isn't exactly planning on being the most courteous of hosts.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Gorgias)

Post #: 12

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 4:05:04 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

What the fuck over. In the past 2 weeks I have seen more post than i care to count about, I'm going to see Blah.... and Blah said to look for way to make out time more enjoiable. Tell Blah to stop being so lazy get up off their fat ass... ya know put forth some effort into the relationship....

What irks me is that the mindless sub/slave whatever blah thinks to themselves "Well shit why should I put any thought into this <pretty much what the capped Blah thouight> I will just ask a bunch of strangers what they think I will enjoi doing"

Rent a billboard We are lazy ..Do our thinking for us oh and tell us what we enjoi.

Have a nice Day BadOne

I agree. To me it screams "neither of us have any idea what we are doing". Therefore, when someone comes from this angle....I am certainly not going to give them any ideas.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 13

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 4:40:54 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I agree. To me it screams "neither of us have any idea what we are doing". Therefore, when someone comes from this angle....I am certainly not going to give them any ideas.

So what if they don't know what they're doing? We all started from precisely the same place. And it seems they understand enough that they have a mutual interest in protocol. Just not enough to know what options are out there to choose from.

To say that you won't help is akin to a restaurant saying they won't provide you a menu, cause you must be a restaurant novice and don't know what you want.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 5:07:08 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Lmao.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 15

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 5:46:20 AM

Stroke

Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline

It is the masters responsibility (yes they do have responsibilitys) to set the protocols. He trains you as he wishes you to behave. He teaches you what he wants you to learn. He enforces any transgressions. If he cannot set the protocols in your realtionship then I would have serious concerns over his ability to lead you.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Post #: 16

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 5:58:50 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stroke

It is the masters responsibility (yes they do have responsibilitys) to set the protocols.

Maybe you missed the "Master's Responsibilities" thread in the "Ask A Master" section. But to the best of everyone's knowledge, there is no BDSM Bible that dictates what those responsibilities are for each of us. So as a personal statement for your own relationships, this is fine. As a universal statement for all all relationships, it's really poor form.

quote:

He trains you as he wishes you to behave. He teaches you what he wants you to learn.

Are submissives/slaves limited to learning what their Dominant knows? What the submissive/slave is more experienced than their Dominant, and/or knows more than their Dominant?

quote:

He enforces any transgressions. If he cannot set the protocols in your realtionship then I would have serious concerns over his ability to lead you.

Seriously, I think this is rather short sighted. Why would you dismiss a good idea simply because it isn't your idea?

I can think of several instances in which submissives/slaves of mine suggested protocols/rituals (or variations on existing protocols/rituals) that they found personally gratifying, and we incorporated them into our repertoire. I cannot imagine a good reason (good being a very relative term) not to. Unless I was engaged in a really extensive religious scene, playing the part of God, from whom all things shall flow.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Stroke)

Post #: 17

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 6:13:50 AM

Stroke

Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline

Rover, I am sure that not all are willing to accept the responsibilities that go along with ownership. They would prefer to enjoy the "play" and have no decision making or sense of responsibility to worry about. That type of idea is foreign to my way of thinking. I don't want to hyjack this thread so I'll leave it at that. Perhaps another thread is where this should be taken to.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 18

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 6:18:35 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stroke

Rover, I am sure that not all are willing to accept the responsibilities that go along with ownership.

Please, do provide the list of responsibilities that go along with ownership. Where can they be found?

quote:

They would prefer to enjoy the "play" and have no decision making or sense of responsibility to worry about.

And if they own something, is it not their right to take care of it in whatever manner they see fit?

quote:

That type of idea is foreign to my way of thinking.

Then broaden your mind a little. Learn something. All of leather is not limited to what you think.

quote:

I don't want to hyjack this thread so I'll leave it at that. Perhaps another thread is where this should be taken to.

There is another thread in the "Ask A Master" section. You're welcome to rejoin this there.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Stroke)

Post #: 19

RE: Protocol ideas! - 10/7/2008 6:26:31 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

FR.

The OP is new and her D may be too. Kudos to her for asking for help and learning from others. I do not see why people are coming down on her and her D for seeking out knowledge from more seasoned lifestylers. Some people on this site can be a tad bit harsh on newcomers. Just a tad...

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to CruelDesires)

Post #: 20

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