quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I do it backwards.  It's much easier for me to submit physically than mentally.  I may let someone use my body, but my mind and heart are guarded.  I can obey "kneel" without a qualm but stutter and delay and deflect when asked "what are you thinking?"  Probing my thoughts and feelings is more invasive than probing my vagina.  Physical submission doesn't mean anything until they've breached the wall around my heart and unlocked the closet in my mind.

lee,

well perhaps not as backward as you might think.

CP


i am here. the physical isnt that hard. as long as i am reasonably confident that my body isnt going to harmed. then i am good, but find that soft vulnerable spot, or start probing the inner-workings. oh dern..

of course, the really screwy thing about it all, is that without feeling mental domination. all i do is go through the physical motions. i truly never do hit a deeper level of submission. i dont ever let go really. dont even try. i wont even form a complete emotional bond.

now how is that for backwards?

smooches
lee

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Now the question to be seriously pondered prior to a response; at what point or action does your mentality tell you that it is time to move to physical submission?

CP

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ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

Once you have mental control down...the other stuff just happens........for me at least.

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ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

kallisto,

Another thoughtful response, thanks for your input. Yours appears to be the greatest incidence of mental first and then physical but at what point or trigger if there is one that you "oh God" and just let go of reservations. Trust is time of course but time can continue forever /////// well maybe just a long time.

CP

It's difficult to pinpoint the one point or trigger.  It's different in each relationship.   But when the "oh God" comes and the reservations are gone, and I know that the Dom has me mentally to the point where physically I can submit, the feeling is almost as good as an orgasm.   

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Well I agree that it can be difficult to handle a "my way or the highway"type, but good on you for it all working out. 

You may have misunderstood me here.  I was the one with the 'do me my way' attitude.  It wasn't necessarily *wrong* but that attitude changed once I understood the mental aspects of submission. 
[/quote

catize, I surely did get it wrong; but I then would query how did the "D" handle it?

CP

I was fortunate to meet two men who are still in my life.  Both R. and S. saw potential and they were patient with me. In the early days of our respective relationships, R. said I was a ‘scardy sub’ and S. said I was ‘acting’ submissive.  I recognized the truth in their remarks and they allowed me to figure out what I needed to do to change.  It did indeed work out rather well for us all !
(edited for font size, I think I need new glasses!)

carize,

oppps, got it wrong again [changes D to D's]
Glad it all worked out for you.

CP

(in reply to catize)

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ORIGINAL: QandA

For me I'd say that all depends on the type of physical submission.  I'm fairly comfortable with the idea of no-strings physical pleasure... and most of my physical pleasure comes from doing things that appear to be submissive.  I'm not necessarily submitting to the person.  We're just having fun.

It takes a certain level of connection, though, for me to do the "little things" that are physically submissive.  Moving aside and letting him go first if we meet in a hallway... serving him with my left hand as a declaration of my love and commitment to him (even if my nilla friends and family have no clue what it means).... making sure that my clothing and perfume and hair and all the other little personal grooming habits are just right to please him.

Those, to me, are all forms of physical submission that require a connection.  One does not proceed the other, though... they go hand in hand and build upon one another.

lil Aidan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

For me it's usually 4:37 P.M.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Now the question to be seriously pondered prior to a response; at what point or action does your mentality tell you that it is time to move to physical submission?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Throughout the many posts that I have read over the years, there is more of a recognition of the importance of the mental aspect of submission before the physical interaction; which I personally applaud
Now the question to be seriously pondered prior to a response; at what point or action does your mentality tell you that it is time to move to physical submission?

CP

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ORIGINAL: RealSub58

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Now the question to be seriously pondered prior to a response; at what point or action does your mentality tell you that it is time to move to physical submission?

CP

My understanding of mentality is: a moral, correct way of  behaving because my frame of reference, mind set, system of values have been persauded...such as in a discussion, argument, in conflict resolution....
and thus I choose to act on what my mind is giving me.
 
If this act, this behaviour turns out not to be what I expected, anticipated, agreed upon or in conflict with my mentality.....
 
then I back away.
 
I would then say mind~~> physical ~~~> re-evaluation.
 
IMHO, it is this re-evaluation that some do not participate in cause their "heart" is all ooshy goohsy and their infatuation is off the radar scale.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I guess I did it wrong. I bottomed to him in negotiated scenes before I felt submissive. Seeing how he handled unexpected stuff is one way I learned enough about him to want to submit to him. I had to see him in action first.

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ORIGINAL: bound4more

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Throughout the many posts that I have read over the years, there is more of a recognition of the importance of the mental aspect of submission before the physical interaction; which I personally applaud
Now the question to be seriously pondered prior to a response; at what point or action does your mentality tell you that it is time to move to physical submission?

CP

It was the opposite for me. I submitted physically, realized that I felt something was missing and began my adventure to understand what that missing something was. For me it was emotional and psychological submission. It's a submission based on pleasing him, rather than wanting to be pleased by him.

quote:

It was the opposite for me. I submitted physically, realized that I felt something was missing and began my adventure to understand what that missing something was. For me it was emotional and psychological submission. It's a submission based on pleasing him, rather than wanting to be pleased by him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I do it backwards.  It's much easier for me to submit physically than mentally.  I may let someone use my body, but my mind and heart are guarded.  I can obey "kneel" without a qualm but stutter and delay and deflect when asked "what are you thinking?"  Probing my thoughts and feelings is more invasive than probing my vagina.  Physical submission doesn't mean anything until they've breached the wall around my heart and unlocked the closet in my mind.