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RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:45:38 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Oh, here is a little hint. Take a private survey of subs and ask what is in there medicine cabinets past and present.  You will probably find that a lot subs (as well as sex offenders)  were taking a very specific family of drugs just prior or during the time they were involved or got hooked on kink.  If you ask them how they got it you will also find that the majority were prescribed by doctors without any follow up by there doctors on the effects or for that mater prescribed without the patient being told of the side effects of the drug and that changes in desires might have been a side effect and also that research shows that BDSM activities have a similar effect as these families of drugs. Because these drugs were givin out like candy during the late 80’s on… it is also marked by a huge increases in public acceptance of kink…LOL  


Man, and I thought that white powder stuff I was sniffing was cocaine. It was crystallized submissives! No wonder I'm a sub now!


_____________________________

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To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/8/2008 7:52:44 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

  It was crystallized submissives! No wonder I'm a sub now!  


Then I must be a "doobie" sub!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 6:42:14 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		No drugs in my past history.  Ok, there was that one time.....at youth camp....

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 3:50:24 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the great answers.

I laughed, I cried, I screamed for it to stop...........no wait, that was while I was watching the presidential debate  :)
But the posts really were great!

I think there were two ways of approaching the question, is BDSM cool to me or is the BDSM dynamic cool in and of itself.

First I wanted to explain that I  I used the word "still" in my question  cause I think when something is new and exciting and unexplored it is always cool. As it gets co-opted by more people and becomes more structured, than in my opinion it does become less cool. That is just my opinion.

I realize that Rover and others made the point, please correct me if I am incorrectly paraphrasing, that we don't determine what is cool or what is alternative, society does. I actually don't agree with that. Part of being cool is not caring what society thinks and I think that the people who participate in an alternative behavior through their own actions define the term. Society judges and labels, but their role is secondary to the outlaw group. Again my opinion.



Anyhow, First the individualistic perspective:
Is BDSM still cool to me?

I think DarcyandtheDark were the first to answer the question from this perspective. I loved their answer because it wasn't the generic BDSM is cool cause I do it and I am cool, or that BDSM isn't cool cause I do it and I am not cool, but rather that "BDSM is cool to me".  Of course there is no wrong answer here, in the end it is how each of us feel about what it is that we do, but for me it was the perfect answer.

Second, the conceptual approach:
Is BDSM still a cool dynamic.

Here I think a good argument could be made from either perspective. From my point of view the structured dynamic of BDSM is less cool today than it was 10 years ago let alone at it's beginnings. I think in this respect the internet has been a  double edged sword, on one hand it educates and affirms and units, but on the other hand it codifies a kind of group think structure of what BDSM is and how it should be practiced.

But in the end I think the individual approach trumps because at it's most basic it is nothing but what we bring to it. When you are naked and bound and submitting to a higher power, BDSM is cool because it allows you to be you.



_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 4:19:39 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		So...did everyone decide if "BDSM" is the new "female bisexuality" yet? 

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 7:46:41 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm still wondering what kind of drugs were handed out in the late 80's that made women into insta-subs. But I can assure you I wasn't taking anything as I was pregnant and then nursing. So unless we're talking pregnancy vitamins and chewable calcium tablets, I haven't got a clue.

Can I buy a clue please, Alex?

Oh, and leadership - golf is so a hard limit.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 8:07:56 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		"I'm not a cool guy anymore, as if I ever was before
I took a look at all the signs
And rolled it over in my mind
The feelings I could not release, became a bitter part of me
What was I thinking of? It couldn't stay the way it was
I looked at my reflection, and I saw a stranger's face
I saw where I was going, and, I had to walk away...
I lost a girl, it's just as well-  She tried to save me from myself
I've still got her on my mind
Tossing and turning in my bed
If she had stayed another week I would have dragged her down with me
She took it till she'd had enough
Is that what I though love was?
I told her "see you later", but it's hard to see at all
At the bottom of the barrel, with your back against the wall...
I'm not a cool guy anymore
Left it behind, then locked the door..."

Coolidge, The Descendents


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-and the few still remember passion over rage-

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 8:36:03 PM   
faithbunny


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm still wondering what kind of drugs were handed out in the late 80's that made women into insta-subs. But I can assure you I wasn't taking anything as I was pregnant and then nursing. So unless we're talking pregnancy vitamins and chewable calcium tablets, I haven't got a clue.


Interesting... I realized I was bi during my first pregnancy, when my hormones went crazy. The sub thing had to be explained to me, 11 years later, by my beloved, at the ripe old age of 31, when we'd been together for about a year.

~faith

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 8:44:14 PM   
auburnvixen


Posts: 92
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I don't care if its "cool" or not, its how I live my life. I notice that a lot of younger crowd are wearing dog collars, bondage pants etc. So I think some aspects have rubbed off on the vanilla.



People wore dog collars and bondage pants back in the '80s, and "slave bracelets" in the '70s. Just fashion, nothing more.

_____________________________

"Submissive Alpha Female"
If you're not taking flak, you're not over the target.
'Change' is not a destination, just as 'hope' is not a strategy. - Rudy Giuliani

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 8:53:40 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

OP - I don't think the real Sly Stone (as in Sly and the Family Stone) would be asking if something was "cool" or not. He'd just be doing his own thing and thank us for letting him be himself...,. again.




Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a blue one who can't accept the green one
For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one
And different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee


Sly

(in reply to giveeverything)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/9/2008 10:44:36 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Oh, here is a little hint. Take a private survey of subs and ask what is in there medicine cabinets past and present. You will probably find that a lot subs (as well as sex offenders) were taking a very specific family of drugs just prior or during the time they were involved or got hooked on kink. If you ask them how they got it you will also find that the majority were prescribed by doctors without any follow up by there doctors on the effects or for that mater prescribed without the patient being told of the side effects of the drug and that changes in desires might have been a side effect and also that research shows that BDSM activities have a similar effect as these families of drugs. Because these drugs were givin out like candy during the late 80’s on… it is also marked by a huge increases in public acceptance of kink…LOL



Submissives are chemically created? Seriously, you'll have to provide some level of science to back this one up. Sounds far fetched to me.

Got any links?

John




Since Timothy Leary seems to have fled the building I will try to answer for him.

I assume he is talking about Prozac, which can, in a very small number of cases, lead to increased thoughts of violence, suicide. and hurting yourself. These side effects are almost impossible to prove because you are dealing with a subject group that is depressed to begin with, so most if not all of the evidence is anecdotal.

The attempt to somehow link this to participation in BDSM, or that it's use somehow leads outside people to be more accepting of BDSM, would be incredibly insulting if it wasn't so bizarre.





_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/10/2008 4:21:36 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

...You do realize I'm joking, right? Well, half-joking, at least. Old people do smell like death, after all!


Well, i hope you hook up with some one who has lost their sense of smell because everybody gets old.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/10/2008 5:47:56 AM   
ApathyRomance


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Doesn't everyone wonder once in a while whether their values are being mainstreamed?  Meh.  They were probably mainstream all along ;)

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/10/2008 6:20:10 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ApathyRomance

Doesn't everyone wonder once in a while whether their values are being mainstreamed?  Meh.  They were probably mainstream all along ;)


My values have nothing whatsoever to do with BDSM.  I bring to BDSM what values I already embrace.  Not the other way around.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ApathyRomance)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? - 10/10/2008 6:22:44 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		"Cool" is a relative term.
But some things are, and always shall be cool, because they speak to primal needs, and a sense of elete disconnection with the herd.
James Dean is, and ever shall be, cool.
Bettie Page will always be cool, but Marilyn Monroe is optional.
12 year old scotch will always be cool.
American beer (swill in a can) will never be cool.

BDSM is cool, simply because it's not of the mainstream, promotes better communication between partners, and ramps up the intensity for all involved. Yes, there was a time in the late 80's early 90's that we were "discovered" by rock stars like Madonna, and fashion designers of some repute, but that interest is faded now. We've gone back to being part of the edgy undergound, which frankly, suits us better.



(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 95
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