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RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/13/2008 8:32:46 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well my sub male is not "average" and I did not meet him on CM so I guess that leaves him out of your equation. My sub male is a great guy and I love him very much. He serves me well, is very loving, obedient and pleasing. He has lots of friends and family that care about him. He masturbates when I tell him too and I allow him to watch some porn. He aspires to become a chef one day and I support him in that. He will submit to no one but me. So we have a good thing going between us.

Now what about the "average" sub who does fit your equation? Well he needs to take a good look at himself and take his hand off his cock and get a good grip on reality. If he wants to meet a Domme and form a relationship he has to have something going for himself. Let's face it a man would not want a woman who had nothing going for her so the opposite rings true the other way around.

Just my thoughts.
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/13/2008 9:41:46 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste
It's my perception
that the general female dominant's perception


I sense that this thread is a rant about rants or generalizations against submissive men. Yes, I have seen the points listed to be suggested as generalizations against submissive men in recent threads and I sometimes find it weary.

I don't, however, fully agree with the OP.

I agree that rants outnumber positive threads but that is just how it is. Generally frustration serves as a greater motivator to write about something in comparison to a status of being content.

Also, I think some posters tend to complain against men more frequently than the average poster--you will find some names to be common as originators of rants, or as regular contributors to such rants. So multiple rants might in fact be originated by one person. And when such a rant or complaint is written, some other posters whose experience has been similar to the issue at hand chime in to agree, which creates a perception that the generalization being suggested by the discussion is held to be true by more women than actually is true.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/13/2008 9:48:41 PM >

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 3:17:03 AM   
GoodgirlFind


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra



Now what about the "average" sub who does fit your equation? Well he needs to take a good look at himself and take his hand off his cock and get a good grip on reality. If he wants to meet a Domme and form a relationship he has to have something going for himself. Let's face it a man would not want a woman who had nothing going for her so the opposite rings true the other way around.

Just my thoughts.
~Lashra



Gosh you should see what I experience out there. LOL. I have to agree with what you said as it hits home at my reality in talking to many subbies out there. It can weigh you down after some time unfortunately. I think there are too many horny men out there who really want nothing to do with the domina, except to get off. It's like it's all a big joke to them.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 3:18:11 AM   
GoodgirlFind


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
And you've got an enormous . . . hallway.


actually it's pretty narrow, i can't even fully extend my elbows while walking down it, it's about the typical width of a doorway~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
And you're sweet, too!


shhhh, it's best not to mention that right after 'a modest proposal' has been brought up! 


Now why aren't there more of you. Your just the sweetest as they come!!

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 4:49:21 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

I sense that this thread is a rant about rants or generalizations against submissive men. Yes, I have seen the points listed to be suggested as generalizations against submissive men in recent threads and I sometimes find it weary.


Ahhh... but you see, Sea... Rants are very therapeutic.  We have an entire section for just "Positive Experiences".  It's not nearly as active as the ranting sections.

Rants help the OP by letting them 'vent' and get things off their chest.  It's also good for them to hear other posters comments because it helps the OP get a better handle on the situation by analyzing what others have done in the same situation.  It helps the follow up posters realize they are NOT alone in the problems and therefore they don't feel quite so much like "There must be something wrong with ME because everyone else is so happy and I have so many problems."

(I'll use me as an example because everyone knows that if I even vaguely hint at another person, I get in big trouble.  *eye roll*)  If all I ever posted was "My Westie is so wonderful! He's every thing I need or want."  First off, it'd be dull as dishwater.  No one cares.  Life is Conflict.  Resolution of Conflict promotes growth.  If everyone was happy... we'd all be  stagnant Eloi.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 7:18:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Rants are very therapeutic.

<snip>

It's also good for them to hear other posters comments because it helps the OP get a better handle on the situation by analyzing what others have done in the same situation. 


I agree entirely.

I agree that frustration is more likely to motivate one to write about an issue than a status quo or a state of being content.

I also agree that rants serve a purpose. Indeed they enable venting and the type of communication you describe. Also, they bring attention to behavior that is or has potential to be problematic.

The down side of rants against the other side is that they carry negativity, and they can create an us versus them air. And rants often take the behavior of one or a few and generalize it to all or many, which feels unfair to those to whom the generalization does not apply. That is not to say that rants should not be done because of this negativity. However, I think there are ways to achieve the benefits of rants and minimize the cons through appropriately wording the rant.

I apply this perspective to rants from women, and to rants from men, be they about financial stuff, or something along the lines of this thread.

As for my reference to weary, there was a sub who used to post here who constantly criticized and spoke negatively of professional dommes. I think this constant negativity affected how he was perceived by dommes in general. A constant flow of criticism and negativity can create the same result for anyone.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 7:45:17 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		<< just glad I am so NOT average >>

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 10:43:46 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, this is a fairly serious question.

Unwanted animals have the pound. Unwanted children have foster care. Adults who aren't wanted by employers have homeless shelters. But here we've got a numerically significant lump of people that just aren't wanted on an interpersonal level. Since we're obviously something of a plague to Female Dominants I was curious as to whether there are any plausible solutions out there.


_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 10:49:19 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		We could rent a wood chipper.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/14/2008 11:30:40 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

We could rent a wood chipper.



OMG! We're bringing in Tiger?

Chipping with a 3 wood can be an odd but great shot.

                   And a hush falls over the gallery
 
chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/15/2008 5:36:32 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Good Points, Sea.

Y'all are just going to have to pardon me for the rest of the month.  I'm currently working 66 hours a week.  I doubt I'll do much more than rant for the next 2 - 3 weeks.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/15/2008 2:15:36 PM   
RubberLovers777


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		Hmmm the 'average submissive male'...well I can't speak for them all but what I've seen in the past were men who liked things rough and called it kinky.

Now I have really lucked out when pet contacted me, as he's very social (even more than myself), does have his own direction in life and is a self motivated, does not hang on to my every word. Though instead actually has his own life and knows how to live it. He's very much the 'anti-subby' because if I would have met him in the normal world I would have never taken him for being submissive in the least. He's very outspoken when needs to be or appropriate, very orientated to what needs to be done and does it, and very authoritative in the world. However when he's with me he opens to the other side of himself.

My advise to Domme's who are still looking is, don't settle for less than your looking for or you will be disappointed. Don't find the 'average sub' find the one that matches your likes and tastes the absolute best. I did and I couldn't be happier. ~Lorelei

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/15/2008 2:22:36 PM   
allowmetoserv


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/1/2008
Status: offline 		i hate my life because im in love with the idea of submitting to woman but girls love me...to dominate them...and i hate them for it...but somehow they create this perception of me based on my dominant personality...life is complicated...i wish there was a book with all the answers..

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/15/2008 3:43:58 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberLovers777
Now I have really lucked out when pet contacted me, as he's very social (even more than myself), does have his own direction in life and is a self motivated, does not hang on to my every word. Though instead actually has his own life and knows how to live it. He's very much the 'anti-subby' because if I would have met him in the normal world I would have never taken him for being submissive in the least. He's very outspoken when needs to be or appropriate, very orientated to what needs to be done and does it, and very authoritative in the world. However when he's with me he opens to the other side of himself.


I know, I know... the only submissive male worth having is one who shows no submissive qualities whatsoever. This isn't about them. They're all spoken for, fawned over, and can go to hell.

quote:


My advise to Domme's who are still looking is, don't settle for less than your looking for or you will be disappointed. Don't find the 'average sub' find the one that matches your likes and tastes the absolute best. I did and I couldn't be happier. ~Lorelei


Terrible advice. As the OP of this thread, I'm going to have to ask the audience to disregard those instructions. I recommend the following technique:



< Message edited by OneMoreWaste -- 10/15/2008 4:35:30 PM >

_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

(in reply to RubberLovers777)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/15/2008 3:57:13 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		If your goal in life is to be an "average submale"...its time for a new goal!
Strive to be the best that you can be, but be yourself!  A Lady is going to be far more interested in your intelligence, your sense of humor, your kindness and willingness to please her.
Unfortunately, the stereotype is out there that submissive males are all the things you listed because, sadly, many of them have no concept of true submission, and for them it is simply a sexual fetish or a game.  Thus, the "do-me" submissive.
Good, truly submissive men realize their part in the equation of Feminine-led D/s.  They know that they are in an active partnership, or are seeking an active and healthy partnership and go about trying to find one as you may seek a job employment...by putting your best foot forward.

(in reply to OneMoreWaste)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/17/2008 10:15:10 PM   
ShyAllison1919


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FetishRose

If your goal in life is to be an "average submale"...its time for a new goal!
Strive to be the best that you can be, but be yourself!  A Lady is going to be far more interested in your intelligence, your sense of humor, your kindness and willingness to please her.
Unfortunately, the stereotype is out there that submissive males are all the things you listed because, sadly, many of them have no concept of true submission, and for them it is simply a sexual fetish or a game.  Thus, the "do-me" submissive.
Good, truly submissive men realize their part in the equation of Feminine-led D/s.  They know that they are in an active partnership, or are seeking an active and healthy partnership and go about trying to find one as you may seek a job employment...by putting your best foot forward.



Perfectly true and eloquently expressed.  We sometimes forget that we're people at heart and our sexual activities are merely an aspect of our selves.  Too many put the cart (of sexual pleasure) in front of the horse (of being good people).

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What do you think the "average submale" s... - 10/18/2008 1:28:37 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subexploring


But I do have to admit that the chronic masturbator part is uncomfortably close to the mark.

To kind of change the words to a country song around a bit:
"I was masturbating, when masturbating wasn't cool"

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to subexploring)
Profile   Post #: 57
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