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three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 11:57:57 AM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		okay may be being a little blonde but, what are the agreed three rules of being a 'top' am sure its safe sane and consensual, but are there any others????



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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 11:59:37 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		The rules are there ain't no rules!!
 
No hard and fast for every dynamic anyway.
Basically whatever the rules are you and your partner set are the rules.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:05:28 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Talk to your partner before and after, and sometimes during.
Keep an eye on how your partner is doing.
Know them well enough to interpret body language for when/if they go nonverbal or are too spaced out to be able to accurately identify what shape they're in.
Do not expect that you can do anything until they safeword, lots of us go nonverbal and can't talk.

If someone sets a limit before play and then says they want you to break it during play - don't. If they aren't willing when they are in their right mind, they will be angry at you after coming out of space. If they really have changed their mind, you can do it to them the next time. Remember a no can be easily changed to a yes but you can't undo something you've done.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:05:50 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		lol thank you for yr response...much appreciated

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:10:26 PM   
dangerousangel


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		Three rules? I just got one. Never violate informed consent.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:15:29 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		maybe I am getting caught up with labels and definitions.....thank you to all replies :)

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:16:06 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		There are no set rules apart from the ones you negociate with the bottom.
Other than that - enjoy!
 
The only thing I would recommend, but it's not a rule, is communicate and do it clearly.  Don't dillydally or pander about.  Be upfront and clear.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:22:46 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		this is looking like the discussion myself and my fellow Dom mate had. its certainly open to one's perception....

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:26:46 PM   
PrincessJ77


Posts: 372
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: point A
Status: offline 		I always make sure my top fits well, is stylish and priced reasonably. 

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:31:53 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		Ive always like Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) better than SSC

Know who you are in order to find a suitable partner, know what you want (play and relationshipwise), and do your homework to limit any risks that could be involved in executing those wants.

=)


< Message edited by Daes -- 10/13/2008 12:34:01 PM >

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:32:07 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessJ77

I always make sure my top fits well, is stylish and priced reasonably. 


Where do you find tops that meet all 3 of these criteria?   For me the hardest one to find is "priced reasonably." 


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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:32:49 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		And no top should be "dry clean only"...that goes for the bottoms, too!  I'm too damn lazy to run to and from the dry cleaners!

Edited to add seriousness:  But really, this question is open to lots and lots of interpretation, depending on the person that you are involved with.  Person A's "rules" may very well differ greatly from Person B.  Perhaps you could identify the guidelines that you want to personally adhere to, and go from there? 

< Message edited by monywildcat -- 10/13/2008 12:36:31 PM >

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:33:36 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		I believe in "The Campground Rule." That is, you alwasy leave your partner in the same shape as you found them... or better.  But SSC or RACK is a good place to start.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:38:06 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline
lol somehow I knew this would deterioate into mayhem lol...





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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:39:18 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		What can I say, we are helpful.   It's what we do. 

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Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:42:13 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		indeed still helpful but bringing a smile ot everyones face :)


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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 12:45:00 PM   
MtGames


Posts: 37
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Missoula, MT
Status: offline 		lets see...
1. Don't break your toys, good subs are hard to replace.
2. Never play while angry, doing so risks breaking rule 1.
3. Have fun, if you aren't having fun then change what you are doing.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 1:15:41 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordi71

okay may be being a little blonde but, what are the agreed three rules of being a 'top' am sure its safe sane and consensual, but are there any others????


There are no "rules" -certainly not of the everyone-generally-agress-to-these sort.  Each makes their own guidelines.

To include "SSC"... many of us don't follow the safe-sane-consentual creed, but prefer RACK (risk aware consentual kink) or no such thing at all.  I tend to be a RACK and none-of-the-above player.

I top based on what my bottom and I negotiate or fail to negotiate on.  Actual scenes/play can very greatly with the bottom and my mood.

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Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 1:20:45 PM   
Lordi71


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		RACK does seem more usable in everyday life....

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RE: three rules of a 'top' - 10/13/2008 1:23:58 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Don't have better hair...dammit.



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Don't believe everything you think...

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