three rules of a 'top' (Full Version)

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Lordi71 -> three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 11:57:57 AM)

okay may be being a little blonde but, what are the agreed three rules of being a 'top' am sure its safe sane and consensual, but are there any others????






missturbation -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 11:59:37 AM)

The rules are there ain't no rules!!
 
No hard and fast for every dynamic anyway.
Basically whatever the rules are you and your partner set are the rules.



DesFIP -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:05:28 PM)

Talk to your partner before and after, and sometimes during.
Keep an eye on how your partner is doing.
Know them well enough to interpret body language for when/if they go nonverbal or are too spaced out to be able to accurately identify what shape they're in.
Do not expect that you can do anything until they safeword, lots of us go nonverbal and can't talk.

If someone sets a limit before play and then says they want you to break it during play - don't. If they aren't willing when they are in their right mind, they will be angry at you after coming out of space. If they really have changed their mind, you can do it to them the next time. Remember a no can be easily changed to a yes but you can't undo something you've done.



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:05:50 PM)

lol thank you for yr response...much appreciated



dangerousangel -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:10:26 PM)

Three rules? I just got one. Never violate informed consent.



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:15:29 PM)

maybe I am getting caught up with labels and definitions.....thank you to all replies :)



RCdc -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:16:06 PM)

There are no set rules apart from the ones you negociate with the bottom.
Other than that - enjoy!
 
The only thing I would recommend, but it's not a rule, is communicate and do it clearly.  Don't dillydally or pander about.  Be upfront and clear.
 
the.dark.



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:22:46 PM)

this is looking like the discussion myself and my fellow Dom mate had. its certainly open to one's perception....



PrincessJ77 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:26:46 PM)

I always make sure my top fits well, is stylish and priced reasonably. 



Daes -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:31:53 PM)

Ive always like Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) better than SSC

Know who you are in order to find a suitable partner, know what you want (play and relationshipwise), and do your homework to limit any risks that could be involved in executing those wants.

=)



moonvine -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:32:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessJ77

I always make sure my top fits well, is stylish and priced reasonably. 


Where do you find tops that meet all 3 of these criteria?   For me the hardest one to find is "priced reasonably." 



monywildcat -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:32:49 PM)

And no top should be "dry clean only"...that goes for the bottoms, too!  I'm too damn lazy to run to and from the dry cleaners!

Edited to add seriousness:  But really, this question is open to lots and lots of interpretation, depending on the person that you are involved with.  Person A's "rules" may very well differ greatly from Person B.  Perhaps you could identify the guidelines that you want to personally adhere to, and go from there? 



bipolarber -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:33:36 PM)

I believe in "The Campground Rule." That is, you alwasy leave your partner in the same shape as you found them... or better.  But SSC or RACK is a good place to start.



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:38:06 PM)


lol somehow I knew this would deterioate into mayhem lol...







monywildcat -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:39:18 PM)

What can I say, we are helpful.  [:D] It's what we do. 



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:42:13 PM)

indeed still helpful but bringing a smile ot everyones face :)




MtGames -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 12:45:00 PM)

lets see...
1. Don't break your toys, good subs are hard to replace.
2. Never play while angry, doing so risks breaking rule 1.
3. Have fun, if you aren't having fun then change what you are doing.



RumpusParable -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 1:15:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordi71

okay may be being a little blonde but, what are the agreed three rules of being a 'top' am sure its safe sane and consensual, but are there any others????


There are no "rules" -certainly not of the everyone-generally-agress-to-these sort.  Each makes their own guidelines.

To include "SSC"... many of us don't follow the safe-sane-consentual creed, but prefer RACK (risk aware consentual kink) or no such thing at all.  I tend to be a RACK and none-of-the-above player.

I top based on what my bottom and I negotiate or fail to negotiate on.  Actual scenes/play can very greatly with the bottom and my mood.



Lordi71 -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 1:20:45 PM)

RACK does seem more usable in everyday life....



subtee -> RE: three rules of a 'top' (10/13/2008 1:23:58 PM)

Don't have better hair...dammit.

[;)]



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