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RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:34:54 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
That is just terrible.

the.dark.

WOOHOO! Terrible has got to be at least one step closer towards that much coveted "dark and dangerous" thing. I can just feel the vanilla-ness shedding off me. Look, I've even put up a new profile pic (which will eventually get approved) that shows me wearing a bunch of black.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 41

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 11:40:01 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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*Shocked look*
What happened to the cricket whites? I cannot say I am no upset now... I was sooooo looking forward to that.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 42

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 12:03:29 PM

masterforRT

Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
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I can answer this with one word:

NO.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 43

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 12:06:46 PM

slaveboy291

Posts: 329
Joined: 3/5/2006
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Yes

(in reply to masterforRT)

Post #: 44

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 2:35:54 PM

SirLordspet

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

There is no doubt that everyone in this lifesyle views it differently. i do live (my definition of) a 24/7 relationship. W/we live together in the same house. i am property, i am owned. i make no decisions without His approval and permission. Becoming His property was the last decision that i freely made on my own and i have never regretted it. However, there are many that would not be happy with O/our lifestyle. What is important is making our wants and needs known when seeking a partner and to NOT assume that we automatically view all elements in the same light.

However, i am fully aware that many others have different opinions of what a 24/7 relatinshp is or isn't. The one discussion tht i have learned to avoid on this site is the difference between a slave and a submissive. lol.. geez.. lot of submissives parading as slaves.. in my opinion.. but then again.. we all have a right to our own opinions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I see so many who say they seek a 24/7 relationship on Collarme? So what does it mean to you and what do you hink most people mistake about a full time relationship in this lifestyle ?
Recently I had a conversation with three woman of which two considered them selves Mistresses and the other more of switch in their interest. All three saw this lifestyle slightly differnt and yet all three were seeking a permant realtionship.

One saw this lifestyle as a part of her life for the last 2 decades. She saw permant realtionship with a slave as being great but not to the point of managing their everyday lives..To stressfull to micro manage ,but enjoyed the idea of a constant person in her life with no sexual contact.

The second woman would love to play occassionally but her version of 24/7 was to play behind closed doors only occassionally and seem like a vanilla couple in public with the hint of her control when their behind closed doors.

The last was a switch that her version of 24/7 would involve playing with other couples and having some vanilla in their lives. She would expect sexual play and control in the bedroom but not to the extend of alot of humilation ..

So what do you see 24/7 in your life?

_____________________________

Sirlord's pet

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 45

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/10/2008 2:44:54 PM

spankablemilf

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
So what do you see 24/7 in your life?

To me it means that I am his. That ever fiber of my being is his to do with what he wants. Whether that means that I'm his sex partner at night, his secretary or housekeeper during the day, or anything in between. I am his. I am granted individual freedoms at his behest, but it's granted through him. It's not a given. I also have a responsibility to represent him in public, meaning that I have to be properly behaved whether we have company, or if I'm at the grocery store. He can use my intellect to further himself if he so desires. I am just his totally literally 24/7, doesn't mean that I have to be in his presence at all times to be that way either.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 46

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 7:32:59 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To John:
There are some Dominants and some submissive who enjoy this type of relationship. Depending on the situation, I will and have done things to an extent, that others would see as micro managing. I do some of them because I enjoy it and others because the female enjoys it as well.

I just decide to drive that car a little more than another may.

Even micromanagement is not driving the car 24/7.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 47

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 7:38:20 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

To follow on the car analogy, I'm sure there are car fans who constantly baby their 'baby'. Continuous tweaking, buffing, shining, polishing...general attentivness. Perhaps we might call these sort of folks a bit obsessive or maybe even slightly humorously neurotic, but certainly not "out of control".

Terms such as "continuous" and "constantly" used in such a context are exaggerations. If you were to picture someone who does not have friends, no contact with their family, cannot work, is unable to tend to any other issues or functions in their life... then you might approach "continuous" or "constantly". And I believe that would clearly be an example of someone who is out of control.

quote:

Icarys makes the key point that it's just another level of the dynamic that needs to be balanced between both partners and is in 'control' so long as all parties are fulfilled.

Micromanagement may or may not be an example of someone who is out of control. If they're doing it for the fulfillment and gratification, that's one thing. But if they're doing it because they don't know how to stop, that's out of control.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 48

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 7:46:14 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

So now maybe I can turn this thread around a bit. I'd like to ask people... "What is it that you are really asking if you ask someone whether they are 24/7 or not?"

Personally, to me the question refers to one's relationship dynamic, which is the only thing that's unique to leather (ie: partners can live together in any lifestyle) that can be 24/7. You can't flog 24/7 day in and day out, you can't be in bondage 24/7 day in and day out, you can't even micromanage 24/7 day in and day out. No matter how much you may enjoy those things it's a physical impossibility.

But a relationship dynamic can exist 24/7 day in and day out.

quote:

What do you care about? Is it truly the clock hands or is it something else?

I care that I can exercise my ownership (or not) whenever and wherever I may choose to do so... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, day in and day out.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 49

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 7:48:23 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

But they're still your property, and they're still under your control and your orders, even if your orders in many situations are simply "be yourself".

Similarly, your ownership of your car is just as valid even though you may not choose to be driving it at the moment.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

Post #: 50

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 8:16:51 AM

Rever

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline

24/7 seems to be a kinda a shady description to me.

< Message edited by Rever -- 10/11/2008 8:18:25 AM >

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 51

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 8:32:54 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

So what does it mean to you and what do you hink most people

Something I have been discussing with a close friend recently. We don't talk about 24/7 marriages do we - because, well, the relationship is always there right? Obvious, right?

To me 24/7 means ... well ... a relationship that has been managed to meld with the lives of both parties. I don't know (as in first hand, real life friends) anyone who lives 24/7 in high protocol, naked and chained. I know *plenty* of people who have found a balance of BDSM in their relationships which means they are as much a D/s couple in Sainsbury's choosing what type of cat litter to buy as they are in the depths of a heavy scene.

A sound and healthy 24/7 .. is one where *both* people get to be who and what they need and desire to be ... its one that is fluid, and adaptable. I cannot be a slavering sex kitten 24 hours a day 7 days a week, neither can I cope with every second of my day being regimented by protocol regulation. I dont want to be with someone who is wearing their Dom trousers all the time either - I want to be able to be silly, and daft with them and take the piss when they do stupid stuff. None of that means I dont also want to spent time scrubbing the kitchen floor with a pony tail stuck in my ass and a floor brush between my teeth. None of that means I dont want to be with someone who scares the crap out of me and can push me right to the limit of my endurance.

for me .. a 24/7 relationship will always been one which is strong enough and elastic enough to be pulled in all the different directions we are pulled during a week ... and not to snap.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 52

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 8:37:52 AM

allyC

Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
So what do you see 24/7 in your life?

For me it is being his slave in all ways, always. It is obeying in joy and even in anger or tears. It is weathering all that life throws at us while continuing to be what we are to each other. It is the constant mastery that he exhibits and the ever growing path of enslavement that draws me deeper into him. It is simply who we are and what we are - every moment of the day. Well wishes, Cav's ally

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 53

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 10:42:00 AM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

So what do you see 24/7 in your life?

Simple really

I see that i am Her slave 24/7/365 regardless of the setting or who is present. We may change the outward appearance out of respect for those around us, however the base dynamic never changes.

Pushing our choices and beliefs on others is not a lifestyle, it's abuse and disrespect.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 54

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 11:30:59 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

**FR**

although I'm in the very early stages of a relationship, I would define 24/7 as beginning when we both agree that we are going to commit to each other and become officially 'a couple'.

At that point, we have already agreed that my work and his work are not times where D/s will occur. During those periods I will not ask him for anything, and he will not demand anything of me. We have also agreed that family commitments on both sides should be prioritised and the D/s would be minimised during those periods. Friends are also important, and we will not sabotage each other's friendships.

The remaining time will be totally under his control. He may allow me to go out and see friends, he may prefer to keep me with him. But whatever, his wish is my wish, and I will serve him in the way he wants. But overall, our relationship is based on mutual trust, particularly when we can't be together.

When we are together, then the dynamic remains the same, but is obviously a lot more intense and immediate.

For me, this is ideal, and what I would class as 24/7.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to softpjOS)

Post #: 55

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 12:21:59 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

To John:
There are some Dominants and some submissive who enjoy this type of relationship. Depending on the situation, I will and have done things to an extent, that others would see as micro managing. I do some of them because I enjoy it and others because the female enjoys it as well.

I just decide to drive that car a little more than another may.

Even micromanagement is not driving the car 24/7.

John

I went through this before on another post and frankly it gets old saying what seems to be obvious to me. NO situation is ever 24/7 completely. To say though that you see someone every so often and still can call yourself that to me is BS..if you want to do it I really couldn't care less..it's entirely up to whomever wants to use the term.

I may drive that "car" more that you do but that in no way diminishes my way of life no matter what you or any other person wants to think.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 56

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 1:34:11 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

24/7 does not mean live in necessarily. It doesnt mean that the salve gives up their careers, their school, anything like that. After all, what good isa slave who simply becomes a burden on the Master or Mistress?
For us, 24/7 means that Fox is mine every moment of every day. He can be at school, at work, here in our home and he is still mine. He thinks about me and how to please me all the time, even if he only acts it out when it is appropriate. He does well in school and excells at work to better our life together.
I do not want to micromanage. I cose a slave who can take care of himself so I don hae to worry about that. I do want one who knows that on the drop of a hat he is at my side, and doing as I please. We have set priorities but when his time isnt being spent at school or at work, it is mine to do with as I please. That is what being 24/7 means to me.

DV

What she said

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to VampiresLair)

Post #: 57

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 1:47:20 PM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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FR

its whatever you want it to mean, all of this is what you want it to mean at the end of the day. For me im a girl 24/7 im in a relaionship 24/7 same thing really. Its 24/7 within the parameters of whatever our relationship is and thats all that matters really. Ive been reading the new topping book recently and i think its rather getting to me, those women have an amazing ability to make me question my own reality. At the end of the day nothing that we do is standard its just what we do and how we describe it and it really doesnt matter, we do things in life to make ourselves happy and explain it in whatever way we are comfortable with full stop.

_____________________________

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 58

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/11/2008 6:02:20 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*fast reply*

I want 24/7, but my idea of 24/7 wont be like the other persons. For me it means a comminted relationship, where we are together. I'm his main partner and he mine. Everyone has their own take on this. 24/7 does not mean to me that I am naked and chained to the hot water heater all day...It does not mean I do not have a life of my own without him. Again..this is MY personal take on 24/7.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 59

RE: Do you really seek to live this lifestyle 24/7? - 10/12/2008 4:24:22 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

The relationship with Mistress is our own unique style. On one half of the equation, we live a vanilla life where we are equals, but I choose to defer to her on most things because she is my domme. We have to agree on major purchases or other life changing decisions, but smaller things are usually decided by her. She takes my life experience into consideration when it comes to my knowledge of finances and other daily life things. We are very lovey-dovey in public...holding hands, light kissing, affectionate pats and gropes, things like that, but there is always the air of her dominance over me.

On the other side of the equation, we live a loosely structured 24/7 Mistress/slave relationship. I get to be my playful, smart-ass self, but she is ultimately queen. I usually cater to her as a servant and butler unless she instructs me not to because she wants to do things herself. There is no micromanaging here. I'm not controled to the point where I need permission to think or go to the bathroom. I'm very self-sufficient and am not like some subs that can no longer make decisions on their own because of their dependence on their dominant. We have a major rubber fetish, so I'm often required to wear something tight, shiny, and restrictive for her. In some ways, it's difficult to describe, but it works for us.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Post #: 60

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