Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:08:21 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

~fr~
A dom/master can't be too nice.  As long as there are times I get to see a little mean, it's all good.



So by definition  if you dont see them mean then they are being too nice

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:14:39 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		The short answer is YES.  The truth in the real world is if both parties get what they need form the relationship, that is all that matters. Don't analyze it...... seize it.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:17:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I like nice guys.  But they need to be able to hurt me a little, with an evil grin, and make me upset/uncomfortable or I know it will never work.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:18:56 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		So therefore they can be too nice, without the element of hurting and making you feel uncomfy you wouldnt be able to sustain a relationship with them, so there is such a thing as too nice for you.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:22:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I can be the nicest person in the world, until I am in the mood to not be.

The best part is when I am giving the illusion of nice, and reach out and sneak attack with the mean evil!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:24:34 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Yes, there probably is something as "too nice" for me.  If a dominant has absolutely no sadistic tendancy at all it wouldn't work.  I'm not in to sadists, believe me, I'm a light-weight when it comes to pain.  But I've gotta have some of it.   And weirdly enough, I need to know that a guy is into me enough to make me feel a little bit off-kilter.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:48:00 AM   
polygirl50


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline 		a dom can definately be nice, i wouldn't want to be one who isn't.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 9:55:07 AM   
SrchngCpl73112


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline 		My 'Daddy' is alot like some of these relationships here.  Some people might say he is too nice.  He listens to me, asks my opinions on things, even takes my advise.  Ultimately the final decision is his but there are alot of times he asks me what i want to do and thats what we do.  It in no way takes away from his domliness.  He is still very much in control of me.  I love to serve him and there are even times that he wont let me.  He will make his own plate for dinner or take his own plate to the kitchen, get things himself without even asking me to do it and he doesnt order me to do things, he asks me.  I did actually tell him that i would like for him to make some rules for me or give me some specific things he would like me to do for him.  We had a great conversation about it and found out he didnt do it because of past relationships.  Its not because there arent things he would like me to do but in his last 2 relationships the "subs" changed.  They started out wanting to do everything for him and then they got tired of it.  I assured him that would not happen with me and he believes that.  We have a totally different relationship than what either of us have ever experienced and we are both still learning.  He has since given me things that he would like for me to do but they arent orders.  Well, i take that back there are a couple of orders or rules of the house i guess and i love that.  He is still very much a nice guy but he does know when to not be nice.  He doesnt have to give orders and rules and be mean to project his dominant personality, it just is.  Everyone around him sees it even though he is nice.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 10:44:58 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509
The thing I need to know is that can being too nice ruin things between a Master and slave?


I am only speaking from the perspective of my relationship, but yeah, if he was too nice I could see it ruining the transfer of authority.  If he was so nice that he did not hold me accountable when I screw up, then who really has the authority?  If I can behave in any manner I want and he is so nice that he will not call me on it, then he has no authority over me.  In that sense it would ruin things for me.  I do not enjoy a relationship with someone who is so nice that for the majority of the time they follow my will instead of their own will. 

There are many times that he does something nice for Alandra and I.  It is his will to do so, but I also know that he has the strength of will to do what he wants and it doesn't matter if it gives her and I pleasure or not.  If that steel was not there, then I would not be happy in the relationship.

quote:

 Do you feel less like you're serving when your owner always asks for your input and lets you make decisions on what the two of you will be doing? Do you prefer options or orders?


For me, serving has a rather broad definition and I can't really answer the question without understanding the context.  I can tell you that if I always made the decisions, then I would not perceive myself as following his will and would not consider myself his slave. 

I make lots of decisions in our relationship and sometimes, I get to decide what we will do.  However, I have parameters that are defined by him and I can be (and have been) over-ruled at any time.  I don't have free reign in my relationship even if the leash is held rather loosely at times.  If he perceives that I am overstepping my boundaries, he will very swiftly correct me. 

I function extremely well within the boundaries that he has defined.  Sometimes it may appear that I am not submitting to his will, because I don't stray outside of those boundaries.  However, his will is always there and after all this time it is just second nature for me to operate within those boundaries.  I also know that the boundaries can be changed at any time.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 10:49:50 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

The thing I need to know is that can being too nice ruin things between a Master and slave? Do you feel less like you're serving when your owner always asks for your input and lets you make decisions on what the two of you will be doing? Do you prefer options or orders?



i am married to one of the nicest men you will ever meet. It has ruined nothing but instead made it better. The way he treats me and wants my input lets me know i am valued in all ways.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 11:17:31 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Im looking for my marriage liscense. Nope. It dose'nt say Holly on it.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 11:35:36 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Im looking for my marriage liscense. Nope. It dose'nt say Holly on it.

oh darn


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 11:41:38 AM   
AdamTaylor


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline 		I think it all depends on the couple.

For some, niceness is a weakness. They want nothing but strict cruel treatment. Beaten for the slightest infraction. And used and tossed aside as the norm.

While others want a Master who they know not only wants them physically, but emotionally too. One that cares for them. And respects them.

And everything in between.

I like to ask my slave for opinions. And in fact, encourage her to suggest things, and let me know what she would like. But she always knows that in the end, the choice is mine. If I want to do something specific, that's what we do. But, if at the time, I don't have anything in particular I feel like doing, then I'll happily listen to what she'd like. And if it suits me, I will indulge her. Because it's something I still want to do as well.

I will use my slave. I can easily treat her like a slut or a whore. But I can also show her that she's my little girl... or my cherished pet... or my princess. I wouldn't own a slave I couldn't respect and admire... and hopefully love.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 12:23:35 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

The thing I need to know is that can being too nice ruin things between a Master and slave?



'Suppose it depends on the definition of 'nice'.

Being fair is of paramount importance. Some may see this as akin to being nice; I do not.

I believe she has to have the room to breathe. Some may see this as akin to being nice; I do not.

I fully believe in the concept of sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Come to think of it, what exactly do you mean when you say 'nice'?

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 12:34:20 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509

The thing I need to know is that can being too nice ruin things between a Master and slave? Do you feel less like you're serving when your owner always asks for your input and lets you make decisions on what the two of you will be doing? Do you prefer options or orders?



For me, there is such a thing as too nice.  I don't like to make decisions.  I get very frustrated if I'm always asked what I want because I don't want to be in control.  As an example, I absolutely hate being asked where I want to go for dinner.  *groans*  I don't care!!!  The way I see it is that since he's paying for it he should have the pleasure of deciding where he would like to eat.  I'll have a hard enough time deciding what I want when we get there.  Seriously.  I think if I send the waitress away more than once he should just pick something for me.  I can also be a little dense, so I prefer orders because they let me know exactly what he wants.  Instead of waiting for me to notice that his glass is empty, he can just set it down in front of me and tell me what he would like to drink.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 12:41:05 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I don't like to make decisions.  I get very frustrated if I'm always asked what I want because I don't want to be in control.  As an example, I absolutely hate being asked where I want to go for dinner.  *groans*  I don't care!!!  The way I see it is that since he's paying for it he should have the pleasure of deciding where he would like to eat. 



'Seems that you appreciate him being 'nice'.



_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 12:56:22 PM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent


'Seems that you appreciate him being 'nice'.




I never said I didn't.  I appreciate it when people do nice things for me.  He was always a gentleman on dates, which I expect and which is becoming more and more rare these days....therefore even more appreciated and prone to making me feel like I should have less of a say....but I'm weird I guess.
 
I said there is such a thing as TOO nice.
 
Somewhere in my rambling, I forgot to mention that I require physical punishment, so if you're too nice to beat my ass until I cry when I've fucked up, we're not going to work out.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 12:59:38 PM   
Mastersangel81


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: exile509
The thing I need to know is that can being too nice ruin things between a Master and slave? Do you feel less like you're serving when your owner always asks for your input and lets you make decisions on what the two of you will be doing? Do you prefer options or orders?


For the most part, i prefer orders or requests.  There are only certain areas where i actually want to make up my own decision or choose how i want something.  i am a pleaser.  i'm most happy when everyone around me is happy.  i like being able to do what the others want me to do if that makes them happy, but i also prefer serving, not deciding.  Another side to my own submissive is, i love being forced to do most everything!  Because of this personality i can be bratty.  So, it is hard for my Sir to judge what is right for me sometimes. 

angel

(in reply to exile509)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 1:00:48 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I struggle with this issue a lot.  I don’t give any options but what drives me nuts is that I say please and thank you during scenes.  Don’t get me wrong it seems to work extremely well but concept drives me nuts. I can be a little patronizing as well which comes across even stranger I think so woman get this politely willfully getting used to the max…LOL

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? - 10/15/2008 2:33:51 PM   
RubberLovers777


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		 I have a very sweet, nurturing side to myself that could be mistaken as being 'too nice' As I like pet to be happy, pleased, and taken care of properly. I see it as keeping up my property. I also have another side to myself that is the complete opposite, I can be mean, nasty, and downright cruel.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Can a Master/Dom be too nice? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094