Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Tributes


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tributes Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 10:56:16 AM   
nefariousdreams


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I sometimes wonder whether the number of Dommes demanding tribute is equal to the number of submissives will to pay a tribute...

I guess that will remain one of those unanswered questions as most could assume that a Pro Domme that doesn't receive tributes can't be much of a Domme at all

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 1:52:39 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		also as has been pointed out to me its a bit totally not cool defending yourself using another of your own profiles, like seriously not cool, if people agree with you (like Cali did) thats ace but if you need to use yourself to back up your own point im guessing there is something wrong.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:04:46 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I thought it was her master defending her.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:05:49 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Did you? i didnt, i would have figured he would have used his own profile rather than a joint one, seems an odd way to do it to me, mind you there is a 50/50 chance that you are right.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:16:53 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Back to the OP:

quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub

Why do most domme's i see on this site expect tributes?


Short answer... because they can. 
 
Longer answer...
 
1.  Men have historically been far more willing to pay for "getting some" (the composition of "some" being very subjective) than women.  There are plenty of prostitutes catering to men... far fewer gigilos catering to women.  Similarly, there are plenty of "Pro Dommes" (a misnomer... they are overwhelmingly Dominatrixes engaged in scene play with paying clients rather than Dominants engaged in power exchange relationships) catering to male bottoms in exchange for "tribute" (the function of which is often a kink unto itself).  And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch... I am not equating Dominatrixes with prostitutes.  Don't be so sensitive.
 
2.  Most female Dominants do not expect "tribute".  The professional Dominatrixes do.  They're business women and expect payment for their services.  You shouldn't confuse the two.
 
3.  "Tribute" sounds so much more sophisticated than saying an S/M session costs (fill in the blank with whatever the going rate may be).
 
quote:
why do female dominants expect it but male doms dont?


Again, it is not my experience that female Dominants expect tribute.  However, professional Dominatrixes do.  And I'm sure that there are some professional male Dominatrixes (or whatever they're called) who expect tribute as well.  They're just far fewer in number, and far less obvious as a result.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to teensub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:20:20 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		yes cali you were right, it was my master.

Im not that pathetic as to use another profile, seems colouredin really doesn't let things go.

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:22:37 PM   
nefariousdreams


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Did you? i didnt, i would have figured he would have used his own profile rather than a joint one, seems an odd way to do it to me, mind you there is a 50/50 chance that you are right.


A 50/50 chance of being right yet no word of an apology colouredin?

Nice to see CalifChick has an open mind and, yes, you can stop digging your little hole now as she is quite correct.

Even suggesting that teensub was responding to her own messages is a little sad don;t you think?

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:23:35 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Reading your posts, it was really a reasonable conclusion of hers.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to teensub)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:25:45 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		care to scroll back a page?

It is irrelevent either way, i wouldnt really expect a partner to come on and do anything else, however its not a little sad, unfortunatly I have known people to create new profiles as a way to back up their own point, but I dont actually feel I am digging anything, I stated that if it was felt I was being harsh then I appologise however it actually came from the fact that there was no recognition of other peoples points just insults when someone didnt agree.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to nefariousdreams)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:27:54 PM   
nefariousdreams


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Not being funny but how can it be a reasonable assumption to first off not read what was actually written and attack her and then assume that she was backing up her own opinion using another profile without even checking to see?

Much easier to post something negative on a message board after viewing our joint profile than actually check via PM or ask for clarification. Manners cost nothing.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:28:39 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I think the first issue is what do you mean by tribute. Do you mean paying for a real life session or do you mean women who demand money just to talk to them?

The pros or backroom hotel "pros" get the money for doing a service. If she's legite, you'll get your money's worth. If not, then it's probably a scammer who calls herself a pro and just walks around in latex and maybe spanks you a little. Either way, they're doing something (good quality or not) for said money. Customer pays, customer gets what wife or domme who wants commitment won't give.

The other tribute type, that won't even go to coffee with a guy without a gift are usually just greedy.
A) They're an actual domme who thinks her time is worth SO much she can milk guys for gifts.
B) She's a pro, wanting MORE gifts.
C) They're a wannabe pro.
D) More often than not, she's a young girl with a nice body who thinks if she throws around a bitchy attitude it makes her a domme.
E) One excuse I've heard is it filters out wankers from the serious men.

Why can women get away with this? Because there are more horny, desperate male subs than women to be with them. Many are married or just into a fetish and want any woman who will do it. They either pay a pro or are cheap and bother non-pros thinking they'll get a free wanker session. Some women get annoyed by it so demand tribute to make up for it. Some women are just greedy and see the rush of wankers as a way to make money.

Why do some women demand tributes? Because men give it. If men stopped opening their wallets then women couldn't demand anything. But not all dommes demand tributes. Maybe a lot seem to, but not everyone does.

Why don't male doms not require tribute? I assume because most female subs aren't about to pay a man for this stuff? Maybe more female subs are looking for long term things rather than wanker fodder? Someone said the males require sexytime tributes...some might. I guess. I have no opinion about that, never really run into it. But also, I assume, there are less female subs than male subs so a man has less to choose from than a domme. So why scare off the prey by saying "PAY ME MONEY BITCH" or whatever.

Supply and demand. Do the women who require tribute only do it for the money? I assume many do, they learn to spank a lil or flog then think they're in business. Doesn't take much skill to pee on a guy, he pays her and she pees then she can be off to a party with her friends in under an hour. Some women who want money do like to do what they do. And some do it for free...though we're more picky who play with; at least I am. And horny male subs don't always want to deal with getting to know a woman and all that polite stuff.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:30:04 PM   
nefariousdreams


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

care to scroll back a page?

It is irrelevent either way, i wouldnt really expect a partner to come on and do anything else, however its not a little sad, unfortunatly I have known people to create new profiles as a way to back up their own point, but I dont actually feel I am digging anything, I stated that if it was felt I was being harsh then I appologise however it actually came from the fact that there was no recognition of other peoples points just insults when someone didnt agree.


I love forums and message boards. One person can take offense where none is meant and then post something that someone else can take offense at without it being intended and so things escalate for no reason.

I guess teensub needs to spend more time studying Domme profiles for her own education...

Now back to that original question...

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 2:50:49 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		it's peer pressure and indulgence if you ask me.  'oh shit, becky just got some shoes from someone she didn't even know by saying she's a "goddess" and telling worthless men to buy her shoes, i wonder if i can get shoes too?!  SHOES I TELL YOU, SHOES!!!  FOOL MAN SHOES!'

considering how women are always being badgered for being materialistic, and men are always accused of being single minded sex fiends, i'd say many of the 2 genders of dominants are keeping up the traditions pretty well.

from my experience, and as much as i peruse the profiles of dominants, i don't really see 'tribute domme' profiles to nearly be what i'd call a majority though.

a fool and his money are easily parted; so too are foolish legs apparently.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 10/15/2008 3:03:23 PM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to teensub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:17:05 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nefariousdreams
I guess that will remain one of those unanswered questions as most could assume that a Pro Domme that doesn't receive tributes can't be much of a Domme at all

Prodommes are professional service tops.  Some identify as dominant women, but I have dated two former prodommes, and both identify as subs.  Also, a friend of mine, who is a professional phone sex dominatrix, identifies as sub/slave in her personal relationships.  A prodomme who does not receive tributes is not a pro, or is not a good businesswoman.  It has nothing to do with her sexual orientation.

teensub and nefariousdreams, the reason you are getting pushback on this thread is that you seem to believe you have a right to hold an opinion that is BDSM-clueless.  I don't care what your false, uninformed opinions are, and I doubt anyone else does either.  If you want to learn something from people who actually know facts and reality, you are welcome to pay attention.  If you want to get your backs up about "manners" because people aren't impressed by your comfort in your own ignorance, you won't find much sympathy.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to nefariousdreams)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:21:15 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		its not BDSM clueless at all, it has come from personal experiences. So are you trying to tell me that the personal experiences i have had with people are false?

Would like to know what makes you think you know more than us? And how you seem to know the facts? Nefariousdreams and i are not stating facts but merely own experiences and opinions.




_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:40:42 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teensub
Why do most domme's i see on this site expect tributes?
why do female dominants expect it but male doms dont?

Your question is about dommes you "see on this site."  The question is not based on direct, real-life experience with human beings you have met in person, but with profiles on CM.  There is a tremendous difference, and your lack of understanding of that difference is what unimpresses me.

I know more than you do in part because current and former prodommes are friends of mine.  If you had such real-life contacts, discussions of things like tribute and the overall economics of the business would have come up in regular conversation.

Your questions, and your responses to the posts of others, all indicate a primarily online "experience" with these things.  And even your online experience seems a bit lazy.  If you bothered to explore the threads colouredin provided you links to, you would find a great deal of data, provided by people who for example have represented prodommes in courts of law.  There is a tremendous amount of information on these boards.

It is, however, hard to teach someone who already thinks she knows everything.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to teensub)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:42:58 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		I am not saying i know everything as i certainly dont, but it seems that you think you do.
You are making judgements on what i know and who i know without knowing me at all.

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:46:52 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		There are many reasons a domme might ask for a tribute.  She may a pro-domme, an aspiring pro-domme, not interested in your demographic but puts up with it for a price, looking for quick money/items, a fake, real and that much in demand she can ask for them, etc etc etc.  There are good reasons and there are bad reasons.
What can you do?  Choose to pay them or not.  That is your perogative and it will not make you any less of a submissive.  I do not pay monetary tributes.  I am far more likely to find out their musical preference, and maybe burn them a CD I think they might like, or show up with flowers or something because I WANT to do it, not because it is demanded.
As long as there are those willing to pay for their services, there will be dommes out there charging for it.

(in reply to teensub)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 3:49:23 PM   
teensub


Posts: 135
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		thank you for a non judgemental and easy response Fetishrose.

If dominant ladies can make a living out of charging for there services then good on them. I guess i would never pay for these services and find it odd that people do, but that is just personal preference, like you say Fetish i would much rather burn a CD or buy some flowers because i want to.

_____________________________

L.pickle

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Tributes - 10/15/2008 4:49:37 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

If i was a domme i would be demanding tribute in the form of shoes.
Men arent that bothered about shoes, maybe thats why


I'm on this train right here!!!  But I want Boots, lots of boots, all kinds of boots, leather, patent, tall, taller, black, red...oh, it's getting rather warm in here...

Oh, wait, I'm not a pro...can I have the boots anyway?


< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 10/15/2008 4:50:06 PM >

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tributes Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109