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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 6:25:20 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		24/7 means that Ds and our Ms dynamic is the foundation of our relationship, it does not end or begun at certain hours or certain days, it simply IS.

Yesterday Fox had a root canal -- I took care of him but he never stopped calling me "Mistress," he never stopped obeying my orders, he never questioned me even under the influence of serious meds that they said might make him act differently. Our Ds and Ms dynamic is too deeply our foundation even though he did make a silly speech about dogs at one point and seemed to think a co-worker of his showed up.

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(in reply to openmindedslave)
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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 6:44:23 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
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From: another planet
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quote:

24/7 means that Ds and our Ms dynamic is the foundation of our relationship, it does not end or begun at certain hours or certain days, it simply IS.


Ditto.

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 7:20:56 AM   
Subductrssss


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		Regarding 24/7 in this lifestyle, Yes I do seek it for true.

What it means to me is living with my Dominant to be available to serve and please Him each and every day and night; keeping a clean house for Him, cooking for Him, making His home comfortable as far as decorating and gardening.  Serving and pleasing Him sexually and being there to get Him a drink, a book, a meal.  Being a help mate for Him in His business if possible (Am a good secretary/admin assist. and organizer) Being there for His each want, need, desire and whim in the vanilla and in the sexual and BDSM D/s aspects.

The mistakes are not realizing that with any other type of live in arrangement; girl friend/boy friend, lovers, married, roommates, etc. that real life intrudes and we are all human and are going to have our good days and bad days and no one is perfect 24/7. Being able to find compromise as human beings without that taking away from the Dom/sub relationship.

24/7  to me is  the totality of being with someone I love and care for and am loved and cared for.  Before this can happen though, the communication must be total and open and honest with all expressing what they need exactly and what they can and cannot do and what exactly they expect and need and desire and there must be a meeting of the minds to make sure that the only thing that they have in common is NOT BDSM D/s or sex as ardour can cool, BDSM D/s can hit plateaus and  without more to base the relationship on there will be rough times ahead and possibly a parting of ways.

< Message edited by Subductrssss -- 10/10/2008 7:29:01 AM >

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The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
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(in reply to openmindedslave)
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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 7:35:16 AM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		My master is on my mind 24/7, but with us not living together it makes a 24/7 relationship difficult. I dont think you have to live together to do 24/7 i just think it makes life a little bit easier.

I like the idea of having a 24/7 relationship but sometimes its not possible, sometimes you need an hour or more to yourself, to do what you want. I think i would go stir crazy if M controlled me from the second i woke up. I need time to get my head sorted in the mornings!

Also for me at this stage of my life getting a career is important for me. So until i am settled with a job i couldn't see myself being 24/7 but it is something i would try to do, even if impossible at times.

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 7:43:04 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		24/7 means nothing to me, because people who have never met use the term.

To me, the goal used to be living with my one partner who I am married to and who is collared  to me.  Life has been rather interesting in a good way and I am seeing some other possibilities and while the underlying goal of being happy and content with someone who I spend a great deal of time with remains, the possibilities of loving more than one woman does not seem to be something I need to avoid.  I have enough love and passion to overwhelm someone and so perhaps there are situtions I cannot yet imagine that would work for me.  I do not want to love like that outside of a relationship where I look at the other person as a life partner and that is a bit I am still wrapping my head around but as for living the "lifestyle" I don't really know what that is, but I sure do enjoy all sorts of kinky sex and power exchange.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 10/10/2008 7:44:25 AM >

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 7:50:50 AM   
lilraven


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		For me being in a 24/7 relationship means being available to him 24/7. That can be a challenge since we are raising 6 children together. It also means that my Master has the final say in all things. When you bring raising a family into it there has to be times where you are more vanilla. That being said we both always know what the reality of our relationship is and that helps. I agree with the person who stated that it is an attitude.

lilraven

(in reply to openmindedslave)
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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 7:51:08 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

So what do you see 24/7  in your life?


Not one of the examples is correct or incorrect.
24 hrs must be lived hour to hour.
7 days must be lived day to day.
I don't choose when to submit, that is who I am.
My Sir doesn't choose when to be a dominant male, that is who he is.
 
Because I don't demand control of situations in my life, I avoid conflict, but I know I do have the voice and intelligence and common sense to speak up.
 
Sir is a man and likes control.  The only woman he avoids conflict with is his older sister.He is smart enough to shut up and smart enough to know when to give solid information that benefits the situation when it comes to her.
 
There are times when I MUST use Sir.  There are other times I can call him by his given name.  Using his given name does not make me less submissive...because that is what I am and using situations properly and in context makes for a good day............to.........day.............hour.....
to........hour.

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 8:03:57 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Are you free enough to be able to serve every waking moment of your life? Are you in enough control of your life to maintain authority over both of you night and day? Pardon me for thinking here, but the way I see it there is no generic, 'alternative' lifestyle, there is my lifestyle, your lifestyle, Rover's lifestyle, ResidentSadist's lifestyle, and so on and so on and so on. I wager that none of these lifestyles or ways of living resemble any other.

Yes we all live, we breathe, we sleep, we eat, we work, we play, we laugh, we cry, and we experience a whole range of thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires each and every day, but we are not the same, we are different, we are individual, we are human. If we were meant to be sheep we would grow wool.


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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 8:06:41 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

If we were meant to be sheep we would grow wool.


Wool is a little scratchy.  I prefer cotton.  Perhaps that would make me some sort of weevil.
 
John

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 8:33:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We live together. We are together as much of the time as is possible. He can make almost any decision he chooses to make, just a couple of areas are off limit. But having the ability to announce "Today you must make that chicken and eggplant dish" is not the same as always wanting to decide what's for dinner. The truth is, he's fine with pot roast or chicken parm subs or damn near anything. He doesn't really care about it as long as it's on time.

If he had to make every possible decision, he would burn out. Plus most decisions in daily life are pretty boring.

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 8:52:40 AM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have to echo what the others said. For me it is a mindset. Master and I do not live together at this time but we do consider our relationship 24/7. He is on my mind at all times and I on his. 24/7 TPE is defined by the people involved in their own relationship. 

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 9:06:16 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Fast Reply to no one in particular...
 
The analogy I use is to that of owning a car.  Owning the car does not mean that I am always driving it as fast as it will go, or even that I'm driving it at all.  Much of the time it just sits in the garage or parking lot and I'm not doing anything with it at all.  But owning it means that it is there when I want it, and that it responds as I maneuver it. 
 
I view a 24/7 relationship in much the same way.  I believe it's a fantasy to think that I could spend all day, each day, directing the every movement of a submissive/slave.  In fact, much of the time I want and need her to be self-directed, perhaps within the guidelines I have set forth for acceptable behavior, responsibility, etc.  But I also expect that she will respond to me 24/7 whenever I call upon her to do so, and accept my direction whenever I choose to maneuver her. 
 
I believe that exists without it's constant exercise.  In fact, I further believe that attempting to constantly exercise it would be evidence that someone is out of control.
 
John

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 9:42:26 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Fast Reply to no one in particular...
 
The analogy I use is to that of owning a car.  Owning the car does not mean that I am always driving it as fast as it will go, or even that I'm driving it at all.  Much of the time it just sits in the garage or parking lot and I'm not doing anything with it at all.  But owning it means that it is there when I want it, and that it responds as I maneuver it. 
 
I view a 24/7 relationship in much the same way.  I believe it's a fantasy to think that I could spend all day, each day, directing the every movement of a submissive/slave.  In fact, much of the time I want and need her to be self-directed, perhaps within the guidelines I have set forth for acceptable behavior, responsibility, etc.  But I also expect that she will respond to me 24/7 whenever I call upon her to do so, and accept my direction whenever I choose to maneuver her. 
 
I believe that exists without it's constant exercise.  In fact, I further believe that attempting to constantly exercise it would be evidence that someone is out of control.
 
John


Just felt that needed to be said again.
 
Jewel

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 9:50:55 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Fast Reply to no one in particular...
 
The analogy I use is to that of owning a car.  Owning the car does not mean that I am always driving it as fast as it will go, or even that I'm driving it at all.  Much of the time it just sits in the garage or parking lot and I'm not doing anything with it at all.  But owning it means that it is there when I want it, and that it responds as I maneuver it. 
 
I view a 24/7 relationship in much the same way.  I believe it's a fantasy to think that I could spend all day, each day, directing the every movement of a submissive/slave.  In fact, much of the time I want and need her to be self-directed, perhaps within the guidelines I have set forth for acceptable behavior, responsibility, etc.  But I also expect that she will respond to me 24/7 whenever I call upon her to do so, and accept my direction whenever I choose to maneuver her. 
 
I believe that exists without it's constant exercise.  In fact, I further believe that attempting to constantly exercise it would be evidence that someone is out of control.
 
John

To answer the OP: 24/7 to me means a live-in situation to whatever time factors I decide to work into the relationship.

To John:
There are some Dominants and some submissive who enjoy this type of relationship. Depending on the situation, I will and have done things to an extent, that others would see as micro managing. I do some of them because I enjoy it and others because the female enjoys it as well.

I just decide to drive that car a little more than another may.


< Message edited by Icarys -- 10/10/2008 9:51:46 AM >

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:11:42 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Wool is a little scratchy.  I prefer cotton.  Perhaps that would make me some sort of weevil.
 
John


Hey, but on the bright side John... weevil's wovvle but they don't fall down.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:15:00 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Wool is a little scratchy.  I prefer cotton.  Perhaps that would make me some sort of weevil.
 
John


Hey, but on the bright side John... weevil's wovvle but they don't fall down.


That is just terrible.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:20:55 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

In fact, I further believe that attempting to constantly exercise it would be evidence that someone is out of control.

To follow on the car analogy, I'm sure there are car fans who constantly baby their 'baby'. Continuous tweaking, buffing, shining, polishing...general attentivness. Perhaps we might call these sort of folks a bit obsessive or maybe even slightly humorously neurotic, but certainly not "out of control".

Icarys makes the key point that it's just another level of the dynamic that needs to be balanced between both partners and is in 'control' so long as all parties are fulfilled.


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I know they're all insane
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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:23:12 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
The analogy I use is to that of owning a car.  Owning the car does not mean that I am always driving it as fast as it will go, or even that I'm driving it at all.  Much of the time it just sits in the garage or parking lot and I'm not doing anything with it at all.  But owning it means that it is there when I want it, and that it responds as I maneuver it. 


good point, but in truth, this is yet another case of asking the wrong question so getting weird and funky answers. Does anyone truly care about the hands on the clock as it relates to defining/understanding a relationship? It is my believe that there are really two questions begin asked and addressed with the phrase "24/7"

a) How committed are you to your partner?
b) How committed are you to WIITYD

In my head, I associate the phrase "24/7" with living together only because that is, by far, the most common way in which commitment to your partner manifests. Intellectually, however, I understand full well that there are many other possible ways. Time magazine just ran an entire spread on the growing popularity of LDR's in response to financial and career pressures among just regular old vanilla folks. Clearly, there are ways to be committed without living together. This is consistent with the rather lengthy thread on labels that went through here a few weeks ago. I'm willing to use the label supplied to make some very rough guesses about the person's relationship... or how they perceive the relationship anyway. But I wait for real data to get to the heart of my real two questions above. It's kind of like how I process the word "slave" when I hear it. To me, what I hear when some submissive refers to herself as a slave is... "In my own head, I believe that I have broader boundaries than most other submissives." I have no idea in what various directions those boundaries might be broad or whether I would agree or care about them. But I do get a rough sense of where this particular person is in their own headspace.

So now maybe I can turn this thread around a bit. I'd like to ask people... "What is it that you are really asking if you ask someone whether they are 24/7 or not?" What do you care about? Is it truly the clock hands or is it something else?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:29:48 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
Wool is a little scratchy. I prefer cotton. Perhaps that would make me some sort of weevil.

John


Hey, but on the bright side John... weevil's wovvle but they don't fall down.


That is just terrible.

the.dark.


I agree, it's baaa-d.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:31:06 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		I have had the 24/7 dynamic work phenomenally well, and Universe willing, will again. The thing is, 24/7 isn't actually incompatible with a "normal life".

My Cera was mine 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But I she had standing permission to act independently in various aspects of her life, unless explicitly overridden by me. When you value someone's intellect, their creativity, their social prowess, and their generosity, of course you aren't going to stifle those by putting ridiculous control-strictures on them - you want to give your property the leeway to exercise their judgement. Otherwise, why would you seek to possess something with judgement in the first place? But they're still your property, and they're still under your control and your orders, even if your orders in many situations are simply "be yourself".



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Profile   Post #: 40
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