RE: I want I want I want

RE: I want I want I want (Full Version)

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JustDarkness -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 10:29:53 AM)
quote: I want I want I want quote: -He who desires to possess everything must learn to be content with nothing- [:D]

IvyMorgan -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 10:41:59 AM)
I've just looked at my profile. I can't decide if it's a disguised shopping list or not. I do find the "I want a girl who I will do X, Y and Z to, think you're good enough, apply to me" style profiles tend to make me giggle, cringe, and then write a nice polite reply to the memo they've sent me. I don't even entertain the possibility of a conversation most of the time, unless the memo they sent was interesting (I tend to reply to memos blind, and only look at the profile after a couple of messages).

JustDarkness -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 10:44:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan I do find the "I want a girl who I will do X, Y and Z to, think you're good enough, apply to me" I do find them some how "weird" too. But on the otherside..those profiles can hardly be misunderstood. Some people like that. Looking at my profile...or my older profiles..you have to read between the lines..to know what I say. And still guess..what I say...lol

WestBaySlave -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 11:22:14 AM)
I like it when a master has a clear idea of what he's looking for. I try not to be too specific in my needs - mainly because for most stuff, it really doesn't matter to me - but a master writing his own "laundry list" helps paint me a picture of what he's seeking in a slave. Compatibility is always an issue, and it feels much better from the start for the dom or master to be the one outlining the relationship he's seeking and for me to see if I can and want to get involved. It'll be about what he wants anyhow, so I might as well start with a good idea of what that is. YMMV...

allthatjaz -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 11:23:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VampiresLair I think the lists I am referring to are not the way things are presented, but more WHAT is. I want someone to tie me up for x hours a day I want someone to take me with a strapon I want someone to tell me what to wear and how to wear it A list of how someone wants to be dominated. Or for dominants, a list of what they will be doing to someone, regardless of who that someone is. Knowing what you want is a good thing. But knowing what you are going to do, or have done to you, regardless of the other person involved is a bit too far on the fantasy side for me. Especially when people consider it non-negotiable. DV I never list what I actually want in the forms of BDSM for the simple reason that people home in on that list and then write saying 'yeah I want all that too'. I would rather they told me and if it turns out to be the same thing, which it recently has, then we can start getting somewhere. Totally agree about the non-negotiable bolloks. At the end of the day, like it or not, this is a consensual act and why the hell am I going to do something for a guy that is 'non-negotiable' if it turns me off him to the extent that I would walk? Being both dominant and submissive (which I don't portray on this profile) I understand what it is like to have a needy and over precious submissive. I also know what it is like to have an amazing and compromising submissive that works equally hard at making all of this work and in her I very much see my own submission.

yourMissTress -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 11:40:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VampiresLair I have noticed one thing that is pretty common. A vast majority of the profiles I have read so far are laundry lists of wants. Male and Female, Dominant and submissive... it is all about them. They make little to no mention of what they offer a potential partner, whether or not they have lives outside of their kink or interest, or even what they want in a relationship. ... So, to make this a relavent thread: Does anyone else find a laundry list of what you will or wont be or do to be an instant turn off? If I see this in a profile, I shy away immediately. DV Yes, and no. If the list is solely what they will and won't do without any possibility for growth, then yes it's an instant turn off. But, that doesn't mean that the person can't better explain themselves through email. Profiles are hard to write, sometimes people just don't know how to put down their thoughts in a cognitive manner without prompts or questions. If the lists explain that this is what they have done and would like to or not experience again, then no, not an instant turn off because I see them as getting to know themselves better and experimenting.

moonvine -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 11:44:40 AM)
fast reply This is a really good topic, thanks to the OP for starting it. I think it is harder to write a profile here than it is a vanilla site, and it is hard enough to write one of those. Accepted "wisdom" on vanilla sites is that you don't put a lot of what you don't want in your profile so as not to seem negative. I think it is good to let people know here though, if they really like "X" and you run screaming from the room at the very thought of "X" then maybe you might not be a good match. I personally love profiles that are long and tell a lot about a person, but I never know what about me would be interesting for a man to know (well, I DO know, but I don't want to put a laundry list of sexual proclivities out there). For me those checklists are more suited for someone I am actually considering scening with, and even then not to take the place of actual conversation. I cmailed with someone for months before ever seeing a picture, because I loved his profile so much - the last thing I cared about was what he looked like. But some people do not want to read all that. I was told I was annoying last night for only putting vanilla interests and limits in my profile - well, I just don't think everyone who reads this site needs to know that much about me. I guess searching sucks, and if you find someone you can have more fun with it, and put whatever you want out there.

Jeptha -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 11:56:31 AM)
I understand having some requirements. At my age, I've determined that I want certain things that are kind of esoteric, and if I can't have them, then let's just be friends. It all depends on what those wants are, of course. If the list is long, but seems general, and leaves some room for interpretation and personal style and creativity, then ok. If it's long and seems to just want to re-create the exact relationship the person just left, or is just looking, in effect, to plug part A into socket B, multiplied ten times, then maybe not.

tweedydaddy -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 12:13:38 PM)
If someone wants to declare himself the King of the potato people on his or her profile, isn't that their business? It's their profile.

PanthersMom -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 12:24:23 PM)
i kinda look at profiles like window dressing, if they say something that attracts me i'll look inside and see what's there. it might be a few "i want"s that gets me interested, maybe a few "i don't want"s and possibly a few "i'd like to have"s. all depends on what's said. never really looked at my profile from your point of view tho, maybe i should. might be time to revise a few things. PM

MrHarsh -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 12:42:36 PM)
As someone with a laundry list of wants profile, i can say that I get much more success with it than with the bland and generic profiles I was using before. I find that a whole lot of profiles somehow manage to say a whole lot of nothing. My eyes glaze over before I get to the end. There's nothing there that grabs me. Worse still, they all seem to contain the same collection of meaningless phrases. If you want to get people to respond to your profile, you need to have something there that catches people's attention - some kind of hook that grabs them. I find that the list of wants is very attention getting to somebody who wants the same thing. That is much better than having someone stop reading the profile half-way through and having them move on. My profile is about drawing in the specific type of person I want. If someone reads my profile and doesn't like it, then I probably wouldn't have been interested in that person anyway! I certainly don't take offense if somebody dislikes my profile. Likewise, if a profile offends you, simply move on. That person is not for you. Perhaps somebody else is.

colouredin -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 12:46:19 PM)
FR I find kink-centric profiles in general a turn off, I write messgaes to profiles that seem to show some amount of insight or make me laugh. Something that has clearly taken some time to write. ANyone can write a list of what they want its boring and says very little about the person, there is a checlist for that. However my biggest pet peeve is actually people calling out 'scammers' or 'fakes' or claiming that no one on the site is genuine and they are 'loosing faith' i think they are really dull and are attepting to get interest through sympathy, not something I am personally attracted to

housemouse61 -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 1:09:14 PM)
i don't perv profiles that often as i'm collared and quite comfy, cozy as such. But, i do have a possible, psychological theory about the "laundry listing" affect. When one first sets up a profile on many of these BDSM/dating sites the webmaster of these sites offer a long list of likes/dislikes that one can check off and, sometimes, even rate their experience with or how much they like/dislike this, that or the other thing. Perhaps, by the web designers' using this type of format they have inadvertently set some up for a "laundry list" mentality, as it were. Just a thought. No doubt a very silly one. But you never know. [;)] Peace favor and blessed be, nikki Property of Cruel Desires

allthatjaz -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 1:30:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy If someone wants to declare himself the King of the potato people on his or her profile, isn't that their business? It's their profile. Now that made me laugh [:D]

moonvine -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 1:37:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy If someone wants to declare himself the King of the potato people on his or her profile, isn't that their business? It's their profile. Sure, but if they are looking for a partner they may limit themselves to those who wish to be the Queen of the potato people.

JustDarkness -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 1:42:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine quote: ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy If someone wants to declare himself the King of the potato people on his or her profile, isn't that their business? It's their profile. Sure, but if they are looking for a partner they may limit themselves to those who wish to be the Queen of the potato people. Propably that is what they want..else they wouldn't put the list up

RCdc -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 1:59:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: moonvine quote: ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy If someone wants to declare himself the King of the potato people on his or her profile, isn't that their business? It's their profile. Sure, but if they are looking for a partner they may limit themselves to those who wish to be the Queen of the potato people. I believe her name is Maris Piper. Third aisle in.[;)] the.dark.

ExKat -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 3:12:16 PM)
I prefer the 'I want, I want, I wants' to the "I DON'T want, I DON'T want, don't even think about contacting me if...". At least the "I wants" are still somewhat optimistic! But, yes, it is discouraging to find a profile for someone, read 2,000 words about what they're looking for, and still not know anything about them.

littlewonder -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 3:30:32 PM)
I don't see it as a turnoff at all. I see someone who is confident and knowledgeable in what they want, desire and need in their life. Why waste time getting to know someone who doesn't fit the bill?

catize -> RE: I want I want I want (10/16/2008 4:42:58 PM)
My observation is that there are a great number of male service tops who respond positively to a submissive listing his/her wants. My profile has been blank for some time because I’m not really looking. But in the past, what I would write reflected my learning curve and changed as I grew in understanding. We all put ourselves out there the best way we know. But no matter what is in a profile, it’s gonna piss somebody off, turn them off, whatever. It is impossible to write one that is perfect for everyone else. A gazillion negative responses are meaningless. If it only works once we can say ‘mission accomplished’.

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