Rover
Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004 Status: offline
|
quote:
Accepting that to be the case, did you make a conscious decision that appealed to you, or one that was unappealing to you? quote:
I decided to do what appealed to me. Point here being that even in making a conscious decision to *be* submissive, you chose what appealed to you on an innate level. Some might conclude that innate level to be the product of nature. quote:
I note that you have no problem stating categorically that you're a masochist. That's one *it* that you recognize and accept in yourself. quote:
True. Its not the only 'it' I recognize, either. I recognize and accept the fact that, for all practical purposes, I'm submissive, whether thats a product of nature or nurture. The OP wasn't directed at that issue, it was directed at the question of whether the 'nature/nurture' debate matters one way or the other. So, I'm not sure why your point's relevant. I thought the issue was made relevant when you said: quote:
The fact of the matter is, in pursuing the s-side of the slash, I'm pursuing my desire as a matter of conscious decision, not pre-determination. I've spent almost no time trying to discover whether or not I was really "it" Whether I'm a born submissive, a raised submissive, or a mixed up dominant who pig-headedly decided to do something I am totally ill-suited to, the interesting thing to me is that I made the choice, and am working out the consequences--for better or worse, and pity the people who get involved with me--of that choice. I thought this implied that your decision to *be* submissive was entirely divorced from whether or not you *are* submissive. I could be wrong, though, and that would not be the first nor last time. quote:
Most people can play the part for short periods of time, but ultimately their happiness and fulfillment is tied to whether the part was written for them or not. Maybe that matters, maybe it doesn't. But I can promise you, that if submission were against your nature, there would be no room for uncertainty. You'd know. Trying to shove a square peg into a round hole yields some truths. quote:
This is off-topic, but I disaggree. If there were only two scripts, two parts written, one for D-types and one for s-types, you'd be right. But, life is never so simple. The way I see it is that within each group, there's room for alot of different variations, maybe an infinate number of scripts, (which can be organized according to d- or s-type scripts). Sure, there are an infinite number of scripts. But the point is, you can't play a part (for any meaningful length of time) that's not "you" and expect to derive gratification and happiness from it. quote:
I may be unhappy as a submissive because I'm working with the wrong script. I believe that was the point I was making. Perhaps I was not making it well. Thank you for making it for me. quote:
Perhaps I'm trying to accomodate myself to a hard-core, property/owner model when the Daddy/girl model might be more suited to me. 'Property' and 'girl' are variations on the more general s-type theme, but they are as different as night and day from each other. Again, you're making the point I thought I was making as well. Evidently I did a poor job of it. quote:
Alternatively, I tend to be more of a doormat than most s-types I run accross so if I get stuck comparing myself to most submissives, I get caught up in a lot of self-doubt and uncertainty. Perhaps you're comparing scripts and discovering that theirs is not the same as yours? quote:
To bring it back on topic: This line of thinking illuminates one of the implications of the 'nature' answer that I mentioned above. It seems to contain the implicit promise that, if only we correctly identify what we really are, then all uncertainty and doubt concering our D/s orientation will be removed. I can't (and didn't) speak to that issue for everyone. But on the surface, it seems that after discovering our orientation, a certain level of acceptance would be necessary as well. John
< Message edited by Rover -- 10/13/2008 6:07:41 AM >
_____________________________
"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions." Sri da Avabhas
|