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What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 7:40:24 AM

Obezyanka

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

My master has gotten into a fascination of blocking my breathing, I was taken by surprise when he clamped his hand over my mouth and blocked my nostrils off with his thumb, it actually frightened me.
Then the other day he tried to "block" the blood flow to my brain, by pressing his fingers against my veins in my throat, that scared me more cause I remember seeing it on Xena when I was younger lol.

He says it's so I can relax or that I can be light headed but I don't get it. He told me early on in our relationship that he had a girlfriend who choked him until he blacked out.
He told me it was mainly for trust and that was all.

So what was he going on about?
Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 7:45:19 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Breath Play Click HERE

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 2

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 7:47:07 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Some people like breath control. Why varies.

Some like the control..that someone can taketh away and giveth.

Some like the adrenaline rush from the danger.

Others like the light feeling that they get from the restriction of bloodflow to the brain.

It sounds like he told you what he was up to and why. So why are you asking us?

Sounds like to me you need to talk to him if you have concerns.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 3

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 7:47:55 AM

ApathyRomance

Posts: 106
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

I learned how to do this from a girlfriend who would orgasm many times from it. If you don't like it tell him not to do it. If he thinks it's a trust building thing (which it definitely could be!) you might want to sit down and talk about limits and edges you are willing to push.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 4

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 8:12:15 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

If it scares you, don't let him do it. Period. If he refuses to listen, stay away from him. If he says he won't do it again and then does it anyway, press charges against him for assault.

In the meantime, here is some information about strangulation injuries and breath play:

http://www.emedicine.com/EMERG/topic227.htm

http://www.fortunecity.com/westwood/carving/417/breathplay.html

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to ApathyRomance)

Post #: 5

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 8:53:45 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Breath play isn't about trust. It is about danger because it can always go wrong. If he doesn't know enough about it to know this much, then he sure shouldn't be doing it.

Both of you need to educate yourselves on the risk involved. You: dropping dead or being brain damaged. Him: prison.
And if you both don't agree to take this risk, then don't do it. If you say you aren't willing to risk this and he does it anyway, then he's proved you can't trust him. Trust runs both ways, not just one.

Being choked turns him on. He isn't bothering to pay attention to your reactions to realize that it doesn't do that for you. Are you sure you want someone who doesn't pay attention to your reactions to be endangering your life?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 6

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 10:13:17 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

A really good way to have a stroke (cva) is to have someone block off the arteries in your neck - if the two of you are going to indulge in this sort of play then you need to make sure he has a grasp of anatomy and risks and responsibilities.

Some of the risks are not curable.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 11:30:58 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

This is high risk stuff, even in Oz

. If it scares you, tell him no. And as others have said, if he does it regardless, walk. He should discuss with you if he wants you to experience edge sensations, but just because he liked it, doesn't mean he can do it to you, I see either a communication issue, or a lack of respect for you. There is a percentage of practitioners that die from the practice - me personally, I like the edge, but not the type that I or she have to update the will for.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 8

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 1:22:06 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

I'm sorry, but if someone did something to me without knowing the risks involved or without having seemingly ANY concern for my well-being and/or life, I would run like hell. But that's just me I guess....I value this life I have.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 9

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 8:40:45 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Is this something that you agreed to? Doing something like this without talking and agreeing on it prior will actually shake the trust foundation. Talk to him and if you do not want to do it, DO NOT. If he cares about your relationship he will respect your limits.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 10

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/12/2008 11:03:16 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

It really bothers me that your scared and that this isn't something that you both agreed upon before he tried this on you even once.

Telling you that a girl did this to him to teach him trust is totally different then him getting YOU to agree to partake in this behavior.

This isn't getting you to relax and trust, it's doing the complete opposite. How can you trust him when he is doing something that could harm you without you're permission. Even though it's a power exchange and he is the one in charge, You still have the right..no NEED to let him know what you will and will not let him do to your body and he needs to respect whatever limits you set, or he isn't the right match for you.

Please have a talk with him. Let him know that what he's doing is scaring you.

_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 11

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 12:35:59 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

What everyone else said.

The fact that he did this to you without prior discussion is a HUGE RED FLAG, to me.

What other EXTREMELY DANGEROUS things is he going to do to you without any prior discussion or warning???

You could DIE (or end up maimed or with serious brain damage) never having had any prior discussion, warning, or even given your consent to whatever EXTREMELY DANGEROUS activity he has in mind next.

Have you written a will? And do you have a living will, in case you end up a vegetable?

_____________________________

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(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 12

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 2:33:38 AM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

I think breathing is over rated. I just inject oxygen directly into my lungs.
Have you tried injections of pressurised air?
The thing that makes me laugh about breath control is what they think they are going to say to the Police when someone winds up dead.
It's like this officer, he/she let me do it......

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 13

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 5:13:56 AM

Obezyanka

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for your answers,
He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before).

(in reply to tweedydaddy)

Post #: 14

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 5:46:42 AM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

Thanks for your answers,
He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before).

Oh geeze sweety, it sounds to me that this isn't good. Now I'm just scared for you.

There is a big difference between dominance and domineering. He isn't teaching you trust. If he wanted to teach you trust, he would hear you tell him "No" to the anal because your tender and then he would leave your rump alone, thus teaching you that you can trust him to do what's best for you.

To me as an outsider hearing what your telling us, it sounds like this man is just greedy and is out to take from you what he can whilst telling you it's all for your betterment.

I guess what scares me is that this is no longer consent. You said '"No".T hough he didn't have anal sex with you he still crossed your "No" and penetrated you with his fingers. That is NOT okay. It's just not. This seems to be crossing the line from BDSM to abuse and I've never ever said anything like this lightly in my two years on this board.

Please think about why your in this relationship, what your getting out of it and what could happen if you stay.

~a very worried dancer

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 10/13/2008 5:47:31 AM >

_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 15

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 7:37:16 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

What dancer said. He's violating you without your consent, because the moment you said no you had withdrawn consent and he's risking your life doing things he is ignorant about. Is this what you want?

He's right in that it is all about trust. He doesn't have any reason for you to trust him. He lost your trust through his actions.

If you think he's worth it, then revoke your submission, tell him how badly he's fucked up, and demand he earn your trust by demonstrating that he does care about your health and safety and well being.

Personally, I'd take a good hard look at the relationship and decide that anyone who would do this is not someone I wanted to be with.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to desertdancer)

Post #: 16

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 8:24:44 AM

sailorfrank

Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline

Good grief?? Please explore and set your Hard Limits before you get seriously hurt. Hard limits are there to protect us from harm or anything we fear or dis-like!

Discuss them with him and if he doesnt listen...pack your things and say Goodbye! Trust must always work both ways okay?

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 17

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 8:34:54 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips.

It appears to be all about blind trust to him. Trust is never automatic, it must be earned. Everything he is doing, from what you have described, is using guilt and intimidation and that has nothing to do with earning trust. If you agreed to allow him to do anything to you, fine. But if that is not the case, he has stepped way over the bounds of a responsible Dom.

Breath play in particular, is about the most extreme form of the edge play. A great many of my bdsm friends, even some of the most wicked sadists I know, will not do breath control under any circumstances.

You can sit him down and have a talk about what your limits are, but quite frankly, he sounds like someone I would suggest you have nothing to do with again. There are plenty of Doms out there.

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 18

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 9:07:37 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka

Thanks for your answers,
He is kind of controlling of me, in more then BDSM, it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips. The other day I said no to anal as my anus was very tender. He took three of his fingers and shoved them in my anus and made a thrusting motion, it was so painful that I actually screamed in agony. (Which I have never done before).

What are you still doing with this man? He has, in my opinion, crossed the line here. "No" is a complete sentence. If he is going against your express wishes now, I'd hate to see what happens down the road. This isn't control, it's abuse. He has NO regard for your well-being. This pisses me off and scares me.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 19

RE: What was my master doing to me?! - 10/13/2008 9:13:47 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Obezyanka
it's all about trust to him, in other words he gets me with guilt trips

More specifically, it's all about your blind trust of him. He, apparently, has zero trust in you.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Obezyanka)

Post #: 20

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