RE: Is BDSM Still CooL?

RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (Full Version)

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VivaciousSub -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/8/2008 7:45:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FRSguy Oh, here is a little hint. Take a private survey of subs and ask what is in there medicine cabinets past and present. You will probably find that a lot subs (as well as sex offenders) were taking a very specific family of drugs just prior or during the time they were involved or got hooked on kink. If you ask them how they got it you will also find that the majority were prescribed by doctors without any follow up by there doctors on the effects or for that mater prescribed without the patient being told of the side effects of the drug and that changes in desires might have been a side effect and also that research shows that BDSM activities have a similar effect as these families of drugs. Because these drugs were givin out like candy during the late 80’s on… it is also marked by a huge increases in public acceptance of kink…LOL Man, and I thought that white powder stuff I was sniffing was cocaine. It was crystallized submissives! No wonder I'm a sub now!

catize -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/8/2008 7:52:44 PM)
quote: It was crystallized submissives! No wonder I'm a sub now! Then I must be a "doobie" sub!

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 6:42:14 AM)
No drugs in my past history. Ok, there was that one time.....at youth camp....

SlyStone -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 3:50:24 PM)
Thank you all for the great answers. I laughed, I cried, I screamed for it to stop...........no wait, that was while I was watching the presidential debate :) But the posts really were great! I think there were two ways of approaching the question, is BDSM cool to me or is the BDSM dynamic cool in and of itself. First I wanted to explain that I I used the word "still" in my question cause I think when something is new and exciting and unexplored it is always cool. As it gets co-opted by more people and becomes more structured, than in my opinion it does become less cool. That is just my opinion. I realize that Rover and others made the point, please correct me if I am incorrectly paraphrasing, that we don't determine what is cool or what is alternative, society does. I actually don't agree with that. Part of being cool is not caring what society thinks and I think that the people who participate in an alternative behavior through their own actions define the term. Society judges and labels, but their role is secondary to the outlaw group. Again my opinion. Anyhow, First the individualistic perspective: Is BDSM still cool to me? I think DarcyandtheDark were the first to answer the question from this perspective. I loved their answer because it wasn't the generic BDSM is cool cause I do it and I am cool, or that BDSM isn't cool cause I do it and I am not cool, but rather that "BDSM is cool to me". Of course there is no wrong answer here, in the end it is how each of us feel about what it is that we do, but for me it was the perfect answer. Second, the conceptual approach: Is BDSM still a cool dynamic. Here I think a good argument could be made from either perspective. From my point of view the structured dynamic of BDSM is less cool today than it was 10 years ago let alone at it's beginnings. I think in this respect the internet has been a double edged sword, on one hand it educates and affirms and units, but on the other hand it codifies a kind of group think structure of what BDSM is and how it should be practiced. But in the end I think the individual approach trumps because at it's most basic it is nothing but what we bring to it. When you are naked and bound and submitting to a higher power, BDSM is cool because it allows you to be you.

NihilusZero -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 4:19:39 PM)
So...did everyone decide if "BDSM" is the new "female bisexuality" yet? [:D]

DesFIP -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 7:46:41 PM)
I'm still wondering what kind of drugs were handed out in the late 80's that made women into insta-subs. But I can assure you I wasn't taking anything as I was pregnant and then nursing. So unless we're talking pregnancy vitamins and chewable calcium tablets, I haven't got a clue. Can I buy a clue please, Alex? Oh, and leadership - golf is so a hard limit.

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 8:07:56 PM)
"I'm not a cool guy anymore, as if I ever was before I took a look at all the signs And rolled it over in my mind The feelings I could not release, became a bitter part of me What was I thinking of? It couldn't stay the way it was I looked at my reflection, and I saw a stranger's face I saw where I was going, and, I had to walk away... I lost a girl, it's just as well- She tried to save me from myself I've still got her on my mind Tossing and turning in my bed If she had stayed another week I would have dragged her down with me She took it till she'd had enough Is that what I though love was? I told her "see you later", but it's hard to see at all At the bottom of the barrel, with your back against the wall... I'm not a cool guy anymore Left it behind, then locked the door..." Coolidge, The Descendents

faithbunny -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 8:36:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I'm still wondering what kind of drugs were handed out in the late 80's that made women into insta-subs. But I can assure you I wasn't taking anything as I was pregnant and then nursing. So unless we're talking pregnancy vitamins and chewable calcium tablets, I haven't got a clue. Interesting... I realized I was bi during my first pregnancy, when my hormones went crazy. The sub thing had to be explained to me, 11 years later, by my beloved, at the ripe old age of 31, when we'd been together for about a year. ~faith

auburnvixen -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 8:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra I don't care if its "cool" or not, its how I live my life. I notice that a lot of younger crowd are wearing dog collars, bondage pants etc. So I think some aspects have rubbed off on the vanilla. People wore dog collars and bondage pants back in the '80s, and "slave bracelets" in the '70s. Just fashion, nothing more.

SlyStone -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 8:53:40 PM)
quote: OP - I don't think the real Sly Stone (as in Sly and the Family Stone) would be asking if something was "cool" or not. He'd just be doing his own thing and thank us for letting him be himself...,. again. Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong My own beliefs are in my song The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then Makes no difference what group I'm in I am everyday people, yeah yeah There is a blue one who can't accept the green one For living with a fat one trying to be a skinny one And different strokes for different folks And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee Sly

SlyStone -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/9/2008 10:44:36 PM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: FRSguy Oh, here is a little hint. Take a private survey of subs and ask what is in there medicine cabinets past and present. You will probably find that a lot subs (as well as sex offenders) were taking a very specific family of drugs just prior or during the time they were involved or got hooked on kink. If you ask them how they got it you will also find that the majority were prescribed by doctors without any follow up by there doctors on the effects or for that mater prescribed without the patient being told of the side effects of the drug and that changes in desires might have been a side effect and also that research shows that BDSM activities have a similar effect as these families of drugs. Because these drugs were givin out like candy during the late 80’s on… it is also marked by a huge increases in public acceptance of kink…LOL Submissives are chemically created? Seriously, you'll have to provide some level of science to back this one up. Sounds far fetched to me. Got any links? John Since Timothy Leary seems to have fled the building I will try to answer for him. I assume he is talking about Prozac, which can, in a very small number of cases, lead to increased thoughts of violence, suicide. and hurting yourself. These side effects are almost impossible to prove because you are dealing with a subject group that is depressed to begin with, so most if not all of the evidence is anecdotal. The attempt to somehow link this to participation in BDSM, or that it's use somehow leads outside people to be more accepting of BDSM, would be incredibly insulting if it wasn't so bizarre.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/10/2008 4:21:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth ...You do realize I'm joking, right? Well, half-joking, at least. Old people do smell like death, after all! Well, i hope you hook up with some one who has lost their sense of smell because everybody gets old.

ApathyRomance -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/10/2008 5:47:56 AM)
Doesn't everyone wonder once in a while whether their values are being mainstreamed? Meh. They were probably mainstream all along ;)

Rover -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/10/2008 6:20:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ApathyRomance Doesn't everyone wonder once in a while whether their values are being mainstreamed? Meh. They were probably mainstream all along ;) My values have nothing whatsoever to do with BDSM. I bring to BDSM what values I already embrace. Not the other way around. John

bipolarber -> RE: Is BDSM Still CooL? (10/10/2008 6:22:44 AM)
"Cool" is a relative term. But some things are, and always shall be cool, because they speak to primal needs, and a sense of elete disconnection with the herd. James Dean is, and ever shall be, cool. Bettie Page will always be cool, but Marilyn Monroe is optional. 12 year old scotch will always be cool. American beer (swill in a can) will never be cool. BDSM is cool, simply because it's not of the mainstream, promotes better communication between partners, and ramps up the intensity for all involved. Yes, there was a time in the late 80's early 90's that we were "discovered" by rock stars like Madonna, and fashion designers of some repute, but that interest is faded now. We've gone back to being part of the edgy undergound, which frankly, suits us better.

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