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RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:18:36 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Is BDSM still cool?
Well, without jumping down your throat... but others instead.

You are getting the usual - 'Does it matter?' or 'I don't care' rhetorical response. Standard, generic and -
.boring.

Doesn't/Cannot anyone just answer a simple question without becoming the monotone crowd anymore? Of course it matters that people think about it - maybe not what they think about may be irrelevant but the point that it's thought about fucking rocks!
The answer is yes it is to some people, no it isn't to others. Like any activity, person, place or thing - it has advocates and it's naysayers and all the peeps inbetween.

Yes it has a history. If it did not, we would not be using words like sadism and masochism which come from specific historical source.

It's cool to me. And that is what matters, else theres no point in me participating in the practises. It's as boring, alternative or as uncool as you want to make it.

Yes, my name is the.dark and I enjoy missionary position even though I am submissive to Darcy.
You really can't get more alternative in BDSM realms than that admission...

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/8/2008 7:21:13 AM >

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Post #: 21

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:23:56 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yes, my name is the.dark and I enjoy missionary position even though I am submissive to Darcy.
You really can't get more alternative in BDSM realms than that admission...

the.dark.

Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

John

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Post #: 22

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:25:30 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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I didnt know about the books. I'll look for them.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 23

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:29:10 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

John

Now see, I find that far sexier than rubber...
Damn, taken in a bunker close to the 8th hole...

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Post #: 24

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:31:00 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

*writes that down in his todo list*

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Post #: 25

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:35:03 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

John

Now see, I find that far sexier than rubber...
Damn, taken in a bunker close to the 8th hole...

the.dark.

Okay, you're just sick... sick I tell you.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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Post #: 26

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:37:01 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

*writes that down in his todo list*

Don't be so anxious, smart guy. That's how your dad dresses, which means it's only a matter of time until yo udo as well.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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Post #: 27

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:38:50 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Pffffftttttt. Try showing up to fetish and BDSM events dressed for the golf course.

John

Now see, I find that far sexier than rubber...
Damn, taken in a bunker close to the 8th hole...

the.dark.

Okay, you're just sick... sick I tell you.

John

Why thank you.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 28

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:43:56 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

You are getting the usual - 'Does it matter?' or 'I don't care' rhetorical response. Standard, generic and -
.boring.

Maybe boring but if thats how the majority think.

quote:

Doesn't/Cannot anyone just answer a simple question without becoming the monotone crowd anymore? Of course it matters that people think about it - maybe not what they think about may be irrelevant but the point that it's thought about fucking rocks!

Not my fault if i agree with the majority. I aint going to change what i think to become unique and special and cool because i have a different opinion to everyone else.

quote:

It's cool to me. And that is what matters, else theres no point in me participating in the practises. It's as boring, alternative or as uncool as you want to make it.

As it is all that matters is that i don't see it as cool.

quote:

Well, without jumping down your throat... but others instead

Me me! Except instead of jumping down it could you ram something down it. Now that would be cool and rock

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Post #: 29

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:57:06 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
Maybe boring but if thats how the majority think.

Now see, I don't believe it is how the majority think.

quote:

Not my fault if i agree with the majority. I aint going to change what i think to become unique and special and cool because i have a different opinion to everyone else.

Colourme confused. Eek.

quote:

As it is all that matters is that i don't see it as cool.

Yuppers. Whoohoo!

quote:

Me me! Except instead of jumping down it could you ram something down it. Now that would be cool and rock

Well, I have a couple of 'cocks-on-sticks' here from our weekends visit to Nottinghams Goose Fair. It would be big and sticky - does that sound cool?

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 30

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 8:02:11 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

Colourme confused. Eek.

Me too because what i wrote makes no fucking sense lmao.
Maybe i'm the resident cm bimbo lol.
*whispers* what makes it even worsse is i dont know what i was trying to say.

quote:

Well, I have a couple of 'cocks-on-sticks' here from our weekends visit to Nottinghams Goose Fair. It would be big and sticky - does that sound cool?

Yummy yummy, see you are cool and i'm just saying i don't want to be cool because i'm don't rock like you lol.
*stamps feet*

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 31

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 8:28:13 AM

pdv99

Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline

When many people start doing anything "because it's COOL", then it probably isn't any more. Cool will have moved on someplace else, leaving a bunch of folk looking foolish for a while, and then the rest of us can get on with doing what we enjoy whether it's COOL or not.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 32

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 8:50:20 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Is it more cool? Or is it more widely know, with aspects filtering into the majority of the population? Just like anything that is exposed to the air things will fly off and sprout elsewhere. That is how things evolve.
As for me, I never saw this as cool. I didn't know it was unique until I was exposed to the net.
I have always been the type to do my own thing without seeing if anyone follows.
Kyst

(in reply to SlyStone)

Post #: 33

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:04:26 AM

justgemmie

Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

I am not asking if d/s is a good or bad thing or if it works for you and I really hope I don't have to explain COOL, cause if I do, than I am way to old for this for sure.

I realize that the majority of people in this country are confused by the concept of bdsm and view it as a sick perversion, and I know this because I am all about sick perversion, but the "majority" is usually overestimated in both numbers and commonality of opinion.

I really don't know the history of bdsm but I am wondering if what exists today has become kinda mainstream and watered down from its conception to now. Maybe it's the internet, or sexual liberation, or maybe it as the natural course of things, but it it just doesn't seem very alternative in that go your own way and fuck the societal norm kind of way that it used to be even a few years ago, let alone, I assume, at it's beginnings.

And that may be a good thing, I really don't know.

But, back to the question..................

greetings A/all
hi SlyStone

i dont' know if it's cool or not. i do know that most folks not involved in bdsm would think that what i like to do, want to do and have done, is perverted in a bad way and in no way cool. but as stated above, there are the "around the edges" things that are becoming common place - dog collars, spankings, a few things like that.

well wishes,
gemmie

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Post #: 34

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:08:05 AM

zakkan

Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

Its cool as long as the word "cool" is cool.

If the internet and CM existed in the 80s, your question would have been "Is BDSM Still Groovy?"

(correct me if I am wrong)

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Post #: 35

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:11:45 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

quote:

Cool with a capital L?

However you define cool is cool with me.

For me cool is Marlon Brando riding into small town america on a chopper, Paul Newman with a pool
cue, Kurt Cobain with a guitar.

Cool like you go your own way and don't even turn around to see if they're following you.

However, simply by asking the questions you negate the possibility.

_____________________________

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to SlyStone)

Post #: 36

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:14:22 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I did not start here because all the other cheerleaders beat their football boyfriends when they were home alone. I never have been much of a conformist. Actually, if you told me then that BDSM was cool, I probably would have avoided it.

DV

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Post #: 37

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:16:11 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yes, my name is the.dark and I enjoy missionary position even though I am submissive to Darcy.
You really can't get more alternative in BDSM realms than that admission...

the.dark.

Ok, that whole post rocked, thank you. But I had to bold this line. It rings as there will soon be a 12 step group for it.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 38

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:17:34 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

For me, BDSM is still cool, but it's been so long since I've worried about what the 'common world' thought of what I said or did that it being 'cool' for me might mark it as 'geeky' or just plain 'weird'. I don't care. It's not going to stop me from enjoying what I enjoy, and what the 'common world' thinks doesn't diminish my enjoyment or the energy I get out of participating in the various things I love.

If you love it, just do it -- who cares whether it's 'cool'. Be what you love, and let the rest of the world go to hell on it's own sled. *smiles*

Storm

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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Post #: 39

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 9:26:45 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Sly, I think you confused the issue by asking if this is "cool"? From the rest of your post, it sounds to me like you are asking if BDSM today has become watered down when compared to previous decades. If it has become more mainstream.

Certainly BDSM today is not your father's BDSM (or your mother's for that matter). It has become more mainstream in the sense that there is now such easy access to it from sites like this one, and so many others. This access was much more restricted before the Internet came along. More people are aware that this sort of lifestyle exists. Because of that awareness, there a lot more people who get into BDSM only for the sex, and in that sense I guess one could say it has been watered down as well. Those folks have no interest in the lifestyle, they just want a quick lay.

The core, though, is still as alternative as ever. People who live the BDSM lifestyle routinely go their own way; could not care less about the norm.

On a cautionary note, awareness is not the same as acceptance. As you point out, mainstream society sees this lifestyle as a sick perversion. A concept reinforced by the media, which almost always will only comment on the subject when something terrible has happened. It is particularly alarming here in the U.S. where we seem to be sliding more and more into a society of informed ignorance. Our current administration thinks it is completely appropriate to teach Intelligent Design in science classes, despite the fact that there is NO science involved with Intelligent Design.

Another example is that there is a growing movement comfortable putting empirical research and mainstream bias together as if they were equal. For one extreme example, see this link for the American Psychiatric Assoc:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/tell-a-friend/1836663

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Post #: 40

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